Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“And that's the scene.”

Rui looks on from the front row with his familiar cheshire smile on his face, the script folded up in his hand as he claps. Though it was just the first few days of practicing this particular show, Rui knew that his troupe mates had this under control, that the vision he was thinking of would be enacted to its fullest.

The Wonderland Sekai was as vibrant as ever, the ever cloudless sky shining down on the students, even with the main tent having no windows – one of the many mysteries of this place. The Vocaloids gave them space to practice in peace, seeing how fired up they were. This mainly took a lot of wrangling from Kaito, but like he always does, he got them under control.

In just two weeks, Wonderlands x Showtime has a major performance coming up to celebrate the one year anniversary of the Wonder Stage’s revitalization. Their sponsors would be giving their rare attendance, watching for the growth of the group, and if continued funding would be feasible. Although it was an event Emu’s brothers would be promoting a lot more than their usual plays, they treated this rehearsal just as seriously as they always did.

“Phew… Rui, did we really have to run it three times in a row?” Nene asks while crouching down to catch her breath. Though she complains, she knows she would run it a fourth time then and there if asked.

“But wasn’t that so much fun, Nene-chan?! Let’s do it again!” Emu raises her hand whilst shouting, her energy seemingly unending.

“I concur! Rui, let’s run it back from the top!” Tsukasa yells from center stage whilst striking a pose suitable for a star, “I could do this an infinite amount of times!”

“Well I can’t, let’s take a break”

As much as Rui wanted to agree with the star, he unfortunately has eyes, and can see that the trio were all breathing heavily – flushed cheeks revealing how tired they actually were.

‘What I would give to run scenes until the end of time, but alas, we are only human.’

“I agree with Nene, let’s take a twenty minute breather, we’ll come back to this when we are all refreshed.” As much as Rui wanted to continue, he knew the mark of a good Director was knowing when the actors have reached their limits.

As much as Tsukasa outwardly was remiss with that decision, on the inside, he was quietly thankful; he could feel his energy reserves running low.

And with that announcement, the troupe split off to do their own things for the next twenty minutes. Rui looked over the script to see which parts he felt translated well to real life, and which parts needed to be edited. Nene sat on the edge of the stage, drinking her water and catching her breath. Emu went looking backstage for the plushies, eager to talk to those lovable kids once again.

…..

Tsukasa chooses to take his break outside the main tent, behind the tall building, keen for some fresh air and a place to practice some of his blocks with some semblance of privacy. Though a star thrives from the gazes of an audience, everyone needs a little ‘me’ time now and again.

He tries to keep these moments of quiet reprieve few and far between due to his thoughts being eager to fill in the silence with unwanted words.

Tsukasa’s movements slowed down without his knowledge until they eventually…stopped. His figure formed a tableau of someone in deep thought, his head tilted downwards, his arms loosely by his sides, and his brows furrowed.

The star doesn’t know when this problem arose, his thoughts turning against him, but that barely mattered; what mattered were its contents. He had only been a part of Wonderlands x Showtime for a year, but that was probably the best year of his life. Meeting Rui and the others gave him experiences he wouldn’t trade anything to replace.

This love is beautiful, but it is also dangerous.

His view on the future turned from an optimistic light he was forever reaching towards to an abyss of pure uncertainty; and that terrified him. No matter how many reassurances he tells himself, it will never fully silence the voice inside his mind.

‘One day, all of this will be gone – don’t be complacent.’

‘Nene will eventually become a world-class songstress, Rui will become a director every actor would kill to have on their team, and Emu will bring smiles wherever she goes with little effort’

‘Cling on to the present, for it will all be gone too soon’

‘Enough’ Tsukasa decided to put a temporary stop to these thoughts, why should he be depressed now when all of his friends are around him! He knew he couldn’t afford to fixate on the future when something so important was happening in the present.

Tsukasa decided to finally take the break Rui forced upon them, and sat down on the bench in front of him, crouching down to grab his water bottle. He leans back while he sips, closing his eyes and taking a moment to relax his muscles.

