Chapter Text
The light, burning and blinding, was only matched by the blaze currently consuming Barbatos. He was holding Dorian in his arms, squeezing him tight enough to feel his heart beating. His face so close he could see his own gaze reflected in the eyes of his dying love, emotions swirled within him in a deafening cacophony that isolated him from the world. They were the only ones left on this planet. Everything else no longer mattered: the revolution, the battle, everyone else, all of it was disappearing as the being dearest to him seemed to fade away by the moment.
He endured his last breaths while Barbatos', as if absorbing it, redoubled in intensity in total panic, as if each inspiration brought him closer to asphyxiation. His gaze, so full of benevolence, was now nothing more than a mirror. His face stiffened.
And in the face of all this, Barbatos could only hold him in his arms, helpless. Unable to help him. He would have sacrificed his life if he could, but he couldn't join him in death. He wished to, but he just couldn't; he had to continue his work, because letting his conviction die with him would be a far worse act than the one who had shot that arrow.
Barbatos' resolve was absolute: he had to complete his goals and fulfill his dreams, then perhaps he could join him in the afterlife. He approached slowly, vainly holding back his tears from falling on the person to whom he owed everything, feeling his breath for one last time. He held his breath so as not to alter the memory of Dorian. He moved closer and closer, as if feeling his breath one last time would make him live forever.
His lips were so close that their two breaths became one. His gaze became one that only reflected the other and saw nothing other than themselves– a serenity, a calm in the eye of the cyclone that was Barbatos. And it was then that finally, as if to seal his promise, as if it were a farewell, that he made a last advance and he–.
“Thank you!” said Adelin, still in Decabarian’s costume. “Now, this time, you’ve got something!”
Venti wiped away his tears, which were now more from frustration of this missed opportunity to kiss a pretty boy and not from despair. He was nevertheless touched by the few rounds of applause from the troupe; he should manage to get a spot without there being too many holdouts. Well, there probably will be one, this Leo again….
Carmen got up from the floor, completely ignoring the others who congratulated him. He appreciated the flattery about his skills, Venti thought, but he's surely one of those who feels admiration is due to their actions.
He deserved to be congratulated, obviously. It was not congratulating him that would get a reaction from him, and it wouldn’t be a good one. Venti gave him a big smile, his face still a little red from being so intimate with someone he only met a few days ago, which was answered only by an approving nod. He apparently did well to work on his scene to this point. Carmen moved closer, his gaze fixed directly on Venti, still as troubled inside as that kiss that had been the focus of his work these last few days, but trying not to have a reaction that would make Carmen understand it.
“Not bad for a beginner,” he began, “but you can still improve on the speeches. That’s the difference between you and me. You need to work harder than that.”
Ouch. He didn't mince his words, saying it while looking Venti straight in the eyes, who suddenly felt a lot less confident. The heat of the spotlight on them didn't compensate for the coldness with which he said it, but there was no way he was going to let that happen. Then, an idea came into Venti's mind.
“If I'm lacking practice, we should get together one of these days to practice, right?”
He managed to say it without accompanying it with an evil laugh while rubbing his hands, even though it was a trap to succeed in breaking Carmen's ice and melting him by pulling him directly into his arms! Alone, he will be able to seduce him with complete peace of mind, he will not be able to resist him! He just had to succeed in convincing him with the right arguments….
“Good idea, we’ll meet in the afternoon tomorrow at 2 at the university café.”
...well, apparently there was no need to argue further than that. Carmen then went over to the rest of the troupe, who were still discussing Venti's performance, while he could only admire Carmen from behind. It was still quite difficult to fathom how much they resembled each other –at least it seemed clear to everyone– but not to him, and from what he remembered of Carmen's reaction when he was offered an audition, he didn't see the resemblance either.
Carmen was a bit shorter than Venti, and while they had soft features and similar builds, he had eyes that were a very deep metallic blue, while Venti's were more of a light blue-green. Venti also had longer hair and discolored at the ends, where Carmen kept a more sensible hairstyle although he allowed himself the simple fantasy of having two slightly longer locks which framed his face, but which above all gave a slightly more square and closed appearance to his expression.
Venti also left the stage, finally returning to the much cooler shadows, to find Furina, who was kind enough to accompany him, and without a murderous look –or even an attempt to murder him– but rather with a touch of pride. After all, it was she who had struggled for days to force a much too dissipated Venti to learn a line by heart! And given the person it was not an easy thing. Even if he had a good motivation for it, managing to keep him focused to rehearse again and again was a considerable effort, whereas she would have only needed a handful of attempts to perfectly master a simple casting text.
But hey, one also had to know how to be supportive. And since she was the one who brought Venti to see this troupe by chance –even though he originally came to support her, who wanted to join– she had to give him a big smile to congratulate him on having delivered his text so well! He did a good job after all.
