Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There used to be a time of joyful sunshine and brilliant smiles. A time where happiness was as simple as reaching inside himself and grasping onto the flicker of hope burning in his bosom like an eternal flame unwilling to be snuffed out.

But now…

Now there were only clouds and rainfall. Darkness and despair.

The smiles came less frequently. In fact, they were rare nowadays. Because how could one smile when no more hope remained?

Wei Wuxian stopped in his tracks when he encountered a line of people facing him in the downpour, their silhouettes dark against the muddy streets and thick sheets of rain. Some held brooms in their hands wielded like swords. Others curled their hands into fists as if itching for a fight.

He knew he could beat all these villagers in a fight. It would be as easy as raising his flute to his lips and playing a song to summon the dead to bend to his will.

But…

Chenqing remained limp in his hand, his arm at his side. He did not raise his spiritual weapon. No more fight remained within him even to protect himself. He was tired. The world hated him when all he tried to do was the right thing, even if it was impossible. It didn’t matter how righteous the act when everyone wanted vengeance for protecting the innocent.

Even if their family name was Wen.

“Wei Wuxian!” a man cried as he pointed to him through the layers upon layers of storm raining over their heads. “We will not allow you to raise your army of undead! Surrender your flute! Or we will fight!”

Rumors were dangerous things. The more preposterous, the more likely they were to spread. The more they spread, the more dangerous they became. And rumors never worked out in Wei Wuxian’s favor.

He remained silent.

No matter if he asked for proof about this so-called undead army, no one would believe him when he told them it didn’t exist. Talking to these villagers was useless.

And…

He was tired.

Uncaring that his black robes were completely drenched, Wei Wuxian simply stood still in the middle of the road. Watching. Waiting. He was so tired. Tired of hiding. Of running. Of fighting. Tired of the vast amounts of hatred aimed at himself. He couldn’t keep going. He didn’t want to keep going. He’d sacrificed so much. Too much. And left an empty shell of himself behind.

One by one, his fingers loosened around Chenqing until the flute fell out of his hand and clattered to the ground.

Silence deafened his ears. For a single moment, the rain stopped beating against the shingles of the nearby buildings. The storm ceased its windy howls. Puddles ceased their splashing.

And then the clamor returned at full force as the villagers released war cries as they rushed forward with their makeshift weapons.

Wei Wuxian didn’t fight back. He didn’t even lift his arms to defend himself. One of the villagers kicked him hard in the stomach. He flew backward and crashed onto the muddy road. Rocks scraped his arms. His elbows took the brunt of the fall.

Still, he didn’t fight back.

Someone kicked him. Another punched him. Broom handles cracked down on his shoulders, his back, his legs. He curled into a ball and protected his head with his arms.

Still, he didn’t fight back. Not when he had no fight left in him. He didn’t want to exist anymore. He was tired of fighting. Tired of surviving . If they wanted to kill him, then he’d let them. But he prayed they would finish the job quickly.

The pain of each attack only lasted for a short while until his body became numb with the shock from the blows. To hurt another person like this… He couldn’t fathom what sort of hatred would drive someone to such cruelty.

Just as one of the men drew a knife, Chenqing all on its own released a powerful blast, the dark spiritual energy slamming into the mob. People screamed. Others scrambled to their feet and sprinted away from the scene.

When silence once again pressed heavily on the atmosphere, Wei Wuxian lifted his aching head, the wounds he’d sustained throbbing as he tried to focus on the now-empty streets. Dizziness swept his vision from side to side, but otherwise he noticed everyone had run off in fear of Chenqing.

He wasn’t sure whether to thank or chastise the spiritual weapon for saving him.

With shaky hands, he picked the flute off the ground and brushed off the layer of mud. He then dragged his exhausted body to its feet, but he didn’t make it far before his injuries grounded him.

He slumped against a wooden pillar, unable to drag himself far enough to take shelter beneath the awning of the building. Instead, he winced as he shrugged out of his outer robe and used it as a poor excuse for a shelter. The damp fabric blocked out some of the rain, but otherwise his long, dark hair was plastered to his face. His red hair ribbon fixed itself against his clothing. Water dripped into his eyes.

Meaningless, he miserably thought to himself.

Yes, he’d saved the Wens. Yes, he’d established a safe place for them to live at the Burial Mounds, a place where no one could reach them without running into a few dozen traps he’d set into place.

But what about himself ? What about his happiness? His safety? His dreams and aspirations? What kind of future did he have?

A lonely one.

He dreamed of friends and family. He dreamed of laughter and happiness. He’d lost all of his friends the moment he’d saved the Wens. He never got to see Jiang Cheng nor Yanli anymore. Everyone hated him.

Hated…

Hated…

Hated…

His glazed eyes slowly slid from the pouring rain to Chenqing tucked into his belt. With bloodied, shaking hands, he slid the flute out and stared at the powerful weapon. It gleamed black in the dim light of a stormy dusk, a dark aura reaching out and curling around his fingers as if it knew the thoughts swirling within his mind.

He couldn’t.

He shouldn’t.

He wanted to.

If he destroyed Chenqing, the amount of power needed to accomplish the feat would kill him. And with a future so bleak and hopeless, he wanted to die. Because he had nothing left. Nothing to hope for. Nothing to live for. Nothing to look forward to.

A long, exhausted sigh escaped him where he huddled beneath the chill of his outer robe. He squeezed his eyes shut and made his final choice. He could not come back from this. But perhaps… Perhaps the world would be better without him in it.

With his eyes still closed, he reached within himself for the dark energy swirling within him. His power gathered in his chest, snaked down his arm, and pooled into Chenqing. The spiritual weapon grew hotter and hotter, screaming so loudly in his mind that he almost ceased the flow of power if only to cover his ears despite only hearing the sound within his head. He forced himself to keep going, to keep holding the weapon, to continue to endure the agonized screams.

Where his golden core used to reside now burned with dark energy. Hotter, hotter, hotter, until every fiber of his body wailed for mercy. There would be no mercy. He wanted to end it now. No more agony. No more torment. No more sadness or loneliness or despair. Just…

Nothing.

He wanted to feel nothing. To cease existing. And if Chenqing wouldn’t allow others to finish the deed, then he would do it himself.

He gasped in a searing breath, feeling his lungs burn as if he stood inside an oven and struggled for air. Internal instincts beat against the hot bricks, begging for a way out. He refused to open the door. Not this time. He needed reprieve from his agony. So desperately.

Just as he reached within himself for more power, a soft scuffle in front of him startled him enough to slip on his concentration. All of his spiritual power snapped back into him with a jolting lurch. No longer was he inside the oven, fighting against his desire to break himself out. Rather, raindrops splatted against his robe over his head. A chill crawled up his arms and settled into his bones.

And peeking out from the hem of the robe covering him…

White and blue robes brushing against white boots.

Wei Wuxian tried to hide his pained grimace as he lifted his makeshift shelter higher to find Lan Wangji standing over him, staring with those inexpressive light eyes made more prominent by the smooth complexion of his jade-like skin.

The moment their eyes met, Lan Wangji’s expression hardened, his eyebrows pulling together the slightest bit.

Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure what to say. Therefore, he settled for silence. Lan Wangji had judged him for his past choices and judged him again. What was he going to do? Slap a silencing spell on him anyways? Place a petrification talisman on him and cart him back to Gusu to face some sort of punishment?

It was too much. He couldn’t take anymore. He couldn’t…

A flash of heat coursed through him and settled in his head as a fever after his bout of spiritual exertion. His head spun, his mind growing dizzier by the second. He ended up slumping against the nearby post, his hand collapsing to the ground with Chenqing still between his fingers.

Maybe…maybe he was successful after all.

Maybe…

He might finally find peace.

Lan Wangji’s hands braced against his shoulders before he lifted the robe from Wei Wuxian’s head. Through hazy vision, Wei Wuxian barely managed to spot the light color of the man’s eyes. Lan Wangji placed a hand against his forehead, then his cheek, before finally settling on his wrist as if checking his pulse.

Wordlessly, Lan Wangji scooped Wei Wuxian into his arms. A part of him wanted to protest. To struggle out of his arms to protect some measure of his dignity. But another part of him had already given up. He didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to speak. Didn’t want to keep trying. He just wanted to exist in some sort of nothingness bliss.

Lan Wangji mounted his sword, Bichen, and sped off through the rainy skies while carrying him seemingly without effort. After a few moments of a chilly wind hitting him at full force and freezing his entire body, he allowed himself to close his eyes and succumb to Lan Wangji’s faint warmth emanating from his torso and the hope that this nightmare might finally end.

Chapter Text

Wei Wuxian slowly blinked open his eyes, waking to a heavy warmth lying on top of him. Weighted. Comfortable.

He squinted against the flickering firelight coming from across the room, his gaze slowly coming into focus until he noticed several blankets lying over him. His clothing had been changed into something dry and comfortable, and although his hair was a little bit damp, it appeared as if it had been combed and detangled.

A red hair ribbon lay on the table beside the bed, dry and folded neatly. Too neatly. Suspiciously neatly.

Surely, it was the work of a Lan.

His attention shifted toward the opposite end of the room where he caught sight of majestic white robes, long black hair, and an impassive yet gentle face. From where Lan Wangji stirred something inside a pot with steam wafting upward, his head darted up, and he dropped his wooden spoon entirely in favor of crossing the room in a few strides.

The other man touched Wei Wuxian’s head, his cheek, his neck. Possibly checking for a fever. It still remained, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been earlier.

Lan Wangji propped pillows behind him, left his bedside for only a few seconds, and returned with what appeared to be a steaming bowl of congee.

Wei Wuxian turned his head, choosing to stare out the window rather than looking this man in the eye. No self-respect remained for him to face such an imposing beauty.

He coughed at the thought, trying to chase it away the same way he’d attempted it over the past few years.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmured. “You must eat.”

Rather than replying, he closed his eyes and released a long, weary breath. How much had Lan Wangji seen? How much did he know?

Shame burned through his soul, followed by self-loathing. To have tried what he’d tried and to have gotten caught. What must his peer think of him?

The bowl gave a faint clink as Lan Wangji set the congee aside. He picked up a washcloth and carefully dabbed at an open cut on Wei Wuxian’s arm.

He knew he should have pulled away, to place distance between them. But the slender, beautiful shape of Lan Wangji’s fingers captivated his attention. He’d never seen such graceful hands before. Especially not on a man.

Stinging pain burned his injury. He couldn’t help but hiss through his teeth and try to retract his arm. However, Lan Wangji kept a steady grip on his hand, refusing to let go. Wei Wuxian tried to endure the pain. It was nothing compared to so many other injuries he’d suffered throughout the years. But somehow… He felt vulnerable and soft in front of Lan Wangji, and he wasn’t sure why.

Lan Wangji gently wrapped a white bandage around his arm and tied it over the cut to apply pressure to it. The wound uncomfortably throbbed with each pulse of his heart. In fact, many places on his body throbbed in such a way when the villagers had beaten him up quite soundly.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmured. It was only his name, but the way he said it, the infliction of his voice, indicated he wanted answers.

Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian was loathe to give them to him.

“I should have stepped in sooner,” Lan Wangji said with a sigh. “Another regret. They keep piling up.”

At the mention, Wei Wuxian’s gaze darted in the other man’s direction to find him staring somberly at the roll of bandages in his hands.

Wei Wuxian almost laughed at the reverse in roles. He was the one who had no desire to talk while Lan Wangji was doing all the talking. But Wei Wuxian still didn’t feel like existing. Therefore, he kept his mouth shut.

When Lan Wangji seemed to realize he had no intention of speaking, he said, “I thought you’d fight back. But you…” He trailed off, shocking Wei Wuxian with the torture shining back at him through moist eyes.

Ugh. Not talking was too hard.

“How much…” His raspy voice halted his sentence, not wanting to finish it. Not wanting to know.

Tucking in the blankets around Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji replied, “I…got a bad feeling. And I went looking for you in Yiling. I saw all of it. But I…” His voice wavered, the moisture in his eyes reflecting beneath the firelight glow of the hearth.

To his shock, Lan Wangji lifted a hand and brushed a thumb against the corner of Wei Wuxian’s mouth. “You don’t smile anymore. That’s how I know something is wrong.”

“You haven’t even seen me in a year.”

“I…” A guilty grimace pulled at Lan Wangji’s lips. “I have seen you. A few times. You just didn’t know.”

Nothing made sense anymore. Why would Lan Wangji of all people keep tabs on him?

Despite the pain in his body, he crossed his arms and turned his head away. “Spying on me? Trying to see if I’ll do something nefarious?”

“No.” Lan Wangji turned Wei Wuxian’s head back toward him with a gentle hand against his jaw. “You refused to come to Gusu with me. I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

All of Wei Wuxian’s defenses dropped in favor of complete and absolute shock. Was there really…really someone who cared about him? But…but…if that someone was Lan Wangji, had he misinterpreted the other man’s intentions? Had he misinterpreted their strained relationship?

“I don’t understand,” he finally said in a small, pathetic voice.

Lan Wangji’s long, dark eyelashes shadowed his cheekbones as he glanced into his lap, quiet for a moment as if trying to find the right words. Wei Wuxian waited patiently. Well, somewhat patiently. He really wanted answers.

While he waited for a response, he glanced about the room. It was only large enough for one bed, one hearth, and one table, with a bathtub hidden behind a screen in the corner. A room at an inn. They were likely still in Yiling judging by the soft patter of raindrops on the roof overhead.

