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“Harkas.” Y’shtola turned from where she was sitting. She smiled, small and thoughtful. “I knew that was you. Is there something you need?”
Harkas paused. There wasn’t exactly something she needed, no. She couldn’t give the excuse that she had anything particular to ask Y’shtola, or any sudden revelations or discoveries. Everything was about as normal as it could get, considering the usual state of things.
Y’shtola normally spent time with Matoya, aiding her old master, but she was in Foundation today, to visit Alphinaud and the others. Harkas wanted to spring on that opportunity to spend some time with her. After all, they hadn’t had much of it lately, and Y’shtola had been gone for so long…
She shook her head, but Y’shtola just patted the spot on the bench next to her. “You can sit with me for a while, if you’d like to.”
“I would,” Harkas said quickly, before she could let herself refuse, and sat carefully down on the bench next to the other woman, staring out at the people bustling by in the streets. She’d never felt awkward with Y’shtola before, they were too close for that, but lately, with all the worries building up, it was becoming harder to say what she wanted to. She didn’t exactly know what that boundary was, between friendship and something much greater, and she didn’t want to accidentally step over it and plunge them both into something they were far from ready for and maybe, could never have.
“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Y’shtola said at last, smiling but barely looking at her.
“Of course I’m worried,” Harkas said, trying to keep the pain in her heart out of the tone of her voice. “I thought you were dead.” It wasn’t meant to be an accusation, but Y’shtola frowned and nodded, understanding.
“I’m all right,” she assured her. Y’shtola touched her hand first, or at least, Harkas tried to convince herself of that later, that she hadn’t been the one to grab the other woman’s fingers in hers without thinking. No one was ever supposed to know about the feelings that bubbled up deep in her chest when she was around the beautiful white-haired Miqo’te. Harkas was married, after all, and she had so many other obligations. They both did. They couldn’t possibly… ever…
“I’m sorry,” Y’shtola said after looking at her for a long moment, and with those unseeing eyes, it was almost as if Y’shtola could see right through her, into her very core. The Miqo’te pulled her hand away and set it on her lap instead. “Both for troubling you and for… not being the sort of person you wish I could be for you.”
“That’s not true,” Harkas said slowly, watching her friend. “You always have been that person. I just wish you would take better care of yourself. There are people who care about you, and we worry.” Their eyes met and Harkas flushed and looked away, though she knew Y’shtola couldn’t see the tinge of red on her cheeks.
“I am aware,” Y’shtola said, “Still, I do what must be done. As do all of us.” She smiled and stared off across the city street. “But I have missed you, Harkas. And I am not the only one who needs to be concerned about keeping themselves safe. In the meantime, if you feel so inclined, you’re welcome to seek me out whenever you like, though I know you have many responsibilities.”
“Y’shtola,” Harkas sighed. “I can always make time for you.” She resisted the urge to reach for her hand again, which had been so wonderfully warm to the touch, and instead just sat beside her in comfortable silence for a while longer.