Work Text:
It was always whenever the air got too still, when the birds were chirping peacefully in the background and it almost felt normal again.
But it was of course only the calm before the storm.
They were in the ‘living room’ of the industrial complex when suddenly their leader, Kim Dokja, disappeared right before their eyes.
Right after that a new sub-scenario popped up.
[Sub-scenario - Help the miserable]
Category: Sub-scenario
Difficulty: ???
Clearing conditions: communicate with the past self of the selected incarnation and protect them until the scenario is not finished.
Time: ???
Rewards: 50000 coins + deeper understanding of the selected incarnation
Penalty for failure: The incarnation will permanently die.
*Don't ever reveal the contents of this scenario to the past self of the selected target
*Don't tell the target about their future self’s accomplishments or relationships.
————
Not even the time to read the clearing conditions and a familiar man appeared standing in the middle of the living room.
“Uh-?”
A squeak of surprise came from the lips of said person.
The room fell silent quickly. The kids who just minutes before were bickering over who was Dokja's favorite had their eyes wide open.
The usually loud and sassy Han Sooyoung and Jihye had their mouths so open, a fly could easily enter.
Even the usually stoic Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but be shocked by the familiar man's appearance. Even though it was not easy to see the difference between his usual stoic and his surprised self, the way his eyes were glued to the man gave away his nervousness.
A skinny man with wide fitting working clothes. Not starving skinny, but not close to healthy.
His skin paler than a corpse, eye bags darker than anything else, like he hadn't slept properly in decades.
But his eyes were as deep as usual, still they looked unsure.. introverted, scared even.
— What.. The fuck-?
Han Sooyoung in three simple words expressed what the whole Kimcom was feeling in the last 20 seconds. Yet those same 3 simple words, seemed to have made the poor man an anxious mess
Yoo Sangah immediately recognized the man, having worked with him for an entire year at Minosoft, yet compared to the healthy man she had gotten used to during the apocalypse, this man was in an extremely bad condition. She had completely forgotten about his appearance when he just joined.
— uh.. I'm sorry, may I ask where I am..?
He used a polite and unsure tone that didn't resemble their leader's usual teasing and confident one.
They could barely believe their eyes, let alone their ears.
—ah, dokja-ssi
Kim Dokja's gaze snapped to look at the person who just talked, it was Yoo Sangah.
Seeing a familiar face made dokja's eyes slightly light up. His tense shoulder quickly relaxed.
-ah! Sangah-ssi, do you perhaps know where we are? And.. Uh.. Who are these people-? Are they your friends?
It didn't take much explaining for him to understand, even if they didn't mention why he was here, or which scenario popped up.
Kim dokja looked at the characters of TWSA he only read about with amazed eyes, he didn't dare talk to them or look at them too long, still it had been a long time since he felt this excited.
While he looked around amazed, the others were having literal existential crises.
— is that really ahjussi-?!
Whispered Lee Jihye to the others, Yoo Sangah nodded slowly. Feeling now guilty for never having noticed his obviously bad health condition.
—For fuck's sake, he looks skin and bones! I almost mistook him for a corpse..!
Said Jung Heewon clenching her jaw. She was so mad that their beloved leader was in such bad conditions. She started mumbling and cussing labor laws and all the companies that didn't pay sufficient salaries for the workers to even fucking eat.
Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes didn't once leave Kim Dokja. The man was not moving a lot as if he didn't want to disturb the dust. Still, in his eyes he could see the amazement of a 3 year old seeing a plane for the first time ever.
But he also concentrated on how skinny he was, there were small cuts on his fingers,maybe from trying to cook. Failing miserably, given his appearance.
But once in a while he would look at them, his gaze lingering a second too long. And when he made contact with Yoo Joonghyuk his head would snap back.
Making Yoo Joonghyuk annoyed, cuz why would Dokja not look at him? Kim Dokja never lost an opportunity to look at him and tease him with that smug grin of his.
This was not the annoying Dokja that he knew. The dokja that always teased him, to the point of angering him.
At some point Lee Seolhwa approached him, she tried her best to not startle him, yet when she started talking, he flinched in surprise.
—ah, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you…
Dokja-ssi.. Um.. do you need anything?
Dokja smiled politely
— ah, no thank you Seolhwa-ssi
His voice was barely audible, too soft. It almost felt like an interaction between dirt and divinity. He even bowed-!
—... Would you like to join us?
Lee Seolhwa tried to put the most friendly smile on.
Kim dokja couldn't help but take a quick peek at Yoo Joonghyuk. In the second round he had a child with Lee Seolhwa, and even in the rounds that came afterwards he treasured her a lot.
