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Mafuyu knows exactly what time it is. She also knows how long she has been 17 for, and how long it will take for her to become 18.
10 hours and 9 minutes, exactly. But less so to the time that she will wake up on her own body, 10 years down the line.
She doesn't really want to know her future. Truthfully, Mafuyu is terrified of it. She doesn't understand how Kanade is seemingly not stressing over the same thing, turning 18 not long after Mafuyu.
The future is uncertain, and Mafuyu doesn't like not knowing
She's terrified of all the possibilities. Of her mother. Of being a doctor, being a nurse, or being nothing. Terrified to see if she's even alive. She wants to be, she doesn't think her friends would ever forgive her otherwise.
She takes a deep breath, her brain goes to Kanade in the next room over.
While Ena would be the kind to never truly forgive her, and Mizuki is the kind to be understanding of the situation, Kanade is the one who's the most volatile. After losing so much, Kanade holds Nightcord at 25:00 in a tight grip. Mafuyu finds that grip warm, as if her life matters to someone else. She guesses it does matter to them.
She gets up from her bed, making a conscious effort to not drag her feet, going to Kanade's room and knocking.
“Kanade!” She calls, before just opening the door anyways. The girl should still be at her computer right now, with headphones on, so she can't hear.
As she opens the door, the light from the hallway makes Kanade turn. Her head falls to the side like a confused dog when she sees Mafuyu.
“Can't sleep?”
Mafuyu shakes her head, taking the few sheet papers from Kanade's bed (Honami was there today, so it's less messy than the usual) up to the desk and falls on the soft mattress.
“I do not believe my future will be as pleasant as Ena's seem to be.” Mafuyu says, Kanade hums in answer.
“I hope it will be.” She smiles, and Mafuyu feels warm inside.
She closes her eyes. Near the other girl, sleep always comes easier.
As she enters her slumber, she feels the bed dip at her side, and a warm body close.
—
Her eyes open just as easily as they closed, looking up at the same ceiling. But even though the alarm rings on her ears, Mafuyu does not want to get out of bed.
Even though the room around her is the same, there are some key differences.
The alarm, for example, is not the sound of Kanade's nor her own. Nor was her phone in this room to begin with, and Kanade doesn't use an alarm in the morning.
Secondly, the curtain is open, and the sun shines on her eyes. Kanade never leaves her blinds open.
Thirdly, the room doesn't look as messy as usual.
And honestly, the most important: there are two bodies between her and Kanade.
Mafuyu looks down at one of the toddlers. They should be around two years old, if her guess is correct.
The children look the same as each other, but different from Kanade and herself. Their hair is a dark blue, and their skin is tanned in comparison to hers and Kanade's (although.. everyone looks tan in comparison to Kanade).
They're.. cute, she guesses. It makes her feel kind of warm, even if she doesn't know why.
“Alarm off.” One of the children say, and Mafuyu blinks, remembering the thing blasting on her ears and turning it off.
But it was too late, the toddler's eyes are already on her. It's a similar shade of blue as the top of Mafuyu's eyes, and darker than Kanade's.
“Hiii!” The child says, sitting up and yawning, and Mafuyu blinks.
“Good morning.”
“Wake up mama?” they point at Kanade, at which Mafuyu dumbly nods.
With a few pokes, Kanade is awake, reaching over the children to kiss Mafuyu's cheek. The purple girl's eyes widen as her cheeks fill with warmth.
“Happy birthday.” Kanade smiles, before her own eyes widen. “Ah, right, 18?”
Mafuyu nods.
“Papa's birthday?” The kid asks and Mafuyu's ears rush at what they called her.
She never thought she could be called anything other than mom if she eventually had kids, which she also never thought about before. Maybe she could be a more understanding mother than her own, but it is scary to have someone else's life be dependent on yours.
“Yes, how about you wake up Hikaru and we make her breakfast in bed before I take you to play at Akiyama’s house?” Kanade offers to the child, who instantly starts shaking their sibling.
Ah. The Akiyama’s. So Ena took Mizuki's last name… fitting. Mafuyu guesses that's why Ena seems so happy recently. Their flirting was just as unbearable when they didn't date yet to now.
As the other child wakes up, Mafuyu notices a few of their differences. Their nose is not quite the same, and their hair have different lengths, but they're undoubtedly twins.
They rush over to the kitchen, Kanade stopping at the door. Mafuyu suddenly notices her hair is shorter, at shoulder length right now.
“We can talk if you want, but only after I take them to Ena and Mizuki, for now just… try to wrap your head around this.”
She gets up and stretches after Kanade leaves the room, at least wanting to change out of her pajamas.
She stops at the closet’s door, looking at herself and feeling a disconnection to the person in the mirror.
To be fair, it's not a new sensation, she usually feels this disconnection. It's just wild when her hair normally hits her midback but now it's at the back of her neck. Mafuyu blinks and the reflection blinks back.
Okay, that explains why the child called her a dad. She also looks stronger, her muscles (that she knows were already there from archery) are more defined, and her chin is more prominent, but overall… she looks the same.
And she's glad that, with her hair short like this, she looks more like her dad than her mother.
She quickly changes clothing, but before she joins them at the kitchen breakfast comes in the form of Kanade holding a plate and the pair of twins rushing in front of her, she guesses she spent more time looking at the mirror than she thought.
