Archive of Our Own ^beta

The sound of crying is what awakens Sephiroth, something that has become his new ordinary. Only, after sitting up and pushing the comforter away, does he realize that along with one of the triplets’ crying, he can hear you, sniffling and seemingly choking back sobs.

He rushes out of bed and over to where you sit on the floor, holding one of the three silver-haired boys in your arms. He kneels to get closer to your level and puts one hand on your shoulder, the other gently holding your face. He says your name, concern heavy in his tone. “What’s the matter? Are you alright?”

You shake your head, wiping your tears against your sleeve. “I don’t know…” you lightly gasp, sucking in air as you try to breathe. “I’m just so… overwhelmed.”

“I know. It’s okay,” Sephiroth says, hugging you as best as he can with one of your sons between the two of you. “Do you want me to take him?” He asks, after pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You nod, carefully allowing Sephiroth to take the last-born of your three triplets, Kadaj, into his arms. You take one big, deep breath, and slowly release it, your shuddered breathing slowly turning even again. Wiping the last of the tears with the backs of your hands this time, you look up at Sephiroth, who looks so comically large with such a tiny baby in his arms. It’s a sight you’ve seen endlessly over the last three months- and yet your heart melts every time. 

Looking to your husband’s face, you notice that the nervous expression he typically wears whenever he holds the boys is turning to one that holds more certainty. Sephiroth had almost never been around children before you’d become pregnant, and had definitely never been around infants; so naturally, he was incredibly scared. He’d been terrified of holding them when they were first born, the thought of accidentally harming them clouding his mind. It was so bad he’d stay completely frozen while holding them, a sight that made you laugh, while reminding him that babies liked light movement. With your help, though, he was starting to get over that fear. 

You almost don’t even realize that Kadaj had stopped crying- until you hear him cooing at Sephiroth, a tiny hand reaching up to grab at his father’s long hair. Your eyes widen with delight, and for a moment, it’s like you were never overwhelmed or anxious at all. You scoot over and lean on Sephiroth, smiling. “Seph, look! He stopped crying with you holding him,” you almost want to cry. All three of the boys were very attached to you, which was to be expected, but sometimes the level of their attachment felt extreme. Kadaj in particular, had always seemed to refuse to stop fussing until he was in your arms; like he didn’t want anyone but you, his mother. 

“So he did…” Sephiroth breathes, also staring with widened eyes, his typically thin pupils a little wider. 

You rest your head against Sephiroth, closing your eyes for a brief moment as you start to feel tears threaten to fall. Seeing any of your boys calm and happy brought you joy, but seeing Kadaj actually smiling at Sephiroth made you so overcome with happiness you couldn’t help but weep.

For a moment, it’s peaceful. You both continue to watch Kadaj as he falls back asleep, one of your hands weakly running through Sephiroth’s hair. You’re just about to close your eyes and slumber again when one of the other triplets starts crying. 

You throw your head back, but only a heavy sigh leaves your lips. Getting up, you find that it’s Loz- by far the fussiest of the three- who’s crying. You scoop him into your arms and go to rejoin Sephiroth, before noticing that Yazoo is also awake- but he’s staying quiet. His eyes, that look so similar to Sephiroth’s, are open and he’s looking at his surroundings up until your head peers over his crib, and his gaze locks onto you, a small smile appearing on his tiny lips. 

You smile back at him, “looks like you’re all ready to get up then, hm?” 

Carefully, you move Loz to one arm and use the other to pick up Yazoo. You place a kiss against both of their foreheads as you carry them over to the spot on the floor where Sephiroth sits with Kadaj. 

“I’ll watch them,” Sephiroth looks pointedly at you. “You need to rest. I can tell.”

“Are you sure? Let me get Loz to calm down, at least…”

Sephiroth nods, putting a sleeping Kadaj back into his crib before taking Yazoo from you. 

Rocking back and forth, you quietly shush and hum at Loz, trying to see if maybe he just wanted to be held- but he doesn’t calm down. “I think he’s hungry,” you say, figuring it’s about time for the three to be fed anyway. 

“There’s bottles in the kitchen. I’ll feed him and Yazoo so that you can sleep without any more delays,” Sephiroth replies. 