The last thing he wanted to do was anger Yoo Joonghyuk or get on his bad side. As a safety measure he took a step back.
But to Lee Seolhwa it simply looked a step back of hesitation.
—sure.. thank you
He would've usually refused, but he was really excited to see the TWSA characters in real life, even if a part of him was pretty sure he was hallucinating from overworking. It was just a dream.
For once he felt thankful to his boss.
———————————
Kim dokja was sitting alone on the couch, everyone was stealing glances at him more frequently than what they would've liked to admit.
To break the silence Lee Jihye asked
—ahjussi, where were you going before you got.. teleportated here?
—well, I wasn't going anywhere.. I was working overtime since they gave me some important assignment last minute due tomorrow..
Jung Heewon could hear something in her snap.
— overtime? With that damn frail body of yours?!
She was fuming, but for the man sitting there she was simply a stranger yelling at him.
his presence could have gotten any smaller, it would've. He probably thought she was criticizing his body, not actually caring for his health. Why would a stranger care for him?
— well, it doesn't matter… As long as I get the work done why would they care?
Kim dokja finished the sentence with a soft chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.
Well, at least they knew that it was really their stupid Dokja. The idiot who brushed off anything that involved him.
Dokja's body was getting more relaxed. It was obviously a hallucination, no need to be scared.
— What is the next scenario?
Asked Dokja curiously and question after question he got all the answers he needed, for now.
— mhm.. That's a tough one. Have you guys already got a plan?
The group looked at each other. No, they weren't usually the ones to make plans. Usually it was dokja who told them what to do. So yeah, they were kind of lost right now.
The silence itself was an answer.
— you said that my future self has been with you, I'm sure I already thought about something.. Where is my room?
And just like that Sangah-ssi took him to his room. When he opened his room there were endless papers.
Everyone looked kind of surprised, they had never entered Dokja's room… It was like seeing a reflection of his mind. Always focused on the next scenario, looking so far ahead, sometimes it worried them.
But this Dokja, his past self, entered the room not surprised at all by its state. And as if he had lived there his whole life, he picked up some files regarding the next scenario.
It didn't take him a lot to read through the thick block of paper. For a moment, even in this bad condition, even if it was his past version. In Dokja's eyes there was the same analyzing gaze as usual.
— The next scenario is very far ahead… you can relax, by the time this mysterious scenario finishes you will proceed normally.
His affirmation was soothing. Something about Kim Dokja was very comforting to their hearts. Maybe the fact that he wasn't an asshole.
— I see, thank you for telling us
replied Sangah-ssi with a smile, Dokja politely bowed his head.
— there's no need to thank me Sangah-ssi
The others just watched. Analyzing his every move.
The way he bowed a lot, how he didn't seem to have the courage to look them in the eyes. And if they did catch him looking he would look away immediately.
Shin Yoosung who had been quiet until then couldn't bear to see him so introverted, anxious and closed off. So she tugged at his work office uniform.
—Ahjusshi… do you remember us?
Dokja looked startled by the sudden contact, he looked confused.
— Umm I know just some of you… sorry. What's your name?
He said softly, not wanting to hurt the little girl's feelings. Even if this was a dream he wanted to believe it was reality. Because it had never happened before, he has never once had such a complicated lucid dream about TWSA.
After all this is how he survived his entire life, believing in fiction. And barely surviving by daydreaming.
—My name's Shin Yoosung…
He immediately noticed that the little girl sounded sad after his answer. She answered with a mumble clenching her fist on his uniform even more.
But hearing her answer his suspicions were confirmed. It was indeed Shin Yoosung. The only dilemma was what regression he was dreaming about. But dreams are often messy so probably it didn't even matter, the presence of Yoo Sangah was the confirmation.
— Well, let's go eat, Master made dinner and I'm starving
Kim Dokja's eyes light up like the ones of a puppy who just heard his favorite word, and everyone noticed. God, just how starved was this man?
Well it was actually just a man who has read about the divine cooking of his favorite protagonist for the past 10 years while all he could afford was trash.
But dinner was far from cozy and comfortable. Everyone was quiet and glanced at each other. They were not sure about what they should say, plus they were very alert because of the scenario requests to not reveal much to Dokja.
Dokja ate, but he was feeling really uncomfortable.
— My god give me a break! Have you all become fish? What's with this ice cold atmosphere?! I'm about to have indigestion yk?!
The first to break the ice was Han Sooyoung, Dokja was startled by the sudden burst of anger.
— umm.. I mean, what do you want us to talk about miss “I can't stand quietness”?
