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Zoe was in her bed, unable to sleep. It was late, around 11pm and she was alone which was strange because Renata wasn't the kind to stay up late. On the contrary, she stuck to a strict schedule that resulted in going to bed early and getting up early. Zoe couldn't sleep when she didn't know where Renata was. After all, she could have fainted somewhere or she might have fallen and hurt herself. Zoe was becoming more and more vigilant, it annoyed Renata to the highest level but she couldn't do anything about it. Not when the last time Renata had fallen, missing a step on the stairs, Zoe had thought she had lost her. She had seen her at the bottom of the stairs, unconscious. Fortunately she had come out of it without any after-effects, unlike Zoe who had become stressed and overprotective to the point of not being able to sleep if Renata wasn't there. After a few more minutes, weighing the pros and cons, she decided that she needed to go get her no matter if she could be reprimanded for being up after curfew or if Renata was mad at her for watching her. She needed to make sure she was okay.
She quickly wakes up and dresses up trying to put things that will hide her identity to the camera and get out of her room. Now she has to think. Where could Renata be at almost 12pm ? If she wasn't injured, she could only be on the track, but if she was injured, she could be absolutely anywhere between the track and their room. The most logical thing would be to go to the training ground in any case. Zoe really hoped that Renata wasn't bleeding to death at the bottom of a staircase of some kind. She quickened her pace, until she saw someone in the hallway. Shit, it wasn't Renata. Maybe a supervisor who had seen her on the cameras? She had to hide. Quickly. She turned, looking for a hiding place, but unfortunately she knocked over a frame in her haste. The man turned around. Looking at her.
-Zoe?
The surprise and relief that Zoe felt almost made her lose the use of her legs.
-What the hell are you doing here!? You freaked me out.
She approached the man. Which turned out to be Sebas.
-In your opinion?
He pointed to a door. Roque's room. Obviously.
-How about you?
-I'm looking for Renata. She didn't come to bed, I'm afraid she got hurt.
Sebas pouted septically, leaning on Roque's door.
-You must not look for her. She is fine, she did not drink, she did not smoke, she was not exhausted, there is no reason for her to hurt herself.
Zoe refrained from saying what she thought rightly. Fuck it was really him, Sebas, who dared to tell her that? He had pissed everyone off with Roque's injury. Going so far as to push those who got too close to him.
-I know what you think Zoe. But don't forget that Roque was on the verge of leaving me because he couldn't stand my worry anymore.
Yeah, Zoe had forgotten, but it had really hit everyone hard. Roque rarely got angry, let alone with Sebas. So seeing him yell at him to leave him alone had been a strange experience for everyone. Shit, maybe Sebas was right. Renata's patience was getting thinner and thinner; if she found her on the training ground in top form, Renata would get angry. After all, she wasn't completely weak, just a little weakened because of her treatment, and as long as she slept, ate, and hydrated properly, she wasn't at any greater risk than any of them. As she continued to think, Sebas patted her on the shoulder before disappearing into Roque's room. Once alone in the hallway, Zoe began to weigh the pros and cons again. Renata was an adult, she knew when to stop when things were no longer going well. When her body became too weak and was in danger of giving out, she wouldn't let it do anything and sat down. And in those cases, nothing stopped her from calling Zoe if she needed help. Zoe wouldn't be of any help if Renata didn't want to be helped. Like that time on the stairs, if she hadn't insisted on helping her down, Renata wouldn't have gotten angry and would have focused on her steps. She had no reason to go looking for her anymore. All that was left for her to do was turn around and go to bed. Renata wouldn't want her staying up so late anyway. Once back in her bed Zoe tries to sleep, closing her eyes and counting sheep or whatever and when she finally feels about to fall asleep her phone starts ringing. Without even opening her eyes, she took it, picked it up and put it near her ear.
“Zoe, I need you. I'm at the cabin.”
The call cut off at once. Shit, she knew it. She should have kept looking. This time she didn't take the time to camouflage herself a little and ran straight away. Jacobo would be proud to see her run so fast.
When she arrived at the cabin, expecting the worst, she was reassured to see Renata sitting on the sofa. Whole, and not covered with blood.