Though this was supposed to be a break, Tsukasa couldn't help but open his eyes again and look around – something was off. The normally vibrant atmosphere seemed…dull. The normally loud and bubbly flowers were unusually silent, the bright sky was dampened by ominous grey clouds, and the air seemed like it was pressing into me.

He looked around him from his seat for what could be causing it or if there were any Vocaloids in the area he could turn to for help. But there was no one.

In his fear, the star accidentally knocks over his open bottle, spilling the half filled container onto the ground.

‘Argh! This is just fantastic. Get yourself together Tsukasa, a star doesn’t freak out over nothing! You better hope Rui has an extra bottle’

As Tsukasa leans over to pick up the bottle, he looks at himself in the reflection of the puddle. He is used to examining himself in the mirror, or really any reflective surface, it’s standard practice for any star. What he sees in his reflection, however, is something he’s never seen when looking in mirrors.

Sunset colored eyes replaced with a striking golden color, almost glowing. Despite his current expression being one of shock and confusion, that’s not what he sees in the reflection. A wide, almost uncanny, smile, is staring back at him. Though this unreflecting reflection is wearing the same clothes as him, has its hair in the same style as him he knows that it isn’t him.

Tsukasa jumps back from the puddle, from the fake he saw in front of him, almost tripping over his own foot in his haste. He falls back on his hands and sits there for a bit, trying to process what he just saw. This could be some kind of Sekai-esque nonsense that just wasn’t explained to him – he knows that not many things in the Sekai could be given a solid explanation.

Despite the many excuses running through his mind, he knows, deep in his heart, that this isn’t normal.

…..

After twenty minutes, Rui finally gets up from his seat and looks up from his script. After many highlighting and crossing out, he feels like he is definitely getting closer to the final draft. He looks across the stage to find Nene standing up and Emu stepping out from backstage, both girls lookingly fully rested and ready to rehearse once again.

“Okay guys, are we ready to run it back from the top?” Rui asks.

“Mn”

“Yes!”

“Alright then, I’ll just go grab Tsukasa, and we’ll start right away.”

Rui sees the two girls nod before turning around and exiting the stage. After leaving and putting down the front flap, he immediately goes around the tent to the back. The director knows exactly where his star loves to practice. He expected to see the boy either sitting down on the bench like he hoped he was, or, what he knew he was most likely to see, Tsukasa practicing his lines with the utmost flare.

But he saw neither of those, what he saw was Tsukasa staring at something on the ground completely still. Rui furrowed his eyebrows, knowing that stillness is completely unlike the boy. As he approached, he realized that what the other was staring at was a puddle on the ground, most likely caused by the upturned water bottle next to it.

“Oya Tsukasa-kun~ I didn’t know you were such a messy drinker.” Rui announced his presence with levity in his voice, hoping that would get the other boy to snap out of it and start moving again.

Tsukasa startled and quickly snapped his head around to look at Rui, almost snapping his neck in the process. Rui noticed how wide his eyes were, how pale his face looked.

“Rui–! I uh…” Tsukasa was never one to stutter over his own words, usually projecting his voice with the highest amount of confidence – none of that was visible right now, “I…spilled my water. Haha, how foolish of me. A star should never be so inelegant!”

The recovery was awkward and stilted– both boys could see how false the lightheartedness was.

“...Aiyah, Tsukasa-kun. That’s alright, I think stars are allowed to be clumsy every once in a while; there’s no use crying over spilled milk…or water in this case.”

The duo could both feel the unaddressed tension in the air, but had the silent agreement not to address it. Perhaps that was the wrong choice, but it wasn’t like either of them knew how to go about it.

“You’re here to tell me it’s time to rehearse again right! Let’s go then! I’m all fired up right now!” Tsukasa suddenly said after a brief silence, rushing to move past Rui towards the entrance of the stage.

