Chapter Text
You woke up to rain water hitting your face. The rich scents of damp earth and sea water flooded your nostrils as you surveyed the surroundings. You were under your favorite willow tree on that low cliff that overlooked the ocean, you always came out there to meditate because it relaxed you. The funny thing was you didn't remember walking all the way out here.
How did I get here?
You try to stand but stumble as the ground seems to move beneath your feet.
"Am I drunk? What possessed me to get drunk by myself all the way put here?" You think to yourself. "I need to get back Ben and Tlaar are probably worried sick."
As you make your way back to the temple, the once delicate raindrops that had been speckling the earth began to get heavier and heavier until you were walking in an all out down pour. Awesome. Wow.
With the temple in view you began jogging to your destination.
Just as you make it to the steps of the temple there was a low hum. Your ears perked up to the unfamiliar noise, then there was an explosion. In a flash you were airborne and the unfamiliar sense of weightlessness took you. You hit the ground hard in a series of rough tumbles.
You regained your composer, vision blurry and ears ringing. I'll be lucky if that didn't give me a concussion. You say as you struggle to your feet, vision blurry and ears ringing. Oh no, it definitely gave me a concussion. As your vision, clears you see it-- smoke billowing out of the temple.
"WE'RE BEING ATTACKED!" Someone yells, their voice competing with the ringing in your ears. They aren't far away from you but their voices sound distant and hollow.
Others start flooding out of the temple, with their lightsabers drawn. In an instant you push aside your disorientation and focus on finding the most important people in your life. Tlaar, your best friend and roommate, and Ben the love of your life.
"BEN! TLAAR! HAS ANYONE SEEN THEM?!?" You shout, but your voice is drowned out by the fighting and thunder.
You push past others, running into the burning temple to find them. Checking door after door, the panic began to build in your throat that you might never see either one alive again. You check Ben's room first but no one's in there. Your eyes begin to tear up from the smoke and your breathing becomes labored. It doesn't feel real, the panic takes your legs as you begin sprinting down the hall, only to crash into Tlaar.
"TLAAR?!"
"(Y/N)! Thank the stars you're alright!" She grabs you grab onto her and pull her into a desperate hug. Her usually unwavering demeanor was all but gone soot covering her scaly skin and her robes slightly singed.
"Have you seen Ben? Do you have any idea what's going on?!" You ask frantically.
"No and no, but we don't have time for this!" She says as she takes your arm by the elbow leading you out of the burning temple. "It seems like we have 8 attackers. Seven wield modified weapons axes, scythes, blasters, etc., but one wields a lightsaber!" Too much is going on to even register the information, but your mind immediately begins racing. "The Sith. It has to be. But how--why?" With no time to think and too much at stake you immediately fall into step with Tlaar.
"We'll have time to discuss that when we evacuate. I'm going out there to help fend them off, get the younglings to the transport ship immediately." Even though you were both Jedi Knights, you knew Tlaar was more than ready to be a Master. Even in extreme high pressure situations, she always had a plan and over the 18 years you'd known each other... you were always part of that plan.
"But Tlaar--," you start before she cuts you off, "if I find Ben, I'll give him the same instructions, go!" You shake hands at the elbow, a custom you picked up from her years ago and part ways. "See you in a few."
As you run towards the youngling barracks your body begins shivering uncontrollably. Whether it's because of the cold rain or the shock you don't know, nor do you care. There were so many uncertainties, so many thoughts rushing through your mind, why was this happening, what was happening? Where the hell is he? The image of Ben's empty burning room flashes through your mind. Please be okay please be ok, please be o--
You reach the younglings dwellings, your chest was on fire and you struggled to catch your breath and clear your mind. It looked untouched, almost serene as if the children were all sound asleep peacefully on the other side of the wall. But you weren't fooled; all you sensed was death behind the door. Upon opening the door, your greatest fears were realized. It was a massacre. In front of you were the bodies of the younglings slashed by a lightsaber.
No.
You searched through the bodies desperate to find one, just one that wasn't dead, one you could rescue. Just a few hours ago you had taught their sparing class. Ginitus was a gentle Twi'lek soul, he didn't deserve a death so horrendous. Lilica had the potential to be one of the fiercest Jedi to have lived, but she would never have the chance. But there was one youngling she couldn't bare to see dead. Reyna. She was a natural with a saber-staff, and you had promised to make her your Padawan when you became a Jedi Master. It was a promise that you so badly wanted to keep.
"Miss (Y/N)?" you heard a muffled voice whisper.
"Reyna?" You whirl around trying to find the source of the voice. You hear the twisting of a lock, as a small body emerges from behind a door.
"REYNA!" You exclaim, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Miss (Y/N)! I was so scared I went to the bathroom, but then I heard screams and the sound of a lightsaber. I wanted to help but I knew it would be unwise to—"
You envelop her in your arms. "It's okay it's okay I'm gonna get you out of here okay. Trust me. We're going to find the others and Master Luke. Just close your eyes and don't open them until I say so. Do you understand?"
The young girl nods her head in agreement, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Alright climb on my back." You carry her trembling body as you step over the bodies of the fallen younglings. Your mind was racing with emotions you can't quite place, fear, worry, confusion, and beneath it all fury. There's absolutely nothing worse than everything going wrong and not knowing why.
The two of you take off toward the transport bay, expecting to see your comrades awaiting you, but all that greets you is a sight worse than your worst thoughts could generate.
The charred remains of what used to be the transport bay were were litter with the bodies of your fallen comrades. You stand there frozen in shock until movement catches your eye."Tlaar?"
Her body is propped up against rubble, her face ashen, a nasty blaster wound in her abdomen. You fall to your knees by her side in disbelief.