“You are sad.” Lan Wangji lifted his head and met his gaze. The intensity of his light eyes caused his stomach to flip and flop inside him, churning with butterflies as his pulse thrummed quickly at his neck. Internally, he chastised himself for such a reaction to his friend.

When Wei Wuxian didn’t answer, Lan Wangji continued, “Do you miss your family?”

The Wens were his family now. But it just wasn’t the same. Not when he felt so miserable and disheartened by how the world now treated him.

Wei Wuxian squeezed his hands into fists, trying to keep his emotions in check. He would not break down in front of Gusu’s Jade. He would never recover from such humiliation.

Lan Wangji rested his feather-light fingers on top of his hand. And that was all it took for his dam to break, and everything came tumbling out in a rush of sadness and anger. Frustration and devastation.

“I’ve always tried to maintain a positive attitude, but it’s so hard! I lived on the streets as a child for years. Starving and alone. And when the Jiangs took me in, Yu Ziyuan beat me regularly. She said it was my fault the Wens attacked the clan. That all of their deaths were my fault. But all I’ve ever tried to do was the right thing.” Hot tears trailed fast and hard down his cheeks. “And then…and then…” He swiped a hand across his cheek but the tears kept coming. “I made a monumental, irreversible sacrifice for Jiang Cheng, forcing me to walk the ghost path. The world hates me for doing what I felt was right. I am sad and lonely and I can’t take this anymore! So what if you saw me at my lowest point? It changes nothing. I can’t keep going on like this!”

He took a deep breath, struggling for air after his rushed tirade. He expected Lan Wangji to stare at him judgingly. But to his surprise, he didn’t.

Rather, Lan Wangji pulled a handkerchief out of his sleeve and dabbed gently at Wei Wuxian’s tears. His face was tender from his previous beating, and when he winced, his friend’s touch became even gentler.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmured softly. “I want to tell you a story about a dragon.”

“A dragon?” What did that have to do with any of this?

“Mn. He had everything in the world. He was powerful and respected. He was kind. Handsome. Gracious. And he loved humans deeply. When people came to him for help, he’d give them a scale to grant their wish. One scale may not seem like a lot, but after a time, he developed a bare patch here and another there. And after many years, he only had one scale left to give. Because he loved the humans greatly, he gave up his last scale, the one that guarded his heart. One last human came to him asking for his wish to be granted, but the dragon had no scales left to give. The human killed the dragon in his anger, the once majestic being now reduced to nothing but flesh and bones in his death.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t like what this story implied. “You are saying I’m easy to take advantage of.”

The other man shook his head. “You love so deeply, Wei Ying, that you give so much and leave nothing for yourself. You are such a good person, and you want to help others. But what about you? Who’s looking after you?”

Lan Wangji tapped a finger against Wei Wuxian’s chest directly over his heart as if to tie the end of the story back to him.

Blinking rapidly, he replied, “Maybe the dragon was not meant to have a happy ending. What if he was really the villain?”

Lan Wangji gave him a half-lidded, incredulous look, almost as if he were internally rolling his eyes. He wasn’t sure. He hadn’t been around the other man too much lately as to understand his subtle facial cues.

“You are a complicated person, Wei Ying. But you aren’t a villain. Not even close.”

“The world begs to differ. My situation is hopeless. There is no future for me.”

“There is always another path than the one you see for yourself.”

“Like what?” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “I know I am only biding my time before someone comes for me. I’m tired of running and hiding. I’m tired of always looking over my shoulder. I’m just… tired , Wangji.”

“You must find the strength to keep going.”

“How?!” His outburst didn’t even make Lan Wangji flinch. He should have replied more patiently but he was frustrated and overwhelmed. What more could he do? What more could he do?!

“I have a solution.” Lan Wangji bit his lip, turning his head away as if embarrassed. “The Lans have a good reputation. More importantly, I have a good reputation. I want to ask…” His hands clenched and unclenched as if churning uncomfortable words in his mind. He released a shaky sigh and lifted his head to meet his gaze. “The reason why people dare to go after you now is because you defected from the Yunmeng Jiang Clan, from the clan leader who is your family. No one would dare otherwise.”

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “The reason I left is because I can’t keep putting Jiang Cheng in impossible situations. I don’t belong there anymore. I can’t go back.”

“I was suggesting something else.”

He cautiously looked the other man up and down, noting his impassive expression. But the way his fingers twitched gave away his nervousness, and perhaps the faintest downturn of his mouth. It was nearly imperceptible. But it was there.

“What?” he asked in a whisper, unable to hide the hope from leaking through his voice.

Maybe he could try again. Just one more time. Just maybe . 

More finger twitching, followed by a flush crawling to Lan Wangji’s ears. But perhaps the shadows from the flickering hearth distorted the truth. 

Another shaky breath before Lan Wangji replied. “I know of a way to prevent anyone from ever touching you again, let alone speak poorly of you. No matter what you have done. No matter what actions others haven’t agreed with.”

“Hanguang-Jun, you really are taking your time. What is it? Tell me already!”

The corner of Lan Wangji’s mouth twitched as if holding off a smile. But then his fists clenched in his lap. “Marry me. Become my spouse. As my partner, no one will dare hurt you again.”

Wei Wuxian stared.

And stared.

And stared some more. 

Disbelief beat hard against his chest, and he wondered for a moment if he’d heard wrong, if he’d imagined Lan Wangji’s proposal. 

But as he searched the other’s eyes, as he looked for a teasing spark or ingenuity, he found none.

A furious blush climbed his body and settled in his face. He’d never been married before. Never been in a relationship. He’d…he’d never even kissed anyone!

Well, except for that time a year ago when some unknown person had stolen a kiss beneath a tree while he was blindfolded. He still didn’t know who had done it, as they had never stepped forward to confess to the kiss.

“I’m a man!” Wei Wuxian protested, eyes wide. 

“Mn “

“You’re a man!’

“Mn.”

“But…but…we’d be cut sleeves!”

“A difficult trial socially, yes. People will talk. But you would be able to rejoin the cultivation world. You could visit your family again.” Lan Wangji paused, a look of uncertainty between his brows. “Unless you are otherwise attached.”

“Attached?!” Wei Wuxian squeaked, internally panicking despite Lan Wangji’s calm demeanor. “I’ve only ever been kissed once!” Oops, he shouldn’t have revealed that. How embarrassing. Especially when the other man’s eyes wavered with surprise. But now that it was out there… “I’ve never even held a girl’s hand! I don’t know how to be a spouse. I’d be terrible at it!”

“I don’t care. I just…” Lan Wangji hesitantly took his hand and intimately weaved his slender fingers with his own, shutting him up immediately. Was this the first time he’d ever held someone’s hand? It was…warm. And surprisingly pleasant. “I want to protect you. A world without you is…unimaginable.”

Unimaginable…

The word echoed in his mind long after it left Lan Wangji’s lips. He tried to make sense of it. Churning it around in his head. Silently tasting the word on his tongue. He’d never been more confused. What about all the times Lan Wangji had warned him from taking the ghost path? The times he’d begged him to return to the path of light. Or all the times he’d asked him to come to Gusu, likely for reprimanding and correction.

Hadn’t Lan Wangji hated him all this time? Jiang Cheng had certainly let him know on more than one occasion that he was a thorn in Lan Wangji’s side. However, all of that no longer made sense when Lan Wangji stared back at him with such care in his eyes. When he bound his injuries and made him food. When he intertwined his fingers with his own as a lover might do.

His attention fixed on their fingers, a raging flush nesting in his cheeks once more. By asking for Wei Wuxian’s hand, Lan Wangji would be sacrificing so much. His reputation. His dignity. Possibly even the good opinion of others.

All for what?

The world’s number one most hated person?

“I-I-I don’t k-k-know,” Wei Wuxian stuttered. “I c-c-can’t…” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I can’t ask you to sacrifice so much for me.”

“You’re not asking. I am.”

“Associating with me is bad for your health.”

“I’ll take the risk.”

“I’m the Yiling Patriarch!”

“I would rest easier knowing you are safe by my side.”

Wei Wuxian just stared at Lan Wangji in disbelief. Of all the things to happen today, this was something he had not expected in the slightest. However, resolute determination lived in Lan Wangji’s eyes. Almost as if he’d planned this proposal long before now.

He sat back against the pillows, overtaken by the toll of exhaustion. He’d never expected this. For someone to care enough about him to do something so monumental. All of this left him reeling.

“Can I have some time to think about this? Can I sleep on it?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn.”

The other man retracted his fingers, settled back in the chair beside the bed, and fixed his attention on the book he opened. After a few beats of confused silence, Wei Wuxian couldn’t stand it any longer.

“You don’t have to watch over me. I promise I won’t…” I won’t try to hurt myself again.

Without glancing up from his book, Lan Wangji replied, “I don’t want you to feel alone tonight.”

Emotion struck him like lightning through the chest. For so long, he’d been alone, only wishing for a friend to ease his lonely heart. He wasn’t sure how to process Lan Wangji’s proposal or his comforting companionship.

But…

A spark of light filled his soul with the will to keep trying, for giving himself another chance. He reached for the bowl of congee on the table beside him, and he took a bite of the food Lan Wangji had prepared for him.

It was delicious.

Chapter Text

One would think that after receiving a beating like he had, he would have stayed in bed longer. But Wei Wuxian had tossed and turned all night, considering his future. 

His future.  

Only hours ago, he’d had no future worth living for. But now? Lan Wangji had sparked something in him he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Hope.

Another door had been opened for him. True, the path ahead wasn’t conventional. It would be difficult. But why then did it cause his stomach to flutter? Why did it make him feel lighter? Happy? Excited? 

His gaze darted toward the white bundle lying on the floor on a straw mat, sleeping with a proper pose and peaceful expression.

Ignoring his aching body, Wei Wuxian padded softly across the floor, and as he neared Lan Wangji, he crawled quietly the rest of the way on his hands and knees. 

Now at the other man’s side, he sat back on his ankles and watched him sleep. Lan Wangji was… beautiful. Beautiful and serene and the object of every girl’s fancy while growing up. 

Wei Wuxian recalled watching Mianmian confess when they were all at the Cloud Recesses for training several years ago. She’d tried to give him a gift after confessing. He hadn’t even reached out to take it nor apologized for not returning her feelings. He’d simply turned and walked away. 

Every girl had had a crush on the Jade at least once in their lifetime. And unfortunately, Wei Wuxian was no exception despite his gender. But unlike others, his fancy had never dissipated.

Always, he had pushed away those feelings, refusing to ponder them. But after Lan Wangji’s proposal, he finally allowed himself to explore those feelings. Attraction. Admiration. Excitement. Nervousness. Hope.

There was still so much he didn’t understand, especially about Lan Wangji and his motivations. He wanted answers. But to what questions, exactly? 

His gaze fixed to the forehead ribbon Lan Wangji wore, even at night. What would he look like without it five years after Wei Wuxian had accidentally taken it off the first time? Lan Wangji had been so angry with him back then. What about now? 

He had always been attracted to doing things he knew he shouldn’t do, and Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon was especially tempting. 

He reached out and ran the tip of his finger over Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon, marveling at the soft material and the intricate pattern. 

He followed its trail to the side of his head, and then down over his long hair. Should they marry, would Wei Wuxian be expected to wear one of these? He couldn’t imagine himself with one, mostly because he knew he’d likely develop bad habits to cure his restless energy by chewing on it, twirling it, tugging it, and whatever else. He would accidentally destroy it in record time. 

Curiosity still led his actions as he ghosted his finger over Lan Wangji’s soft facial features, close but not touching. He wanted to touch. He wanted to explore. But he also didn’t want the other man to wake up and catch him in the act. 

More slowly, his gaze roamed over long, dark eyelashes. Skin like jade. A serene expression. As he fixed his attention on his lips, he realized he’d never seen him smile. What would it look like? 

Wei Wuxian found it difficult to imagine Lan Wangji with a smile at all. He never smiled. He never laughed. But he always seemed in good spirits despite not showing it the way others might. 

Taking a small risk, he used the tips of his fingers to lightly pull either side of Lan Wangji’s lips upward to give him a smile.

It was a mistake. 

Lan Wangji was absolutely breathtaking with a smile, and now his heart thundered in his chest at the revelation. 

Before he managed to retract his fingers, Lan Wangji woke suddenly and grabbed both his hands, gazing back at him questioningly. 

Wei Wuxian should have been abashed. He should have been apologetic. But he was only curious.

“How many relationships have you been in?” he asked in a whisper. 

The other man didn’t answer but continued to hold onto his hands.

His mouth twisted to the side in a half pout. After everything he’d confessed to, would his friend really stay silent? 

“How many girls have you kissed?”

More silence. Was Lan Wangji even awake? Or had he completely exhausted himself by speaking too many words yesterday? Wei Wuxian wouldn’t be surprised if he averaged a total of ten words per day. He’d spoken far more than that last night.

Wei Wuxian wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “How many boys have you kissed?”

Lan Wangji’s throat bobbed up and down, barely visible in the early morning light. “One.”

He gasped and reeled back, placing a hand against his own heart in exaggerated shock. “Hanguang-Jun! Here you are, making me feel bad about turning you into a cut-sleeve while you already are one yourself! I’ll have you know that I don’t feel so bad anymore.”

Light sparked in Lan Wangji’s eyes as he pushed himself into a sitting position. “You have decided?”

Wei Wuxian waved a nonchalant hand. “What’s a few more stares and judging whispers? I already deal with that and more on a daily basis. Might as well scandalize some cultivators while I’m at it.”

