Work Text:
Spencer is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. It's been only three months you're together and he is the sweetest guy you ever been with, always so attentive to everything you say, kind and a lover boy at heart.
You knew you already loved him dearly, this is why everything gets harder. There's this little thing you need to take out of the way, this “little” thing is sex. You two didn't have sex yet but you know it's only a matter of time for it to become a problem.
It's not like Spencer is pressuring you for it or anything, he doesn't even touch on the subject, but you know he's just expecting you to make the first move. Every time you guys are making a Doctor Who marathon that leads to a make out session things tend to get more heated, and every single time you had to come up with an excuse to stop it before it went too far, but you knew this can't go on like this forever.
If it weren't for your asexuality, you wouldn't be so afraid to lose someone you're attached to. It's been some weeks that you're planning on telling him but you always end up avoiding it, because honestly you have no idea what would be his reaction. But in your experience, they all leave in the end, and you can't even blame them, they're normal, they have their own needs that you can't meet up with. You just wanted this time to be different.
Right now you're on his apartment waiting for him, sitting in his couch with a book on your hands but you aren't really reading, just distracted by the turmoil of doubts on you or mind until you hear the door unlocking.
"Y/n?", his sweet voice calls out to you and you're met with the sight of a tired Spencer Reid after work.
"Hey there, I'm right here", you smile to him and he plops down on the couch, resting his head on your lap.
With a giggle you run your hand through his hair, wanting to comfort him.
"Difficult day?"
"You could say that, It was almost a twenty four hours investigation but we managed to catch the unsub in the end", he says, leaning to your touch.
"So you must be really exhausted, don't worry we can just relax now"
He looks up at you with that adorable happy smile that makes you melt.
"I really missed you"
"I missed you too", you reply and without saying anything else he leans up and gives you a kiss that you immediately reply.
The kiss starts slow and gentle just like most of the kisses you have together but then you feel something changing. The kiss gets a bit more desperate, Spencer holds on your waist tightly almost in a needy way.
This makes you start to freak out a little. Is this the moment? Is he tired of waiting? He wants to take things further right now?? You weren't prepared for it, you definitely don't want it and it starts to get so overwhelming to the point you just push Spencer away from you.
With his lips still parted he looks at you confused, the poor guy is starting to feel nervous with the look you have on your face right now, certain he messed up on something.
"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"
"No... no, you didn't do nothing, I'm sorry", you give him a smile to pretend everything is okay, but the smile just comes out awkwardly and Spencer gets even more confused.
"Hey... what's going on? You know you can tell me everything, right?", he says in a calm voice.
His tone and worried look helps you calm down a little, you take some deep breaths, it's the moment, you know you have to tell him now, so you hesitantly start.
"Spence... there's something I need to tell you"
The look on his face is the epitome of patience, he is waiting for whenever you get ready to start. You have thought on dozens of speeches to explain him this but your mind gets blank now, so you just say it as simplest as it can be.
"I'm asexual, Spence"
There it goes, you said it, it's no longer a secret. Now you just have to wait for his disappointed face so you can get over it already. But he doesn't look disappointed, a little bit confused at least, but there's no judgement in his face.
"Asexual?", he repeats, looking at you for confirmation.
"Yeah... asexual. It means that's I have no sexual attraction for anyone at all. In a short explanation... it means that I don't look at someone and think 'wow, I'd really like to have sex with them', this never happened with me at least. I can feel aesthetic attraction and even romantic one, but sexual? This never really hit me and I'm sure it never will"
Spencer's face softens at your explanation, the confusion making way to understanding. He stays quiet for longer than you would expect making you feel all that anxiety growing back again, but then he suddenly says.
"Well, you should have told me this before... there's around 1% of asexual people in the world, statistically it was difficult for me to guess on my own"
This unexpected answer makes you laugh, random statistics, that's such an Spencer answer.
"Wait what? Are you not mad?"
Spencer looks at you like you're crazy for even suggesting it.
"Mad? Why would I? I will never be mad with you for being who you are. What kind of boyfriend would I even be if I did?"
"A lot of people gets upset..."
"A lot of people are idiots"
"....Spence you need to fully understand it, in my case, I'm a strict asexual, which means I'll probably never want to have sex with you. I don't want you to think this will change and inevitably get disappointed with me", You explain calmly, if he wants to go for it he needs to understand the whole picture at least.
He just looks at you and with a small smile on his lips as he nods and say.
"That's okay, I don't care", now you're the one getting confused.
"How can you not care? This is a big part of an relationship. And right now... I thought you were really wanting to get things further"
Spencer leans closer and reassuringly holds your hand.
"Hey, you have to believe me, I really don't care. I honestly thought that's something you wanted... I've never been so down for sex myself, I'd want to try but only if you did too. But if you don't want this, it's okay I won't miss it, honestly we just gain more time on doing things we truly like together, that's what really matters to me"
This makes your eyes full with tears. How is this man so perfect?
"I love you Spence"
You feel this is the right time to say it, and as he wipes your tears you know you're right.
"I love you too, and also your asexuality, I just love all of you"
He envelops you in a tight embrace and you fall for the comfort of it, being in the arms of the man you love having no pressure to do something you would never be comfortable with just feels right. You feel right, and not broken somehow, for the first time feeling like your asexuality isn't the problem.