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The Things I Do (to Myself)

Summary:

He popped another lollipop into his mouth, gazing at the nightly scenery. They would like Ginma District, Noah determined immediately. The high fashion was right up Kelly’s alley, and Cameron would enjoy the dinosaur skeletons in front of the art museums. He could practically hear their voices every now and then: when he was picking out his poncho, and when he gazed upon the historic artwork. For the little time they spent on that train, Noah truly missed them. More than he should.
_____

AKA. Noah survived this far not having to rely on anyone, so why does it bother him now?

Notes:

Fun fact, this was an idea I was cooking up for Tynoah week, but ended up reworking a bunch of times. This was for the freewrite prompt, but Ig it could've worked for angst too. The ship ended up being pushed aside anyways, kinda.

In canon, Scarlett would be the protag, but this ain't about her.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The streets of Kanai Ward were anything but empty. For a city that always rained, Noah half-expected the native inhabitants to have constructed tunnels or roofed passageways to counter the gloomy weather. Instead, he is forced to wear an overly styled rain poncho he bought from the next town over—the Ginma District was filled with rich snobs, but at least their art museum held some entertainment. His poncho was a dark teal, a silver line that went straight down the back, and his hood even matched his sleeves with their minor space deco. They offered to sell a matching hat, but Noah would rather avoid overloading his senses. Suffering with wet clothing on the first day was enough for his lifetime. 

 

This was his first official day in Kanai Ward; The first day he arrived, being the sole survivor of a train massacre, two dead, and the culprit detained by his very hands. Noah mourned the people he hardly knew. This was the first mission for the youngest of the group, and the older woman was a mission away from retiring. While he never had the pleasure of working with her before, the young man heard of her achievements. It would be hard not to. Detective Kelly was considered one of the most admired detectives in the organization, especially during her prime. Cameron, on the other hand, had been brimming with determination to make his mark. Noah remembered how his younger companion would fiddle with the gadgets he wore, some important to his forte, others for mere fun. 

 

He could still recall their conversation, the placement of their bodies. Kelly was by the drinks, Cameron on a stool next to the senior detective, and he on the chair across from them. In the few hours they were together, he knew Cameron was once a bubble boy who went against his mother's wishes and joined the WDO, and that Kelly was a divorced mother with a daughter around Noah's age. Taylor, the name was hard to forget. The senior detective loved to boast about the daughter who pursued fashion rather than following her mother's footsteps, with brags about attending every show. 

 

"She found her talent, and that will always be grander than following a passionless career." Noah doesn't understand why those words struck him more than they should, or why he remembered the phrase in the first place. 

 

It was guilt; he forced himself to believe.

 

To Noah, Cameron had the nicest death. Murdered in his sleep. Perhaps this is what you would consider mercy: to be killed an innocent child before the world had a chance to taint your soul. He would consider it enviable had it not been so tragic. It was a far nicer fate in comparison to what remained of Kelly. The smell of burnt skin had yet to flee from his mind, nor had the pained expression forever engraved on her face. She fought; Noah knew she did, as the pained assassin hardly disguised the bleeding wound while they battled. He wished he could thank her in person for allowing him a chance at life, but the peacekeepers sent him away before he could.

 

He popped another lollipop into his mouth, gazing at the nightly scenery. They would like Ginma District, Noah determined immediately. The high fashion was right up Kelly’s alley, and Cameron would enjoy the dinosaur skeletons in front of the art museums. He could practically hear their voices every now and then: when he was picking out his poncho, and when he gazed upon the historic artwork. For the little time they spent on that train, Noah truly missed them. More than he should. 

 

If only he were allowed to say one final goodbye. Perhaps that’s why Noah continued to grieve.

 

Or because they were also master detectives, A class of people who vowed to discard emotional arguments to pursue a logical conclusion. To fight mysteries, one truth at a time. You should never let your guard down; a master detective is never off duty. Anything could happen, so friendship isn’t expected. Noah was never bothered by it until now; all the blame went to the pair, who easily ignored the unspoken rule in favor of the forming bond, and he was the fool who paid the price for it. 

 

Yes, it was a hectic first day, but not in vain. The first master detective from the outside had finally arrived in Kanai Ward. Don certainly gave him a warm welcome by revealing the building that the nocturnal detective agency once occupied, abandoned with growing flora. Pleasantly calm, in the bittersweetness that felt oh-so familiar to him. They stayed there, in silence, taking in the cold air as night settled in. The neon lights somehow made the scene enchanting, and Noah supposed the rain helped with its charm. It would have lulled him to sleep had the forte-less detective not shaken his shoulder to reveal the current location.

