Chapter Text
The room is shrouded in dimness. Only the star-shaped lights faintly illuminate the walls, casting the shadows of two figures moving in the center.
—You’re adorable —Rin says softly, slowly positioning himself over him
His knees are on either side of his body. His hands carefully seek one of Nanase’s and guide it to his cheek.
Rin’s skin is warm and soft. He likes that. He likes everything about Rin.
—Look at me —he orders without raising his voice
Nanase obeys.
He opens his eyes, still heavy with exhaustion, and fixes them on Rin’s.
They are the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. He could sink into them and never come up.
Heat rises to his face. His cheeks burn, and he narrows his eyes.
—You… don’t usually say things like that
His fingers tremble against Rin’s cheek. Under that gaze, he feels like he’s soaring.
—With you… it’s different —Rin tilts his head, as if he himself doubts his words
And then he kisses his hand. It’s not a real kiss, just a brush. But that doesn’t stop Nanase’s heart from leaping.
—I don’t know why —Rin continues, his voice dropping even lower—but with you, it’s different. I want to see your smile. Smile for me, come on
Nanase looks at him, his eyes shimmering.
Rin is his god. His universe. His savior.
Every word he says, every command he gives, should be enough to make him happy.
So he tries. And he smiles.
It’s a small, trembling smile.
To Rin, it’s utterly adorable.
—Rin-san… —he whispers. The taller boy leans closer. Now their breaths mingle
—Look at you —Rin says, almost like a sweet mockery— You look so small and fragile. I could crush you if I wanted to
His hands slide to Nanase’s shoulders, gripping them firmly.
He leans even closer, his lips grazing Nanase’s ear.
—I want to take everything from you —he says— That’s okay, right? Because you said you were mine. My property
Nanase doesn’t respond right away. Shame flushes his face, and he lowers his gaze, but he doesn’t deny anything.
He’s always been fascinated by Rin’s calm way of saying what he thinks without ever altering his expression.
—It’s okay, Rin-san —he finally responds— Everything you want… it’s okay
Rin narrows his eyes.
—Even if it means I could break you completely? That I could destroy you just by wanting to possess you entirely?
Nanase laughs. It’s a soft, unexpected laugh that fills the silence of the room.
Rin blinks, bewildered. He doesn’t understand the reaction but doesn’t bother to ask.
He only watches as Nanase extends his hands and, with delicate care, guides Rin’s head to rest against his neck.
—That’s your nature, Rin-san —he whispers— And I… I’m okay with that
Rin tenses for a moment but doesn’t pull away. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to.
He feels his own breath brush against Nanase’s soft skin.
The room falls silent again.
Words, after all, aren’t what keep people together.
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The stage is covered in flickering white lights that mimic falling snow.
It feels cold. Or at least he thinks it does.
Maybe it's the atmosphere, the lights or maybe it's him.
Maybe it’s always been him.
The floor gleams with a metallic finish, distorting the reflections of the two silhouettes moving toward the center.
Everything feels like an illusion, almost like a dream.
The audience watches them expectantly, cheering things he can’t quite make out.
Nanase hears it all as if it’s coming from very far away.
Beside him, Rin walks with certainty, dressed in a black, form-fitting suit. The silver accents shimmer under the lights. A light cape hangs from one shoulder, swaying to its own rhythm.
He looks like a prince.
No... he is a prince.
In contrast, Nanase wears white.
His outfit is simple, but the golden embroidery along the cuffs and chest gives it a delicate touch. The sleeves are slightly translucent, and a white ribbon tied at his neck flutters with the gentle breeze.
It almost makes him look innocent.
It’s funny , he wonders if there’s still any of that left in him.
He turns and sees Rin’s eyes drifting somewhere into the crowd. But he knows they aren’t really seeing anything.
He knows that look too well. He’s seen it before enough times that he can now read it perfectly.
They’re only a few steps apart. And yet, they’ve never felt farther away.
His chest aches. It’s not new , it’s a familiar sting that almost makes him want to cry.
Instinctively, he looks for Rin’s gaze, even though he knows he won’t find it.
Not now. Not after what he did.
And that’s okay.
It makes sense that Rin is upset. That he can’t bring himself to look at him.
But he did it for his sake. All of this… is for his sake.
Isn’t it?
His steps feel heavy, and a faint voice in his head begs him to stop.
To run before it’s too late. But it’s already too late. It’s been too late for a long time.
There’s no going back.
And yet… Rin keeps walking beside him. That should be enough. He should feel relieved.