You figure that there’s no point in arguing with him. Sephiroth had been incredibly attentive, and other than in the very beginning, he would not take “no” for an answer when it came to offering you more time to rest. 

“Okay… but wake me up if you need help, promise?”

“I promise I will,” Sephiroth gives you a teasing smirk. “Now hand him over.”

You give Loz one more forehead-kiss before passing him over to Sephiroth, who you share a slightly extended kiss with. Afterwards, you whisper a quick “I love you” and stand up to return to bed. 

When you wake up, the room is much brighter than it was before- in fact, it’s so bright, it can’t be earlier than midday. 

You stretch as you sit up in bed, eyes instantly looking to the three cribs against the other wall, all of which are empty. Sephiroth must’ve come and gotten Kadaj at some point, then. 

Even knowing that your babies were completely safe and well cared for with their father, you still rushed to get yourself ready for the day, changing out the pajamas you currently wore for a cleaner set, brushing your teeth and whatever else you could do within five minutes. 

Rushing out of the bedroom, you find Sephiroth and the triplets in the living room, the boys laid on their stomachs while Sephiroth sits next to them, keeping a close eye on each of them. 

“Ah. Mama’s finally here,” Sephiroth says, an even smile on his face. 

“How long did I sleep for?” You asked, quickly situating yourself on the rug across from Sephiroth. 

“Quite some time. It’s almost ten,” he answers.

“Ten?!” You echo. You’d previously woken up around four in the morning, meaning you’d actually gotten six hours of uninterrupted sleep. That was a lot of time, no? Swallowing your anxieties about being able to sleep so long without even stirring due to your constant worry over the boys’ wellbeing, you ask, “how are they?”

“Good. Kadaj was a bit upset when I brought him out and he realized you were nowhere to be found,” Sephiroth replied. “But Loz did calm down after being fed, and Yazoo’s barely been fussy at all.”

And almost as though he could understand, Kadaj began weakly crying, and you hastily picked him up, cradling him close to your chest. “Did you miss me, sweet boy?” You whispered, kissing his forehead, and as you did so, his crying began to cease.

“Such a mama’s boy,” Sephiroth chuckled.

“So are you,” you banter, playfully. “God… they’re so much like you, even at such a young age.”

“I’m aware,” Sephiroth then sighs, “I think we both know why, though.”

“I know… it’s still just so weird… having three tiny Sephiroth’s ‘n all.”

That makes Sephiroth laugh, and so you giggle too, “it’s true though! They all look exactly like you, like I don’t even see an ounce of myself in them.”

“They’re infants, love,” Sephiroth then shakes his head. “I’m sure you’ll see yourself in them more as they age.”

“I guess…” 

As you continue to cradle Kadaj close to you, the other two slowly begin to take notice, their big eyes glancing up at you and Sephiroth. Yazoo doesn’t really make any noise, but his face is scrunched up with his mouth open like he wants to cry, and Loz immediately starts to cry, wails echoing through the room.

“I can’t hold all three of you at once, I’m sorry,” you whine, shuffling over to the couch. “Can you bring them over, Seph?”

He instantly obliges, scooping up both boys and bringing them over to where you now sit on the couch, semi-leaned back to give the boys more room. You have Kadaj laid in one arm, and so Sephiroth lays Loz in your other arm, before carefully placing Yazoo in the middle, snuggled between his two brothers. Their weight on you feels unreal- they’ve grown so big in the last three months that you can hardly believe they were once all in your womb. The thought makes you want to join in on the crying- but you instead smile, looking up at Sephiroth, who then kneels in front of you, trying to comfort the boys.

He catches your eye- and returns your smile. “I still can’t believe how lucky I am,” he says, smoothly. “Although I certainly couldn’t have predicted that we’d have triplets… I got the normal life I always wished for.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “It’s so crazy looking back now. How we were both so scared to be having a child… and then finding out there would be three…”

“I don’t regret any of it, though. Even with the chaos they bring,” he kisses each of their foreheads, before capturing your lips with his own. 

As he pulls away, you glance down to the babies and find they’re all content again. All three are cuddled up, tears dried and faces no longer scrunched up or red. 

