Work Text:
Dan: gm rat
Phil: i’m frog
Phil: You’re rat. Good morning RAT
Dan: debatable
Dan: whats your plan for the day
Phil: What do you think?? As close to nothing as possible
Dan: lmao
Dan: are the builders still there
Phil: unfortunately
Phil: They were very displeased when they found out you’re out of town you know!
Dan: damn guess they’ll have to deal with the wife in my absence
Phil: at least now they’re not in danger of seeing the dipples
Dan: the what
Phil: dipples! Y’know Dan nipples
Phil: you’re the one that said it in the first place!!
Dan: for god’s sake
Dan: god forbid a girl show a little bit of dipple
Dan: also p sure they liked it
Phil: what the piss does that mean
Dan: omg phil…are u actually jealous rn
Phil: depends 🐗
Phil: What did you have for breakfast
Dan: you’re gonna hate me
Phil: yeah probably
Dan: croissants that were almost as good as lune
Phil: no WAY
Phil: 9/10 jealous 🙍🏼♂️
Dan: coff too
Dan: but it’s better when u make
Phil: That’s because it’s phoffee
Dan: yeah ok that’s the last straw
.
Phil: i went on a walk and accidentally knocked a plate full of cake out of a kid’s hands
Dan: wtf
Phil: to be fair the kid was running really really fast and i was walking at normal speed
Phil: and BAM! Murphy’s law in action
Dan: if something can go wrong it will?
Phil: oh i was thinking about the motion one
Dan: newton’s 1st law bub good thing you’re not a scientist
Dan: though tbf sounds like both apply here
Phil: anyway the kid looked so devastated and i had no CLUE what i was meant to do
Phil: so i scurried away quickly like a little guinea pig
Phil: squeak squeak
Dan: not making a great case for u not being a rat here
Dan: also you didnt even apologise or anything??
Phil: i might have squeaked out something that kinda sounded like im sorry
Phil: i panicked!! 🤯
Dan: god phil how did you ever survive 22 years without me
Phil: it was buttercream cake too
Phil: what a waste 😿
Dan: menace
Phil: what are you up to
Dan: [Photo attached of Dan standing in front of a very recognizable skyscraper, holding up a peace sign]
Phil: holy shit, i can’t believe you’re actually taller than it!
Dan: well what can i say i’m a long lad
Dan: reminded me of when we were in japan and saw that random internet tower and you said ‘omg dan look its the tokyo tower’
Phil: stop that never happened 🐗
Phil: stop texting me go enjoy your holiday!
Dan: ugh fine mr. fun police
.
Dan: phil
Dan: phil u here
Phil: virtually? yes, physically prob not
Phil: you k?
Dan: i’m at a club
Phil: omg danny boy
Phil: look at you partying, i’m so proud son
Dan: ok first shut up i go out on occasion
Dan: second there’s this guy
Phil: oh?
Dan: he keeps using these god awful pick up lines on me
Dan: i told him i’m taken but i don’t think he got it through his thick skull
Phil: is he hot?
Dan: nah
Dan: too beefy for me, i think. kinda freaky tbh
Phil: what, you don’t want a little side of beefcake?
Dan: bro
Dan: don’t even w me
Dan: omg he’s coming back
Dan: call pls
Phil: 
Dan: PHILIP
Phil: fine
.
“You are the worst.”
“Why hello there Daniel, it’s lovely to hear your voice too, you’re welcome for calling at such short notice - “
“I’m going to cut out your entrails and cook them with - oh yes, hello sweetheart. You said you had an emergency?”
“Oh my god, is this finally it? Have I finally reached the day where you’re going to roleplay back to me? You should’ve let me know. I could’ve prepared better. Guess I’ll just improvise. Oh yes, honey, I just called to tell you that our dear friend Ernest has been admitted to the hospital with consumption.”
“Ernest?! Phil, you know you don’t have to roleplay back. He can’t actually hear - Consumption, is it? That sounds dreadful. How much longer does he have to live?”
“Oh, the doctors aren’t sure. Maybe hours, maybe weeks. It just came on so fast, you know? So you should get here as fast as you can.”
“Right. Hey, uh, Jake, it was nice to meet you or whatever, but I’ve got to go. Yeah, our friend is in the hospital and we don’t know how long he has left… right, yeah, bye.”
“...Dan?”
“Right, I’m out. What the fuck is wrong with you?! Consumption? Isn’t that, like, tuberculosis? I’m pretty sure they have a cure for that these days.”
“Well, excuse me for not studying medicine!”
“Right, instead you studied how to make mouth sounds. Fat load of good that does me when I’m trying to get away from a man in a club.”
“It worked, didn’t it? You’re away.”
“...yeah.”
“Hey. How are you feeling, then?”
“I don’t know. Weird.”
“Dan, c’mon.”
“I know, I know. Communication or whatever. I just, I don’t know. I thought I wanted to come out tonight. Or at the very least, I didn’t want to miss whatever shit the others would get into. But now I’m questioning why the hell I wanted to go out in the first place.”
“Ugh. Yeah, I get that. I’m sorry. But you know, I’m proud of you! You went out, you put yourself out there! And now you can go back and cozy up in your hotel bed and livestream the next episode of Chainsaw Man with me.”
“Fucking hell, Phil.”
“What? I’m being nice, brat!”
“I know, you bitch. And I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel. It’s so fucking ridiculous how I can be away from you for like, two days, and still miss you and wish you were here. I don’t think it’s healthy.”