But he doesn’t.
The white lights shine above them like stars. A part of him wants to reach out and hold them.
Stars are beautiful. But if he does, he’ll probably burn his fingers.
All he can do is watch those tiny lights fade before his eyes just like the stars will one day.
And today… he’s decided to be one of those stars.
Because even if stars die… the universe has to keep existing.
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Oh my Clematis
Hope bloomed from the abyss
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The music begins to play. It’s not just any melody; it’s slow and gentle.
Nanase doesn’t sing right away. There’s a moment , barely a few seconds, but long enough to unsettle a couple of spectators in which he hesitates.
His mouth barely opens, then closes, and only then, as if yielding to the pressure, does he let his voice come out.
It sounds muted, timid. It’s not the voice of someone confident, but rather like that of someone who has just woken up.
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Oh my Clematis
Always be by my side
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When his part ends, Rin follows almost instantly. Nanase listens to him, as he always has.
That voice.
So perfect… it’s always been perfect.
Not perfect in the traditional sense, but in a more personal way that sweetened his ears without needing to sing.
Sometimes he’d thought that Rin could break down all his defenses just by saying his name with that voice.
No shouting or anything else was needed; it was enough for Rin to speak his name, for those syllables to leave his mouth, to make him the happiest person in the universe.
And now, there, with all those creatures watching, Nanase can’t help but look at him too.
And yes, he probably looks like an idiot, but it doesn’t matter. He can’t stop himself. He doesn’t want to stop.
And that… hurts.
It shouldn’t hurt like this. It’s not supposed to be that an action like this could cause such a strange pain in his chest.
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You bloomed from
The huge black wall
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Then, surprisingly, Rin looks at him.
Not a glance, but straight into his eyes. The reaction in Nanase’s body is immediate his pulse quickens, and he feels his heart lurch, leaving a tingling sensation in his fingers.
His entire world shrinks to that moment, because there’s something more… something that makes everything else cease to matter.
Rin is smiling. Smiling.
Smiling at him.
Rin always asks him to smile; Nanase doesn’t remember exactly when that habit began. Only that it’s been that way since… forever?
The one time his curiosity was strong enough to ask why, Rin didn’t answer right away. He stared at Nanase for a long minute, then turned his gaze to the night sky and said something in a low voice.
“I don’t know. I feel like your smile… it’s as bright as the stars… but it’s not up there. It’s here, close enough to be just mine, my personal star.”
Yet, the times Nanase had seen Rin smile were so few he could count them on his fingers.
And still, each one was etched into his memory. Like something he could carry with him until the end of his days.
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The galactic starlight
In your eyes spreads out
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A long time ago I had an older brother .We used to be very close.
Before they sent me here, we had one last conversation.
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The music continues, but they’re no longer there. Not on that stage, not under those lights. At least not for Nanase.
Without realizing it, they’ve isolated themselves in their own bubble where it’s just the two of them. Even time seems to have slowed down.
He barely feels the weight of his own body. For some reason, the atmosphere has grown warmer now. His eyes can only see Rin, see his reflection in those aquamarine eyes, and lose himself in that beautiful smile.
A smile that isn’t wide or ostentatious, but it’s for him, and therefore it’s perfect.
Sometimes he wonders how they reached this point. How he went from being just another object in his guardian’s vast collection to standing here, in front of someone who gave him back something as simple and yet as vital as the desire to keep existing. Because he knows that at the end of the day, he can find refuge in the arms of the person he loves.
Remembering the early years he spent with Rin comforts him. Not because they were easy, but because back then everything seemed… simpler.
As if, upon meeting each other, all his problems, in his view, became more...bearable.
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In the endless darkness
I find you with your scent
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He said he was worried about me. In that hellish place, stupid kids like me died quickly.
When weak children like me died, they were thrown into the fire.
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Though maybe it was never simple. Not for either of them. Maybe there was always pain, and he had simply learned to ignore the most unbearable parts.
They say that when you love someone, you share everything with that person. Maybe that’s why he feels everything became more bearable.
Since meeting Rin, his life has become something different. Less suffocating. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.
And Rin… Rin is real.
What he feels for him is real too. And that’s enough for him.
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Even if I sleep in infinity
Don't leave my universe
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Then they opened the sky, and the bodies fell from it onto the other kids, like snow.
What would happen to someone as insignificant as me in a place like that? It was pitiful.
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Rin doesn’t know everything.