“Seph, take a photo,” you request, “Who knows when the next time we’ll be able to get them all like this is.” 

Sephiroth goes to grab the camera you’d bought right before they were born, as you didn’t want to risk anyone -mainly Shinra- getting ahold of any photos of the boys through your phones. And he moves with haste, knowing you’re right; it’s rare to get them all happy or quiet- usually at least one is crying if the other two aren’t. 

With superhuman speed, Sephiroth returns and angles the camera far away enough that he can fit all four of you into the frame. You smile and wait for the flash of the camera.

He turns it around to show you the screen, where you can see a glimpse of the photo. You see you and your boys, their tiny faces looking up at the flash of the camera with curiosity, and a little bit of surprise and fear, the ladder mainly being on Loz’s face. 

And you think you’re going to cry, overwhelmed with the joy your sons bring you- and even more so at how good of a father they have. Sephiroth turns the camera back around and looks at the photo, then up at you, he smiles softly and whispers, “so beautiful…” 

It’s then that you do start to cry. He instantly sets the camera down and wipes your tears for you, wordlessly. You smile, leaning into his palm against your cheek. “I love you… so much.”

Carefully, Sephiroth leans over the babies so that his forehead can rest against yours. His lips brush against your own in a slight kiss, and he mumbles, “I love you too.” You blush underneath him, especially at his warm breath fanning against your skin.

You’re about to reconnect your lips, when Sephiroth hisses and pulls away. You both look down to find that Kadaj had grabbed one of his father’s shorter face-framing pieces of hair, and was currently pulling on it.

You laugh as Sephiroth carefully extracts his hair from your son’s grip, “that wasn’t very kind, Kadaj,” he scolds, all while smiling at the boy, who begins to smile in return.

“So mischievous,” you giggle.

“He can’t stand his mommy giving someone else attention, it seems,” Sephiroth remarks. 

“That only makes you sound jealous,” you banter. 

He laughs at that, before finally giving you the kiss you’d wanted. And you melt into him, heart soaring with how much love it holds- so much that you think your brain may begin to melt, too. 

Carrying your nearly one-year old boys into their bedroom, you and Sephiroth are practically scrambling to get all three into their cribs, while also dimming the lights, shutting the curtains, and turning on the noise machine; nap time is quite difficult with triplets, after all.

You enter the room first, Kadaj in your arms, and Sephiroth follows behind you with Yazoo and Loz in his. By now, they’ve grown considerably large. Especially Loz, who’s become adorably chunky. Kadaj however is still the smallest comparatively, and is also still by far the most attached to you. He currently has tiny fistfuls of your shirt in his grip, his little frame clinging to you as he curls up against your chest, wanting to stay close to you. Getting him to lay down for a nap has always been much more challenging than the other two. 

While Sephiroth lays the other two in their cribs, you sway back and forth, hoping Kadaj will simply fall asleep in your arms so that you can sneakily get him into his crib. But he’s relentless, fighting sleep with determination you’d never expect from a boy his age. 

“You just need to let him cry it out,” Sephiroth says, approaching you. 

“And have him disturb Yazoo and Loz? I’d rather deal with one fussy baby than three.” You reply, nuzzling your cheek against Kadaj’s head. 

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re more attached than he is,” a chuckle comes from Sephiroth, low and quiet. It makes your heart flutter.

“No, trust me- I want this nap time more than they do,” you sigh, deciding to just give into Sephiroth’s suggestion. “If I put him down and he screams, you’re gonna soothe the other two.”

“Of course,” he nods. 

And you don’t doubt that he will- Sephiroth has been nothing but perfect as a father. But you really don’t want to listen to three crying babies. 

The second you approach Kadaj’s crib and try to lower him, he begins squirming, doing everything he can to bury himself deeper against you. “He’s gonna cry,” you say.

“He’ll be perfectly fine,” Sephiroth shakes his head. 

Kadaj begins to whine and fuss as you pull him from where he’d been snuggled against you, and when you place him in the crib, he gives you the saddest look ever- one strong enough you almost weep at the sight of it. And then you wait.

Not even three seconds go by when his little mouth opens wide, his eyes scrunch up and- “mama!” 