The kids walk funny still, it's kind of cute.
“Happy bir’day” One of them (the one she doesn't know the name of) latches onto her leg, and Mafuyu pats them.
“Thanks.” She says, sitting back at the bed.
“Acting funny!” They say and move back to pull at Kanade's shirt, Mafuyu stares at Kanade who shrugs smiling.
She does feel bad eating while Kanade rushes to help the kids get ready, but to be fair, Mafuyu has no idea of how to deal with children, her closest experience to that being made in Good Girl mode, and using that mode at home doesn't feel right.
She has the time to herself, and washes the dishes, while Kanade takes the kids out. They're Mizuki and Ena's problem now.
She also thinks, a lot, mostly about how she presents right now. Apparently, she uses masculine pronouns, and she knows Mizuki's old secret, but is it really what she wants now? Will it be something she wants later? Or does she like it even now?
Not only that, but there's also the kids, the fact that she is apparently a thing with Kanade, and the issue in the front of her mind.
Her Mother, and her current career.
Washing the dishes did not work as a distraction from her thoughts, so she walks around the living room. Her head feels lighter without all that hair, but she doesn't know what to feel about anything.
She stops at a portrait, the only thing she feels fully warm about. It's Nightcord, clearly older, she doesn't think Ena had ever had such a long hair before, and she likes the smile on Mizuki's face, it feels warm and real.
The next photo has nightcord again, plus a baby with pink hair, clearly an Akiyama, Mafuyu can see the typical pink eyelash, but there's Ena on those fiery baby eyes.
Mafuyu doesn't realize she's smiling at that moment, despite her weird feelings about it, she's clearly happier.
She wants to be happier.
That's when Kanade gets back, opening the front door and smiling in a way that makes Mafuyu's knees weak when the girl notices what Mafuyu is looking at.
“What are you thinking about?”
Mafuyu spares a look at the clock nearby, there's still a lot of time left until midday when she gets back to her own body.
“Us, all of us.” She specifies, after knowing they're apparently a thing it's better to be specific. “This picture looks warm.”
Kanade stands by her side, nodding.
“Some days are hard, but therapy helps.”
Mafuyu hums, acknowledging that. Huh, she guesses that all of them do need it.
“Do you have any questions?” Kanade asks, and Mafuyu hesitates.
“I don't know.” Mafuyu doesn't know what to ask, nor does she even know if she wants the answer.
“How about we start with something easy?” Kanade asks instead, holding her by the hand and sitting down at the couch, Mafuyu joins her.
“Ena and Mizuki have been married for the longest out of us, their child is very well, although Mizuki doesn't want me to tell you her name.”
Mafuyu raises her eyebrow, but she nods.
Kanade hesitates next, but she eventually pats Mafuyu's hair.
“About this… I'm afraid you have to tell me the answer yourself, I can't tell you what to be.”
Mafuyu appreciates that, so she lets out the breath she's been holding, her shoulders relaxing alongside it.
“I don't know how I feel about it, but I don't mind my appearance, nor being called a dad.”
Kanade's smile feels like sunshine on a winter afternoon, warm, but not overbearing, chill, but not freezing cold.
Mafuyu wants more of it.
“As to us two… I think you know.”
She does, it's the only explanation that makes sense, after raising two children and living together even after adulthood.
“We're married?” She asks, but it's not really a question.
“Mhm, eventually we do marry.”
Mafuyu understands what she means, there is really no rush to understand her feelings, but Mafuyu does know that Kanade makes her heart melt, so does she even mind? Currently not.
Kanade is doing her best to not make it look like she's forcing anything on Mafuyu, be it her own feelings from the future or what she could be.
She knows that, with Kanade, there is no pressure, she also wonders if the future could ever be changed. Maybe not, maybe she just gets context as life goes on, maybe she just changes as a person. Or maybe it could. But should she work towards this future or against it? She's clearly happy, but she doesn't like destiny that much.
That said…. She wouldn't be this happy if she was a doctor, so she actually has one question.
“Am I a nurse?”
“Yes, and for us, the best one there is.” Kanade kisses her cheek.
Mafuyu feels a strange feeling wash over her, maybe that's what relief is?
“.. not a doctor.” She says, and Kanade nods.
“You’re not a doctor, and you won't be. You don't need to be what she wants, you don't even need to be what I want.
“I know.” Mafuyu feels her lips quirk up a bit, this time, she knows she's smiling.
“.. I don't know if I want kids either?”
“Yeah, you were really conflicted. I wanted kids and you were confused, eventually we decided to adopt, after a few talks.”
“Am I.. good for them?”
“Yes.” The answer is immediate.
Mafuyu nods.
There is one thing she was also worried about. Her parents. Does she still talk to them? Does she even want to know? She guesses that she talks to her dad, but her mom? Both answers are scary, and right now she is calm, she doesn't want to be set off.
“I have no more questions” is what she decides on, and Kanade understands.
Kanade gets her help on a few songs until their time is up, believing Mafuyu's mental state to be refreshing again. Mafuyu doesn't argue, she's fine where she is.
—
When Mafuyu wakes up again, the body at her side is Kanade's, the kids are nowhere near them.
Mafuyu hugs Kanade, bringing her closer.
But there is no hurry to her movements, there is no rush to anything.
The future will come, and she feels warm as she is.