“Are you still mad at me?” Venti asked, worried by a face that seemed to indicate that his friend was pointing a gun at him and was only waiting that he notices it to fire.
“No, of course not,” Furina lied, trying to regain a more sympathetic face. “I'm actually very proud of your performance, it shows that when you work, you can do it!”
“You say that as if I usually mess everything up, but theater is hard, I'm not an actor!”
“Yes, but there, you managed to create an illusion and show that you really want to be part of the troupe!” Furina refuted passionately. “That's the most important thing.ll You’ll improve in the future with every performance!"
"But the future is tomorrow and now I have a date with Carmen!" Venti said with a smile that showed he had already forgotten the reason for the meeting.
“Really?” She asked quizzically. “He doesn't seem to like you that much. Are you sure it's a date?”
“Yes, well, we’re supposed to work on my speech, but we know very well what all that means….”
Furina rolled her eyes. “Venti,” she whispered seriously worried about her friend. “He's trying to be a professional, unlike you. So if he wants to work on the dialogue, you'd better be serious too, otherwise you'll just ruin your chances of being part of the show.”
“It's not that bad, the story is good but….”
“But you'll also ruin your chances with Carmen,” added Furina, knowing that this argument would work much better.
“Okay,” Venti sighed begrudgingly, reluctantly convinced by this solid argument, “I'll do my best to flirt...professionally. If only we hadn't cut the three times we did the kiss scene, it would have been much easier!”
“ Adelin is the leader of the troupe. You can't go against his will, Venti.” Furina crossed her arms. “And I don't really know Carmen personally, but I think if you kiss him offstage, he'll break your spine.”
“So how should I get closer?” Venti asked, his eyes fixed on Carmen.
Furina paused for a moment, her eyes moving to the group. On the one hand, she obviously wanted to help her friend who seemed incapable of thinking about anyone else since seeing Carmen. However, she had absolutely no idea how to seduce anyone, her own attempts so far had three results: realizing that the other didn't even know she was flirting, having pushed the other into someone else's arms in the end, or worse, having misjudged the person and created a bully for herself...twice.
Venti knew he was probably asking the worst person for love advice, but so far his attempts hadn't really yielded much: Carmen was friendly, but cold towards him. And that wasn’t the worst part. His friend, who he's always with, Leo, didn't seem to like him that much. That's why he asked Furina this question, he needed to hear it from someone else, this obvious solution that he didn't really want to try.
“Could you try to get closer to the whole troupe?”
Of course she'd suggest that, Venti told himself. He didn't really want to; they were all older, more serious, more into theater, a world Venti didn't really know. It would be so much better if he could just pull Carmen into music, a field where he knew he already excelled and where he could seduce him! But he had to resign himself and try. It wasn't for everyone.
“You’re right,” Venti said thoughtfully. “I have to do this. I’ll get closer to him, and maybe he’ll finally look at me.”
Venti was quite handsome, he knew it and he played on it a bit, without being a Don Juan who dedicated his life to seduction. It happened sometimes that some people were not receptive to his charm, of course, but usually he didn't make a big deal out of it. But not this time.
For some reason he didn't know, Carmen fascinated him. It was hard to describe exactly why, but he combined a lot of charisma with his cold beauty and had a beautiful appearance and a feeling full of nobility and calm. Venti was more used to being with energetic, dynamic, even hyperactive people. Carmen brought him a great sense of fulfillment –relaxed all his muscles just by his presence and for a week already, even if he hadn't shown the slightest touch of affection. Venti didn't just want to succeed in making him fall for him: he wanted to be with him. Every day, all the time. This wasn't just a regular crush –this one wasn't going anywhere. That's why he was willing to really try, where usually he let others court him.
This was a special case.It wouldn't be like the handful of stories written in his love story journal or the one where the stories were less romantic than physical. No, this time he was going to have to put his all into it. This time he was going to give it his all! He had a private meeting with him, it was a good first step, the second was to enter his world of theater just as others entered his world of music!
“Wait, it’s already…I have to go! Good luck and well done!” Furina called, going up the aisle of seats without looking back—forgetting her bag, which would already ensure her delay, Venti thought, but it was already too late. The door had already slammed, turning the actors towards the noise. An ideal distraction to discreetly slip closer to the group and blend in casually.
“So,” continued Adelin, we thought, Venti, that you were perfectly suited to the role of Barbatos. Physically you fit the bill, in acting you’re not bad, even if you’ll still need a little training, but–”
”Exactly!” Venti interrupted. “I think that since I have a lot of scenes with Dorian, I should practice with him!”
”Mmmh. Yes, you're not wrong about that, Carmen?”
“No problem with that, no.” Carmen replied, without really smiling or blowing, which was neither a good nor a bad sign.
“Perfect then! By the way, do you think you could grow your hair long to play Dorian?”
A moment to shine, just great!
“I can help you take care of them if you like,” Venti added with a smile—hiding some very self-serving thoughts—with an angelic gaze fixed on Carmen. “I know how to take care of mine pretty well!”