"(Y/N)." She responds quietly, "one of the bastards got a lucky shot," she mumbles coughing up blood. It's obvious just breathing is taking up an immense amount of the little energy she has left. "(Y/N) I have some bad news..."
"Tlaar don't talk like that, you're talking as if you're going to die and I can't have that." You croak choking back the lump in your throat.
She shakes her head, reaching out her hand to take your elbow. You take hers in return. "I don't have time...the lightsaber wielding attacker... It's Ben. He's coming for you." A chill ran down your spine and the world seemed to lose color. "No, Tlaar. It's a trick, he wouldn't. It's Ben!"
"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Goodbye my friend, live." With the last of her energy, her grip on your elbow tightens as she drags her nails down your forearm.
You pull back reflexively with a hiss, "OWW Tlaar what the —"
Tlaar's body starts convulsing and shifting, changing into something you recognize all too well...yourself.
You stare down at your/Tlaar's lifeless body completely dumbfounded, refusing to believe that your closest friend kept was no longer with you anymore. You wanted to scream, sob, fight, but you didn't have time to feel. For some reason, the man you thought was th love of your life destroyed your home, killed your students, and wants you dead.
The tears that were welling up in your eyes began to flow freely. You couldn't stop them, tried but it only got worse, more intense. You would've stayed by her side longer if Master Luke's voice hadn't spoke in your mind: "(Y/N) make your way to the cliffside immediately; quickly there isn't much time."
A tiny hand rests on your shoulder and you shrug it off and spin around, "I told you to keep your eyes closed," you snap at Reyna curtly, but soften when you see her face. "We have to find Master Luke come with me." You take her hand and lead her towards your only shot out of here.
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"Master Luke it was Ben! I can't believe he would do this but it was him," you choke out between sobs. "I don't understand, I thought he loved us? I thought he loved me? He wants me dea--".
"I know (Y/N), I know," he comforted you, pulling you into a much needed embrace, "Ben has always been troubled. When he met you I had all but forgotten until—It was my fault for blinding myself to the signs. I should've known... it's all my fault."
I gave Ben my heart, my soul, I would've followed him to the end of the galaxy, and this is how he repaid me? If I had paid closer attention, I could've talked him out of it. Tlaar would still be alive, my students would still be here....
A quiet voice interrupted your thoughts.
"He wasn't alone though, there were others. I could hear their voices outside the cabin, seven I think," Reyna spoke staring down into her lap, her tear stained face caked with soot. The buns you had styled her hair in that morning had all but fallen out. You couldn't imagine what she was going through having witnessed the deaths of all her friends first hand.
You wipe the tears from your face and try to steel yourself for her sake, "Reyna go get washed up there's a bathroom down the hall." You stand her up and gesture towards the hall.
"Master Luke what do we do now? Everything is gone, we have no where to go." You say in a whisper careful to not let Reyna overhear you.
"We will do what my Master Obi-Wan did."
"And that was..." You say prodding him on.
"We're going to the outer rim, there Reyna will be looked after by a friend of mine," he states plainly pointedly avoiding eye contact with you.
"A friend of yours? Master, why don't I look after her, she's only a youngling she can't be on her own." You plead with him, but he dismisses you outright.
"No. I'm putting you on a different planet, far away from her. Your force energies combined would be a beacon if he were to come looking for you!"
"Then what about me, huh? Are you going to drop me off at a castle, gift wrap me, and present me to a barren Queen so that she can raise me as her child? Or does that only happen in the history books Master?"
"Mind your temper Padawan. We have all no doubt been through a traumatic ordeal tonight, but it does not excuse your behavior." Luke snaps at you.
You grit your teeth at his use of Padawan, he knew full and well that you had worked hard to earn the title of Knight, but at the end of the day you were once his Padawan always his Padawan.
"Master Luke, I have earned the title of Knight, and I have been through too much today to put up with the conceding nature of your tone, so if you could please reason with me like a Knight instead of talking down to me like a youngling it would be greatly appreciated."
He nods in acknowledgement. "Thank you. Block the memories of today in Reyna's mind. She's so young and has witnessed so much, the events of today will torment her. If she must be on her own it's the least you could do."
"Very well." He complies and you breathe a halfhearted sigh of relief.
"Before you agree to this on her behalf, understand that because she came to us so young... all of her memories are of the Jedi Temple. If you want her to be free of the memories of tonight. I will have to completely wipe her memory. Do you understand that?" Master Luke looks you in the eye with a raised eyebrow challenging you.
The thought of Reyna having no memory of her life at the Jedi Temple saddened you, but the thought of her being tormented and alone with memories of tonight was unbearable. You hold eye contact with Luke, "I do... as for me... take every memory of the Jedi Temple, from the day I arrived to the massacre. If you have to wipe me clean as well do it."
"Are you sure?" He questioned you, "I know you and Ben were quite close, but blocking your memories again could have unforeseen-"
"Take everything. If you truly want Reyna safe I can't remember any of it. Just let me start over from scratch."
Master Luke sighs, "I know that once you have your heart set on something it's impossible to change your mind, but this is a big commitment. This is not a temporary fix, you may never recover these memories again. So I'll ask you again... are you sure?
A single tear rolled down your cheek. Your heart ached in your chest at the thought of throwing away the memories of Tlaar, who used her last dying breath to save you, and ... Ben. All 18 years of it couldn't have been fake. He loved you, you knew in every fiber of your being this was true. But then... why would he do this to you? You look down at your bandaged forearm. Tlaar's last words to you echoed through your mind. Goodbye my friend, live. You pushed those thoughts of Ben aside and settled on, you. In order to live, you had to forget him.
"Yes, I am sure." You stated with a firm nod. It wasn't until Luke started the procedure that his first statement registered. "Wait, did you say again?"
That was the last thing you remembered before darkness.