Asked Lee jihye in a sharp and sarcastic tone. Probably defensive and stressed from all the tension.
—I dunno…
she glanced at Dokja
—Hey, you. Do you seriously have no questions? Like nothing at all?
Dokja froze mid bite, suddenly all the attention was shifted to him and this made him pretty self aware.
Did he wanna ask something? God he had a million questions. But should he make them…? After a quick not so throughout analysis he decided that he better make the most of it, because he'd be returning to his dull life pretty soon.
— What kind of person…is the me that you know?
He hesitated at first, afraid of the answer he would get.
— You're an idi- OUCH! What was that for?!
Asked Han Sooyoung who's foot was hit by Jung Heewon. This man's self esteem already seemed to have hit rock bottom, they surely shouldn't try to make it worse.
— You're an amazing leader. You are always a step ahead and you never hesitate to help others. You're a truly great person.
Said Jung Heewon with a big smile on her face, her tone soft but not to the point where it sounds fake.
— Leader… I am your leader?
Dokja asked, raising an eyebrow, because if he thought this was reality for even a second, this statement right here, is proof that this is simply a dream. A great dream. One he hopes he doesn't forget.
—Yes, hyung you're our leader!
Stepped up Lee Gilyoung, his face full of conviction and determination.
—I see…
It became awkward very quickly, Dokja couldn't help but want to stare at the characters he's been reading about for years.
But he looked away every single time. And it was starting to annoy them especially Yoo Joonghyuk.
—So… ahjussi how is your life going?
Lee Jihye tried to break the silence with the first thing she could think about.
—Well I can't complain. I'm doing good
Said Kim Dokja with a soft polite smile. And that face just didn't sit right with her. Because she couldn't believe that the past Kim Dokja was that different.
But seeing his past self, all she can see is a weak, introverted scared man. Was this the same man who sacrificed his life for them?
Because looking at him like this, she would've bet he would've run away to save his ass.
—Ahjussi, why do you work overtime?
asked Shin Sooyoung innocently. She had been very quiet the whole dinner as if she was contemplating on that one sentence over and over again.
—As I said they gave me an assignment last minute due tomorrow, and well I surely do not want to be fired
He said with a soft smile, a hint of sarcasm evident in his tone of voice. And suddenly for some strange reason half of them started to look somehow angry.
Yoo Joonghyuk was clenching his teeth so hard Kim Dokja was sure he heard a crack.
That made him immediately shut the fuck up, if only they wanted, these people could send him to hell with the flicker of their fingers. (Which he'd like to avoid, since that would most likely wake him up from the dream)
—Well at least we know it's really that idiot…
Sighed exasperated Han Sooyoung with an annoyed tone of voice, while looking intently at Kim Dokja. The others either nodded or sighed heavily.
But after that, dinner continued as quietly as it had started. Lee Seolhwa seemed very concerned about his health. And behind and next her, there were all the others who were just as worried
—Dokja-ssi are you sure you're ok...? If you need any medical help I can provide it for you...
He felt something strange in his stomach, a pungent feeling as a lump formed in his throat.
‘This is dangerous’ was his first thought.
— I’m really fine-
He said, trying to brush it off as usual. After all, no one had ever actually cared enough to insist. Other than Sangah-ssi and other rare exceptions.
Plus he just can't get his hopes up. Because if he did, he wouldn't be able to live again. Knowing that, he'll never get treated with such care ever again.
— You fool… you are weak. We don't have time to babysit you.
Said Yoo Joonghyuk with his usual stoic tone of voice. But it was the first time he had heard him talk. And for a second all he could feel was joy. Because even if it was in a dream, he got to hear Yoo Joonghyuk's voice.
The protagonist whose stories have helped him to not give up on life, to not give up on himself.
And to him, Yoo Joonghyuk meant everything. His sole existence was a comfort to Dokja's entire being.
The conversation quickly ended there.
Lee Hyungsung, absent till that point because he was on a mission, was utterly shocked by the new Kim Dokja, or rather, surprised by how different he was.
Still, he tried his best to not show it (he failed). And couldn’t help but keep asking if Dokja was really ok. The answers were always the same:
“I'm ok, thanks you for asking“
“Don't worry I'm fine”
“Yes yes I already ate”
And just like that the night passed.
Kim Dokja was certain that once he opened his eyes he would wake up in his work office. He'll get scolded for not finishing the work assigned and he'll be one step closer to losing his job.
So he didn't sleep. He was gonna enjoy every last bit of this dream. Even if it meant not sleeping, ever.
After all, it's just a dream. A very lucid and concrete one, but still a dream.