To his complete shock, Lan Wangji threw his arms around Wei Wuxian’s neck and buried his face into his shoulder, holding on tight.

For a moment, his hands flailed in surprise. He didn’t know how to react to Lan Wangji showing affection of any sort. He hadn’t even been aware he could show affection.

Quickly giving in and taking advantage of the rare situation, Wei Wuxian returned the embrace and released a shaky breath of relief into the other man’s chest. He could hardly believe this was happening. That he was going to get married. To Lan Wangji of all people. He almost expected to wake up and discover all of this had been a dream.

He clutched on tighter to the back of Lan Wangji’s white robes, not wanting to let go. He was so grateful. He cared so much for this man. How could he possibly deserve all that he offered? 

“Thank you,” he whispered so quietly that he wouldn’t have been surprised if Lan Wangji failed to hear it. 

But his friend tightened his arms around him and murmured, “Mn.”

After another beat of silence, he asked, “When?”

“Today.”

“Today?!”

“Mn.”

Wei Wuxian pushed Lan Wangji at arm’s length and glanced back and forth between his eyes. “My, my, my. So eager, Hanguang-Jun.”

“Safe faster,” was all he said. He truly was exhausted of all his words. 

He ducked his head and smiled softly. “Alright. Today, then.”

Lan Wangji gently touched the corner of Wei Wuxian’s lips, touched his smile . 

His heart replied with warmth. True, happy warmth. For the first time in a long time.

Chapter Text

“Are you certain?” Lan Wangji asked, his hands hovering over Wei Wuxian as if ready to catch him should his knees give out.

“Yes, yes.” He pushed Lan Wangji’s hands away, but he noticed he still kept them raised the slightest bit. “I’m not going to sit by and let you do all the hard work on our wedding day.” He tried his best to conceal the flush of fever that still latched onto his forehead and face. “But really, you don’t need to buy wedding robes for me. It still counts even if they’re black.”

“Red,” Lan Wangji insisted. “For good luck.”

Lan Wangji led him into the Yiling market where merchants sold their morning wares. Not one to dally long, Lan Wangji single-mindedly led him past stalls and dozens of haggling buyers and toward a clothing shop. But before they entered, he pulled Wei Wuxian aside beneath a plum blossom tree, the pink, flowering petals in full bloom.

His heart ached at the bittersweet sight. These trees were abundant at Lotus Pier where he used to live. The thought of never returning again to witness them in all their glory created an ache in his heart.

No.

Lan Wangji was doing this so he could return home someday. It would happen. He had to believe it.

A light tap on his arm pulled his attention back to his surroundings to find Lan Wangji unfolding a handkerchief to reveal a white jade hairpin as pure as moonlight.

“A betrothal gift,” Lan Wangji explained.

Wei Wuxian inhaled sharply, his face heating up even more on top of his already existing fever. “That’s really not necessary, Lan Zhan. You don’t have to spoil me with gifts.”

“A betrothal gift,” he repeated more forcefully.

The determined look in Lan Wangji’s eyes gave him pause, confusing him now more than ever. What was this? What were they?

True, Lan Wangji was the more traditional type. If he really wanted to hit all the beats of a traditional marriage, who was he to stop him? But he might have to draw the line at being carried in a red sedan.

He ducked his head, silently giving permission for Lan Wangji to tuck the hairpin into his hair, held in securely by the red ribbon pulling the top portion of his hair to the back of his head. He wasn’t sure if it was fluster or his fever filling his entire body with heat.

But then his eyes widened when he realized… In a traditional marriage, the bride also presented a gift to her betrothed.

Embarrassment flushed his cheeks.

“Oh…I…” He bit his lip when he realized he had nothing of value to offer. He had enough money to purchase one steamed bun, but that was such a pitiful amount. Too embarrassing to give as a betrothal gift.

He’d abandoned his sword, Suibian, at the Burial Mounds, leaving his spiritual weapon he could no longer use without a golden core with Wen Ning. Chenqing refused to answer him, giving him the cold shoulder after almost destroying it. Everything else he owned he wore on his body. But it was equally embarrassing and pathetic to offer something like a robe or a shoe. He’d rather shame himself by not giving a gift at all than offer something like that.

Ah! I got it!

When Wei Wuxian reached for Bichen, Lan Wangji lifted a hand as if to stop him. But when he seemed to realize he meant no harm to himself, the other man relaxed and allowed him to draw Bichen from its sheath. He used the sharp blade to carefully cut a strand from the bottom layers of his hair, followed by the end of his red hair ribbon. He returned the sword to its sheath and reached for Lan Wangji next, braiding his hair and ribbon into a strand of Lan Wangji’s hair.

As he braided, his eyes softened at the memories filling his mind. “My shijie once told me that someone’s hair was one of the greatest gifts one can give because it’s so special and sacred, something no one can cut nor touch unless it’s your family or spouse. She said women think it’s a romantic gesture. I mean, you’re no woman. This is probably a pathetic offering compared to yours. But giving you a piece of me is kinda…uh, well…romantic, yeah?”

When he finished the braid, Lan Wangji lifted it so the three pieces rested in the palm of his hand. He stared long and hard, betraying nothing of his thoughts in his inexpressive face.

Wei Wuxian bit his lip again, a prickle of uncertainty swimming within him. Was it a bad gift? Should he have gone with the shoe instead?

In a flash of movement, Lan Wangji drew his blade and cut the braid from his hair, the three pieces tightly woven together. He then handed it to Wei Wuxian, silently asking for him to tie it around his wrist.

A blush warmed his cheeks as he tied it securely around the other man’s wrist, a conspicuous place where he would be able to see it always.

“Ah. Lan Zhan,” he murmured, not knowing what else to say when his blush likely said everything he wanted to conceal. He realized he was not going to survive this marriage if it was in name only. Not when simply exchanging gifts gave him these types of feelings.

But he still didn’t know where he stood with Lan Wangji. Not really. What kind of marriage was this? And did Wei Wuxian want it to be more? What about his betrothed? What did he want out of all of this aside from keeping Wei Wuxian safe?

Lan Wangji reached for Wei Wuxian’s jade hairpin. “Not good enough.”

“Lan Zhan!” He smacked the other man’s hand away, shocked that something so precious was deemed not good enough. “I like it. I love it! It’s perfect.” It was jade to always remind him of one of the twin Jades. Of Lan Wangji. He couldn’t think of a more perfect betrothal gift. “Come, come. Wedding robes next if you still insist. I look really good in red, so prepare yourself.”

He shuffled inside the shop, his back turned to Lan Wangji to hide his conflicting feelings. In name only. That was probably what Lan Wangji wanted. He couldn’t overstep.

Like anywhere he went, Lan Wangji immediately drew notice from the shop owner, who practically groveled at the man’s feet as he showed off the “latest fashion” and the “must-need items” for cultivators. 

Wei Wuxian took advantage of the distraction to slip away from the two to view the selection of wedding robes already made. He quickly got lost in all the fabric, overwhelmed by the choices and lack of knowledge of how to dress himself for his own wedding. Where was Shijie when he needed her most?

His spirits dampened when he realized he would be alone for this monumental event in his life. No Jiang Cheng. No Yanli. No friends or acquaintances. No parents. He could go to the Burial Mounds, but he’d already risked Lan Wangji’s reputation enough. 

But he’d have Lan Wangji.

His fingers curled around the red fabric of a robe embroidered with gold thread. His heart picked up its pace when he realized they were eloping . People did that alone, anyway. He didn’t feel quite so bad anymore. 

He released all his pent-up anxiety in the form of a sigh. “Alright,” he whispered to himself, trying to think of how his shijie would have helped him through this process. “Red inner robe. Red outer robe. Hair accessory. Keep it simple.”

He gathered a few items to try on, but when he thought he might have grabbed too many things, he glanced uncertainly at Lan Wangji, afraid he was spending too much of his money. But the man’s mouth curved the faintest bit.

His breath caught when he realized he was witnessing a smile. It was hardly noticeable. Just the faintest deviation from his usual impassive expression. But it was a smile . 

His heart warmed, giving him the courage to try out another ribbon for his hair. He silently promised not to spend too much. And whatever he did spend, he would pay it back. Times two. Maybe five. Alright, two. He was poor.

A sudden dizziness took hold of his head followed by a flush of warmth climbing his neck and burning his forehead. A high-pitched ring burst forth from his ears, drowning out all other sounds around him.

His hand flew to his head to find it burning with another fever, and then to his nose to discover blood dripping from it.

“Lan Zhan,” he rasped in a barely audible voice, reaching out to nothing in particular in his sudden distress. But just as he felt like he might collapse, a slender hand slid into his own, another supporting his waist while leading him to a nearby bench where he finally collapsed.

A cool burst of spiritual energy entered his body. Searching. Seeking for the pain. Before it finally settled around his chest like a cool layer of frost and again at his head, taking away the fever little by little until it was only an uncomfortable warmth.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, squinting against the seemingly bright light surrounding Lan Wangji’s silhouette.

“No need.”

“No. I’m sorry .” How to explain without feeling the heavy weight of shame and guilt on his shoulders? It seemed as if there was no avoiding it. “This is my fault. I hurt myself. I…I…” I almost ended my own life. And now I’m suffering the consequences from its failure.

Lan Wangji knelt to one knee in front of him, continuing to direct his spiritual energy through Wei Wuxian’s body. “I said no need.”

He sighed, slumping his shoulders with exhaustion. “Alright.” After a minute of silence and healing, he laughed humorlessly as he played with the end of the tassel dangling from his flute. “Chenqing is upset with me. He won’t play for me right now.”

“You must treat your spiritual weapons with respect.”

“Yeah…” It was just another thing to add onto the lengthy list of people and weapons and objects that didn’t like him.

The thought spiraled him into a vat of discouragement and disappointment. Was all this effort even worth it? Healing his body. Earning back Chenqing’s trust and respect. Making amends with the cultivation world.

It was too much.

He couldn’t do it.

He just couldn’t.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmured, placing a comforting hand on top of his own as if sensing his shift in mood. “Spiritual weapons forgive easily. It won’t take long.”

“Okay.”

He released a long, slow breath. He was tired of the constant uphill battles. He didn’t think he had the strength to take even one more step up the steep incline. Everything was impossibly hard. It would be so much easier to just cease to exist.

Sucked into his own depressing thoughts, he hadn’t noticed Lan Wangji leave his side until he returned and offered a rattle drum as if he were a child in need of consoling. Instead of finding offense to the offering, his eyes lit up excitedly as he took the rattle drum from him and banged the beads back and forth, back and forth, creating a deep, reverberating rhythm filled with comfort during a trying time.

His eyes softened as he watched the beads hit either side of the drum. It brought him back to a time of cold and misery and loneliness. But it was a happy memory rather than one of sadness.

“I remember when I was a child when I first met you, Lan Zhan. I don’t expect you to remember, but it was the very first act of kindness I’d received in a long time. It…it…” He found it difficult to accurately describe what it meant to him, but he wanted to try.

The back and forth motion of the rattle drum mesmerized him as he continued his tale, “I had worn my clothing until they were rags hanging off my body. My shoes had long since frayed and fallen off my feet. I was cold and shivering during the winter with nowhere to go. Nothing to eat. No hope to hold onto. But then I looked up, and you were there. Just staring at me. You offered me your rattle drum. Not saying a word. But your gift brought me so much happiness.” He glanced up to find Lan Wangji watching him intently. “Your notice of me was what got the attention of Jiang Fengmian, and he saved me from the streets. Gave me a home. I think it’s all thanks to you.”

When Lan Wangji ducked his head bashfully, his ears turning pink, Wei Wuxian ceased his drumming as curiosity got the best of him.

“Do you remember me from back then?” he asked.

Lan Wangji nodded.

“Really?!” he gasped, his internal woes momentarily forgotten. “Then what did you think of me when we met again? At the Cloud Recesses?”

“You were loud.”

“Oh.” Wei Wuxian pouted. “I’m not entirely sure I like that first impression of me.”

After a pause, Lan Wangji added, “And I liked that you gave me a lot of attention.”

“Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.” His eyes shot open when the other man’s words finally sank in. “Wait, what?! ”

But instead of answering, Lan Wangji crossed the shop to inspect red wedding robes for himself, once again trailed by the groveling shopkeeper.

Wei Wuxian trailed his friend with his eyes, watching his graceful movements, trying to read his microexpressions. Pink still tinged the man’s ears, but his face otherwise betrayed nothing of his thoughts or emotions.

So… He liked his attention, did he? But Lan Wangji had never before received Wei Wuxian’s shamelessly flirting attention. How would he react?

After the bit of healing from Lan Wangji’s spiritual energy, he found himself able to stand on his feet without toppling over. But his betrothed didn’t know that…

He moved slowly, feigning looking at the items for sale around him as he moved closer and closer to Lan Wangji. He turned around and pretended to trip over his own foot. Although his energy stores were low, they weren’t so low that he couldn’t catch himself if necessary.

However, as Wei Wuxian started to fall, Lan Wangji was already there, catching him around the waist. Wei Wuxian clung around his neck, their faces close together. Close enough for him to feel the other man’s breath caressing his cheek.

He gave Lan Wangji a pitiful look, though he didn’t have to fake the wince from where his arm still sported several deep bruises.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, his voice inflection asking if he was alright. He was getting better at understanding him. At least he thought so.

Wei Wuxian glanced at his betrothed through lowered lashes, attempting a sultry if not damsel-in-distress sort of look. “I think I hurt my ankle. You may have to carry me, Lan Zhan.”

“You need more rest.”

