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Loving him had become one of your habits.
One out of many, yet it persisted within you through time and space, holding a significant amount of weight in your heart. Hiding, waiting for time when you would let your guard down so it could take over all the reasons you held against loving him.
But child, your life was destined to fly alone.
Like an unknown plane roaming around the universe, your beloved world is an insignificant unsolved problem no one ever felt interested enough to solve, yet you, dear, did you think becoming a hero of this unheard world would changed this fact?
Did you think choosing the world over him would make anything more different?
"Come with me, Mydeimos, to the new world," you once said, in one of the attempt to save this world.
The man facing you were unmistakably the crown prince of Kremnos, the sone of Gorgo, Mydeimos. Both his wrists and legs shown signs of being constraint for a long time; in fact, there was a shackle dangling from his right wrist. His face shown no emotion despite golden blood dripping down his torso, painting him like he was the finest sculpture.
(Ironically, didn't you also treated him like one fragile thing?)
Without getting any answer from him, you sighed deeply, eyes full of regret.
He had his own judgement and you had yours, so no matter how hard he tried to leave, to help you shouldered the burden, you always be there to stop him. To chain him up so he would never leave your side unlike all the failed attempts in the past.
But hadn't you learnt already?
Your destiny was one with destruction.
You shed no tears and you said no words. Even after you witnessed the fall of the undefeated demigod, your dearest Mydeimos, the only thing you did was cradle his lifeless body close to yours, stroking his golden hair gently like you used to do. His eyes were wide open, and you didn't try to make them close.
Perhaps you wish to see it for even a second longer, even if they had already lost its light.
It was bound to be a fail attempt. Without him by your side, what could possibly be the last light in your dim life? I learnt about this fact within your third attempts. You, however, had never tried to understand it.
Or perhaps all was a facade. A masquerade you led to fool anyone but yourself.
In one attempt you married him, adopted an ugly little thing called 'chimera' together, then watched him died in front of you like the round before. Another attempt you sent him to marry someone else, not knowing that he would take that chance to flee and enter the battlefield himself so you had to once again witnessed his death with your own eyes.
How dreadful it was to had him within your armlength one second, and the next he was eternally separated from you.
Did the tears taste bitter when you could only store it within your soul? Would you rather let it all go instead of keep fighting for the future where your love ones could never be in?
Were you tired, child?
As I stared into your frantic eyes, I have come to realize.
The child I once saw many billions attempts ago was gone. What was left in your body was hatred, was regrets, was the black sea of sadness you dread to see even in your wildest dream.
And below them all, was the hollowness of losing your loved ones over and over again.
I never wish to tear your wings apart, as I keen to see you soar across the universe, embarking on the journey far beyond your comprehension. Yet you bared your teeth, cut out the beautiful wings, and released all your pitless sorrow onto me.
Would you, too, become a perfect destruction like me? I thought as your fragile body fell from the sky like a shooting star, granting wishes to people in this ungrateful corrupted world.
"It's a date, Mydeimos," you whispered. The name rolled out of your mouth like it was a sacred word, a hymn praising the gods of this world.
Loving him had become your habit.
Losing him, though, was a lesson that you still need to learn.