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His phone rang out loud, catching the attention of his mother before he even had time to process it.
"If it's your dad, just hang up."
"Don't talk about him like that."
Ms. Han rolled her eyes, switching through the TV channels as her son picked up his phone. The contact read "Thanos 💜" with a picture of the silly purple haired man sticking his tongue out. Thanos. One of the many guys who found a way to his heart. He felt so far away recently, always avoiding conversation with Nam-gyu and often forgetting things he even said. It was getting to a point that Nam-gyu couldn't handle anymore. He was tired of playing games with guys. He learned that after getting too attached to his ex.
"You gonna answer or let it ring out?"
"Whatever."
Nam-gyu sighed, getting up from his comfortable spot on the couch to look for privacy in the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, closing the lid to the toilet and sitting down, pulling his knees to his chest. Finally, he could answer the phone.
"Nam-su!"
"Nam-gyu."
"Yea- man- you wanna play some games?"
"What do you take me for? A child?"
"Do you wanna come or not?"
"No."
"Whatever! Just bring a jacket, it's fucking cold in here."
"Good night, Su-bong."
Nam-gyu hung up right in his face. He wanted nothing to do with Thanos right now. Although.. an outing sounded good right about now, maybe even some drugs. Too bad Thanos didn't say anything about pills, then Nam-gyu would've been sold. The thought of the purple haired man plagued his mind like a virus, he was so entertaining and funny... fuck. Nam-gyu knew he wanted to go. He always wanted to be around Thanos.
The boy hopped off the toilet, turning the sink on to splash some water in his face to relax. Seeing Thanos always made him nervous, it didn't help the fact he was into him. Nam-gyu stood up straight, looking at himself in the mirror. He wasn't wearing anything special, just a loose t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. It was acceptable, although he felt as if he needed to change himself for the other. Myung-gi liked his stupid style. Thought it fit him. He could never shake those words, the little boost of confidence it gave him. Too bad Myung-gi didn't like his ego. It didn't matter.
"Mom, i'm going somewhere."
"Got a bitch?"
"How about you fix your relationship with dad before barging into mine?"
Ms. Han cursed at the boy as he walked past the TV, heading for the door. He didn't feel like paying the bus fare, so he'd just walk to the others house. He knew where it was, for he had walked there millions of times. The route was tattooed to his brain. It was his favorite place to be. Anywhere with Thanos was his favorite.
I'm almost outside
no ones home
No one was ever at his house. At least not when Nam-gyu came over. His parents were always out for business or leaving him for space. The space was more for them than it was for him. When Nam-gyu arrived, he stared at the big white house with a slight discomfort. God, how did he always end up in these scenarios? Before he could lift his hand to knock, the door already opened for him. Thanos smiled brightly at him before dragging him into the house, immediately ready to get to business.
"Just me and you?"
"You and me. Alone."
Their hands were playing hide and seek under the sheets for a good half an hour. Every touch was sweet yet so sour at the same time. Thanos' warm hands against Nam-gyu's cold skin made him feel like the most important person ever, yet when he tried to hold onto the man he loved most, his hands moved.
The silence was suffocating, every minute it was getting harder to breathe. Nam-gyu was tired of feeling like he was drowning in Thanos' presence. It was a terrifying, crushing feeling. He was tired of playing games with him. They always teetered between friends and something special. Nam-gyu didn't want just a play date. He was tired of chasing after people who didn't want him. He wanted to stay.
Thanos didn't give a fuck about him anyway. He never said he gave a shit about the other. He wasn't a kind person, nor did he have good communication skills. Tomorrow he'd have some other bitch in his bed just like this. They'd fuck, he'd praise her, she'd moan his name like he was the one for her, and it'd be over. Like everyone else in his life, Nam-gyu was just another play date.
"Well damn! Just because I'm open doesn't mean I don't like you!"
Nam-gyu shuddered.
"Fuck you! God you're a bitch!"
"Who the fuck is that?"
Nam-gyu woke up, still in the others bed, as he screamed at someone over the phone. Thanos didn't hear him.
"No- you're not hearing me! You- yes, you have personality!"
Another play date.
"Thanos-"
"Not now!"
Nam-gyu flinched when Thanos yelled at him. The sound was always unsettling and terrifying. He hated it when Thanos yelled at him, therefore he tried to tip toe around making him angry at all times. It obviously didn't work this time.
"That's nobody, come on! How could I cheat on you? We're not even a fucking thing!"
Sometimes Nam-gyu wished he had monopoly over the purple haired man's mind. He wished he could just make him see what was clearly in front of him so he could make an actual decision. Still, he wished he didn't care all the damn time.
"Fine! Fuck you!"
Thanos finally hung up, throwing his phone onto a chair in his room.
"Another one of you hoes?"
He finally turned to acknowledge Nam-gyu who was shivering even under the covers.
"C'mon, Nam-su, it's not-"
"Nam-gyu."
"Yea, right, it's not like-"
"You can't even get my damn name right, is it really not like that?!"
Thanos was obviously stunned. Nam-gyu was always shy when it came to getting too serious with him. He hated to talk back, or at least Thanos thought.
"Don't you know I'm always tired of playing games with you? It's like- ring around the rosie! We're always going in fucking circles."
"Can you just cooperate for one moment?"
"Have I not cooperated enough?"
"Look, Nam-gyu, I just want to give you what you need!"
That stung. Thanos knew nothing about him. If he really knew what he needed, he'd either commit to a relationship or stop fucking with Nam-gyu's emotions. He had access to the most important part of him, and he wasn't even sure how to handle it.
"It's totally not like I give a fuck about you. How I'm always there when you ask, how I do everything with, and for you. How the least you could do is just be serious with me!"
"Is having sex not serious enough?"
"No! In fact it's childish and pathetic. You take me for rounds like a game. I bet you play with other girls like this."
"You think that low of me?"
Thanos didn't give a fuck about Nam-gyu. He knew it. There was never a time he gave a shit about him. Nam-gyu had to believe it. He wanted to believe it so horrendously bad. It was quite the opposite, though. Nam-gyu thought so highly of Thanos. He thought he was amazing. Someone he cared about more than himself, yet being his main bitch wasn't something he wanted to be proud of.
"I don't want to be your play date."
Nam-gyu bit his nails, avoiding all eye contact with the other man. Thanos looked around, concern welled up in his eyes before he made the dangerous choice to sit next to a pathetic Nam-gyu.
"If you don't want what I want, just let me go."
"Then what do you want?"
It was almost painful to answer. The only time he was ever asked that was when it came to dinner of what type of cigarettes he wanted, never when it came to what he felt.
"Commitment. Someone who just wants to stay for me- nothing else."
Thanos had never committed to anything in his life that wasn't drugs. Honestly, he thought whatever they had going on was enough of a commitment already. Nam-gyu was the only person he ever felt good around. He appreciated more than just the sex, Nam-gyu was special to him.
"Well, I want you."
"And who else?"
"C'mon, just you! The others feel good, but they don't make me feel anything."
At least he was honest. That was reassuring. Nam-gyu sighed, folding his arms and holding his head down. Even if Thanos did want him, was it really going to last? How many nights would it take for him to realize they weren't meant to be?
"You know I give a fuck about you. Hell, I call you almost every day, don't I?"
"Most of those calls just get cut short."
"Ok, that's my parents fault. Trust me, I think about you a lot."
"You know, if we do become a thing, you've gotta communicate better?"
Thanos scoffed, punching him lightly in the shoulder before leaning in close to his face.
"I don't wanna leave this play date with you, Nam-gyu."