Rui turned to look at Tsukasa as he was passing by, lips already shaping to form a concerned question. But he stayed silent, not knowing how to go about it.

Both of them walked back together to the stage, the two of them unusually silent. Normally, there would be light banter back and forth, but there was none of that.

……

After the third runthrough of the show, it was obvious how tired the trio on stage was –  even Emu was showing signs of fatigue. Though they were tired, their hearts were as energized as possible with the knowledge of them being ever so closer to finalizing this.

“Okay guys, let's wrap up for the night.” Rui announced, clapping his hands once to get their attention.

The three on stage breathed a sign of almost relief before going to gather their things. As they walked down the steps on the side, the weariness in their steps were mixed with pride– pride knowing that this show was going to be a good one.

Tsukasa zipped up his bag after changing out of his costume, hooking it over his shoulder. He grabbed his phone to check the time; the excitement of performing caused him to lose track of time.

As he glanced at the darkened screen before turning it on, he noticed something – something he had the unfortunate luck of encountering earlier.

Those golden eyes he saw earlier were back, as well as the unnerving smile. It looked the exact same as it had in the puddle.

Tsukasa almost dropped his phone in shock, and that didn’t go unnoticed by his other troupemates.

“What’s up with you, Tsukasa?” Nene asked almost unkindly, but the hint of concern could still be heard in the undertones of her voice.

“Eh? Tsukasa, what's wrong? Your aura is less sparkly and shiny than usual!”

“...” Rui just looked at him, his gaze almost seemingly going into the depths of his mind.

“Ah… Oh, haha! I just realized that I’m supposed to be home right now! Me and Saki promised to have dinner together! I just realized when I saw the time.” Tsukasa wracked his brain for that excuse, something believable but not too dramatic that it would be questioned.

“I have to go…right now! Apologies for not being able to walk home with you all! See you tomorrow at school, Nene and Rui!”

And with that, Tsukasa rushed, almost ran, past the three of them and out the front of the tent, leaving the three of them to look at the space where he just was in confusion. They all had the inkling that he was lying straight through his teeth, but what could they do, he already left by the time they got their bearings.

Tsukasa quickly closed the front flap and steeled himself to look at his phone once again.

‘Come on Tsukasa, a true star wouldn’t be afraid of tricks of the light like that! You are embarrassing yourself! It’s just a phone, open it, click the song, and that’s all…’

Despite the little pep talk he gave himself, he could still feel some tendrils of fear in his heart. Despite that, he knew that if took his sweet time in leaving, the others would catch up to him and his lie would fall apart.

Tsukasa took a deep breath, and quickly brought the phone up to his face and turned it on, not giving himself the opportunity to look at his reflection – or whatever would be staring back at him.

He clicked on Untitled and saw the translucent triangles fill up his vision. He looked up from his phone screen for a second to glance at his surroundings as they were fading out of view and saw…it.

Behind a lightpole, almost flickering at the edges, was that cursed reflection he kept on seeing. But this time the reflection was given physical form, becoming more than just a trick of the light. It had almost seemed like the world in the proximity of that being had dimmed, turning exceptionally dull in contrast with the bright Sekai all around it.

Tsukasa could feel his breath get caught in his throat, his heart feeling like it was skipping one too many beats. He could only stare back at this mirror image of himself in fear, and almost awe– he couldn’t believe what was happening. The Sekai was already otherworldly as it was, but this was edging on uncanny horror.

As he faded from the Sekai, the figure didn’t move, it just stayed…staring at him with the smile that haunted his mind during the latter half of rehearsals.

Searing into his mind.

…..

Tsukasa quickly stepped through the front door, his quick steps and unceremonious closing of the door alerting his sister to his presence.

“Ah, Oni-hhan! Welcome home!” Saki shouted from the couch, putting her phone down to glance behind her to her brother.

Normally by this time, Tsukasa would have already been shouting back with just as much excitement in his voice, the both of them falling into a routine that was upkept ever since she went back to school.