He doesn’t know that his short words, his quiet companionship that others might mistake for coldness, or those simple gestures reminded Nanase he wasn’t alone. And he doesn’t need to know.
Because with Rin, sometimes explanations weren’t necessary. It was enough to see him there, standing by his side.
The rest can say whatever they want.
That Rin is cold and aggressive. That he only knows how to hurt and doesn’t understand love. But they haven’t seen what Nanase has seen.
They haven’t felt that exact moment when his name, spoken by Rin, reaches his ears. It’s a silent impact that stops his heart for a second for no apparent reason.
It’s impossible to explain with logic. He only knows that every time it happens, something inside him settles and, at the same time, unravels.
If that isn’t love, then he doesn’t know what could be.
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Oh my Clematis
Hope bloomed from the abyss
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My brother's words haunted me for a long time. I imagined myself dying, over and over again.
But now, I wants to see him again. Just once, to tell him he was wrong.
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Rin chose him. Out of everyone, he chose him.
He could have walked away. He could have left without looking back. He could have abandoned him there, with empty hands and shattered hopes, watching his last chance at survival slip away.
But he didn’t. Rin stayed. He didn’t say why. He didn’t try to soften his words either. He just… stayed.
And though he’ll never say it, though his pride seals his lips and forces him to act like it doesn’t matter, Nanase knows.
He’s always known.
How could he not recognize one of the most important moments of his life?
That was the moment he stopped belonging only to himself. Since then, he has belonged to Rin.
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Oh my Clematis
Hope withered in the abyss
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Hell isn’t as terrible as they say.
Where else could he have found such a beautiful paradise?
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Yes, Rin was different. Nanase knew it from the start.
Getting close wasn’t easy. At first, there was a barrier of mistrust between them. But he was desperate; he needed to improve his skills urgently. So he decided to take the first step, and little by little, he understood.
Rin isn’t like the others. He’s not like his guardian. He’s not like them.
Rin is a boy who learned to fight too soon and, somehow, also learned to love.
He’s not like the others. Rin is… someone who doesn’t crumble even when everything around him is falling apart. He’s the kind of person who holds more than he says, who observes before acting, who seems distant… until suddenly he’s there, keeping you from falling.
Rin carries more weight than anyone should bear, but he never uses it as an excuse to pull away. Instead, he stays. Even when it costs him. Even when it would be easier to leave everything behind.
And if Rin, with all that he is and all that he carries, chose to stay with someone like him… the least Nanase can do is give him his entire being.
So that Rin can reach that dream he once confessed, on one of those rare nights when his defenses seemed lowered. Rin, despite everything, still believed that something good could be waiting for him at the end of the road.
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Oh my Clematis
Please stay by my side
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Nanase took a step forward, calmly closing the distance between them.
His hand rose with a slow gesture, and his fingers carefully brushed a stray lock of hair falling over Rin’s forehead, gently tucking it to the side, making sure it stayed in place.
—Always so perfect, Rin-san —he thought, a serene smile appearing on his lips
The final note of the song echoed through the air, and then silence settled over the crowd.
Behind them, the results began to project on the screen.
87/86
RIN WIN
Nanase stares at him intently, with those round and shining eyes, as if he’s the only thing present.
The warmth left by Nanase’s hand on his cheek is comforting, and Rin feels he could stay like this forever, clinging to that warmth.
But then, a red flash shatters the moment.
Rin’s smile freezes instantly. He sees Nanase’s eyes widen slightly, his expression barely shifting before a thin line of blood seeps from his neck.
Rin blinks, and something warm and wet splashes his face.
—Wait-
The hand that moments ago caressed his cheek now slides slowly down his face.
The body in front of him sways and collapses to the ground with a dull thud that echoes in his head.
Rin remains motionless, rooted to the spot. His chest rises and falls irregularly, but no words manage to escape.
Nothing.
His knees give way, and he drops beside him.
Blood spreads quickly over the white of Nanase’s suit, staining Rin’s hands pressed against the floor.
Behind them, the screen continues displaying the results, as if nothing had happened.
And then, the audience breaks the silence with shouts and applause, celebrating a triumph that makes no sense.
Rin hears nothing. He only sees Nanase’s face, still etched with a soft smile, strangely intact amidst the horrific scene.
The light of his star fades before his eyes, and Rin, for the first time in a long time, feels that everything he had left is gone.
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My Clematis...
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The breeze was gentle that afternoon, at that perfect point where it’s not too cold, and the darkness is pleasant enough to lull you to sleep.
Nanase didn’t remember when he had fallen asleep. He only knew he felt comfortable.