Placing his foot on the ground, he once more feigned his leg collapsing beneath him so he could cling tighter to Lan Wangji, pulling their faces even closer to one another.

“You’re probably right.” Oh, Wei Wuxian could be even more shameless if he tried. But judging by how red Lan Wangji’s ears had turned, he was very near to imploding. The Hanguang-Jun could only take so much teasing and flirting before he imploded in some way or another.

“Ah,” he said, placing his foot back on the ground and running his hands down Lan Wangji’s chest to smooth his robes. “Must have been a moment of weakness. I can probably stand on it a little while longer.”

Lan Wangji spun around to face the opposite direction, this time covering his ears with his hands. Wei Wuxian wanted to laugh but he forced himself to remain silent. Some things never changed no matter Lan Wangji’s age.

They bought their sets of wedding robes, and Wei Wuxian barely managed to keep up with Lan Wangji as he quickly strode out of there. Oops. He must have been too shameless if the other man couldn’t even look him in the eye. He wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or bad. Had he taken it too far? Or not far enough?

The sight of the Burial Mounds in the distance caused him to slow down until he stopped in his tracks entirely. People whispered around him, seemingly to recognize who he was. But none approached. He gave them no heed. Not when his attention remained fixed ahead. His actions may have stolen his future. But he didn’t regret saving the Wens. He only regretted that he couldn’t save himself.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji must have realized he wasn’t following and backtracked, now standing a step beside him.

“I was just thinking,” he said, pulling out his white jade hairpin and absently placing it in his mouth, his lips and tongue playing with the tip of it. Lan Wangji stared at his lips. Either he was entirely transfixed, or he vehemently disapproved of his treatment of the hairpin. See?! This was why he couldn’t wear the Lan forehead ribbon. He’d destroy it far too quickly by accident.

“About what?”

“Where to hold the ceremony. Probably shouldn’t go to Gusu yet. Burial Mounds would be bad for you. Someone might interrupt at the inn.”

“The shrine for your parents,” Lan Wangji suggested.

Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes at his betrothed and pointed his hairpin at his face. “You have been following me. How else would you know about the shrine?”

“Making sure you are safe. Different.”

He finally couldn’t hold himself back. He burst into laughter, doubling over from amusement at the ironic situation. How long had he thought Lan Wangji hated him? How long had he thought they’d been at irreparable odds?

When he righted himself, a smile still tugging on his lips, he noticed Lan Wangji’s attention once more fixed on his mouth. Wei Wuxian decided he rather enjoyed Lan Wangji’s attention, too. He wanted it more often.

“Fine, fine.” He waved a hand, gesturing for the other man to follow. “I think there is no better place."

Lan Wangji caught onto that hand with his own, shutting him up faster than a starving Jiang Cheng rushing into a banquet. He still didn’t know what this was. What they were. But…

He really liked the warmth and peace it brought to his soul.

Chapter Text

On more than one occasion, Wei Wuxian had heard the term “cold feet.” He’d never thought it would apply to him. One, he’d never wanted to tie himself to anyone, to give someone else power and influence over his heart. And two, he just never thought he’d marry at all.

So as he stood in front of Lan Wangji, both of them wearing red wedding robes, he got cold feet. Not because he was rethinking the marriage. But because he knew—he knew —he did not belong at this man’s side.

Lan Wangji stood before him. Majestic. Beautiful. Perfect. Absolutely radiant.

And Wei Wuxian… Well, he was just…

Villain.

Outcast.

Scourge of the earth.

Traitor.

Every name he’d been called invaded his mind, reminding how dirty his image was. How hated and undesirable.

Subconsciously, his hand drifted to Chenqing, his fingers resting lightly on the top of his flute. It continued to give him the cold shoulder. But he sensed a bit of hesitation. Almost like a dog that tried to ignore its owner even when treats were on offer.

As if not noticing Wei Wuxian’s hesitation, Lan Wangji knelt in front of the outdoor shrine Wei Wuxian had made for his parents. It resided in a small clearing surrounded by wildflowers and paper talismans for protection, just a short hike from the base of the Burial Mounds. One stick at a time, Lan Wangji lit incense and stared forward.

Waiting.

Waiting for him .

His gaze trailed over Lan Wangji’s red forehead ribbon, over his broad shoulders, down his long hair. Patient and unmovable. The man never lied. He never changed his mind, either. He was serious about this. He would honor his promise for the rest of their lives.

I don’t deserve this.

The thought filled every corner of his mind as he joined Lan Wangji in a kneeling position. Until now, the idea of a marriage with one another had seemed like an intangible object. Like a joke or a dream. But here and now? It was real. Too real. And it was frightening. It was wonderful. It was selfish.

They remained silent, honoring their deceased parents with incense and words not spoken aloud.

And then Lan Wangji performed the first bow to honor the heavens and the earth.

Wei Wuxian’s heart pounded frightfully hard as he joined in the first bow. Blood rushed to his ears. His body warred between fleeing and passing out. Maybe something in between. But he didn’t get the chance to choose which one before Lan Wangji bowed a second time to honor their parents.

His fingers curled into the grass beneath him. The blood rushed through his ears so loudly that he couldn’t hear anything but his hammering pulse. Just two more bows. He could do this.

With trembling arms, he also bowed a second time, his nose close enough to the ground to inhale a breath of fresh earth. His parents… They were dead. His adoptive parents. Dead. Friends he had grown up with at Lotus Pier. Dead. The universe screamed at him that it was all his fault. All their blood on his hands. If he married Lan Wangji, would his blood end up on his hands as well?

No, no, no , his inner voice screamed at him. You cannot do this. You don’t deserve this. Villains don’t get happy endings.

Villain.

Outcast.

Scourge of the earth.

Traitor.

Lan Wangji was too good for him. Pure. Lovely. Bright. Radiant. Wei Wuxian would taint such a beautiful soul.

Now facing each other, Wei Wuxian paused on the last bow, his arms shaking. His eyes became moist when he realized he couldn’t do this. Not to Lan Zhan. It was selfish. It would only cause more harm. 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmured softly. 

“I can’t do this to you. I can’t shackle you to me for the rest of your life.”

“It’s my choice.”

“I’m a bad choice. I’ve always…always been…” Memories flashed across his mind. His poor, sad little childhood. Being alone. Abandoned. Heaps of blame being placed on him. No matter what he touched, he was bound to destroy it no matter his intentions.

Letting out a long breath, Lan Wangji’s eyes fluttered closed. “No outcome is worse than losing you.”

For a long moment, Wei Wuxian knelt, dumbfounded by the other man’s words. No one had ever…not once…said anything like that to him before.

The words stunned him. They lit a fire in his heart he wasn’t aware could be lit. All because…because…this beautiful, lovely, incredible man was choosing him.

No outcome is worse than losing you.

The words repeated again and again in his mind. Lan Wangji would truly risk whatever devastation Wei Wuxian might bring down on his future just for the sake of keeping him?

“I might ruin your life,” he rasped. “You will regret me.”

Lan Wangji’s eyes opened, and he pierced him with a light-eyed stare. “I have regretted many things. But I do not and will not regret you. ”

He swallowed the hard lump in his throat. Not daring to hope. Not daring to allow himself to believe someone might care. That someone might want him. 

He shook his head, staring at the ground between them. Had anyone ever wanted him? He’d always been a burden on those around him, even on his adoptive family.

“Hanguang-Jun,” he whispered. 

“Yiling Laozu.”

Momentarily, Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, relishing the way his friend acknowledged who he was, who he had been forced to become. 

More daringly, he lifted his gaze and met the other man’s eye as he made his choice. “Lan Wangji.”

“Wei Wuxian.”

There was no hesitation, no flicker of uncertainty in the other man’s countenance. 

Taking a shallow breath, he barely murmured, “Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji’s fingers inched forward until the tips brushed against his own. “Wei Ying.”

And then Wei Wuxian bowed deeply for a third time, trying to express his gratitude, his fondness, his relief with the action. He silently promised he wouldn’t become a burden. That he would give back tenfold of what he received. He would never take Lan Wangji for granted and would always treasure this gift of safety, of acceptance, of friendship that was offered him. 

Across from him, Lan Wangji bowed just as deeply. The moment they both righted themselves, they gazed back at each other in comfortable, if not disbelieving, silence. They were married. Married . He wasn’t sure how to wrap his mind around it. It was like a dream. A wonderful, absolutely insane, dream. Not once in his twenty-two years had he ever imagined something like this happening to him. With another man, no less. 

“I don’t know what comes next,” Wei Wuxian admitted. Were they supposed to hug? Go back to being friends despite their marriage? Move in together? He just wasn’t sure how he fit in Lan Wangji’s life nor what to expect.

Thankfully, it seemed as if Lan Wangji already had a plan. Almost as if…as if he’d planned this in advance. 

There was no way… He couldn’t have… He wouldn’t…

“Next, I present you as my wife to the cultivation world. No one will try to hurt you again.”

Wife…

“Hey!” Wei Wuxian jutted out his lower lip in a pout. “Why am I the wife and not you?”

He didn’t explain in detail, but only said, “You are the wife.”

Well, he supposed since Lan Wangji had sacrificed a lot to do this for him, he could be the wife. Just this once.

“Fine, fine,” he said, releasing a long-suffering sigh. “Whatever you want.” He peeked his eyes open to gauge his new husband’s reaction. “No one is gonna believe you. They’ll say I bewitched you with my scary undead powers.”

He wiggled his fingers to emphasize the scary part.

Lan Wangji appeared unfazed. “They can say whatever they want. Rumors are just rumors.”

All at once, Wei Wuxian’s spirits dampened at the mention. “Rumors are incredibly harmful. Especially to me.”

He rubbed his hand up and down his arm and gave his husband a pitiful look. He reckoned he looked like a stray cat who had been kicked a few too many times.

“Then I’ll silence all the rumors. Your safety is my priority.”

Wei Wuxian was still in disbelief, hardly able to wrap his mind around the events of the last couple of days. At some point, he almost expected to wake up and discover this was all a very strange yet pleasant dream.

“I suppose you are going to drag me to Gusu then.”

“Whatever you want,” Lan Wangji said, repeating his earlier words. “As long as you are with me.”

Whatever I want?

Since when was he allowed to make his own choices without someone or something forcing his hand?

“I don’t know,” he admitted with the same kicked stray cat look. “The Wens are situated safely at the Burial Mounds. I only need to check on them occasionally. I don’t have much money. Finding work has been…difficult.”

“I have money.”

Wei Wuxian frowned. “But it’s yours.”

“Ours,” the other man corrected. “I take care of and provide for my wife.”

Wife…

He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the word. He reckoned it might take a while to get used to. And as much as he wanted to avoid Gusu… It was the one place that made sense right now.

“Then we’ll go to your home. Unless…”

“Unless?”

“Unless I’m not welcome there.”

Lan Wangji leaned forward and placed his hand against Wei Wuxian’s arm. “You are welcome. My brother already knows.”

“ How?! We only just got married!”

“I asked for his permission to bring you to the Cloud Recesses a while back. He has not forgotten his promise.”

“But he doesn’t know we’re married.”

Lan Wangji pressed his lips together and avoided his gaze.

Wei Wuxian gasped. “He does! How long were you planning on marrying me?”

Lan Wangji tipped his head farther to the side, evading his gaze even more.

He sat back on his heels in disbelief. This definitely wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment marriage. Lan Wangji had planned this. He must have thought about it for a while.

A slow warmth started at where Lan Wangji’s hand cupped his arm and spread to the rest of his body. Lan Wangji had planned this. He’d thought about him. He’d wanted to care for him for a while, to keep him safe and protected.

Somehow, the warmth only burned brighter in his chest. Words could not accurately describe how grateful he was to his new husband.

“Well, then,” he said, trying to keep his wavering emotions out of his voice. “Let’s go meet my new brother-in-law.”

Lan Wangji stood first and held out a hand.

For a long moment, Wei Wuxian stared at those beautiful, slender fingers. His husband’s fingers. A silent offering of protection. A promise to take care of and cherish him.

Wei Wuxian released a shaky breath and smiled softly. And then he took the hand offered to him.

Chapter Text

Something had changed.

Maybe it was the tender way Lan Wangji held his waist as they soared through the skies on Bichen. Or perhaps it was the warm glances he caught from his new husband now and again. It was almost as if they had an unspoken understanding, but Wei Wuxian didn’t understand what , exactly, they were on the same page about. Only that things felt different now.

Now dressed in their regular attire, they landed at the entrance of the Cloud Recesses, the foggy, mountainous landscape stretching endlessly over their heads. A stone archway curved over the path leading up the trail, a protective barrier shimmering within it to keep intruders out.

The faintest smirk twitched at the corner of his mouth as he remembered when he’d managed to dismantle the barrier halfway drunk at the age of fifteen without a pass. Even now, he sensed that the barrier had been reinforced, stronger now than it was back then.

He reckoned he could probably disable the barrier again even without his golden core.

Ahhhhh… I forgot.

He glanced over at Lan Wangji and reminded himself that no matter how tempting it might seem to do things he shouldn’t, he was a married man now. He couldn’t attempt anything that might bring his husband even a small measure of grief.

Therefore, he held his hands properly behind his back. It gave him the appearance of submissive, well-mannered wife. But in reality, he was trying to keep the temptation of misconduct in check.

Lan Wangji produced his Gusu pass and held it up to the barrier. Little by little, the barrier shimmered out until it fell completely, permitting them entrance.