Instead of hearing his loud, boisterous voice, Saki heard an almost sort of…meekness.

“Oh Saki…I’m back. I’m going to go straight to my room, no need to wait for me. We were practicing harder than ever– any good star needs his beauty rest!”

“Alright…wait! What about dinner? You probably haven’t eaten since lunch!”

“We ate during our break haha…! I’m going to go straight to bed, goodnight Saki.”

“Oh…well goodnight Oni-chan.”

But Tsukasa had already made a dash up the stairs before she could even finish her sentence.

….

As Tsukasa puts his phone into charge after putting on his pajamas, his mind wanders back to what happened earlier that day without his consent. That creepy face flashes in his mind like some type of analog horror. He didn’t want to associate something in his Sekai as being creepy, but there wasn’t any other good descriptor.

‘Although…can I even say that that thing is a part of the Sekai? Something seemed…different about it. It looked so dull, no matter how bright its golden eyes were.’

He tried to come up with theories, more like excuses, as to why he could have seen something like that. As much as he wanted to write it off as “Sekai Nonsense”, he knew in his heart of hearts that he couldn’t

Before Tsukasa turns off the lights and goes to bed, he risks one more glance at his mirror, the full length one he loved to practice his poses in.

And in that mirror, was the full length image of his divergent reflection. Flickering in and out of existence, before finally fading back into his likeness.

Chapter Text

The early morning was always the most relaxing time of the day for Tsukasa. The cool mist still felt in the air and the rising sun was always a good way for him to clear his mind, and get ready to take on the day.

This morning, however, Tsukasa could call it anything but relaxing.

The memory of what happened in the Sekai, what he saw in the water and in the mirror was all he could focus on. It felt like that haunting smile was seared into his mind’s eye, and imprinted itself in his dreams. Tsukasa tried all types of measures to explain away what happened, but he knew what he saw.

The mist of the morning went unnoticed as Tsukasa walked to school, and the sunrise was the last thing in his mind. The world had gone quiet.

“Ah, Tsukasa-senpai!”

A distant voice burst through the fogginess of his mind. Tsukasa turned around and was faced with his pseudo-brother, Toya, quickly walking up to him with a slight smile on his face.

Any normal person wouldn’t have been able to wipe the gloomy look off their face in time, but Tsukasa was a seasoned actor. Changing facial expressions was like child's play to him.

“Well, if it isn’t my wonder kohai Toya! How fortunate is it for us to meet up like this!”

No matter how much Tsukasa tried, it felt like he couldn’t feel his mouth moving, barely registering what he was saying.

He hoped Toya couldn’t tell.

“Yes, it is! You usually never leave home this early. Has something changed?” Toya was genuinely curious about this. He knows that Tsukasa would be remiss if he was ever late to school, but leaving at the same time that Toya left home almost never happened.

“Aha, well… I just woke up early today and figured there was no reason to be meandering at home. I admire you for getting up so early every day.”

That was a flimsy excuse and Tsukasa knew it, but it felt like his mind was lagging behind his words.

‘Get a grip, Tsukasa. You are embarrassing yourself.’

“Oh, it’s really no big deal. I’m used to waking up early to practice piano before school, and I guess that habit never left me.”

Tsukasa could see a slight furrow in Toya’s brow, whether that be from him catching onto his admittedly horrible lie, or the memories about the piano– he knew it was terrible of him to think so, but he hoped it was because of the piano.

If it was about the piano, then he would be too focused on that to think about his blatant lie.

“Nevermind that! Let’s walk together to school, it’s been a while since we really got to hang out.”

Though it was a pretty sharp change in topics, Tsukasa could see the excitement in Toya’s eyes at the thought of walking with him. No matter how bad he felt, seeing a smile on his friends faces would always bring up his mood.

….

Toya was surprised when he turned the corner and saw Tsukasa walking in front of him. Usually on his walks to class, he was left with nothing but his thoughts, or music he played from his headphones on occasion. Seeing him was like a breath of fresh air, so of course he practically speedwalked to him.

