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Red was exhausted. They were exhausted and they weren't thinking straight and GOD they missed CK. All they wanted was CK to hold them and say everything would be alright.
Red curled up in their bed, the glow from their phone screen illuminating their face as they slowly checked the anons. Diamond, Key, and Confetti. It was just them. No CK, no Valerie, nobody in the government other than them.
Red didn't know if this was a good or bad thing.
They lazily started typing, exhaustion seeping into what they wrote. The letters were jumbled, yet legible. That was all that mattered, as long as those three could tell what they were saying. They typed out a response to a previous message from Diamond about their riches.
RED: sshhaaree wuthnme
Red got a reply of course, from Key, who replied with concern behind the reason for the way Red was typing.
"Red aight over 'ere? Blud ain't typing normally. <🔑>”
Red chuckled as they saw the message, happy that at least someone was showcasing genuine worry about them. It brought a smile to their face.
RED: ,tiuereed
The reply was short, yet got the message across. Red couldn't be bothered to write anything longer.
"Oi, I ain't think 'ey alright. <🔑>”
For whatever reason, they started to slightly tear up, only to furiously wipe away at the tears as if they were poison. They shouldn't be crying over a simple feeling. Red just replied with a drowning emoji.
"Ey, don't cry. Hell is up with ya'? Ain't in a, rude way. <🔑>”
The tears began once more as they sniffled, writing out the next reply as best as their test brimmed eyes would allow them.
RED: ,8im TIREDD snd j miiss ckkkkkkk
It wasn't like they were lying. It was late and they didn't want to bother CK with their nonstop talk and chatter. CK was better off doing whatever he was doing at this time. Hopefully sleeping. It wasn’t healthy to stay up this late after all.
"You miss your parent? Awww, how cute. ``💎”
"Damn. 'Ey, go to sleep aight? Get some rest blud, he'll come back lat'r. <🔑>”
Red wiped at their eyes again, sniffling as they sank deeper into their mattress. They didn't want to sleep. What if CK needed them in the middle of the night?? Then what would they do?? Red sighed.
RED: .nnnnoo i wanna wiaist for himm
Maybe Red should've gone to sleep. It wasn't okay to be this vulnerable around the anons. CK told them that it would be used against them. Red never listened, because the anons were the only other people they could talk to other than the other members. Talking to the anons brought them comfort, even if they knew they were all set to die.
"You know he doesn’t really care about you, right? Only how useful you are? Agents like you don’t actually “care.” -🎉"
..Confetti. Confetti didn’t really like them. Or anyone like them. Confetti hated the government, and any of its members. In a way it hurt, knowing that Red was chalked up to being another monster who killed for fun.
RED: shshshhh.
"All of you make a mockery of what family means, whateverrr!!! -🎉”
"'Ey, let 'em miss someone 'ey care 'bout at least! <🔑>”
Red felt the tears start up again, but they made no move to wipe them. If CK was asleep, and nobody was awake, that meant they would be able to type here freely right..?
RED: iwbensnan make him bproud butt i jeep messidng uo sndb.hwuwuagswswaagahh ☹️
CK was the only person they wanted to make proud. They wanted to be seen as great in his eyes. They needed to be seen as enough in his eyes. It hurts whenever he disregarded them, or pushed them away.
“If the man is a father to this little child, then so be it. I’m not gonna be responsible for bringing them back together as a family though. ``💎”
RED: id dont ghink hes dmy dadd..
RED: ALSOO im not liittlle.!!!!!!!!
It always pissed them off whenever they were called little, because they weren’t. They were never a genuine child to begin with.
"What be the best way to say? I ain't know anythin' 'bout comfort. <🔑>"
RED: i dyhbnno..
They didn't get the chance to write again before Confetti sent another message.
" But why make it OUR problem? I mean, they try and kill us every other day! They’ve killed our loved ones, our families! It’s so dumb how all of you play along with this! They wouldn’t show any of us mercy, why should we? We’re better off sending a message. Only when the government is gone can we all truly celebrate. -🎉”
"But aren’t you 15 years old? That sounds little to me. ``💎 "
While choosing to ignore Diamond, they focused on what Confetti said. All of this was just making Red feel like more of a monster than they already did. They were bad at guessing, they've only killed once (not even solo), and they're always trying to help!
RED: i didfnt CHOOOOSE ti be geteere
" 'Ey, ain't that a bit too rude? Think 'bout it, at least a few of 'em has.. Empathy, ain't it right? Look at 'em. <🔑>"
RED: I juusrt didn't gaxvve anywhere elklas ro GO.
RED: i didkdnt wanna be eback hokme!!!!!
" Empathy didn’t do anything to save the dead. - 🎉
"Relax, Confetti. I doubt Red’s kill list has that many names on it, and even so, they’re just a kid. They were probably forced into an organization like that, right? Poor little child being forced to make horrible decisions this early in their life.. What a pity. ``💎"
They didn't know how to feel about this. They knew they weren't at fault here. Red knew that maybe something happened with Confetti to make them hate the government but at the same time it hurt .
At least Diamond and Key seemed to care.
RED: ii ranan awayayyy....annd tgenck foundnmeme..
RED: ihe e only killed onenpeorrons....and iut was wiwuwth ck!!!!!