His husband placed a gentle hand on the small of his back to lead him forward, startling him. He wanted to stare at the arm connected to that hand. At the man who stood beside him. But instead, he made his way forward beneath the Gusu arch, all while he was overly aware of the gentle press of Lan Wangji’s fingers. At the caring way he guided him forward. Caring and perhaps the smallest bit possessive.

Yes, something had changed, indeed. He couldn’t remember any other time Lan Wangji had touched him like this.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered, finally able to take a heated breath when the other man dropped his hand to his side. “Is anyone going to stop us? I’m not sure Chenqing will obey me if it comes down to a fight.”

Lan Wangji kept his attention forward. “No one will be here.”

He pressed his lips together as he tried to make sense of Lan Wangji’s words. His expression, like always, revealed nothing. He really needed to study his facial cues a bit more. He was completely lost, otherwise.

“No one?” he pressed.

With a nod, Lan Wangji responded. “The usual guards will be busy this week. Every quarter, cultivation leaders meet together to form friendships, alliances, and to make plans.” He paused for a moment before peeking over at Wei Wuxian. “This quarter is Gusu’s turn to host the event.”

All the blood drained from Wei Wuxian’s face when he realized what this meant.

“I’m not ready!” he gasped, his legs shaking. When he thought he might collapse, he clung onto Lan Wangji’s arm. Or maybe he was feeling a little bit dramatic. Maybe both. “I can’t do this yet. I’m not ready!”

“You do it now or you do it later. But it must be done quickly.”

By “this,” he meant making amends with the cultivation world.

“I can’t do this!” he cried again pathetically, remembering all the harsh words, all the hateful stares, all the cruel accusations aimed at himself. His grip slipped a bit more until he clung to Lan Wangji around the waist. “No one will listen to me if I try to defend myself! How many times have I already tried?! I’m already damned in their eyes. No amount of restitution will change that.”

Lan Wangji patted his head reassuringly. “They will listen if I am there.”

“Wangji…” he weakly protested, his voice muffled with his face pressed into the other man’s robes. “I can’t take any more of it. No more. I can’t take it.”

“You can. And I will help you.”

He stayed clinging to his husband like a cat who had been stuck out in the rain all night, now mewling pathetically to its owner. “You’ll have to bribe me.”

“Hmm.” The way Lan Wangji said it almost sounded like the faint hum of amusement. Thankfully, he seemed to be in good spirits rather than frustrated with Wei Wuxian’s antics. Besides, he had decided he wanted to marry Wei Wuxian. The deal came with the whole package, including some dramatics here and there.

Another pat to his head before his husband said, “What would you like?”

He wasn’t entirely sure he knew the answer to that, so he spouted nonsense to try to hide his anxiety. “If I’m the wife, no one combed my hair four times before the wedding. You’ve missed a crucial step here.”

A second hum of amusement followed. “I’ll comb your hair.”

“Okay.” He sighed out a breath of anxiety and inhaled a breath of a familiar sandalwood scent. Lan Wangji’s scent was calming. Comforting. Something to help mend his frayed nerves. “You’ll be with me the whole time?”

“Mn.”

“Promise?” Because if all the clan leaders were in Gusu, that also meant his adoptive brother, Jiang Cheng, and his brother-in-law, Jin Zixuan, that blasted peacock, were present. He hadn’t seen either of them in over a year.

“Mn.”

Alright, so Wei Wuxian couldn’t deny his baser instincts for teasing and mischief. And Lan Wangji was a prime target.

He batted his eyelashes and jutted out his bottom lip the slightest bit. “Carry me, Hanguang-Jun.”

The other man’s eyebrows drew together as he looked him up and down. “You are still hurt?”

His next scoff blew a puff of hair out of his eyes. “I didn’t get my hair combed or carried in a sedan chair to my husband’s home. Your poor, sad wife. How will you ever make it up to—”

He cried out in surprise as Lan Wangji stooped down and lifted him up in a single, fluid movement. The jolt of the action caused him to stabilize himself against the other man with one arm wrapped around his neck and his opposite hand braced against his chest.

“What’re you d—”

“Shh.”

Over the years, this man had called him boring, extremely boring, shameless, ridiculous, and more. But never once had he shushed him. Well, unless he counted the time or two he’d used a silencing spell on him to keep him from talking.

It was then he noticed the bright red pigment on the tip of Lan Wangji’s ears. His expression softened, and he fell into comfortable silence as his husband demonstrated his strength and endurance by carrying him up the path. Lan Wangji showed no indication that the feat was difficult in any way. No eyebrow twitch. No labored breath. Only a serene expression.

He dared to relax against him, resting his cheek on the man’s shoulder as he admired his surroundings. The Cloud Recesses truly were magnificent. Lush trees. Gorgeous rivers and waterfalls. Majestic mountains.

And this was his new home. 

Fate willing, of course.

He pulled his attention from the scenery to the defined angles of Lan Wangji’s jaw. His gaze roamed over smooth skin, cute, curved ears, and then sharp but alluring shape of the man’s eyes.

He shouldn’t stare. Truly. But his husband was far too pleasing to look at, rivaling even the beautiful scenery of the Cloud Recesses.

“What is it?” Lan Wangji murmured, startling him out of his thoughts.

Ever so softly, he brushed a strand of Lan Wangji’s hair between his fingers. “I was just thinking…that you are worth living for.”

Oh, gosh. That sounded way too sappy.

“I-I-I meant that you have been such a good f-f-friend,” he stuttered, face growing warm in the face of his husband’s faintly visible surprised expression. “I was only trying to say that if I had to get stuck with anyone, I’m glad it was you.”

Wei Wuxian ran a hand down his face when he realized he was only making things worse. Why couldn’t he just outright say he was glad they were together like this? That he had a big crush on him and wanted to explore things further?

Oh, right. Because if Lan Wangji didn’t feel the same way, he would only make things unbearably awkward.

“Really?” his husband asked, his voice a breathy whisper.

“Yeah. A-a-anyways…” He glanced up and fell silent the moment Gusu came into view. Thankfully, Lan Wangji placed him on his own feet as they continued forward, more and more buildings rising up the closer they approached.

“Hmm,” Lan Wangji said.

“What? What’s ‘hmm?’” He wrung his hands, far too nervous for his own good. A hum from Lan Wangji could mean anything, especially when it was slightly laced with concern.

“Meeting.”

Before Wei Wuxian found a chance to ask him to expand on the word, he led him toward one of the larger pavilions and pushed the door open.

Wei Wuxian’s heart sank to the very pits of the earth when he suddenly found himself facing dozens of cultivators and clan leaders.

And as the opening of the doors drew notice…

All eyes in the room landed on him.

Chapter Text

“It’s Wei Wuxian!” someone cried.

All at once, the entire room became a flurry of absolute chaos. The floor rumbled as people leaped to their feet. The singing of metal lifted into the air as cultivators drew their weapons. Shouts and jeers and warnings melded into each other until he couldn’t pick out a single voice from the chaos.

Instinctively, Wei Wuxian reached for Chenqing. However, the spiritual weapon refused his command yet again. He was powerless. Defenseless. At the mercy of dozens of cultivators.

Lan Wangji pressed closer and touched his wrist, guiding his hand back to his side. Wei Wuxian was shaking, fear radiating from his eyes. Yes, he’d wanted to die, to cease to exist only days ago. But he found something to live for. And he didn’t want to die yet.

Trust me , Lan Wangji said with his eyes alone.

I’m scared, his eyes communicated back.

You’re safe with me.

You don’t know that.

I won’t let any harm come to you.

When the first of the cultivators moved, seemingly with the intention of attacking Wei Wuxian, even unprovoked, Lan Wangji took a single step forward. Everyone in the room froze, uncertainty in their expressions as they glanced between the two of them.

When Lan Wangji spoke, a rare occurrence by itself, everyone listened. “Wei Wuxian has come to speak. I advise you to heed his words.”

Wei Wuxian gave his husband a disbelieving stare. Sure, why not drag him into the pit of vipers and leave him to fend for himself? This was great. Amazing. Swell. His greatest dream.

He knelt to his knees and bowed his head, causing everyone to release an audible gasp. “I sincerely apologize for all of my disruption and dissonance I’ve caused. I’ve only tried to do what I thought was right and just. Although I do not regret what I have done, I do regret sowing discord and offense to my fellow cultivators. And for that, I seek forgiveness and ask to be accepted back into the fold.”

Intense, shocked silence ensued.

And then the room erupted into shouts, insults, and hateful comments. There were too many for Wei Wuxian to pick apart individually. 

He dared to peek up at his brother to find Jiang Cheng grinding his teeth with a look of uncertainty on his face. Jiang Cheng likely battled with the idea of accepting him back into the Yunmeng Jiang clan. But that wasn’t Wei Wuxian’s intention. 

Now…

Now he waited patiently with head still bowed.

Lan Wangji took a single step forward, and that was all it took for the entire room to quiet, such was the respect and admiration everyone felt for one of the Twin Jades.

At the head of the room, Zewu-Jun nodded his head, allowing Lan Wangji to speak.

“I can vouch for Wei Wuxian,” he said, everyone in the room listening with rapt attention. “He has not engaged in any nefarious activity. He has only strived to use his powers of cultivation to help others.”

Jin Guangyao narrowed his eyes at them. His meek, humble appearance may deceive many others, but Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but notice the spark of ambition in his gaze. “How do we know he didn’t bewitch you?”

Wei Wuxian barely refrained from rolling his eyes. But he couldn’t hold himself back from wiggling his fingers, alluding to their previous conversation about his “scary undead powers.”

Holding his head high, Lan Wangji answered, “My will is my own.”

“If he’s so apologetic, why does he insist on offending by not bringing his sword with him?”

Wei Wuxian stared at the ground, his lips pressed together. He was unable to use Suibian because he no longer possessed a golden core. He’d given it to his brother, whose core had been destroyed by Wen Zhuliu, the Core-Melting Hand. Of course, he had kept it a secret for years and never planned to reveal the truth.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak the usual lie that he just didn’t feel like bringing it, Lan Wangji spoke up. “The Jiang family has experienced a lot of hardships due to the war and Core-Melting Hand. He does not bring it because he cannot use it. Must you continue to degrade and offend him because of what he suffered?”

More gasps and cries of disbelief.

Wei Wuxian inhaled sharply, his attention snapping toward his husband. For him to say that… Lan Wangji understood what had really happened. He must have pieced it together on his own. Of all the brilliant excuses to not carry his sword, how had he not thought of that one?

And, he noticed with smug satisfaction, Lan Wangji hadn’t spoken a single lie, as was against the Gusu Sect rules. 

Honestly… He was grateful for someone to speak up for him. For years, he hadn’t been able to defend himself. This was such a relief in comparison.

“But Jiang Cheng got his golden core restored!” someone shouted from the crowd, all eyes now turning to the man in question, who stood with uncertainty in his countenance.

Lan Wangji bowed his head. “Not everyone is so fortunate.”

Murmurs made another round, voices not quite as threatening as before. It seemed as if others might finally understand why he practiced demonic cultivation. It had been his only chance at survival after getting stabbed and thrown into the Burial Mounds.

His ears picked up a hushed conversation between Jin Zixuan and Zewu-Jun. “He turned the tides of the war. His methods are unorthodox, but he saved hundreds of lives.”

“Mn. Wangji’s life included.”

However, others still needed convincing.

Su She from the Moling Su clan spoke up next. “A lot of people were hurt the day you fought against your own for the Wens. Your actions are inexcusable.”

Emboldened by Lan Wangji’s presence beside him, Wei Wuxian, still kneeling, said, “As cultivators, we must hold ourselves to a higher standard than the rest of the world. We must remember who we fight for and who we protect. Innocent people. Those who cannot fight for themselves.”

“But you did something--”

“Let him finish,” Lan Wangji warned with a cool expression. 

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath, his eyes full of gratitude. “Torturing and harming innocent people no matter their surname should deeply shame all of us. Yes, all those accusations at Qiongqi Path were denied by the Jin Clan. But I saw it all with my own eyes. I would not have acted rashly otherwise.”

Su She scowled, taking a step forward while reaching for his weapon, but he stopped with a halting gesture from Jin Guangyao.

Jin Guangyao bowed to Lan Wangji. “Hanguang-Jun, I mean no disrespect. But he’s lost our trust with all the nefarious deeds he has already committed. How can we be sure he hasn’t built a ghost army to attack us when our guard is down?”

Lan Wangji stood taller. “How can we be sure you won’t turn against us with your own army? Rumors are harmful, and there are many against Wei Wuxian that are not true. Would the Lanling Jin Sect act on a rumor?”

The leader of the sect in question, also Wei Wuxian’s brother-in-law, Jin Zixuan, bowed next. “We have no such intentions. We are willing to extend a hand of forgiveness.”

Everyone murmured, shifting in their seats as if uncomfortable with the idea. Contention lifted in the room, hatred and past grievances making their rounds. More than once, Wei Wuxian caught the idea floating around to kill him or lock him up somewhere he cannot escape for the duration of his life. 

Just when discouragement began to settle in his soul, Lan Wangji offered a hand to him. The room gasped at large at the idea that the Hanguang-Jun would touch anyone. And when Wei Wuxian accepted his hand and allowed him to pull him to his feet, the action whipped everyone into a still, shocked silence. 

Lan Wangji faced everyone once more as he threaded his fingers through his own. The action did not go unnoticed. Everyone appeared scandalized, as if they might pass out from shock or anger or something in between. Even Jiang Cheng’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“I have taken Wei Ying as my spouse,” Lan Wangji said, his tone and expression serious. “I will back him. I will defend him. I will not take offenses or disrespect toward him lightly.”