But as he got closer, raising his hand in preparation to greet Tsukasa, he noticed that the aura around him was different than normal. It wasn’t like Toya was some psychic and could read auras and all that, but even to the naked eye, it was like Tsukasa was always slightly glowing.

Toya just assumed because of how bright he was as a person.

But looking at him now, even in the low light of the early morning, the air around him was dulled. Maybe it was the way his hands gripped the straps of his bag, or how each step has some degree of hesitation to them.

“Ah, Tsukasa-senpai!”

After Toya called out to his Senpai, it was like watching a character flip in real life; it was almost amazing. As Tsukasa turned to face him, Toya could see his spine visibly straighten– he didn’t even realize it was slouched in the first place, his muscles loosen, and his usual smile plastered upon his face.

Toya got next to the other boy, expecting his observations to be just that: observations. But when he was alongside Tsukasa, more worrying things popped in his mind left and right.

‘Tsukasa-senpai never hesitates on his words so much.’

‘His smile is strained.’

‘He’s speaking… a lore more grandiose than he usually does.’

As they walked together, Toya listening to Tsukasa’s every rambling word, he couldn’t stop the thoughts lingering in the back of his mind. It’s not like he had never seen Tsukasa down, but it was always shocking when it happened.

He knew he wasn’t as good with people’s emotions as he wanted to be.

Maybe he would talk to Akito about it later.

….

Tsukasa sat in his seat for class, and tried his best to keep his head down– not an easy feat now that he was thinking about it. His classmates knew him as the loud, extroverted noise maker, so he knew that this change in behavior was most likely jarring for them.

If he kept his eyes down, if he didn’t look at anything he didn’t need to, maybe he could write off what happened yesterday as pre-show jitters.

As his tired mind plays tricks on him.

“Good morning, Tsukasa-kun.”

The boy in question quickly picked up his head, and was greeted with the sight of his friend. Rui had on his typical, lax smile. Despite his mind twisting upon himself, he could feel himself relax ever so slightly in his presence.

“Rui, good morning to you too! Let’s have a good, normal, explosive-free day today!”

“Well…we’ll see. I hope you brought some good lunch today, because I sure didn’t.”

Talking with Rui, even just looking at his face, always had that magical ability to forget his worries, even just for a moment. Falling into banter with the boy was something that Tsukasa could do as easily as breathing.

He could still feel that fear in the back of his mind, but it was dulled down by talking with his director.

As Rui passed Tsukasa to get to his seat, Tsukasa’s eyes passively followed his movements– it was instinct. When Rui passed by the windows separating the classroom and the hallways, Tsukasa couldn't help but be caught by something he saw.

He felt his breath hitch, his eyes widening almost imperceptively.

There, in the window’s reflection, was the thing that haunted him yesterday. 

Those golden eyes seemed to be illuminating that section. Tsukasa would praise its shine and intensity if the situation in which he was seeing it was any different. That broad grin that appeared to split his face was the same as it was in his memory.

It was sitting in his seat, posture the exact same as his. It was wearing his uniform, repping his hairstyle.

Tsukasa felt his whole body stiffen unnaturally, surely looking strange to anyone who might have glanced at him. Any muscles that were relaxed after speaking to Rui tensed up double.

This wasn’t the same thing as seeing that cursed reflection in the Sekai, this was real life. Real life that follows real world logic. It was easy to suspend disbelief in someplace as magical as the Wonderland Sekai, but not here.

Tsukasa spared a quick glance around the classroom, looking to see if anyone else was seeing the same thing he was.

But everything was normal. He was the only outlier in this situation.

When he dared to glance back, the only thing looking back at him was himself. Same sunset colored eyes he saw in the mirror everyday. His facial expression was more morose than it usually was, but he still knew that it was him.