 

A fucking Submarine.

 

Gifted by the “Big Man,” as Don referred to him. The one who controls the city in the tower that looms over the city. Noah does not envy whoever they may be.

 

The insides of the sub were messy. His newly dubbed leader explained he hadn’t expected Noah to appear this early and had made preparations beforehand. The master detective made no efforts to call out his bullshit; the threat of passing out hung over his head. That night, Noah crashed on the couch, too tired to leave for the supposedly more comfortable hotel. 

 

The following day, Don (as Noah refused to call this man a detective out of his own pettiness) refused to let him roam the city. He wanted to wait, and Noah supposed the arguments were logical enough. All it meant was more time for him to rest, which he quickly took advantage of. 

 

Heather was the first to arrive, and they exchanged simple pleasantries, having agreed to reveal their arrival stories when the next person talked in. Her company was welcomed when they ganged up on Don, and he supposed she was fun to banter with. Then came Cody, a boastful kid—Adult—who was quick to reveal his story. Much like Noah, he arrived via train, but from a different station. They were meant to import cargo, and he was snuck into one of the boxes, no blood or horror. Heather and Noah secretly shared looks of jealousy. Heather had explained how her ride had two stops, one to pick up the first three detectives and the second to pick up the last four. She pulled her letter out to reveal that they were meant to be the largest group to arrive at Kanai Ward. He didn’t miss the tremble in her hands; Noah understood it too well. His story was next. By the end, Cody wore a ghastly look; he almost feared the naive detective’s eyes would pop out of his head, and Heather... Heather had the softest eyes he had ever seen.

 

He wanted to hate it. Instead, he felt repulsed for even thinking bitterly of his companion. She understood him better than anyone else in this damn sub. To think negatively was unfair. 

 

The final master detective arrived later that day, a clumsy man who nearly tripped right into the river surrounding the submarine. Tyler, like Cody, wore a face of innocence. Unlike Cody, he was forced to escape the peacekeepers and play this game of cat and mouse until Don came to the rescue. Physically tired, the first thing the newcomer did was flop on the couch and sleep. Noah ignored how Tyler’s head fell into his lap. Don explained the drained state was a repercussion of his forte.

 

Of course, Tyler awoke just moments after Don left to retrieve one last member. A trainee by the name of Scarlett. After the Master Detectives (minus the trainee) were sent to sleep in a hotel, paid for by the nocturnal detective agency for however long they stay in the city. The Sun & Moon hotel provided free breakfast and incredibly comfy beds. Noah wished Don had dragged him to sleep here instead of leaving him on the couch. Sure, he’d be annoyed with his new boss, but all that would disappear once he felt the soft pillows. 

 

Today was his third official day in Kanai Ward. Noah confirmed to himself while he entered the cafe nearest to the art museum. The memories from the night before kept replaying in his head. The detectives that remained were given the mission to unlock Kanai Ward’s ultimate secret, which went against Don’s plea to stay on the down low. Of course, he wanted his new colleagues to stay in the submarine. He wasn’t successful, seeing as Noah was in Ginma District with a new poncho, a lollipop swirling in his mouth, and sitting comfortably in the corner of a cafe. 

 

Discard your emotions to reach a logical conclusion

 

He had a duty to fulfill, so spying is what he resorted to.

 

It started early in the morning, before the sun rose. Noah lay in bed, uniform on, as he prepared to use his forte. A skill he mastered during his training, something all master detectives manifest to be official members. Otherwise, you become a regular detective, much like the leader of the nocturnal detective agency. Shade aside, his forte was something he was almost born with. Astral projection, as some would call it. Spectral projection on paper. 

 

As a child, he would sleep and have glimpses of his body in this state, and for a time, it made him fear the idea of falling asleep. It wasn’t until his mother introduced him to the idea of being a master detective did Noah stopped believing this ability was a burden. He trained beforehand, wanting to prove he could control his ability before the potentially harsh training he would endure. It worked out in his favor, seeing as he no longer (technically) had a time limit for this state. Noah was able to wander all around Kanai Ward for as long as he wanted. 

