Work Text:
AITA for Ruining my MIL's White Dress at My Wedding?
My now-wife (Lucy, 35F) and I (Patty, 46F) just got married two days ago. We've been together for years, but the real story here is my MIL (Heinka, 77F). I've hated this woman for 18 years. It’s a long, complicated story, but suffice it to say, she's a piece of work. When we got engaged, Lucy wanted to keep the peace and asked me to include Heinka in the wedding party emails. I begrudgingly agreed.
For weeks, Heinka never replied to a single email. She missed every fitting and event. We all just assumed she wasn't interested, which was fine by me. But then, Lucy heard through the grapevine that Heinka was planning to show up in a white dress. This was the final straw. She cried to me about it while I was getting a fitting for my own white suit.
This is where I might be the asshole. Knowing full well that Heinka never reads her emails, I hatched a plan. The wedding party was already set with baby blue dresses and matching suits. I sent out an email to the entire wedding party (including Heinka) with a fun new idea. I told them to find cheap white dresses and suits—the uglier and more flamboyant, the better. I said we'd be dousing them with non-alcoholic punch and wine to create "a unique, new design" as a fun pre-ceremony event. I even moved the ceremony back two hours to give them time to get dressed and let their "art" dry. I invited the kids to participate too, calling it a fun activity. Everyone else in the wedding party thought it was hilarious and totally on-brand for me.
The wedding day arrived. Heinka waltzed in looking like she owned the place, wearing the most garish, cheap, puffy white dress you could imagine. My brother (Nigel, 44M) gave me a look that said, "You genius." Several guests commented on her dress, calling it cheap and gaudy. I just smiled.
Lucy came up and called for "white photo time," which was the code phrase from the email for the game to begin. Heinka, completely oblivious, joined the group in the middle of the room. She elbowed a few younger guests out of the way to get to the front, and as a result, she got the brunt of the punch mixture. She practically took a bath in the drink. It was a beautiful sight.
She screamed in horror, and Nigel rushed over, pretending to be concerned that she got wine in her eyes. Heinka yelled at me, "YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE!"
A chorus of "Duh" came from the wedding party and guests.
Then she screamed at Lucy, asking how her "own daughter" could be so despicable and that she'd be paying for this dress. Lucy, my brave wife, stood her ground and simply said, "Mom, it was all in the email. Everyone was told to wear a cheap white outfit and change into their real clothes before the ceremony."
The kids who participated confirmed it. So did Lucy's brother, Fred (47M), and my BIL, David (44M). Heinka was speechless. She then said our marriage was unlawful and left.
The whole wedding party and our guests are on my side, saying she got exactly what she deserved. But Lucy's extended family and a few of our friends are saying that even though she was in the wrong, I still shouldn't have been so cruel. They say it was tacky and made a spectacle out of our wedding. Lucy is just happy she's gone and we're married. I'm proud of myself, but now I'm starting to wonder if I did go too far.
So, AITA?