Kadaj lets out the loudest wail he can muster while screaming for you, grabbing at the crib’s bars to stand himself up. Your heart breaks, and you go to reach for him when Sephiroth places his hands on your shoulders. “Leave him, he’ll be okay.”

“But he looks so sad,” you frown. “I can’t bare to see it-“

Sephiroth firmly says your name, gently pulling you back. “Then let’s go, look- Yazoo and Loz haven’t even noticed.”

Defeated, you go with Sephiroth despite Kadaj continuing to wail “mama”. He shuts the door behind you, leading you back to the living room. You sit on the couch, anxiety and melancholy swirling inside of you as you listen to your baby’s faint cries from the other room. Sephiroth, who had gone to the kitchen to presumably make you both something for lunch, pauses and looks at you, a saddened expression forming on his face. He backtracks over to you and kneels. 

“You’re worrying about them too much, love. They’re going to be alright, I promise,” he gently says, running a hand through your hair soothingly.

“I know,” you whisper, afraid of crying over something so silly. “But I hate being away from them.” 

“They’re just over in the other room,” Sephiroth kisses your forehead. “They’re not going anywhere.”

A tear slips down your cheek, “I just feel like it was easier when they were still in me,” you begin to break. “I worried then, but… they were at least with me at all times.”

He says your name again, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I know you can’t help that you’re hyper aware of their well-being, but you need to allow time for just yourself.” 

“I guess so,” you shrug. “But I-“

“Shh,” he soothes, sitting on the couch beside you and carefully pulling you into an embrace. You turn to face Sephiroth, wrapping your arms around him as you slowly go sideways, laying down together.

Other than your sniffles that you poorly attempt to conceal, the room is quiet. You barely even register that Kadaj has stopped crying, at least not until Sephiroth says something. “He’s being quiet now. He’s okay.”

“I… yeah. He’s okay,” you echo, just to reassure yourself a slight bit more.

Sephiroth kisses your head again, and you lean into him, burying your face into his neck. You place a slow kiss against his skin, finding that you too are calming down. Your heart rate steadies, and your breathing slows to a regular pace. You listen to Sephiroth’s heart beat, finding that it helps ease your anxieties and comforts you. You briefly wonder if the boys feel the same about hearing your heart beat, and the thought makes you feel a bit more cheerful. Still, there’s one last thing your mind dwells on, and so you find yourself saying the words before you can even consider them:

“Seph, do… do you think I’m a good mother?”

There’s a pause to his breathing, and he inhales deeply before answering, like he’s trying to find the right words to use. “I know you are. If you weren’t, those boys wouldn’t be so obsessed with you.”

“Hmm, I guess that’s true,” you mumble, a small smile forming on your lips. “I just… worry about that, too.”

“That’s okay,” he breathes, “I don’t think it’s uncommon among new mothers.”

“…I know. I still can’t help but to think about it, though.”

Another kiss to your head. “We all have our own things we dwell on. But truly,” he says your name, voice ever-so-slightly more serious, “you’re the perfect mother to them. They’re lucky- as am I- to have someone like you.”

His words make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and you squeeze him just a little bit tighter. “Thanks, Seph. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he whispers, placing one final kiss against your temple. You continue to listen to his heart beat, and allow your lashes to flutter closed, deciding that you need a nap as well.

A cry awakens you, your frame startling against Sephiroth. You try to sit up, but he holds you down. “I’ll go, you continue to rest,” he firmly says, carefully getting up and placing you back against the couch. 

You don’t even fight him. Instead you rest your head against the plush pillows and try to fight sleep to make sure everything’s alright, but alas, slumber wins the battle.

The second time you awaken, there’s a weight on your chest. You slowly open your eyes, wiping them with the tips of your index fingers. The first thing you see is Kadaj, curled up against you. You instinctively place a hand on his back, and he barely stirs, wiggling himself closer against you. His soft, silver hair, that’s started to grow in a lot more as of recently, brushes against the skin of your collarbones as he snuggles in. You want to tilt your head down and kiss his head, but the urge to not wake him up is stronger.

