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Subaru Natsuki, a 17 year old hikkomorri who has nothing to live for.
Living alone with both parents dead--Subaru decides it's the end of it
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The rain splatters on the window, slowly but steadily rolling down. The noose hung low on the hook--ready for what's about to come, papers scattered everywhere on the table, ink printed on ripped up sheets
Balls of paper found across the room, some falling off the already filled up bin, a loud sigh could be heard.
"That should be it" Subaru said quietly to himself. He knew he would regret this--considering he made a promise to his friends, to his girlfriend. To think about the aftermath of his attempt broke his heart, but he knew it was for the better.
Tear droplets smacked the chair beneath him.
How did it come to this? He thought as he slowly pulled the noose to his neck, his thoughts clouding his brain, happy moments with Beako, Rem, Ram, Emilia and the others came to his mind. His cooking sessions with Rem and Ram, play fighting with garfiel, going on mini trips with Emilia and otto, him and Beako reading together
They all came flooding back to him.
'i can't back down now, not after writing all that.' he thought to himself
The noose squeezed his throat shut. His attempts at grabbing failed, he turned pale.
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Ever since subaru was little, he was constantly seen as weird. His hyper and energetic behaviour was easily shut down by others. He slowly became a shut in, rarely speaking to anybody about his emotions, quickly masking them.
That was until. He met Emilia, she fortunately made everyday worth it. The constant mocking and shoves didn't bother him the slightest bit because Emilia was always there, there to listen. The more he grew the more he gained honest and loyal friends. They made everything single day better for Subaru, and he couldn't be more happier, they all filled him with excitement, with joy. Till that day.
That day when Subaru and Emilia got into an argument, she became more with drawn. Slowly involving herself with other things instead of interacting with subaru, he understood she was deeply hurt by his words, so did she. But he couldn't explain the empty, deep feeling he got when he saw her walking with the others, joyful
It broke him to pieces seeing her with other people. It was like his heart was hit with a hammer repeatedly, till it stopped beating.
His friends were of course worried for the both of them and their relationship hanging on by a thread. But he denied any help, helplessly isolating himself in his room once again.
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Emilia decided that was it, she needed to go and talk to subaru. She wanted to mend her relationship with him. After all he was only worried for her. She steadily walked to his house, carrying chocolate filled donuts in her beige baskets. Peacefully humming, she knocked on the door.
No answer, how odd.
She knocked again, no answer. She suddenly remembered he had a spare key hiding under his flower pot. She looked under the singular flower pot, that's when she spotted the metallic key.
'aha! There it is, seems like he didn't move it after all' she thought, letting out a little chuckle at the end
She entered the house. As always, it was dark and chilly. It was usually like this in subaru house, dark. He hates the lights on
The house smelt like pain thinner and dust, she coughs a few times before fully entering and shutting the door. She quickly turned on the lights.
"Subaru?" She said, her quite voice echoing the ghastly house. She shivered. No answer
The house was awfully quite.
You see, Subaru is a pretty noisy guy, it was unusal for the otaku to be so silent, there was always some type of noise, like loud music, or the ruffling of footsteps.
It hit her, she knew about subaru and his suicidal indencies, he would scratch his skin till it bled as a way to cope with stress. And honestly she's been very worried about him ever since the agreement, he started reverting to his old ways--falling back into his bed, never getting up and never having the motivation, blood-shot eyes from crying so much, eyebags. She knew it all too well
She quickly ran to his room, the scent of dust and trash became even more stronger.
"Subaru?." She said loudly, met with silence she banged on the door
"Subaru?, Subaru open the door." her voice slightly shook from fear, the door was locked, no way in. The lack of cooperation from the other sent her spiraling.
She banged even harder, her voice breaking as she screamed. That's when she managed to break the door.
The sight DAWNED on her, Subaru's barely alive body swaying back and fourth, the skin pale with a light purple undertone to it, unable to move she cried, cried and cried. Her eyes meet with the pile of envelopes on his desk. The pair of eyes moving between the body and the envelopes, that's when she got up and darted for his body. Crashing into the chair as they both collide with the futton laid on the floor.
The basket of pastries spilt all over the floor messily, it's scent masking the room entirely.
She shook him, hard crying and sobbing.
Grabbing for the phone next to her, she immediately rang the ambulance, sobbing, barely managing to keep her composure.
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Days later after the incident, Subaru was stuck in a medical induced coma, his body barely having the strength to fight for its life.
Otto, Beatrice, Emilia, Rem, Ram and Garfiel all line up outside, with messed up hair to messed up clothes. They all rushed to the hospital after hearing the unfortunate news, their skin a sickly green from vomiting so much, the heaving eye bags and red eyes they had due to the lack of sleep/crying too much.
When did it all go wrong they wondered, body running on adrenaline and cheap coffee. That's when Emilia broke, sobbing loudly as her body let out a blood-curdling scream, the others went to comfort her
"Why did he do this, he Promised us not too" she said between wheeze and sobs
The thing is that Subaru didn't know why he did it, he wanted to escape, escape it all. The torment life has caused him.