All of this, of course, adding a long caress of his beautiful hair, revealing his neck and shoulders with his top with a collar open enough to not require any effort to know exactly what his stature looked like.
“With pleasure,” Carmen replied calmly, with a smile so polite that no one could have felt any unease with it.
Then a more complicated technical discussion ensued, talking about stage balance, lighting, or scenes that didn't include Barbatos. Of course, he had said that he would cling. Venti tried to comprehend some of the terms and what was said, but a good part of it was obscure to him. Some of the jargon confused him a bit, but thanks to his artistic knowledge –although purely musical –he managed to connect the dots, a good part coming from his knowledge of concert scenes.
And it was then, as the mist began to lift, that a voice, which until then had said nothing, rose up:
“Adelin, sorry to interrupt, but this has been on my mind for days, and I prefer to say it now that everyone is present. Are you sure you want to do our show with him? We wrote it together, and it's an important project for me too, but I don't know…. Doing it with a stranger, and on top of that, who isn't an actor, when he'll have one of the main roles? Sorry if this is impertinent, but it seems a little too risky to me.”
Silence fell. Faces turned toward this man. Him. Venti recognized him very well. During this week when he wasn't spying on Carmen but simply trying to understand his habits. He had seen them together often enough to the point of sometimes thinking they had a history together. Leo, a tall, muscular man who seemed to only like theater and bodybuilding, had a small beard and mid-length hair tied back strictly –clearly he was growing it for his role as Brend because he didn't seem to know how to style it –a deep red, coppery mixed with brown, almost like a campfire. He said this without looking at the target of his remark, but Venti felt it. His eyes were magnetized to him, he wanted to give him a murderous look but resisted with all his might.
Looking for some hope for his possible future with him, Venti immediately looked at Carmen, sitting a few seats away, arms crossed and impassive. He must have expected this remark –they had probably talked about it between them before.
Surprisingly, it was Carmen who broke the silence that had already made a comfortable place in the discussion.
“We talked it over with Leo during the week, and he thinks he’ll either back down, give up, or underperform and that it’ll affect the production. And since it’s both of your last year and we probably won’t have time to prepare another play, we’ll have to do it several times, so he’d prefer we not take any risks.”
Ouch? All of this was hard to take…. He had said all this with his angelic face with that composed and calm expression, as if he were reciting a simple lesson, yet his words were cutthroat and the poor musician was on the verge of collapse. That's when his brain found a miracle crutch. Carmen said "he thinks," not "we think." Carmen didn't agree, therefore he was on Venti’s side!
By the time he'd done this mental gymnastics and given his most mocking smile to the redhead, Venti saw that he, too, had taken the same path of thought and was now looking at his feet, his head hunched over his shoulders, both ashamed of relying on someone to explain his thoughts like a child, but also realizing that he didn't have the support he could have expected.
Which of course made that carnivorous smile much more delectable. But with the silence that fell on this somewhat awkward moment, glances came to Adelin, deep in thought.
“Leo, I hear what you have to say and I understand your fear. Unfortunately, you know as well as I do that this opportunity is unique. We probably won't have another chance to do this play, and we don't even know if we'll work together in the future. Moreover, you yourself often say that we need to open the theater to more people –to make it accessible –and you're right, but we also need to make it accessible on stage. Elitism is what kills art. Music or drawing, for example, are more accessible; people can sing or draw as much as they want. Theater should be the same, and if other disciplines see that the theater company is opening its stage to people from other groups, it can only energize our performances. Don't you think so?”
A very fine speech, Venti thought. It was quite hard to believe that he had improvised it. And said with an aplomb that commands admiration too! He had taken a fright, a situation of doubt and he had succeeded in turning it into evidence and even in necessity to do so! This charisma, this assurance, this way of finding the words, it was truly something admirable and which would convince anyone! Venti, in any case, was now doubly convinced that he had to take part in this play!
Leo's response was slow to come, as his eyes darted from face to face and finally into the void of thought. His silence indicated not only that he agreed, but also that he wasn't happy to agree. Venti was almost sorry for him to find himself isolated from general opinion like that.
Almost.
And so the discussion continued, Adelin even confirmed Venti's participation by giving him the rehearsal times and his entire script. But Venti had, throughout this meeting, his eyes squinting at Carmen. He perhaps didn't seem so close to the others. He participated a little, gave his opinion on a few subjects, but for the most part he remained a little aloof. He was also a little isolated, only close to Leo who struggled to keep his head up, visibly still disturbed by his attempt to speak. It was rather strange, it wasn't shyness yet –Carmen spoke without any concern and when he spoke –it was with an icy assurance that no one dared to challenge by interrupting him.
There was something there, Venti had to keep digging into it to figure it out, but all those thoughts remained relatively unimportant compared to the endless inner screaming reminding him that tomorrow he had a date with Carmen!