‘This is the fourth time I’m seeing this. Not in the Sekai…not in the mirror at home…but in public. And it seems to be just me…’

Tsukasa had no idea what to make of this, and was honestly too afraid to make theories. He knew that he should go to his friends about this, he knew that if he really wasn’t crazy, then this was something bigger than he could handle himself.

‘But…to interrupt our rehearsals for something so trivial, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I messed up the Anniversary show! No no, I can manage this by myself.’

A feeling of guilt welled up within him. 

Was it guilt for not feeling like he could talk to his friends?

Or was it guilt for going through something like this in the first place?

….

The bell over the loudspeaker finally rang later in the day, signaling that it was time for lunch. People in their classrooms dispersed, meeting up with their friends and pulling out their food.

Tsukasa didn’t know whether he felt relief or distress at that. One one hand, moving around helped to calm his mind. Talking with Rui at lunch always made him forget his worries.

Meeting up with Rui on the rooftops for lunch was a schedule that they had followed since forever, Tsukasa doesn’t remember when that exactly started, or who first suggested it– but that doesn’t matter.

He loved chatting about anything and everything that came to mind– what they did that day, plans they had, any upcoming shows, tricks they wanted to try. Tsukasa may want to be a star and tries to emulate that whenever he can, but that privacy he gets with Rui on the rooftop was something he would never trade away.

Their meeting today would be the same as any other, he hoped.

But on the other hand, listening to the lessons helped him temporarily forget what he had seen. Gave him an excuse to not look at anything else. He could put on this air of normalcy and pretend that what he was seeing was just a part of his tired mind.

‘You saw this thing in the real world, I think that we’re past that farce.’

No matter what he was feeling, he knew that he had to get up, and he knew that he needed to go to the rooftop. Rui was way too observant for his liking right now. Usually he would praise the boy’s attentiveness. A mark of a good director is being able to deeply understand their actors, to basically be able to tell what they are thinking at any given moment.

Rui left before him, so the only one hesitating was him.

And so, he got up, and left for the rooftop.

….

As the bell for lunch rang, Toya immediately got up and left his classroom. Usually, he would spend his time at his desk, usually listening to music on his headphones while eating.

But today, he had something important on his mind he had to consult someone about.

Tsukasa’s demeanor was still weighing heavily on his mind, even though he had just a brief interaction early in the morning. Toya could come up with one million reasons to excuse his behavior, one of them being tiredness.

It was early in the morning, earlier than he knew Tsukasa got up for school– it was the perfect reason. Anyone feeling sluggish would obviously act differently than how they usually do, it made complete sense.

But something in the back of his mind knew that it was something more than simple exhaustion.

So, he decided to talk to someone that knew Tsukasa almost as much as he did: Rui. As Tsukasa’s troupemate, Toya knew that they spent a lot of time together. If something happened at their previous rehearsal, then it was most likely Rui who knew what was wrong.

And even if Rui didn’t know, then it would be good to give him a heads up.

So, striding with purpose, Toya made his way to the 3-C classroom– Rui’s class. He weaved his way through the thrum of students, up the stairs, and through the hallways until he made it at the door.

But when he opened the door, the familiar bright purple hair was nowhere to be seen. He scanned his eyes back and forth, making sure he wasn’t mistaken, but he was not wrong.

‘Oh right, Rui and Tsukasa usually eat lunch together on the roof, I don’t know how I completely forgot.’

It seemed like Toya’s care for Tsukasa had the unfortunate effect of giving him almost tunnel vision, forgetting the most basic of facts. There was not much he could do now, he knew that by this time, they were probably already on the roof together, and he did not want to interrupt them.

‘I’m sure Tsukasa-senpai will be fine, I’ll tell Rui the next time I see him. Well…knowing Rui, he’ll probably be able to tell something is wrong even without my input.’

….

Tsukasa pushed the metal door open, squinting his eyes at the bright sun shining down on him. The fresh, cool air had a way of relaxing the tension within him, making the claustrophobic air from the school wash away from him. Everything was the same as it always was, the plants on the side, the tall metal fence, and that’s what made the roof such an enjoyable place.

