Chapter Text
June 2025
Hello there, stranger. Or maybe not so much of a stranger by the time you finish reading this mess I call my life.
My name is Alex, I'm 22, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. But hey, at least I'm honest about it, right?
So, why am I writing this? Good question. I wish I had a deep, philosophical answer for you, but the truth is much simpler and probably more embarrassing. Last week, I was sitting in my tiny flat in Bath, surrounded by the most chaotic group of people you could ever imagine, and I realized something: we all have the most ridiculous love stories. And I mean ”ridiculous”. Like, if someone pitched these as movie plots, they'd get laughed out of Hollywood.
There's my girlfriend Lexi, who once threw hot coffee on my favorite Marvel shirt because she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend. Spoiler alert: I wasn't. The guy was discussing and honestly? Just no.
Then there's my best friend Anna – well, Nastiq if you want to get her name right, which most people don't – who's fake-dated her CEO because said CEO's wife cheated with her own brother-in-law. Yes, you read that correctly. It's as messy as it sounds.
And don't even get me started on my sister Anastasia. She married a complete stranger at a military event for citizenship reasons, got pregnant two weeks later with a donor baby (long story), and now they're the most disgustingly happy couple you've ever seen. Oh, and they have two kids and forgot they were supposed to get divorced five years ago.
My other sister Daniela? She turned her high school boyfriend from zero to hero as part of a bet, then accidentally fell in love with him. They're still together, still arguing about everything, and somehow it works.
And then there's Sophie and Val – Sophie's our family lawyer and Val is... well, Valérie is 44, powerful as hell, and was supposedly sleeping with half her staff before Sophie came along. Now they're raising a five-year-old together and running the most successful law firm in the city.
I know what you're thinking: "Alex, this sounds like a soap opera written by someone on too much caffeine." And you know what? You're absolutely right. But it's my soap opera, and these are my people, and somehow all of our crazy love stories are tangled together like the world's most complicated Christmas lights. And yes - i did had too much coffee. But who cared, am I right?
The thing is, none of them wanted to write their own stories. Anastasia said she was "too busy keeping humans alive," Anna claimed she was "too cool for feelings" (she's not), Daniela insisted hers was "too boring" (it's absolutely not), and Sophie just laughed and said I was the writer in the family anyway.
So here I am, your designated storyteller, ready to spill all the tea about how nine women and one men managed to find love in the most ridiculous ways possible. Fair warning: there will be fake relationships, accidental pregnancies, military drama, corporate scandals, coffee-related injuries, and so much secondhand embarrassment you might need to put the book down occasionally to recover.
But there will also be real love. The kind that sneaks up on you when you're busy pretending it doesn't exist. The kind that makes you do stupid, wonderful things like marry strangers or help your “enemie” start an OnlyFans account or fake-date your boss.
I'm writing this in 2025, looking back at all the chaos that brought us here, and honestly? I wouldn't change a single ridiculous moment.
Well, maybe I'd change the coffee incident. That shirt was limited edition.
So, are you ready for this? Because I'm about to tell you how a group of disasters found their happily ever afters, starting with the most recent disaster of all – how I fell in love with the girl who ruined my favorite shirt.
Trust me, it gets weirder from here.
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P.S. – If any of my family is reading this: surprise! You're all getting copies for Christmas. Don't say I never give you anything nice.
P.P.S. – Lexi, if you're reading this, yes, I'm still bitter about the shirt. But I love you anyway.
P.P.P.S. – Anna, stop rolling your eyes. I can feel it from here.