 

A rather boring endeavor when it provided nothing important. By noon, he returned to his body, only to feel a second dip in his bed. Noah was sure no one else had access to his room. His eyes opened hesitantly and were met with the crazed brown hair that would rival his eldest sister's. He knew almost immediately who this intruder was.

 

“Tyler, what the hell?” If he shoved the master detective a little too harshly, it was completely deserved. 

 

The clumsy idiot glanced over with a sheepish expression. “You weren’t responding, so I asked for a spare key, Detect. Don gave up on finding us detectives cause the other two disappeared wayyy earlier!” He spoke as if it explained everything; not even the unimpressed look Noah wore wavered his smile. “I wanted you to be my partner for today!”

 

With no plans to continue his spy work, Noah allowed the chattering brunet to drag him around the city. Together, they bought the poncho and walked around the museum, which had been a crime scene a few weeks prior. While the shorter of the pair wished to learn the myth surrounding the murder, Tyler rushed them to the cafe to avoid having nightmares.

 

“I’ll have a hot chocolate with a small lemon cake. Can you add a few blueberries to the side, too!” Tyler’s voice rang from beside him, the overly enthusiastic tone only growing with the smiles and nods of the waitress. Oddly enough, Noah has yet to find it an annoyance, instead finding the warmth the voice brought comforting. A voice told him to stop being a fool; the world was as dangerous as the train, and there was no time for domestic pleasures.

 

“What about you, No-no?” The attention is now focused on him, and Tyler shared a comforting smile. Noah hated himself for indulging in a life outside of his work, and yet he still spoke.

 

“Black coffee, a few creamers on the side, and a fruit tart.”

 

When the woman left, Tyler turned to talk about mindless things, such as how the color of his poncho complemented the small hair accessory braided into his hair. Noah can’t help but reply that it came from his first friend.

 

It’s easy to talk to Tyler, Noah finds out as a week has passed since his initial arrival. Since then, the Trainee had been involved in another murder case, exposing the culprits who supposedly died before they could be punished. On the spot. It was a serial killer and their copycat. And yet, he can’t seem to care about the details as he sits across from Tyler in the very same cafe. Almost like a routine, the brains and brawns duo would walk around the districts to entertain themselves before their conversations would lead them back to the cafe.

 

When he told Heather how he looked forward to the meetings, she merely gave him a look. Noah knew what this meant. A foreign feeling that he wished to actively despise, only to long for it instead. Such a revolting feeling that returns his fear of sleep in hopes of being present. It goes against all he was taught, and yet the prospect of love has disguised itself as a velvety dessert. Too tempting. Too sweet.

 

“Hey, I always call you No-No. Why don’t you give me a nickname?” Tyler’s smile never left his face. If he were a little more delusional, Noah would say his partner’s smile seemed brighter when it’s just the two of them.

 

Noah thought for a moment. The idea of giving him a nickname had formed around the same time he begrudgingly accepted his own. Subconsciously, Noah referred to Tyler as Goldie, after sensing how similar the detective was to a golden retriever. He selfishly kept this to himself; perhaps in a few months or so, he would have the confidence by then. For now, he went for the simplest option. “Ty.”

 

Tyler hummed, lemon cake crumbs stuck to the side of his face. Noah offered a small laugh as he wiped it off with his napkin, and Tyler gave him a smaller smile in return. 

 

“Ty sounds cool! You could even call me Ty-Ty to keep with our theme!” 

 

Our theme. Noah nearly blushed at the idea of having something exclusive with him. “Yeah, I guess Ty-Ty works too,” he spoke with his regular monotone voice. Although his companion seemed to pick up something. 

 

“Aw, that’s like a confession coming from you,” Tyler joked instead, this time making the poker face Noah wore fall. “You sounded happy and everything!”

 

“S-shut up,” Noah resorted in an instant, face tinted as he avoided the very eyes that pulled him in. He would say something about them still being strangers, but such a relationship doesn’t constantly have sleepovers, nor do they know dark secrets vowed to stay between each other. It would be a lie to say they were mere strangers now. 

 

He listened as Tyler laughed, not loud enough to draw attention, but just enough for them both. The softness of this will fade to be a memory, but he’ll enjoy this moment. Enjoy the bliss of a rainy day in the cafe like it were any regular place instead of this hell of a city. 

 

The real storm was just starting.

Notes:

Realistically, they won't become official until after the in-canon events of the game, but they don't need a title to prove how much they care for each other.