It was like a quiet, little subspace just for him and Rui to enjoy, someplace away from the prying eyes of the world.

He looked in front of him and already saw Rui sat down at his usual spot against the fence, lunch bag already in hand and a relaxed expression upon his face.

“Oh, Tsukasa, you're here.” Rui looked up and smiled a content smile at him, hand raising up to slightly wave.

“Of course I am, where else would I be?”

Obviously Tsukasa had many friends, that was just something that came with being as extroverted as he was, but Rui was special.

He quickly made his way over to the other boy, and sat down at his usual spot next to him, talking out his own lunch bag. Within the bag was lunch made by his dearest sister, Saki. He’s always told her that she didn’t need to do something like that, but she consistently did it anyways.

Unfortunately for the meal, Tsukasa could already see Rui’s pleading eyes staring at it.

“Alright alright, no need to go through the whole song and dance, just take it Rui.”

Tsukasa rolled his eyes with no malice behind it, and handed his food over with a slight smile.

“Why do you keep packing veggies in your lunch anyways? Are you looking to take my food? I’m beginning to think that you do this on purpose.”

“Tsukasa…I would never ! My Mom packs my food every morning, I had no contribution to this.” He says as he quickly grabs the bag from Tsukasa’s hand, having no look of regret on his face, “This is the last time, I promise.”

They both knew he was lying.

They fell into their usual banter, lighthearted comments back and forth as they ate, but that feeling of worry never left the back of Tsukasa’s mind.

His constant glancing to any and every reflective surface on this roof he could find, which was a lot since they were sitting on metal, had obviously caught Rui’s eye. Tsukasa tried to act as normal as he could, keeping his eyes on Rui and giving the air of being engaged, but he couldn’t help himself.

Rui took on the burden of carrying the conversation, talking about anything that came to his mind, after seeing Tsukasa’s unusual absentmindedness. Going on about ideas for shows, new robots he wanted to build, things he’s read recently, anything that popped up.

After a brief silence, one that Rui was almost completely sure that Tsukasa didn’t notice, he finally said something.

“Is everything alright, Tsukasa-kun? You seem a bit distracted, you didn’t even say anything when I was talking about shooting you from a cannon again.”

That’s what finally got Tsukasa out of his head. He went from staring vaguely out in the distance, head tilted in the mimicry of listening to snapped right in Rui’s direction. His eyes widened slightly, staring holes into Rui’s.

Tsukasa had two paths he could take with this conversation. This was a golden opportunity for him to tell someone what was happening with him. Tell his best friend what was worrying him.

‘I know Rui won’t judge me, but…I don’t want to look like I’ve gone insane.’

He knew in his heart of hearts that this wasn’t something that he could sweep under the rug.

But yet, he couldn’t say a thing.

“Distracted? It’s nothing to worry about, dear director. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night, I was too busy practicing my role. I promise, I’ll try to get more tonight!”

He said all of this with an imitation of his signature smile, the type of smile that appeared like he had grabbed the Sun from its place in the sky, and placed it behind his head. Shining so brightly that one would have to instinctually squint their eyes.

But to Rui, that sunlight was dimmed. It was a mockery of the rays that usually shined from the other boy.

It was almost embarrassing how easily Rui could tell the difference.

“Tsukasa…” The worry within the director was screaming at him to confront the other with his lie. It was screaming at him to comfort him.

But alas.

‘It’s nothing to worry about Rui, I’m serious. It’s just some missed sleep messing with my mind. Let’s talk about the anniversary show now.”

His tone had taken an undercut of edge within it. A harsh bite that conveyed the message he was trying to deliver quite clearly.

‘I don’t want to talk about this anymore.’

And fortunately for Tsukasa, Rui had grasped that message quite clearly. But there was one question still flashing within his mind.

‘Is he trying to convince me, or himself?’

….