The room became so silent that someone’s rumbling stomach echoed loudly throughout the hall.

Finally, with hardened eyes, Jin Guangyao spoke up. “How can we be so certain that you aren’t making all this up?”

Lan Wangji flashed the man an icy glare, shutting him up immediately. During the Sunshot Campaign, anyone on the receiving end of that glare had not survived the war.

“It’s alright, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian murmured. “You don’t need to…”

His words trailed off as Lan Wangji turned to face him wearing a determined expression. Gasps echoed throughout the room as Lan Wangji pulled off his forehead ribbon and wrapped one end of it around Wei Wuxian’s wrist and the other around his own. His slender fingers next cupped Wei Wuxian’s face, and before he realized what was about to happen, Lan Wangji leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss.

Wei Wuxian inhaled in surprise, burning from the inside out. His entire body melted with disbelief and happiness and shock. And in front of dozens of shocked cultivators, the Yiling Patriarch’s knees grew weak.

He was far too preoccupied with the feeling of Lan Wangji’s soft lips, with the warm gentleness of his hands, to notice that the entire room was in an uproar.

The two of them broke apart with a hot, gasping breath between them. Wei Wuxian stared back at his husband, his lips parted and his eyes wide. Lan Wangji. Had kissed him. In front of everybody! And he was the besotted fool who couldn’t fight the happiness and joy from blooming in his expression.

Despite Wei Wuxian’s daze, Lan Wangji didn’t miss a single stride as he held up their bound wrists for all to see. Wei Wuxian released another hot, dumbfounded breath. He was going to pass out. Or collapse. He feared his weak knees wouldn’t hold him upright for much longer.

At the front of the room, Zewu-Jun beamed at them. Not a trace of surprise lived within his eyes. Only happiness and perhaps relief. The Gusu Sect leader cupped his hands together and bowed. “The Gusu Sect congratulates you on the nuptials. I welcome you into the family and back into the fold, Yiling Laozu.”

Yep, Wei Wuxian was going to pass out. He could already feel his head swimming and his heart beating erratically within his chest.

That kiss… That kiss!

Next, Jiang Cheng bowed. “The Yunmeng Jiang Clan also congratulates the two of you and extends a hand of forgiveness.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes watered as he gazed back at his adoptive brother, gratitude in his expression. He’d never thought… He’d never expected…

One by one, the other clans followed suit.

Wei Wuxian stumbled a step, and he just might have collapsed had it not been for Lan Wangji’s steady arm around his waist. But the problem only worsened when he breathed in the man’s sandalwood scent in his nearness. If he passed out now, he’d lose face forever.

This was all his husband’s fault! Lan Wangji needed to warn him first before going and kissing him like that. With such… conviction.

“Marriage or not, the issue at Qiongqi Path still needs addressing!” Jin Guangyao insisted, some people murmuring in agreement.

Struggling to stay upright, Wei Wuxian realized he wasn’t done here yet. He needed a straight head. No more thinking about the kiss or Lan Wangji or the intoxicating sandalwood scent…

He blinked several times and finally managed to take a deep breath. How long had his lungs been empty?

Clearing his throat, he redirected his attention to his biggest obstacle in front of him. “I must not have heard you correctly. You aren’t saying, despite your clan leader’s pardon, that you lied about not knowing about the abuse? About the deaths of innocent people?”

“Hahaha…” Jin Guangyao at least had the decency to look nervous as he glanced around the room. “I was not saying that at all.”

“Unless it was all a big misunderstanding.”

He was giving them a way out to protect their own pride. Would they take it? Or condemn him for his actions?

Jin Guangyao glanced from Wei Wuxian to Lan Wangji, a calculating look in his eyes. “It is possible the men responsible for such methods were misinformed.”

His heart shuddered in disbelief. That was not the answer he thought he’d receive. Then again, to go against Wei Wuxian at this point would invite Lan Wangji’s wrath. Not only was Lan Wangji one of the strongest and most talented cultivators he knew, offending the Lan clan would be extremely disadvantageous to one’s position in their own clan.

Finally, Jin Guangyao cupped his hands and dipped into a bow. “Then let’s put past grievances behind us. But I am not sure we can easily forgive should something like this happen again.”

A warning. Although this had an overall favorable outcome, thanks to Lan Wangji, he could not step so far out of line again without further consequences.

He returned the bow with one of his own. “I understand.”

Lan Wangji spread his arms widely, bringing his hands together in a cupped position, and bowed low. “Your generous pardons will not be forgotten.” And then he straightened, pressing closer to Wei Wuxian. “It has been a long journey here. We will take our leave to rest.” 

“Wait, Wangji,” Zewu-Jun said. “I wish to speak to you.” And then he bowed to the other cultivators. “Let us take a break and meet together tomorrow morning. Thank you for your presence today.”

“Don’t leave me,” Wei Wuxian hissed to his husband, internally panicking. Yes, he may have received forgiveness and pardons, but that didn’t mean everyone was happy about it.

In reply, Lan Wangji simply squeezed his hand in reassurance before following his brother out a side door of the pavilion.

All too suddenly, Wei Wuxian found himself with far too many calculating eyes and wary expressions trained on him.

He released a long breath. One step at a time. He was not ready to mingle, pardon or not. 

He slipped out another door, but quickly realized he had no idea where to go when faced with dozens of buildings, endless plants and trees, and paths that looked far different than what he remembered before the destruction caused by the Sunshot Campaign. Where was Lan Wangji staying?

He took a step forward in a random direction, but someone cut across him and shoved him by the shoulders. 

Wei Wuxian gasped as he stumbled backward, only to get shoved again. He caught sight of purple robes, a black braid leading into a dark bun, and a severe expression.

“A cut-sleeve, Wei Ying?” Jiang Cheng shoved him again. “And with Hanguang-Jun of all people! I don’t know whether to be appalled or impressed that you reeled him in.”

He planted his hands on his hips. “Hey now! I’m perfectly capable of—oomph!”

Jiang Cheng pulled him into a fierce embrace, smothering his next words into his brother’s shoulder.

But as if embarrassed by the unexpected display of affection, Jiang Cheng pushed him away and turned his attention to the side, not meeting his eye. “I’m glad to have you back.” He shifted his gaze momentarily in Wei Wuxian’s direction and looked away. “I’m sorry to hear about your golden core. I…I didn’t know. But…I had wondered…”

“Don’t mention it. It’s fine.” He didn’t want to talk about this, worried it might spiral him into another depressive episode.

His brother released a tense breath and changed the subject. “Yanli will be ecstatic to hear the news.”

“What news, exactly?” A lot had happened today. Being presented as Lan Wangji’s spouse. Earning back a place in the cultivation world. That amazing, heart-stopping kiss…

His knees grew weak once more at the mere memory of it. 

“Everything. All of it. But…you should be the one to tell her.”

Wei Wuxian snorted. “Her peacock of a husband will get to it first, I’m sure—”

His words halted in his throat as Jin Zixuan froze beside the door, glancing back and forth between them.

Hastily, he and Jiang Cheng bowed in greeting.

Jin Zixuan returned the bow and smiled. “Consider this an informal invitation before the formal one arrives. On behalf of myself and Yanli, we would like to invite both of you and your significant others to the Golden Carp Tower to celebrate the upcoming birth of our child.”

Wei Wuxian gasped, eyes widening. “I had no idea! Why didn’t Lan Zhan tell me?!”

His brother-in-law chuckled. “We are only just announcing the pregnancy, starting with family.”

Family…

The term caused his breath to catch. He’d never thought…never dreamed he’d have his family again. 

To save a little bit of face, he waved a teasing hand. “Jiang Cheng will never have a significant other,” Wei Wuxian stated. “He’s too cranky for that.”

His brother rolled his eyes. “Not yet. But someday.”

Jin Zixuan dipped his head and excused himself. Next, Jiang Cheng turned to him.

“You’re the exact same as I remember you.” Jiang Cheng shoved him again for good measure. “Odd preferences aside.”

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. “I’ve always had a massive crush on Lan Zhan. What’re you talking about?”

The faintest hitch of breath behind him caused an unbearable heat to fill every crevice of his body. 

He spun around to find Lan Wangji staring at him, his lips parted in shock.

Wei Wuxian covered his face with his hands to hide the extreme embarrassment that followed. Why did his husband have to appear right then? And why hadn’t Wei Wuxian been more careful to view his surroundings before blurting something like that out?

Mortification seemed to burn a hole through him, but he didn’t get the chance to ponder on it for long before Lan Wangji grabbed his wrist, pulled his hand away from his face, and dragged him down the path to the right.

He could only follow behind in mortified silence.

Chapter Text

Wei Wuxian hardly managed to pay attention to the path they traveled nor their surroundings when the heat of mortified fluster burned his entire body. He was good at keeping secrets. So why had he blurted his feelings out as if he had no concept of self-control?!

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

He’d ruined things. Lan Wangji would regret ever marrying him, and the rest of their marriage would be this big ball of awkward mess!

What a disaster his big mouth had gotten him into this time!

“In here,” Lan Wangji said, breaking the silence. 

His husband, still holding fast to his wrist, led him up several steps, onto a wrap-around porch, and after sliding open the door, guided him inside. 

Mortification only momentarily forgotten, Wei Wuxian surveyed his surroundings with sudden great interest, if only to distract him from the conversation that was surely bound to take place.

He wasn’t sure he recognized this building from his stay at the Cloud Recesses years ago. The faint trickle of water hinted at a stream nearby. Birdsong flitted in the trees outside, lending a peaceful aura to the atmosphere. The inside of the building was roomy and comfortable, easily fitting the lifestyle of two people. He counted two rooms hidden by sliding screens, a neat and orderly kitchen, shelves laden with numerous books, and a low table with floor cushions on either side.

Curiosity led him toward one of the rooms. Lan Wangji didn’t stop him as he slid the screen open and ventured inside. Clearly, this was where Lan Wangji usually slept judging by the sandalwood aroma and white clothing and shoes folded neatly on the shelves. The room was plain and unadorned with no decoration or anything that explicitly screamed “Wangji.”

No, no, no. That wouldn’t do. 

He pulled out a sheet of parchment from the stack on his husband’s desk, dipped a brush in ink, and quickly painted a rabbit. Confident the light ink wouldn’t drip, he tacked the painting on the wall beside the bed. 

But then he made the mistake of glancing at the doorway to find Lan Wangji watching him intently.

Warmth flooded his cheeks, and to once more keep this awkward conversation from happening, he shuffled past him in the doorway and entered the second bedroom.

Shock engulfed him from head to toe, stunning him into stillness. This bedroom. It was…

He released a shaky breath and dared to venture forward. Black robes and red hair ribbons lay within the shelves, folded neatly as if waiting for someone to wear them. At least a dozen books lay neatly stacked on the small table beside the bed. And on the desk…

He released another wavering breath. 

On the desk lay a few of his favorite candies, a stack of blank talismans, a rattle drum, and two jars of Emperor’s Smile.

This was all…for him. Now there was absolutely no room for doubt in his mind that Lan Wangji had planned to marry him for a while. He wasn’t sure what to do with this information. He wasn’t sure what this meant. It was no wonder why Zewu-Jun hadn’t been surprised at the news of their marriage. It seemed as if the last person to know about it was himself.

He slowly turned around to face the doorway, only to discover that Lan Wangji had stepped inside with him, and he now stood only a single stride away. 

All words fled his mind, replaced by embarrassment and shock and overwhelming gratitude. But mostly embarrassment. Because Wei Wuxian had still blurted out his feelings. And Lan Wangji had yet to acknowledge them. 

“The Jingshi,” Lan Wangji explained. “Our home.”

Home…

It felt like years had passed since he’d truly had a place that felt like home, that he could call home. Lan Wangji had given this beautiful gift to him…

Unable to stand the tension in the room, he attempted to break through the wall of thick ice.

“Ahhh… What did Zewu-Jun want to speak to you about?” Wei Wuxian asked, desperate to fill the silence with anything other than his pounding heart.

“Sit,” Lan Wangji ordered, pointing to the chair at the desk. No one would dare refuse an order like that, and he quickly complied.

“Ah…erm… Yes, Lan Er-gege.”

Lan Wangji’s hand paused on the hair comb on top of the desk, his fingers shaking. But after a moment, he grabbed it, untied Wei Wuxian’s hair ribbon, and gently pulled the comb through his hair.

Now… Wei Wuxian waited for the figurative ball to drop.

But even after a dozen strokes of the comb, Lan Wangji continued to remain silent.

That could not be good. Surely, his feelings weren’t welcome. Perhaps Lan Wangji was thinking of a way to let him down gently. A marriage in name only. The more Wei Wuxian thought about it, the more he spiraled. Lan Wangji didn’t return his feelings. He’d married him only out of pity. Of course, it must be true. Especially when he had an entire room to himself. It should have been a clear indication that it was a marriage of convenience and nothing more.

“You can stop,” Wei Wuxian said glumly.

“No. Four times, you said.”

“Well, now I said you can stop.”

In response, Lan Wangji pulled back his hair in an aggressive manner as if telling him to be quiet.

“Ow!” he cried. “You are so rough, Hanguang-Jun.” Despite his words, his heart thundered in his chest, warmth pooling in his belly. No one had ever pulled his hair before. Why did he like it so much?

