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Sirius would always secretly take a sniff and inhale on the white, crushed powders. He would open the left wooden cupboard at midnight as his boyfriend, Remus Lupin is in deep slumber, his right leg hanging from the bed. Remus never really thought about Sirius' weird behavior, maybe it's just the way he is and that it's his natural self.
But no, it's not that. It's never that. Sirius would walk back to the bedroom, his whole body beyond trembling from the effects of the drugs. He looks at Remus, repeating the word “sorry” under his breath, quietly. Tears stream down Sirius' face, even if he felt euphoric and felt a sense of freedom. He still felt bad for himself and Remus, as if Remus would find out.
He wouldn't, would he?
Saturday, 4th April 1976
2:12 AM
Remus realizes and sees Sirius' weird act, it's like he has been... drugged. Then, one night he tries to sleep and relaxes his whole body, not until Sirius gets up from the bed and starts holding the door knob, opening it. He leaves, Remus opens one of his eyes before sitting up.
“Pads?” Remus gulped, removing the blanket from his torso before quietly walking on the wooden bedroom floor. Sirius opened the same old left cupboard above the stove in the kitchen, taking the same small plastic packets with red zips on it, full of white, powerful powder that can turn one normal person... hurt.
Remus takes a peek from the doorway, his eyes widening and heart dropped. He couldn't believe his eyes. Sirius was doing drugs.
He doesn't know what compelled him to do so but Remus called out, his voice quivering.
“Padfoot... this is-” Remus got cut off by his beloved Padfoot's shocked voice, turning his head to Remus in a hurry.
“Moons! I- I... this isn't what it..”
“Looks like? Yeah, right.”
“Moony, you weren't supposed to see.”
Remus couldn't bring himself to believe what he was hearing and seeing.
“Weren't supposed to see?! Padfoot, you're doing drugs without me knowing!”
Sirius was disappointed in himself and speechless, sighing heavily and puts his left hand on the marble table. “I'm... sorry. I'm sorry.” Tears welled in his eyes, his knuckles rubbing his eyes to stop it from trickling down his face. “When have you been doing this? Tell me.” “Since... months ago. Since that night, when you were out with James to go to a bar, I was alone at home and was curious.” Sirius mumbled, nose blocked.
Remus wondered how many toxins there were in his body now. Probably hundreds, thousands, millions even. No, that wasn't possible, he thinks. Remus walks to Sirius, hugging him in worry and disbelief. Sirius then breaks down on the crook of Moony's shoulder. His beloved Moony saw him cry for the first time in a long time.
“Oh, Padfoot...” Remus was wretched, seeing his boyfriend in shambles. He felt emphatic, he wasn't going to shout at Sirius, of course not. Every human has done wrong things and Sirius Black is one of them, he thought to himself.
“I'm sorry, Moons... I'm sorry, I'm sorry... please don't leave me! I know this is wrong!” Sirius sobbed, choking on his tears. Remus hugged him tighter, rubbing circles on his back.
He will try to help Sirius get clean, he persists on it. He can't see his dear Padfoot die in silence like this.