The final bell of the school day rang above the students, signaling the end of the day. Many students sighed with relief at that, getting up from their seats to meet up with their friends and plan how to spend the rest of their afternoons.

Usually, Tsukasa would be one of those many students, planning out his afternoon with his close friends. He would either be walking to rehearsals with Rui and Nene, or hanging out with Toya (and consequently Akito).

But today, the only thing in his mind was getting home, and hunkering down.

‘I just need some extra sleep…my mind really is punishing me today. I must have pushed myself too hard during rehearsals and made my mind overly tired. Then, that punishment affected my sleep…which made me more tired than I was before, resulting in these…whatever they are. Makes perfect sense!’

He knew he was making zero sense, even to himself, but the alternative was something he did not want to get into.

Tsukasa had been catching glimpses of that twisted reflection for the rest of the school day after having lunch with Rui, grinning just a bit too widely, like it was making fun of him.

Like it was criticizing him.

He knew that Rui would be expecting him to walk home together like always. Today wasn’t a rehearsal day, so they had the time to walk as slow as they wanted, talk about whatever they wanted, and do whatever they pleased.

But Tsukasa did not have the mental energy to be happy right at that moment.

To be honest, he was a little scared.

Tsukasa started speedwalking when he started thinking about those little glimpses. Whether it was due to him now wanting to accidentally bump into Rui, or wanting to get home as quickly as possible, he frankly didn’t care.

He exited the front doors, and squinted his eyes at the all too bright Sun shining down on him. The fresh, cool air did nothing to relieve the tension deep within his muscles. If anything, it encouraged him to walk quicker, to get to the safety of his room faster.

As he turned the corner after exiting the double gates, he felt his phone vibrate within his pocket– a text message.

A cold wave of fear washed over him, a reaction he had never felt before from something as simple as a text message. He was no introvert like Nene, whenever someone wanted to talk to him, he met it head on. He knew that if he pulled out his phone, he would have to take a look at his reflection, no matter how quickly he turned on his device to cover it up.

The combination of adrenaline fueled fear and brisk speedwalking had caused Tsukasa to lose energy more quickly than he normally would. The star was always proud of his ever increasing stamina from all of his workouts. The longer he could stand on stage, acting his heart out without panting, the happier he became.

But that stamina was nowhere to be found here.

He could feel his lungs burning inside of him, and understood he would have to give himself a little break if he didn’t want to collapse in a puddle of sweat when he reached his front door step.

The streets were strangely empty for this time of day, multiple schools in the district were getting out at this time, so it was normally packed with students of all ages. There was silence all around him, only broken from the sound of his own breathing.

‘Where…is everyone? I swear I just saw Kamiyama students on this path… I’m not that far from the school.’

Tsukasa glanced around him, his phone in his hand. No matter where he looked, from side to side or behind him, he was all alone.

That wave of fear came back two fold.

‘I’ll just respond to the message I got, and go straight home. I’m pretty sure I’ll see people on my way there. Stop being paranoid.’

The boy walked over to the wall of the building he was standing by. Even though he didn’t see anyone on the sidewalk with him, the manner drilled into him told him not to block the path texting.

He turned his back to the wall, and leaned back, hoping to catch his breath and text.

He leaned back with the expectation that the firm, solid wall behind him would meet his back.

But, that’s not what greeted him.

That solid feeling never came.

It was like he had done a trust fall into nothing, his view of the world becoming flipped as he fell backwards.

Into the wall itself.

“Wha–!”

Tsukasa didn’t have the time to exclaim anything, to call for help. His mind had gone silent with shock as he kept falling back. The arm not holding his phone reached out in front him, fingers splayed out in the hopes of grabbing something, anything.

But that something never came.

His mouth was open with a silent cry, his brain and vocal chords not in sync. His eyes were as wide as they could go, the epitome of fear and confusion written all over his face.

And just as if there was nothing there in the first place, Tsukasa fell into the wall, and the streets were empty once more. Having no one witness the supernatural event that had occurred.