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“Are you holding some poison inside you too?”
Those were Lord Jinshi’s words as he drew my face close to his. I didn’t know what he intended to do, but some part of me didn’t reject the outcome. Because I knew—despite being firmly within his grasp—he wouldn’t harm me. Whatever happens, happens.
And it happened.
My vision was filled with his closed eyelids as my mouth was firmly sealed. I could only breathe smoothly through my nose while my mouth gasped for air. Though I didn’t know what he was doing, it didn’t bother me. It was a new experience. I felt nervous at first, but that quickly settled into a strange calm.
At some point, I closed my eyes too. The world’s ambient noise faded as our lips remained pressed together. Sure, my heart quickened—but that happens with any new experience. This one simply came with a few conditions… and some strong emotions.
Emotions I didn’t have.
It didn’t surprise me to realize I had limits—and emotions I lacked. Our interlocked lips let me feel his breathing and pulse. They were faster than mine. Bizarre.
Even though he’d initiated it, he was nervous too. And to think… he’d been ready for this from the start, catching me off guard.
But the bigger question was: for how long? How long had he been planning this? When did it start—these strong feelings he had for me? All those moments we’d been alone… was this the result he wanted? Or… was it something else entirely?
Fate? Unreliable. So that’s out of the question. If fate brought us together, then it also brought those kidnappers who dragged me into the Emperor’s domain. No—fate is not something I believe in.
Chance? Don’t get me started.
Premonition? Please.
Luck? Please. I got kidnapped. My luck couldn’t be worse.
If it’s something I can’t understand, then I guess it’ll take time for me to learn—like now. Should I move my lips? Or stay still?
What a pain. Why should I learn these unnecessary things?
As I mulled it over, I slowly opened my eyes. Lord Jinshi had pulled away, a slight pout on his face. Seems he’d stopped kissing me for a while now.
“Hm. What is the matter, Lord Jinshi?”
“What were you thinking about? You had such a serious look.”
“Um… nothing really. In fact, it’s probably better if you didn’t know.”
“I knew it!”
Lord Jinshi’s shout echoed in my ears. We were in the Verdigris House—someone was bound to hear.
“Is there a problem, Lord Jinshi?” I asked, covering my ears.
“You didn’t like it, did you?”
“Of course I didn’t.”
“What?!”
I clarified, “Who would like someone shouting near their ears? Personally, I’d like to keep my eardrums intact.”
Lord Jinshi fell silent. Did I say something I shouldn’t have?
Being around powerful people really does dull your sense of normalcy.
After several seconds, Lord Jinshi finally spoke.
“The… you know… Um…”
I thought over a few possibilities. One stood out right away. “Oh—the kiss?”
“The fact you had to think about it just…” His voice trailed off.
Well, I had been thinking about something else.
He gave a small nod—clearly, that was it.
“It was… okay, I guess.”
“Kill me now.”
“But,” a faint light returned to his eyes, “I still have a lot to learn. I hope you don’t mind waiting.”
With a soft sigh, Lord Jinshi collapsed onto my lap. I resumed my work as if nothing unusual had happened.
Somewhere, somehow, I poisoned him.