He clenched his fists in his lap, his mind exploring every dark corner of confusion. What was going on? He didn’t know anymore. All he knew was that Lan Wangji had yet to confront him about what he’d told Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure he could breach the topic himself. He was still so embarrassed…

“You are coming with me, aren’t you?” he asked instead, only wishing Lan Wangji had a mirror somewhere in this Jingshi just so he could witness his micro expressions as he stood behind him. Silence only made the issue worse.

“Yes.”

“I didn’t even tell you where yet!”

“Always yes. I go where you go.”

Wei Wuxian once again covered his face with his hands to hide his fluster from his husband. However, Lan Wangji rounded where he sat and pried his hands away from his face, revealing the same serene expression the man always wore. Except… There was something more this time. Something… alive.

They stared back at one another, and Wei Wuxian only wished he knew what was going on in the other man’s mind.

“I-I-I…” He blew out a long breath to try to steer himself away from his own stuttering mess. “Jin Zixuan invited us to the Golden Carp Tower if…if you heard that part.”

“I did not.”

But you heard my mortifying confession…

He wanted to grab Lan Wangji by the lapels and shake him until he said something about the confession. Anything! Wei Wuxian was drowning in a pool of his own uneasy mess.

Then again… He realized he had yet to say anything about the earlier kiss.

Was this…a stalemate? Was Lan Wangji waiting for him to say something before speaking himself?

“Umm…” His face flushed with heat when he realized Lan Wangji was still holding his wrists. He ducked his head to stare into his lap. “Thank you. For today. This was not the outcome I expected. And…and I’m so grateful to you for protecting me and standing beside me. No one has done that in…a very long time.”

“No need to thank.”

Once again, they stared back at each other, so many things left unsaid. Lan Wangji’s mouth opened and closed. Opened and closed. Before his mouth settled in a thin line as if deciding not to say a thing.

“What did Zewu-Jun say?” he asked again to fill the tense silence.

Finally, his husband spoke. “Offered congratulations. Gave us a union gift. Asked questions.”

“What was the gift?”

“A silverware set that once belonged to my parents.” A spark of sadness flashed across his eyes, and Wei Wuxian realized he wanted to do anything to take it away.

“What type of questions?”

Lan Wangji turned his head to the side. Now Wei Wuxian understood it meant he didn’t want to answer.

“About me?” he guessed.

“Mn.”

Still, Lan Wangji continued to avert his gaze.

Wei Wuxian wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. “About us?”

Lan Wangji’s grip tightened on his wrists, his mouth once again silently moving as if trying to find the right words. Wei Wuxian waited patiently, knowing his husband would answer when he was ready.

But just as he opened his mouth again, a knock sounded on the front door of the Jingshi. “Hanguang-Jun!” a man called, his voice muffled between the layers of doors. “Forgive my intrusion, but there is an urgent matter the council needs to discuss. We need your input.”

“Don’t go,” Wei Wuxian pleaded quietly. Lan Wangji was just about to say something, likely important. Their feelings and relationship were on the line!

“It is my duty,” Lan Wangji replied just as quietly.

“Then what is my duty?” How did he fit into the Lan clan?

“We’ve only just arrived. We will find your place.”

“Hanguang-Jun!” the man called again, followed by another knock.

The warmth left his wrists as Lan Wangji dropped his hands. The room was suddenly far too cold without his touch. How had he come to crave it so thoroughly?

Lan Wangji gazed at him for a moment longer before saying, “I will return shortly. Before curfew.” And then he strode out of the Jingshi, leaving a confused and bewildered Wei Wuxian behind.

Drat it all! What terrible timing.

Well, “shortly” came and went, and Wei Wuxian felt as if he’d paced a hole through the floor of his room. He shed one layer, and then another, until he paced in his sleeping attire. Darkness lay just outside the window, the cicadas chirping a synced rhythm in the tall mountain grass.

His husband had yet to return.

He nearly threw on an outer robe to venture out of the Jingshi to find him, but then Chenqing caught his eye where the spiritual weapon lay on his desk.

Slowly, he approached and reverently ran a finger down the smooth, black instrument. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, finding that he truly meant it. For a while, he’d lost himself in a deep pool of hatred, self-loathing, injustice, and depression. Yes, he was still learning to pick up the pieces of the shattered soul he’d left behind, but now it didn’t feel quite so impossible.

The flute warmed beneath his fingers.

“I will never try such a feat again,” he continued. “I hope you might find it in yourself to forgive me.”

Chenqing warmed again, accepting him as his master once more like a dog enthusiastically licking the hand of someone it trusted wholeheartedly.

He picked up the flute and cradled it to his chest, grateful to have earned back its trust. Now he hoped he deserved it.

Setting the spiritual weapon down, he climbed into bed and blew out the candle. He nearly drifted off to sleep when he heard the quiet slide of the front door opening followed by soft footsteps. The door closed. Wei Wuxian sat up as he recognized Lan Wangji’s ethereal, nearly soundless footsteps drawing closer. He spotted the man’s silhouette stopping just outside the screen door of his room. After a moment, Lan Wangji sighed and turned around, entering his own room and closing the screen behind him.

He frowned and indignantly climbed out of bed and to his feet. The first thing Lan Wangji should have done was talk to him! It didn’t matter whether he was awake or asleep. He’d been waiting for him for seemingly hours!

He slid the screen open and silently fumed. He was about to give a Jade a piece of his mind.

Chapter Text

Wei Wuxian threw the screen door open leading to his husband’s room. Lan Wangji jumped, clearly startled by the action. Or perhaps by the fury in his expression.

“Are you not even going to say anything?” Wei Wuxian planted his hands on his hips and scowled, but his intimidating demeanor was diminished by his sleeping attire and bare feet. “I feel like you at least owe me a sentence.”

“I did not wish to wake you.”

“Well, I’m awake!”

After a pause, Lan Wangji said, “The council meeting went into detail about a haunting in the lower town. Also… We discussed you. I’m sorry I didn’t return sooner.”

“Not about that!” Though, he tucked away that last tidbit for further questioning later. “I’m talking about what you overheard between me and Jiang Cheng earlier! I’ve been worrying myself sick over what you will say.”

Sitting at the edge of his bed, Lan Wangji’s hands curled into fists. “About that. I cannot tell if you are joking.”

His mouth dropped open in disbelief. Just how oblivious was his husband?! “Did you think I was joking when I practically begged for your attention as students? Or when I said you have a really nice figure? Called you handsome? What about the time I gifted you rabbits? Offered loquats? Stole your clothes so I might see more of your nice figure? And I didn’t even mention throwing you a peony! Do you even know what peonies represent?!”

Lan Wangji stared at him with something between a startled expression and stunned disbelief, almost as if he were trying to wrap his mind around Wei Wuxian’s words.

Was it not sinking in? Was he not clear enough? 

Although terrifying, he now knew he needed to make the first move. If his husband rejected him, then fine. He’d shoulder that heartache and disappointment later. But right now? 

Wei Wuxian advanced toward the other man, disliking the doubt still living in his eyes. Almost as if he wasn’t allowing himself to believe Wei Wuxian felt something more than just friendship. 

He placed a hand on Lan Wangji’s chest and pushed him down onto his back on the bed. He wasted no time before climbing up after him and straddling his waist, trapping him in the cage of his arms with his hands resting on either side of his head. His heart beat uncontrollably fast. He was terrified of rejection. But he tried to push it aside, if only to make his point.

“Do you think I’m joking now?” Wei Wuxian whispered, the two of them nearly nose to nose.

Lan Wangji released a raspy breath. “You were only teasing me. When you did all those things.”

A sigh escaped him as he hung his head. They were both hopeless. Seven or so years’ worth of hopeless. Although he still wasn’t sure how Lan Wangji felt about him, he considered the idea that he might also be scared. Just like himself. Scared of taking a chance. Scared of stepping outside the script they’d created for themselves. For their friendship.

In an agile movement, Wei Wuxian rolled off Lan Wangji and started moodily fluffing his husband’s pillow. Though, there wasn’t much to fluff when it was firm and rectangle shaped.

“What are you doing?” Lan Wangji asked.

“What does it look like?” He pummelled the pillow harder than necessary. “I’m sleeping in here with you so that I might get it through your thick head that I like you. Yes, Lan Zhan. I like you! I fancy you. I love you. I’m grateful for you. I want to stay with you as more than just friends. I—hmph!”

His words cut off as Lan Wangji threw his arms around Wei Wuxian’s waist from behind and held on tight, squeezing the air directly from his lungs.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian coughed, patting his hand for him to loosen his grip. “Can’t breathe!”

Although his husband loosened his hold the slightest bit, he didn’t release him as he rested his forehead on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. His heart sped up as he glanced down to find Lan Wangji clinging tightly to his clothing, almost as if he couldn’t bear to let go.

Finally, his body relaxed, exhausted from battling non-stop anxiety over the past few hours. This was good. This was nice. This was…

Perfect.

He lifted his hand over his shoulder and cradled the back of Lan Wangji’s head to return his affection. “Do you hold all the wives you abscond with like this?” he teased.

Lan Wangji’s arms tightened around his waist. “Then you were speaking the truth. All this time?”

“I always speak the truth. Some of it is just wrapped in a bit of teasing or boasting. You know. The usual.”

He inhaled sharply when Lan Wangji placed two elegant, gentle hands against his face and turned him around to face him. Lan Wangji’s thumbs brushed against Wei Wuxian’s skin as he gazed into his eyes. His heart pounded when faced with Lan Wangji’s natural beauty. Angelic. Ethereal. Breathtaking.

“I like you,” Lan Wangji whispered. “I fancy you. I love you. I’m grateful for you. I want to stay with you as more than just friends.” And then his husband tipped his face upward, his gentle hands holding him as if he were something truly precious. “Love Wei Ying. So much.”

Wei Wuxian’s entire body shivered with disbelief. At the start of this marriage, they had been friends. Lan Wangji had wanted to keep him safe. But all this time, they’d harbored secret feelings for each other? This wasn’t his imagination, was it?

But as he gazed back at the other man, feeling the warmth and love in his gaze, noting the sincerity in his eyes, he realized this was real. Lan Wangji loved him back.

He placed his hands on top of Lan Wangji’s and threaded their fingers together. “Kiss me,” he whispered.

A soft plea. A hushed request.

One that Lan Wangji didn’t hesitate to fulfill.

The distance lessened between them. Wei Wuxian’s eyes fluttered closed. And then Lan Wangji’s lips pressed against his own. Soft. Warm. Gentle. As if he were something fragile that might break under too much pressure.

For many months, Wei Wuxian had been terribly miserable. Sad and lonely and depressed. But right now… Here in this moment… He’d never known what it was like to be truly happy until Lan Wangji. His husband who accepted him for his darker cultivation path. Who protected him. Who loved him unconditionally.

Like the earlier kiss, his limbs suddenly became weak. He became breathless and lightheaded. His entire body flushed with pleasant warmth. It was truly wonderful to be kissed by his Lan Zhan.

Possibly only moments before he thought he might collapse from breathless joy, Lan Wangji broke the kiss, only to place several more soft, sweet kisses on his lips. Then he gasped as Lan Wangji pulled him down onto the bed until they both lay side by side facing each other. Lan Wangji pulled up the sheets to cover them both, trapping their heat between their bodies.

His eyelids fluttered closed in contentment as Lan Wangji stroked his hair with his fingers, then his cheek, and back to his hair. He felt so seen. So cherished. So loved. He could hardly believe that a year ago, they were so at odds with one another.

“You’ll make me fall asleep if you keep doing that,” Wei Wuxian warned.

“We have tomorrow. There’s no rush. You can sleep.”

“But…” He yawned, desperate to keep his eyes open. So many questions. He needed answers. Immediately. “You already prepared the Jingshi for my arrival.” He recalled the room of things stocked just for him.

“Mn. When I had asked you to come to Gusu with me a year ago, I planned for you to stay here with me. As friends. But then the incident with the Wens happened.” He turned his head and met Wei Wuxian’s eye in the darkness. “After that, I knew I must marry you instead. Your best chance at protection.”

Wei Wuxian bit his lip. “I didn’t mean to force your hand.”

“You forced nothing. I am happy with this turn of events.”

Releasing a long breath, he replied honestly, “Me too.”

Again, they lay in silence, taking comfort in the other’s presence. It felt easy. Natural. To be with each other like this. Almost as if they’d dropped the last puzzle piece on the floor and hadn’t been able to find it until now. It was a perfect fit. The puzzle was complete.

Another burning question came to the forefront of his mind. “What did Zewu-Jun ask? Tell me! Or else…” He positioned his fingers over Lan Wangji’s ribs. “I’ll tickle you. ”

Lan Wangji tipped his head to the side, giving him a disbelieving stare as if to say it was a child’s threat. But then he sighed and closed his eyes. “He asked if it was a real marriage. If we had consummated the union. And if…” His throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed. “And if we had planned to.”

“What?!” he squeaked. “Why would your brother ask all that?”

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. Your reaction does not sound so favorable.”

“Oh, no no no. I definitely plan to,” he said, licking his lips while eyeing his husband’s mouth.

Lan Wangji stared at him. “I must know when you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking. I’m serious! This is the problem with you and I. You need to learn my joking habits, and I need to learn your facial expressions.”

His husband sighed. “Wei Ying…” But he caught sight of the darkening tips of the man’s ears beneath the candlelight in the room.

“Why would Zewu-Jun ask something so personal?”

“We’re close,” Lan Wangji explained. “We tell each other everything.”

“I dunno. I think that’s kinda weird if you talk to each other about that . You know?”

His husband let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “He only asked out of concern for me. He cautioned against my decision to marry you. He thought you might truly break my heart.”