He found himself amazed to have his phone with all 3149 chapters of TWSA saved.
And it was getting harder and harder to believe that this was just a dream.
— Shit Dokja get a grip. You're delusional if you think TWSA could ever become reality
He whispered as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he was really becoming delusional.
The next day while trying his best to not fall asleep he started to hear the kids yelling. The kids were competing to see who was the strongest while Lee Hyungsung was trying to end their fight peacefully (once again, he failed miserably)
Lee Jihye and Jung Heewon were training brutally as if they were sworn enemies.
Yoo Joonghyuk was quietly sharpening his sword as Han Sooyoung kept annoying him with useless comments.
Lee Seolhwa and Yoo Sangah were having a nice conversation over some tea.
And at the peaceful sight, Dokja truly felt like crying. Because he realized that it was too late, his heart believed this to be real.
He realized that he was too deep emotionally.
For the first time in years, he cursed himself for believing fiction to be real. He cursed himself for being such a fool. Because he knew that even if it was real, this was probably a limited time scenario.
Which means, reality or dream, he'll go back to his dull life.
And if he went back to that life with his memories intact, he would live miserably until the very end. Because he would know that this reality exists, a reality where he has friends and someone who cares about him.
And now he felt pathetic. Because he was jealous of himself.
(Dokja does not know the contents of the scenario, he could simply guess. He doesn't know he's seeing his future. He simply thinks that he might be one of the many Dokjas who got lucky and got involved to this universe)
And suddenly someone noticed his presence.
—"Ahjussi! What are you doing hiding in the shadows like a weirdo?"
Lee Jihye’s teasing voice came from behind him, startling him slightly. She wasn’t alone. Han Sooyoung, Lee Gilyoung, even Jung Heewon had turned their heads, grinning.
—"Come on, we’re just messing around. Come sit with us."
Heewon’s smile was bright. Not forced. Not a kindness out of obligation. Just… warm.
And that warmth stabbed.
It wasn’t supposed to be this easy. It wasn’t supposed to be this real.
Dokja opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He forced a smile instead — the kind of smile you use when you're barely holding together your face.
Fuck.
was all he could think
He could feel the heat in his face. He could feel how close he was to breaking down right there. But he wasn't going to fuck it up, not in his dream.
—"A-ah, I’ll join you in a bit. I just need to wash my face."
They nodded, not suspecting a thing.
But his heart was already in his throat.
His thoughts went a mile per minute, overthinking every little movement he did during that short interaction.
“Did they notice?”
“Did I look weird?”
He walked briskly to the bathroom, head bowed like a criminal caught in a lie. The second the door shut behind him, his breath escaped in a shudder.
Heavy and shaky as if he had been holding it in his entire life.
He twisted the faucet. Cold water ran.
He splashed it over his face — once, twice. The cold stung his skin. Good. He needed it to.
Then, slowly, he lifted his eyes to the mirror.
A pale face, wet hair clinging to his forehead. Eyebags like bruises. Cracks at the edges of his mouth from dehydration. His eyes…
Empty. And too full.
He was shaking.
He gripped the sink harder to steady himself. But the pain was blooming too fast. That ugly, swelling ache. The kind that warned him—
If one more person smiled at him like that, he would cry.
Because it wasn’t fair.
He never got this.
He was just a man who read a webnovel in the dark. A man who barely scraped by. A man who wanted — no, begged — for stories to save him because nothing else ever did.
And now here he was, standing in a world where the characters of that novel were laughing and shouting and calling him hyung and asking him to sit with them like it was the most natural thing in the world.
His throat tightened.
What a cruel, cruel dream.
How dare it feel like home.
A drop of water fell. Not from the sink.
His vision blurred.
He gritted his teeth, turning away from the mirror.
What an ugly sight. He looked like utter shit.
He couldn’t cry. Not here. Not now.
If he cried, he wouldn't be able to pull himself back up. Never again.
But tears fell like a river. His cheeks beautifully flushed as he stopped breathing.
He held his breath whenever tears threatened to spill.
If he didn't breathe he wouldn't make a sound, his body wouldn't be able to break down any further and it would slowly stop.
Gradually his face relaxed. He had learned that this was the best way to cry.
If you let yourself frown and ugly cry, you won't stop no matter how much you try.
But if you just let them go, numb yourself and isolate yourself from the source of your pain.
You will gradually calm down, and realize that it doesn't matter.
Because in the end the final destination is death. And no matter what you do, nothing will matter. So why cry over it?
In front of death, nothing matters.
This has always been Kim Dokja's mindset.
One of the things that kept him from breaking down.