“Or maybe it’s too healthy when we’re together. So healthy that it like, zaps your health away when you’re gone.”
“Zap.”
“Plap.”
“Slap. Idiot.”
“I miss you too, you horrible, awful boy. Hurry up and get back home.”
.
Dan: gm sea cucumber
Dan: c’mon rat i know ur not still in bed
Dan: phil?
Dan: come on i know i was complaining about me being clingy but i hardly think this is the way to solve it
Phil: Daniel
Phil: I’m going to need you not to freak out
Dan: wtf
Dan: you can’t just say that because now i AM officially freaking out
Dan: what happened?!?
Phil: i’m on the way to A&E
Phil: but it’s okay, seriously! I’m okay
Dan: what have you gone and done now??
Phil: nothing! Really don’t even worry about it
Phil: i just woke up with really bad stomach pain and barely even made it to the toilet so I figured I should get checked out yeah?
Dan: holy shit bub??
Dan: please keep me updated and lmk if you need to call
Phil: no i’m okay! Go out have fun enjoy your holiday and all that
Dan: i won’t
.
Dan: status update?
Dan: are you alive
Dan: i’m literally going to call the hospital
Phil: [selfie, from hospital bed. Phil is in a full hospital gown and looking tired, but at least very much alive.]
Phil: i’m alive bitch
Dan: why do you do this to me
Phil: sorry i had to. also was talking to docs so wasn't allowed my phone
Phil: uh so i have appendicitis
Dan: appendicitis?!
Dan: fucking appendicitis i thought that was something you got in grade school
Phil: apparently not?
Phil: i have to have surgery and like
Phil: the whole shebang
Phil: but really don’t worry! It’s routine surgery they said
Dan: god of course i’d end up with the one man in the world that can’t stay healthy for the life of him
Dan: when’s surgery?
Phil: soon, within a couple hours i think
Phil: but dan! don’t let this ruin your holiday! i’ll be ok especially once this rotten appendix is out
Dan: you’re so fucking ridiculous
Dan: make the doctors take care of you yeah? be there asap
Phil: DAN
Phil: DANIEL JAMES HOWELL DON’T YOU DARE
Phil: DO NOT GET ON A PLANE
.
The nurse gives Phil a reassuring smile as he blearily blinks his way back into reality. “Mr. Lester, good morning! Surgery went well, no complications. How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” Phil says, the truth. He can’t really comprehend anything except the wave of fatigue crashing over him. “I - the surgery’s already over? I was just counting down…”
“Happens like that,” the nurse says with a hum of sympathy. “You have a visitor, by the way. If you’re feeling up to it.”
“Is it a young looking lad with brown curls,” Phil huffs out, his pulse speeding up. God, he had told Dan not to come - but still, he couldn’t be more thrilled that Dan was back , after a long few days apart -
“It is,” comes a loud, mildly posh voice from the doorway.
“Mr. Howell,” the nurse scolds, a laugh in her voice. “I told you to wait outside until I confirm he’s feeling up to visitors.”
“I’m hardly a normal visitor,” Dan scoffs in response. “He’s…”
Phil tilts his head then to finally look at Dan. It always takes him off guard a little bit, taking in the sight that is Dan Howell, especially when they’ve been apart. He looks mildly disheveled, probably from darting through the airport, and there’s still a gleam of sweat on his brow. But to Phil, in this moment, he couldn’t look more breathtaking. And then there’s those eyes - those eyes that are fixated directly on Phil, with a warmth Phil’s never felt from anyone else. Without even meaning to, Phil’s lips curve into a small smile. “He’s my partner. He’s allowed.”
The nurse looks in between Dan and Phil, a tiny smile making its way onto her face too. “I’ll give you two a moment alone, then.”
Dan makes his way over to Phil’s bed, hesitant in the way he only is when Phil’s been injured or ill in some way. Phil reaches out an arm to him, inviting, pulling him close when Dan finally makes his way to Phil’s bedside. Dan wraps an arm around him and buries his head into Phil’s chest. Phil breathes in Dan’s scent, an all-too-familiar yet strangely soothing aroma.
“Horrible boy,” Phil finally manages. “I told you not to leave, to enjoy your holiday, and you completely ignored me!”
“You were in the fucking hospital, Phil,” Dan snaps back. “It’s not like I just got homesick and decided to pop over for a coffee. You were in the hospital, and you couldn’t keep me up to date, and shit, all I could think about was if you were okay. So even if I had stayed, I wouldn’t have had one bit of fun on holiday. Might as well be here.”
“Fine,” Phil relents. He scoots over so that there’s room on the bed for Dan too, and Dan climbs in next to him, no words needed. Dan puts his head back on Phil’s chest, then tilts it up to look at him, a frown on his face.
“Seriously, you’ve got to stop this,” Dan says. “You’re going to give me an actual heart attack one of these days.”
“Look, it’s my brand,” Phil says sheepishly. “It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose!”
“Yeah, right. I was on holiday alone for four days and you couldn’t handle it. You just wanted attention, huh, bub?” Dan says teasingly. He’s got a stupid smirk on his face and all Phil wants to do is kiss it off.
“Hey, I told you to stay there! You’re the one who flew all the way back to London like an idiot,” Phil says, poking Dan’s nose lightly with his free hand.
“You know,” Dan murmurs, those loving brown eyes still fixated on Phil’s face, “of all the dumb things I’ve done for you, I don’t think this would even crack the top ten.”