You hear a soft chuckle, and find that Sephiroth sits in one of the plush side-chairs nearby, watching you.

“The other two are still sleeping. Kadaj woke up and refused to calm down until I told him that ‘we’d go find mama’,” he explains, referencing the crying that had very briefly awoken you before.

“Have you been watching this whole time?” You ask, looking back to your slumbering baby.

“I have,” he evenly replies. 

“…of course,” you smile at the idea of him just sitting, watching- almost like a cat would. “How long has it been?”

“Not even two hours. I actually need to go get Loz and Yazoo before it gets too late,” Sephiroth stands up, but doesn’t leave the room without kneeling in front of you to connect your lips with his, followed by a small kiss against Kadaj’s head.

Again, that warm, fuzzy tingling feeling stirs within you. Sephiroth has been so gentle and sweet to you and the boys for the last nearly-two years that you can hardly believe he used to be the world’s strongest SOLDIER before you’d become pregnant. Even back then he was amazing to you, but the level of domesticity and tenderness wasn’t nearly on par with how he is now. But you never faulted him- back then, he simply wasn’t allowed to have the time to dedicate his life to you like this. 

A moment later, Sephiroth emerges from the hallway with your other two boys in each arm. Their eyes instantly land on you, locked onto you like you’re the only thing in this world that matters. Yazoo, hair tangled and sticking up at odd angles, begins to squirm in Sephiroth’s hold, reaching a hand out for you. Loz on the other hand, simply sucks on his thumb, scrunching his eyes up like he’s about to cry. 

Sephiroth brings them to the couch with haste, an attempt to avoid anymore crying fits for the evening. You slowly, carefully sit up, holding Kadaj close to you so that he isn’t woken. He does a small stretching motion, then yawns, but is otherwise undisturbed. 

“Ma…mama,” Yazoo reaches for you, and your heart skips a beat at the adorable sight in front of you. 

His lip is tucked like he’s sad, but he otherwise doesn’t cry, simply continues to hold his arms out for you. With one arm, you bring him closer and sit him in your lap. Once he’s settled, you attempt to brush through his messy hair with your fingers. Of the three, he has the most hair by far; you can see him rivaling Sephiroth in terms of best hair once he’s older.

“Why didn’t your father brush through your hair, hmm?” You teasingly say, finally smoothing out his hair. “Of all people, he should know how important it is…”

“Hush,” Sephiroth banters with you. “He’s been awake for maybe thirty seconds. Half a minute of tangled hair won’t hurt him.”

You laugh. “I know, love. I’m just teasing you.”

“Hmph.”

Once Loz realizes Kadaj and Yazoo are both with you and he isn’t, he starts to cry again. You sigh but smile. “Swap with me?” You nod to Kadaj, and Sephiroth obliges. He carefully extracts Kadaj from where he still sleeps against your chest, and sits Loz beside Yazoo in your lap. 

You gently pinch at one of Loz’s chubby cheeks, smiling at him and cooing, “did you miss me, big guy?”

He giggles, patting his hands against your leg as you continue to dote on him, nuzzling your nose against his head and kissing him. You do the same to Yazoo a few seconds later, who squeals with delight and places his tiny palms on either side of your face. You laugh with them, scooping both into your arms and pulling them against you as you lay back down. 

Almost as if he can sense that his brothers are receiving your attention while he’s not, Kadaj wakes with a whine, kicking against his onesie in Sephiroth’s arms; who tries to shush him, but you know it won’t do any good.

“Just give him to me,” you offer, sitting back up. “We can move to the floor so that there’s more space.”

“Alright. I’ll start on dinner, then.” Sephiroth moves Kadaj to one arm and helps you and the other two get to the soft rug that covers your living room, before passing off Kadaj into your arms. 

You hold him close, swaying back and forth to help soothe him. “Shh, shh, I’ve got you,” you say, pressing light kisses to his nose. 

Once he’s calm, you sit him in your lap, and start playing with all three of them, alternating between sensory toys and reading children’s books to them. 

And as Sephiroth cooks dinner for the five of you, you occasionally catch his gaze on you, observing you and your sons with a soft expression on his face; like he’s experiencing that same heart-tingling feeling you had earlier.