-Hey.. What are you doing here? All right?
Renata began to bite her lower lip, her chin trembling. Zoe moved closer to the couch which caused Renata to curl up on herself. Zoe sat down next to her.
-Talk to me, pretty.
Renata kept her teeth tight but handed Zoe a crumpled paper. She hadn't even noticed it. She took it and flew over it. It was the results of a blood test. Zoe quickly understood what this meant, Renata still had too much testosterone. But it was strange, last time they checked she was fine. She was able to participate in the elections for the Olympics. It was when she read the header that she really understood: they had made a mistake, reversing two lines.
-Oh… I’m so sorry.
Renata puts her head on Zoe’s shoulder, she probably is exhausted.
-Don’t be. It's not your fault.
Zoe put one arm under Renata's knees and the other behind her back to bring her onto her lap. Renata curled up directly onto her chest, her head in her neck. Zoe felt Renata relax, her muscles loosening and her breathing slowing down gently. Zoe ran her fingers through Renata's blond hair. This wasn't the first time Renata had received this kind of news, but she usually flew into a rage, hitting things, and breaking others. She often walked away from people and refused to talk. The fact that she was so calm, that she called Zoe and let her hug her was strange. She looked exhausted, as if this was one time too many.
-Do you… Do you see me differently since you know?
Zoe frowns, she felt her brain slow down, it was too late for this kind of vague question. Luckily Renata knew her well enough to know that she needed to clarify her question without Zoe having to ask.
-Do you still see me as a woman ?
Zoe's breath hitches for a second. It was really too late to have this kind of serious conversation.
-And you ? Do you feel like a woman ?
When her question left her mouth Zoe immediately regretted it. What if her question was inappropriate? It seemed inappropriate to her. As if she didn't want to offend her by answering. As if she thought she wasn't a woman, but Renata smiled softly.
-You are the first to actually ask how I feel about my intersexuality. I think I do.
She snuggles a bit more to Zoe, kissing her neck before looking her in the eyes.
-And you ?
Zoe smiles, she had asked the right question now it was easy.
-Yes. I see you as a woman. It never changes anything for me to know that you are intersex.
Renata smiles, showing her teeth and oh Zoe was so in love with her that she could feel it in every fiber of her body. This woman really made her feel every possible emotion in such a strong way that she seriously wonders how she could still be alive. How could she survive when she felt her soul outgrowing her, trying to be one with Renata's, when her heart screamed when she was there but also when she wasn't? She knew it, every cell in her body was dedicated to Renata, and had been since the beginning. The truth is, she didn't think she could survive without her. She brought her too much life. So much so that sometimes she didn't know what to do with all this joy except run until her brain was empty and ready to be filled again. She hadn't felt that, the need to run when you don't know what to do with your happiness, since... since Yaiza. Damn Renata really pushed her to improve, to surpass herself. If someone had told her that she would fall so deeply in love upon entering this center that she willingly called her prison, she would have laughed in their face.
-What’s in your mind.
-You, actually, you're the only one in my mind.
Renata sat up, sitting on her lap. She gently brought her face closer to hers, and when she opened her mouth to speak, Zoe could feel her lower lip brush against hers. No one on this earth could tease her like Renata did. She had so much power on her.
-I am ?
Zoe just nodded, liking her mouth as she looked at Renata's. She could kiss her right here and now but being teased was really too good.
-You have a pretty good place in my mind too. Maybe not as big as the heptathlon, but you never know.
Zoe giggled, running her tongue over her teeth. Oh she was so weak right now.
-Stop teasing me and kiss me Ren’.
Renata starts giggling too before finally agreeing to Zoe's request and kissing her. Zoe immediately felt her whole body wake up and warm up, and it was an explosion when Renata pushed her to lie down on the sofa. Tomorrow she will beat her record, Jacobo will be happy too.
The next morning, when Zoe woke up in her underwear on Gunther's old couch, the first thing she saw was Renata, in the same outfit as her, already looking at her with a smile on her face.
-What? Do I have something on my face?
Renata shook her head before kissing her and whispering against her lips.
-Thank you for trusting me and waiting for my call before looking for me.
Zoe smiled and kissed her back. She might beat a world record today.