It was a pinch on his cheek that snapped him out of his lethargy. He frowned but didn’t open his eyes, merely turning his face lazily.
But the pinch came again, interrupting his rest, this time accompanied by a familiar, deep voice.
—Wake up
Nanase mumbled something unintelligible before feeling a third pinch. He blinked slowly, squinting to focus his vision.
—Mmm… what…? —he mumbled
—Wake up —the voice repeated, now closer
The first thing he saw was a mop of black hair tousled by the wind and intense eyes looking down at him.
—Ah, Rin-san… —he murmured, still drowsy
Rin leaned in slightly and, without a word, pinched his cheek again.
—Ouch… Rin-san, that’s not a nice way to wake someone up
—I was calling you —Rin said, his brow slightly furrowed— For almost five minutes, and you didn’t react
—Ah… I’m sorry —Nanase sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. He stayed silent for a few seconds, then tilted his head— Is something wrong?
Rin seemed to hesitate for a moment before answering.
—Hiori is looking for you —he said at last— He’s worried because you’ve been gone for hours
Nanase froze for a second. He blinked, and then a small smile appeared on his lips.
—Really?
Rin nodded— Yeah. He was worried, thinking something happened to you —he paused— Besides, he says he needs to talk to you about something important
—Oh. Does it have to do with Karasu-san? —he asked
—Who knows… and honestly, I don’t care —Rin replied, his tone clearly disinterested— Their love problems or whatever aren’t my priority
Nanase watched him silently for a few more seconds. It wasn’t that Rin hated Karasu or Hiori. In fact, you could say they got along to some extent, but they didn’t seem to matter enough to him to get involved in their issues.
In truth, Rin was like that with almost everything that wasn’t directly part of his life he just let it pass.
His thoughts were interrupted by a hand extended toward him.
Nanase blinked, surprised by the gesture. Usually, it was he who offered his hand to Rin. His eyes dropped to the outstretched hand, and without hesitation, he took it.
Their fingers intertwined naturally. The warmth spread through his arm and settled in his chest.
Rin pulled gently, helping him stand, but didn’t let go of his hand.
And Nanase didn’t want to let go either.
On the contrary, once he was standing, he held on a little tighter.
After a few seconds, he started walking, pulling Rin along with him.
—What are you doing? —Rin asked.
—Im going to see Hiori-san—Nanase replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world— You’re coming with me
—Why?
Nanase stopped mid-step. He looked at their intertwined hands, then at Rin.
—Because… it makes me feel better when you’re close
Rin fell silent. His expression shifted slightly. His eyes seemed to gleam for a moment.
His lips pressed together as if considering a response, but he said nothing.
He only let out a soft sigh.
—Idiot… —he murmured
They started walking again, in silence, their hands still joined.
A few meters later, Rin spoke again.
—Are you seriously not going to let me go?
Nanase let out a soft, teasing laugh.
—No. I’m never letting go of your hand
Rin glanced down for a second, then looked up again without fully turning his face.
—You’d better not —he mumbled
Nanase smiled, not taking his eyes off him— I promise
Rin stopped for a moment. He didn’t let go of his hand but didn’t take another step either.
—Promise for real —Rin said
—Rin-san…? —Nanase asked softly
Rin took a deep breath, as if weighing the words he was about to say.
—Promise you won’t change and drift away from me. That you won’t let me end up alone
His voice came out tense, and Nanase couldn’t help but freeze.
—I want you to promise… now —Rin continued, his eyes fixed on the ground. As he spoke, he slowly raised their intertwined hands, bringing them close to his face. He brushed his knuckles gently against his cheek, as if seeking warmth— Before something changes
He squeezed Nanase’s hand a little tighter. —Because things change, they always do. And… I don’t want you to.
There’s a moment of silence.
Nanase watches him, eyes wide, stunned by the sudden confession.
It’s rare for Rin to show such vulnerability, and the direction of the conversation catches him off guard. Did something happen during his nap to make Rin speak like this?
He brought his free hand to Rin’s cheek and, with care, brushed aside a stray lock of hair falling over his forehead.
—I won’t change —he whispered, looking straight into his eyes— I won’t leave you. I promise, Rin-san.
His thumb gently traced Rin’s skin— I’m going to stay with you.
Rin didn’t respond, only squeezed his hand a little tighter, and the silence returned. After a while, they resumed walking.
For a moment, everything was okay. And that was enough.
.
.
.
Too bad Nanase Nijiro was a liar.