Wei Wuxian placed his hand over Lan Wangji’s chest, feeling each heartbeat within. His heart beat fast. Even faster with his hand touching him. “I’ll take good care of it,” he whispered. “I won’t ever allow it to crack.”

Hesitantly, Lan Wangji placed his hand on top of Wei Wuxian’s, and they lay there in silence, listening to cicadas create music outside the window. He dared to take his husband’s hand in his own and lifted it to his lips, kissing his palm, then his wrist, before holding his hand against his cheek. The tips of Lan Wangji’s ears darkened. He did not pull away.

“Anddddd…” Wei Wuxian paused, not sure he wanted to know the answer but needing to know, nonetheless. “The council meeting… Was it bad? They didn’t trash talk me too much, did they?” He started biting his nails. “Uncle Qiren is going to throw me out, isn’t he? He hates me more than anyone.”

“No.” Lan Wangji resumed stroking his hair comfortingly. “It was a lot of back and forth with me, asking about your previous whereabouts, your activities, your motives. We spoke of your absent golden core…”

Wei Wuxian froze, his fingers clinging tightly to Lan Wangji’s robes. “And? What did you say?” he whispered.

“Nothing that you wouldn’t want me to have said. But the knowledge of the core’s absence has exonerated you from your practice of another cultivation technique. It has put in better focus your motives for doing such a thing in the first place.”

He released a long breath, grateful to have Lan Wangji as his advocate. “And will they let me stay? With you?”

“No matter their decision, I will always stay with you. Wherever that may be.”

He swallowed. “Soooo, I have to leave then.” He corrected himself, “ We have to leave.”

Lan Wangji shook his head. “We get to stay . As long as Lan Zhan’s wife behaves himself.”

Wei Wuxian lifted up three fingers. “Lan Zhan’s wife will be on his best behavior!”

His husband gave him a look of playful doubt.

Wei Wuxian scoffed, nudging the other man teasingly in the ribs. “You should be more worried about yourself! Sneaking Emperor’s Smile into the Cloud Recesses. I’m not sure I’m the naughty rule-breaker between the two of us—oomph!”

Lan Wangji grabbed Wei Wuxian’s hands and pinned them above his head by the wrists.

Wei Wuxian gave his husband a sultry grin and murmured, “Lan Er-gege.”

The other man’s grip tightened around his wrists, and in a quick motion, he leaned forward and bit down on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder.

“Ah, Lan Zhan!” he yelped. “Don’t bully your wife.”

But Lan Wangji only bit him again on the neck. Wei Wuxian gasped, surprising himself by enjoying the rough treatment. He didn’t have much experience with anything romantic, so these new discoveries were thrilling.

“Hanguang-Jun!” Wei Wuxian whined, trying to wriggle out of Lan Wangji’s grip. But in doing so, Lan Wangji stripped himself of his forehead ribbon and tied Wei Wuxian’s hands together so thoroughly that it would be a miracle if he ever broke free of the bonds.

In a rough movement, Lan Wangji pinned him against the bed and captured his lips in a deep, devastating kiss.

Wei Wuxian’s entire body flushed with heat. The ice within his heart shattered, replaced by perpetual happiness. He’d never thought he could feel such joy. Such belonging. Such relief. Loving his friend. Being loved in return. There was no better feeling. And when he’d never been kissed in such a way—

His eyes shot open as something tugged hard at the back of his mind. He pushed and shoved at Lan Wangji’s chest, and only on the third attempt did his husband push himself up on his hands and broke their kiss. Lan Wangji breathed heavily, his eyes hooded with desire.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Wei Wuxian said, bracing a hand against Lan Wangji’s chest. “This feels familiar.” And then he gasped as he recalled what, exactly, was familiar about the kiss. “It was you!” He pointed an accusatory finger at his husband. “When I was blindfolded. On Phoenix Mountain. You were the one who kissed me!” He gasped again when the clarity of what this meant hit him across the head. “Hanguang-Jun!”

Lan Wangji squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. It was wrong.”

“Ha! Don’t say sorry about that . I thought about your kiss for months! I’m just surprised you didn’t step forward to confess. You know, Lan rules about honesty and virtue and standards and all that.”

“I lost control. It won’t happen again.”

Wei Wuxian pouted and batted his eyelashes at him. “Lose control all you want. Nowhere did I say I was complaining.”

The light color in Lan Wangji’s eyes filled with an intensity as he directed his gaze at him. “Wei Ying,” he whispered.

“Lan Zhan,” he said in an equal whisper.

His husband pulled him into another kiss filled with passion and dare he think it, love. 

“I love you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian murmured between kisses. How could he not after everything his husband had done for him? After everything they had gone together throughout their lives?

Lan Wangji placed a lingering kiss on Wei Wuxian’s forehead. “I love you, Wei Ying.”

Unable to stand any sort of distance between them, Wei Wuxian wrapped his bound arms around his husband’s neck and held him tightly, no space between them. Lan Wangji had changed his life for good. For the better. And now they never needed to part again.

Chapter Text

Lan Wangji glanced up from his paperwork and fixed his attention on the door of the library that hadn’t opened all day. His wife had promised to return yesterday. He hadn’t. It wasn’t a big deal. Sometimes when he visited the Wens, Wei Ying stayed longer than planned. But he always sent word that he’d come home late.

There had been no such word, even a day later.

He set down his writing brush. But after a moment, he picked it back up to busy himself. Wei Ying was fine. He could handle himself better than anyone he knew. Lan Wangji didn’t need to fly into a fit of anxiety because of something so small. Wei Ying was allowed his independence. He thrived on it, even. An over-stepping husband would be irritating to him.

Even so, only after a few minutes, he set down his brush once again as the door to the library finally opened.

However, one of the junior disciples entered rather than Lan Wangji’s wife of five months.

Where was he? Why hadn’t he sent word?

His imagination grew wild as he thought of all the things that could have happened in the past five days of Wei Ying’s absence. He could have fallen ill. Someone could have hurt him.

His fists shook with terror as he thought of another possibility.

He could have hurt himself.

The mere idea caused him to leap to his feet, papers scattering across the ground in his haste. His anxiety got the best of him as he rushed out of the library, dozens of eyes trailing his every movement. He wasted no time as he mounted Bichen and took off, traveling through the skies in the direction of the Burial Mounds.

His heart pounded. His forehead became damp with perspiration that had nothing to do with the spiritual energy expended to fly as quickly as possible to his destination. Wei Ying needed to be alright. Lan Wangji would not survive losing him!

The journey took far too long, as the late afternoon slowly sank into dusk until the faint blush of light illuminated the Burial Mounds in the distance.

A shimmering barrier of spiritual energy rippled across the area, forcing Lan Wangji to land outside its perimeters.

Breathing heavily, he started toward the barrier and strummed on the humming energy preventing him from entering. If Wei Ying was at the Burial Mounds, the action was supposed to alert him to either a guest or an intruder.

He didn’t have to wait long before a slender man wearing black robes appeared down the path, his expression bright and filled with surprise.

Lan Wangji’s legs wobbled. He nearly collapsed in relief.

“Lan Zhan!” his husband shouted excitedly, waving wildly with one hand while the other held a bundle against his shoulder.

“Wei Ying?”

His husband was alive and well and happy . He really shouldn’t have been so worried. But still…he sensed something off.

“What are you doing here?” Wei Ying laughed as he exited the barrier and approached before kissing Lan Wangji on the cheek. “You’ve never come to the Burial Mounds before.”

“I…” He bit his lip, embarrassed to have worried so heavily. Wei Ying hadn’t shown any signs of depression or desire to self-harm for months. He couldn’t allow himself to jump to such drastic conclusions again.

Wei Ying sucked in a sharp breath and smacked himself in the forehead. “Oh! I forgot to send a message telling you I’d get home late. Oh, Lan Zhan. I bet you were so worried. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” But then his eyes narrowed when he noticed the bundle kick in his husband’s arms. A small, ragged shoe peeked out from the bottom of the blanket.

Using Bichen’s hilt, he pushed away the top of the blanket to reveal a sleeping child bundled inside, his expression weary with tear stains down his plump cheeks. Tangled black hair reached his shoulders. His body appeared frail and thin. He couldn’t have been more than four years old.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispered, a soft smile on his face as he gazed down at the sleeping boy. But when he glanced back up, his expression turned serious. “I found him in the streets of Yiling. An orphan. Parents and family unknown. He shows great promise to become a cultivator in Gusu.”

His lips parted in surprise when he understood what Wei Ying chose not to say. This boy was a Wen. From the Burial Mounds. An orphan. His identity must remain a secret.

And his husband wanted to bring the boy back home.

“Mn. It will not be easy to find someone who will take him in.”

“Well…Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying’s mouth widened in a large, breathtaking smile. He was rather taken with it, staring at the sweet way it curved upward. At least until he realized what the other man was implying.

He cautiously glanced between the two of them. “You want him?”

Wei Ying beamed. “I birthed him. Just for you, Lan Zhan.” He placed a hand to his heart. “I’m only performing my wifely duties.”

After five months of marriage, he could now easily differentiate between teasing and truth. Between jokes and sincerity. Wei Ying truly meant it. He wanted this child.

“What is his name?” he asked reverently, watching the sleeping child with more interest.

“A-Yuan.” Wei Ying tapped his own chin with his finger. “I can’t decide on the family name. Should he be Wei Yuan or Lan Yuan? What do you prefer, Lan Zhan?”

His spouse stilled, waiting on his answer. Waiting for him to either reject or accept the child as their own. Although they’d only been married for less than a year, there was something about the image of Wei Ying mothering a child that made him weak in the knees.

True, his life would get a little louder and more disrupted, but he’d long since grown used to it after marrying Wei Ying. His wife was not a quiet spouse. But he did, at the very least, respect Lan Wangji’s need for quiet and routine throughout the day. He even followed most of the Gusu Sect rules most of the time. It was far more than he’d expected at the beginning.

“Always the husband’s name to honor patrilineal inheritance,” Lan Wangji said, brushing his finger against the child’s cheek. “Lan Yuan. Courtesy name…” He thought for a moment before coming up with something perfect for the boy. “Lan Sizhui.”

Wei Ying released an audible breath, relief painted clearly on his face. “Come on, little radish. It’s time to go home.”

Wei Ying shuffled past him with the child tucked safely in his arms. Their child. The realization stole his breath away. He was a father. It had only taken two minutes in his wife’s presence, and he’d somehow become a parent. It was impossible to deny Wei Ying anything he wanted. He just loved him too dearly. And it appeared as if he now had a “little radish” to love as well.

He started to turn to follow his spouse but stopped short when he noticed shadows emerging from the base of the Burial Mounds. He reached for Bichen, but his hand paused on the sword’s hilt when he realized the shadows were people. Not just people.

Wens.

The Wens stepped out of the shadows one by one before bowing low to him, showing deep gratitude for taking A-Yuan from them. For providing him a good life and opportunities he might not have had otherwise.

Lan Wangji cupped his hands together and returned their bow with one of his own, showing them respect and gratitude for trusting him and Wei Ying to take care of the child. He would grow up well, with a loving, brilliant mother and the disciplining guidance from a father. He silently promised to not let them down.

He took a step backward but paused, glancing from Wen to Wen with a downturned mouth. Yes, they got to take Lan Sizhui out of a bad situation. But what about the rest of them?

Behind him, Wei Ying tugged lightly on Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon. “There’s nothing more we can do. Not right now. Not until the world starts to forget them.”

Still, he hesitated.

Wei Ying tugged on the ribbon once more until Lan Wangji turned to find regret in the man’s eyes. “I’ve done all I can for now. They’re growing food. Making wine. Building houses. It’s a hard life, but they’re happy to spend it together.”

Finally, Lan Wangji turned to follow Wei Ying away from the Burial Mounds, his heart full of bittersweet feelings. Regret for not being able to do more for the Wens. Pride for all Wei Ying had accomplished. Gratitude for Wei Ying and their new son. Hope for a bright future with their family of three.

Although Lan Wangji didn’t like touching other people aside from Wei Ying and his close family members, he reached over and took Lan Sizhui from his other half and cradled the sleeping boy against his chest. He was even lighter than he looked. He reminded him…

Of the day he’d found Wei Ying at his lowest point. Back then, he’d been too light. Too thin. Too unhappy and guarded. With Lan Sizhui, he expected it might be no different. But he was a patient man. Nothing worth having was meant to be rushed.

Wei Ying threw his arms around Lan Wangji’s waist, engulfing both him and their son in an embrace. His wife rested his head against his arm and glanced up with bright eyes shining with joy. “I appreciate you so much! Your pity marriage to me was the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.”

Lan Wangji’s mouth twitched as he fought a soft smile. He recognized the joking in his wife’s tone this time, too. “You were bound to pick up a stray sooner or later and bring them home. It was only a matter of time.”

“What can I say?” Wei Ying curled his fingers to look like claws. “This momma cat needs a kitten or two.” He lifted his head and offered a bright, beaming smile—the kind of smile that had been absent only a few mere months ago. “I’m so happy, Lan Zhan. Thank you.”

“For what?”

Wei Ying placed a hand on his arm to stop him before wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. His body flushed with warmth, with longing, with love. He’d never known he could love someone so fiercely until knowing Wei Ying.

“For everything,” Wei Ying breathed when they broke apart.

Lan Wangji pulled his spouse closer until he had one arm wrapped around him and the other around Lan Sizhui.

Yes…

Everything worth having was most certainly worth waiting for.