Work Text:
It’s a dreary, mid-Spring day in Star City. The sky is full of clouds and it’s unseasonably cool with a light drizzle. Felicity is trying her best to get some work done in her office; a task made more difficult because of the flood of tears she’s trying to stop. “Yep. Coming to work was definitely a bad idea.” She wouldn’t have come but she had a couple of meetings in the afternoon that she had to attend and felt it was a good way to take her mind off of her crisis. She didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to even make it to the meetings. Her ability to focus was completely gone. She’d been there for an hour and a half and had barely logged on. She had a couple of hours until the meetings began and going home until then seemed like a good idea. “Sandra, can you come in here for a minute please”, she asked over the intercom.
Sandra, Felicity’s executive assistant, comes in with her tablet at the ready. “How may I help you, Mrs. Queen?”
Felicity takes a moment to gather herself; she doesn’t want to break down again, at least not yet. “Sandra, I’ve decided that I’m going to go home for a little bit before my meetings…”
“Oh, Mrs. Queen…”
“Felicity.”
“Right! Felicity, I went ahead and rescheduled your meetings 15 minutes ago and have your driver on standby at the front of the building. It’s just…I couldn’t help but see you crying when I looked in here and I figured that you’d rather be home than here so I took steps to make sure that was possible. This is a dumb question but is everything ok?”
“Just a little unexpected drama that I have to deal with”, Felicity responds with a teary smile. “But I’ll get through it and things will be back to normal around here.”
“I hope so. I’m not used to seeing you like this. Because of that, I shifted everything on your calendar by 2 days. That way, you can take tomorrow too if you need it.”
“Thank you, Sandra. I really appreciate you taking that initiative.”
Sandra smiles, “It’s no problem at all. I’m just doing my job. All you need to do is go home and get better and we’ll see you in a couple of days.”
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Oliver is sitting in the living room when Felicity comes in. He doesn’t even look up as she rounds the corner to the living room. “Hey.” The sound of her voice snaps him out of his reverie. He looks up at her and offers her a soft smile.
“Hey. I didn’t hear you come in. How are you?”
Felicity begins to rub her arm and looks down at the floor. “Not well; that’s why I came home.” Oliver gets up and crosses the room to where Felicity is standing and he embraces her. “I’m sorry that I left like that this morning”, she says while sobbing into his chest. “It was a bad idea…”
“Shhhhhhhhhh. It’s alright, I understand. You needed some time. I’m not upset with you at all; it’s not an easy diagnosis to deal with.” Oliver kisses the top of her head.
“Is ‘Apple’ upstairs taking her nap?”
“Yea. Why don’t you go look in on her while I fix us lunch?”
“Ok”, she says as she presses up on her toes and softly kisses his cheek. She heads upstairs while Oliver heads to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she quietly enters ‘Apple’s room. The walls are adorned with Disney princess stickers but Meridah is the most prominent. On the far wall, her full name is emblazoned on it; Apollonia Artemis Queen…’Apple’ for short. Felicity kneels next to the bed and gently moves Apple’s blonde hair out of her face. There, she sits for a few minutes just watching the rhythmic breathing of their daughter.
“You know, I never imagined that I’d be happier than I was the day your father and I got married. It was a dream, a dream I didn’t think would come true…for various reason like earthquake machines, psychotic former friends, assassins, mountain top duels, illegitimate kids and so on. But then two and a half years ago, you showed up…bringing with you pain that I’ve never felt before. Why I decided against an epidural I’ll never know but next time I’m getting it on the way to the hospital.”
“Anyway, we we’re so happy to finally meet you and you’ve brightened our world so much. I knew your father was a softie underneath but since you’ve been around, he’s as soft as cotton…though I doubt the criminals of Star City would agree. We love you so much and will do whatever we can to help you. You are not alone in this and you will never be. It’ll be just as tough for us as it is for you but we’ll lean on each other in the bad times. The psychologist said that many children diagnosed with Autism go on to lead very productive lives and that early diagnosis is the key. We just need to keep that in mind.” The sound of a throat clearing comes from the doorway. Felicity looks up and sees Oliver smiling at them. She offers him a teary smile back as she wipes her eyes. “As long as we’ve been together, you’d think I’d be used to your ninja skills by now. How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough. I came to tell you that lunch is ready.”
Felicity nods, kisses 'Apple' and goes to Oliver at the doorway. She wraps her arms around his midsection and rests her head on his chest. They both stand there looking at their daughter. “I’m sorry this happened, Oliver.” Oliver was about to protest but Felicity cuts him off. “All of the signs the psychologist pointed out, I’d noticed them but I didn’t think much of them. I thought it was just how it is sometimes. I should’ve done more. I could’ve had her looked at sooner. Thank God the pediatrician said something when he did. I feel like a horrible mother and wife. I’m so, so sorry!”
Oliver lifts her chin so that she’s looking at him. “You have nothing to apologize for, absolutely nothing. You are a fantastic wife and an even better mother. We’re both extremely lucky to have you in our lives.”
“Thank you for saying that but I still could’ve done more. I should’ve done more.”
“Felicity, remember when we first found out we were pregnant? You literally read every pregnancy book you could find. And don’t think that I don’t know that you were reading when we were out on patrol.”
“What? I’m good at multitasking.”
“Except you were so focused on what you were reading, you didn’t even realize you were reading out loud…over the comms. The point is that you’ve been all in since the beginning. You’re a genius but I don’t remember your field of expertise being health…no matter how many times you patch us up. So there’s nothing for you to be sorry about or apologize for. You are doing your best and your best is really, really good. Leave the blame game to the professionals.”
Felicity tilts her head in disbelief. “Oh come on Oliver, really? You blamed yourself? How could you have possibly taken the blame for this one?”
“Well, I was wondering if it was my bad karma that led to this”, he said sheepishly.
“That is absurd!”
“Shhhhhh, don’t wake her up. Anyway, I literally went to Hell and retrieved Sara’s soul so you’re going to tell me definitively that karma doesn’t exist?”
“I can’t definitively tell you that, no. But this is not your fault. I think we both need to remember that, as hard as it may be. We need to be there together for her.”
“I agree. When’d you get so smart?”
“I was born this way”, Felicity says with a grin. Just as they were leaning in for a kiss, 'Apple' turns over in the bed startling them both. “Oliver? Let’s go have lunch before we wake her up.”
“Good idea.”