"Blud, just because most of 'em has a damn kill list, don't mean they all supa' long. Look, brotha, as in a gender neutral way. Look at the poor Red, ain't they lookin' like on the verge of cryin'? <🔑>"
"What a corrupt father. Aren’t parents supposed to support their children? To guide them and shield them from things that a child shouldn’t know? Especially things like murder. Poor Red, you have no real companions, do you? ``💎”
That hit..hard. Harder than what Red wanted to admit. Did CK really care or was it all a facade?? No, no they can't think like this. CK told them that he'd always be there, they can't start doubting him now.
RED: ...i dodnnkt know. ckkc said he cafares abaoiay me snd di yrust him
"If big man CK said killing us would make him proud i’m sure they’d follow. LOOK how they’re talking—they don’t care about us. - 🎉
"Oi, 'Ey just a kid, do ya' THINK they really can control what be controllin' them? <🔑>"
"Because Red was raised that way, weren’t they? It’s a pity, really. You have a point, Confetti. CK could tell Red to jump off a cliff with no parachute and they’d do it, just like a flightless bird. Can’t you see how upset they are? A little child has no place in a corrupt organization like the government. There, there, little child… ``💎"
Maybe they should just get to bed. This was too much.
RED: i donbt like rhis olacce..
"Oi, Kid, come on, don't cry. Just cause your fatha figure ain't here, ain't gonna mean he's gone forever. 'Ey, ya' have us here. <🔑>"
In a way, Key’s writing comforted them. They liked when people stayed. Even if technically Red shouldn’t be forming bonds with these people, it still felt nice to know the anons at least cared.
"But I’m only saying the truth. You were raised in a corrupt environment, it’s only natural you’d end up this way. I pity you, Red. One day you’ll break out of the corrupt shell CK and the others have kept you in. Feeding you lies like “This is for the better” and “You’re doing a great job” won’t get you anywhere, right? When will the time come for you to make your own decisions? ``💎"
….Maybe Diamond was right. Maybe one day they would be able to escape. And, and the anons care right? They all showed that they cared so they would be better off with them. Yeah. That sounded nice.
RED: rreally..?
"If you really do have a semblance of emotion, or whatever, then help us. Help us avoid the executions, otherwise I don’t believe you when you say you “care.” - 🎉"
RED: ,,ii donnt knoiw. i donhy rvink i can leaave
Their head hurt.
RED: [REPLY TO DIAMOND] hhpw do i fo thR wuhtiut getting in trouble...????????
"If they’ve trapped you, then break out. There’s no such thing as “I’m forced to stay”, it’s only “I don’t know how to leave”. Resist the government, and you’ll find a pot of happiness at the end of the rainbow. `` 💎"
Resist and things will only get worse.
RED: nonknon theyll kill me...god i shdodulnt be telelung yobthis..
If CK finds out about this they’ll be in so much trouble.
"Only if you get found. ``💎"
RED: im not...good at hdiidng
"… I. It’ll be ok, you’re a trainee, right? You don’t need to help them—they don’t expect much from you. When the rebellion gets more power we’ll—uh—save you. Like those rescue movies! And we’ll throw a celebration, i guess. Don’t do anything to risk yourself, but uh, it would be nice if you don’t aid in the guessing. -🎉
RED: yeah yehah...i am. you...yuu woudld reallay save me...?
"You don’t want to be an agent, right? Then I have no problems with you!! ….. -🎉
__________
Confetti started at the screen, conflicted. They’re… young. They can be helpful, they’re not betraying his legacy. It’ll be fine. They’ll get a tool to use and the government has one less trainee. They’re doing this for the rebellion. Thats all. They can’t feel any kind of pity for any of that organization's members.
__________
"…Yes, you’ll be taken into the care of generous anonjis who feel for the pain you’ve been through. After all, we’ve all been through something. If you prove that you’re not who the government wants you to be, then you’ll be welcomed by us with open arms. ``💎"
RED: please i domt eant to do yjdir anymore i feel disdgusting please esave me
__________
That was it. The end of the conversation. Red didn’t speak much about it to anybody else, but they kept it in the back of their mind. One day, they would be able to leave. Red just couldn’t lose hope. They had to stay strong even if it hurt. Because they knew that one day they could live normally.
__________
Red hasn’t thought of escaping in a while.
Maybe it was because they know that it won’t help them. Because they’ll never truly be safe. They watched helplessly as the anons they became friends with were picked off and executed one by one. The idea that Diamond had placed in their head of peace was slowly but surely melting away.
And…they couldn’t leave. CK was..
CK was dead. CK was dead and Red couldn’t leave after everything that happened. They would look horrible. His death was their fault. CK left right before he did it of course it was his fault. Red would cry, yet they had stopped long ago.
Red didn’t know if their lack of enthusiasm was a giveaway to how they felt about escaping, but they hoped it was. They didn’t want to admit that they had thought about leaving this place. It was their life now.
Red sat in front of their monitor, watching the anons talk freely as if nothing was wrong. It made them all the more upset. They should all die. They needed to die they were sick of seeing how happy they all were.
A message popped up in their inbox.
“Ever wonder what it feels like to be in paradise?”