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Nightmares were something he was used to. Since that day, not a single night has he dreamt about running in endless green fields, to play chess with his father, to eat sweets with happiness and joy - all dreams a kid should have been able to make.
He was no kid, not anymore; not after that day, that day that brought all his happiness away. He kept dreaming about the day, like his life ended in the moment he made a contract with a devil itself.
Counting years was meaningless when your life couldn't have been longer than the one of a dog. Hours, moments and victories were all the things he needed to care about to measure time, since the last second of his life he would have reached his highest moment ever, his ultimate victory - his revenge.
Nightmares were something he was used to now, but that didn't mean he slept well at night, without waking up with the sweat covering his temples and his hands shaking while holding the sheets. That night was no different, and maybe, the worst he had in a while.
“You called, my Lord?”
The demon approached him with that smile on his face, a smile that resembled anything but human thoughtfulness.
He called? He didn't know - when you’re dreaming about having blood filling your mouth, your guts and your eyes, you barely think about what you are saying. Maybe he did, once again, without thinking that the name he was calling for salvation was the one of the devil.
Ciel pulled himself up and sat on his bed, gazing at his butler within a cold stare.
“I’m getting tired of waking up every night.” he shared out quietly.
He held his face on the right side, feeling his head too heavy to stay up by itself, the right eye filled up with blood and willing to break free from his skull.
“Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe a cup of milk and honey could help you to catch some sleep?”
There was a strange hint of gentleness in his words whenever he talked to him. It was artificial, like were all the appearances Sebastian kept on so well.
For anyone else, that scene would have looked like a simple butler comforting his Master with care and attention, but Ciel knew well it wasn't the case. No, they both knew it wasn't the case.
“No, I feel like puking right now. That won't be of any help.” the Earl sighed, pulling himself down on his bed once again.
His eyes closed, but his frowning expression didn't curve in relaxment for sleep. And how could he?
He dreamt about the first time he met Sebastian, or whichever was the name he was going by before. He dreamt about the altar, the people taking advantage of him, the blood covering his limbs, his face, his hands, the bloody knife in his hands, the ring of his father on his finger. He kept dreaming that moment every night, getting worse and more vivid every time his eyes closed. In those moments, his heart started beating so fast, the blood pumping hard in his veins, the asthma seizing his breath away and blood coming out of his mouth as he choked - and then, he woke up.
He felt like he was going insane.
All that warm blood covering his body had disappeared, and only a cold veil of sadness covered his limbs.
“Sebastian.” he called for him once again.
The butler had remained silent and in place, gazing at his Master with curious eyes, waiting for an order.
Ciel turned around on his bed to face him, staring deep into his red eyes.
“Stay with me until I fall asleep.”
“As you wish, my Lord.” he slipped out gently, pulling himself up. But his Master had not finished his request, or at least, Sebastian didn't seem to have quite caught what it was.
“Stay in bed with me until I fall asleep.”
The red eyes widened at the sudden request, seeing the straight face of his Lord staring holes into his figure. A giggle couldn't help to escape from his lungs.
“I don't think the young Master will be any comfortable with someone like me in his bed.”
“Are you deaf? Come here, I said.” the Earl sighed, seeing how much time that simple thing it was taking. “I don't like to repeat myself.”
“Fine.”
The butler folded his coat and left it on a side along his shoes before pulling the sheets and searching for a place to lay on.
Sebastian was the first person he could rely on, the only one that would have come to save him even at the top of the world. Only Hell had listened to his prayers, and that was the result.
He could make the impossible become reality, chasing the shadows in his heart. Oh, but they didn't fade away, neither God would have had the power to change the past, and everything Sebastian could do was assuring that the nefarious mist didn't obscure the light of his heart. Was that the light the demon craved, the reason why he was laying there by his side.
Ciel got closer to him, pressing his head against his large chest. It felt cold, somehow, as he held the fabric of his shirt as he was searching for warmth in between his arms.
“My my, what’s with you today, young Master? You really act like a child.” he chuckled, caressing his dark hair.
Ciel didn't answer that, limiting himself to tightening the grip on his shirt.
“Will it hurt?”
He lifted up his head, gazing at his butler for a moment. He wanted to see his face as he told him so, he wanted to see which kind of expression Sebastian would have made.
An arm came to hold him closer, clutching his claws around his body and englobe him to a hug.
“Yes, a little. I can’t deny it.”
A smile curved his lips as their gazes crossed, but Ciel didn't find that same smile he was used to seeing. Maybe Sebastian was hiding his bloodlust better this time, since he would have never believed there was any in his eyes, but that smile felt reassuring, somehow.
He was a devil after all, he knew damn well what he needed in his moments of major weakness.
Oh, and of course that would have hurted. He was just asking to be sure, but if the path he had chosen was so full of obstacles and sorrows, the arrival couldn't have been painless at all. He already knew that, but…
A pair of lips pressed softly against his forehead, making him lose his train of thought. A warm kiss that could heat him up from the inside, chasing all the cold away as those arms gently tightened the grip around his body.
Ciel lifted up his gaze once again, confused by the sudden act.
“But think of it more like a kiss. You’ll close your eyes one day, and everything will be alright.”
A kiss, yes. That might have been it. It was truly something worthy of the devil making the most atrocious of the acts look like the sweetest of them all.
His blue and purple eyes posed on the figure of the demon, the fine lineaments enlightened by the light of the moon shining upon them.
His hands trailed from his chest to his face, holding his cheek as he stared deep into his bloody red eyes.
“Any other request, my Lord?” he spoke softly, caressing his back with gentle touches.
Ciel looked at him for a moment before enduring in any act, pushing his head on his cheek, his neck, asking for kisses onto his cold skin. He didn't have to say a word that his butler understood his request, leaving small and warm kisses on the tip of his nose, his temples, his left cheek, getting down from his chin to his neck, holding him closer and tighter the more kisses he gave.
Ciel pondered his actions well before acting, searching for the eyes of the demon to look at his. He pressed himself into his chest, whispering his name into his ear, his short arms wrapped around his neck.
"Apologies, I didn't know when I was supposed to stop.” Sebastian whispered, pressing his forehead against the one of his Lord.
But that was no problem.
It took a moment for Ciel to push himself against him, to press his lips onto the one of the demon, cold as Death itself.
His red eyes widened at the sudden act, taking him by the sweetest of the surprises. His lips became warm as long as their breath mixed the one with the other, as he held his Lord closer into his arms and kissed him back, gently.
“Don't ever leave me, Sebastian. Stay with me until the sun is up.” he whispered out, between a kiss and another.
Sebastian was the first person he could rely on, and yet the first one to crave for his fall. He knew that too well, but he didn't care now. It was something he was aware of, but something that couldn't have hurt him as well: Sebastian still was his loyal butler, entitled to protect him at all costs, to protect him from the devil he was itself.
“You don’t have to worry, my Lord. I’ll stay with you until the very end.”