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It took a while for Rawlins to realize that the tight feeling he got in his chest when John Grady paid any attention to Blevins was jealousy.
Blevins, with his big beautiful bay horse that John Grady couldn’t take his eyes off of, with his easy confidence that no thirteen year old should have, with his honesty and willingness to follow through with anything he says. Blevins, who shot his thirty-two twenty Colt right through Betty Ward’s forehead in Rawlins pocketbook. Rawlin can barely say an honest word on a good day, too caught up with trying to act normal around John Grady, keeping his eyes away when they should be, shutting his mouth when he ought to. He’ll follow John Grady to the ends of the Earth and John Grady knows it, but he keeps the photo of Betty Ward that she gave him just in case. Just in case.
Rawlins finally breathes a sigh of relief when John Grady decides to ditch Blevins to his fate with the Mexicans. He was hurt that John Grady didn’t take the chance earlier, when Rawlins told him about the bad feeling he got about all this horse stealing shit. But that’s how John Grady is; he is good at heart and that’s all there is to it.
But now there’s the girl, and Rawlin feels all the old jealousy rearing up again. What a load of nothing the months alone with John Grady did for him. He can’t help but try to dissuade John Grady’s interest, knowing it’ll come to nothing.
This one of course she probably dates guys got their own airplanes let alone cars, he says.
You’re probably right, John Grady responds. It don’t help nothin’ though, does it?
And it really doesn’t. When they lay in the darkness later, Rawlins asks for her name.
The voice John Grady murmurs back with is soft and full of adoration.
Rawlins pretends it’s for him, and in the next breath, sleep drags him under.