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"She seems dressed in all of me"
Some part of me knew, before it snapped. A pull, a feeling, a notion drove me forward. Thoughtless and unbidden... Wards don't snap for desperate mates. Something beyond me sliced them. To break the wards, something in me broke in turn.
She was sopping wet, shaking. Long brown hair soiled. Yet her eyes mirrored mine, and the thieving words left my lips without clearance.
I couldn't save her from the caldron. I couldn't save her from me. But I could lend my coat.
"Stretched across my shame, All the torment and the pain Leaked through and covered me"
She deserved better. Jes , Elain. My mum. They all deserved better. Mother forbid a woman tied to me be happy.
The night was illuminated by my presence, that's what my mum said of my birth. She said the Autumn Court lit up like the sun. Night became day. A blessing from the Mother... those were her words.
Maybe my eyes gave it away. Or my hair. Or my mum's smile looking at me.
"I'd do anything to have her to myself"
Jes epitomized a sunshower : refreshing, steamy, surprising. She drenched me in affection. Her petrichor scent lingered on my skin, but her words still dwell in my heart.
"Its a hunt" she trilled, scratching her nails down my back. Her nimbus of love immersing me as she quipped, "You're the fox, and I'm the hunter".
Sensuous sex became sentimental, salacious banter turned sincere. Her pursuit proved fruitful and she snared my heart. Seeped in bliss, neither of us noticed when the roles reversed, and the fox became the hunter.
"Just to have her for myself"
Caught up in the chase, I ignored the dogs closing in. Barking became background noise, snarling hardly reached my ears. But Jes heard them. She warned me. "I love you, I do. But don't make me meet him, Lucien!"
But a whipped dog returns to its master, and I wasn't the fox, but a hound.
"Now I don't know what to do."
In my heart there is a decadent hall, decorated with heavy white curtains and ribbons of orange and gold. A wreath of forget-me-nots hangs on a young female's statue. It's a crown of remembrance, reverence. A shrine to shattered love.
Its all I can do to atone. Worship her memory. Sing psalms praising her wit, her ceaseless hope, her zeal for life. Eulogize her forgotten voice, the future she was denied.
"I don't know what to do"
Elain was torn away. I held onto her, but she was ripped from me. A tingling feeling lingered in my hands.
Bone deep sadness engulfed me as I watched her disappear. My heart caught in my throat.
"When she makes me sad"
A sense of loss is all I felt... Feel still.
I mourned for more than my mate stolen by the Night Court. Its a deep grief for the love I've betrayed. Adulterer. Like mother like son.
I skinned the fox and threw the pelt in the fire.