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Usually, Merascylla wasn’t the one having to worry about pain, since normally she was the one inflicting it on others. Yes, she did bully other students and no, she didn’t feel bad about it.
Though she didn’t do it as often as she used to anymore because it pissed of her girlfriend.
Deldrey wasn’t what you’d call an angel herself but comparably righteous nonetheless. Being a victim of bullying herself of course she wouldn’t want to see her do it to anyone else.
When she thought back to how they started dating she really couldn’t help but let out a laugh - she stopped right away because that hurt though.
Deldrey used to be one of her favorite victims. She was popular with the boys, a total flirt and that got on her nerves. So inevitably she started to talk shit about her behind her back, just close enough to be sure she heard what she was saying. That’d make her feel bad. Deldrey, at first, tried her best to ignore her, but of course, given her personality she would confront Merascylla about that soon enough.
Merascylla didn’t leave it at that though. While still continuing the shit-talking she started the real bullying. Of course the typical writing of stuff like “Bitch”, “Whore” or “Unfaithful witch” on table, locker and even her gym clothes were part of that too. And every time she did something Deldrey would come to her to confront her about it, sometimes it even ended up in a fist-fight. But she wouldn’t stop.
She always got happy when she came to her, at first only because it meant she was able to piss her off and she savored that moment like nothing else. But it soon grew into a kind of longing. She got happy to see her, just because she was able to see her, because she got her undivided attention. It pained her to see her flirt with other boys and especially that Arden guy’s presence bothered her because of how obvious it was that they were close.
Soon the only reason she continued the bullying was to keep her from the boys, to have her close to her, no matter how. She didn’t know any better and hid all of her feelings behind and evil grin when Deldrey came to pick a fight.
To think she’d ever forgive her… No, she never did… She just accepted it. She also saw past it and realized Merascylla needed someone like her. And also realized that she wanted to be that person, to be the one who changed Merascylla into something better.
Merascylla knew she didn’t agree on dating her because she loved her, she wouldn’t be able to after all the things she did to her.
There was a cracking sound over her head. Was this it?
She kept her eyes closed, holding on to the memory of her girlfriend.
She felt fire creeping up her arm but she didn’t mind, she wasn’t able to move anyway. Just a bit more pain and the world would become a better place, Deldrey would be free as well.
A part of the ceiling came down right beside her. It was a shame it didn’t hit her to end it all but that must be the price she had to pay for all the pain she caused others. Fate wouldn’t let her go that easily.
It got hard to breathe. Would she run out of air first or burn to death? Both didn’t seem very appealing.
A strand of her hair caught on fire and in a matter of seconds she was sure almost all of her hair was gone, her face and head were so hot, she just wished everything would stop. She caught herself wishing she never bullied anyone. But that also meant never dating Deldrey and she didn’t want that.
It got harder and harder to hold up the image in her head, she felt fuzzy.
She heard rumbling, this would be the end. She just wished she could have seen her one last time to apologize. With that her mind faded into nothingness…
She awoke to nothing but pain. Moving seemed impossible, it felt like any movement would kill her.
“Mera!!”
A sobbing green-haired girl was sitting beside her bed in the hospital when she forced herself to open her eyes.
“Del…drey…”
It hurt. Her mouth felt dry and she wasn’t sure if she was able to pronounce her girlfriend’s name right.
Deldrey’s eyes were red and swollen and tears were running down her face merging with her snot along the road. Merascylla ignored the pain and took a deep breath.
“W… hat a stupid fa…ce. Idi…ot”
The truth was, even in this state she couldn’t think of anything else but how beautiful she was.
If only she’d stop crying. She wasn’t supposed to care for her enough to cry over her.
But Deldrey couldn’t even bring herself to get angry at that comment, she just kept wailing, burying her face into her hands…
“I… I was so worried… What if… you never woke up again? Y…you were hurt so bad!”, she stopped for air and to swipe some snot from her face which made it only look worse.
“I… I went to your house to surprise you and… and then I… saw the flames… the… firefighters were running a…round like crazy... I saw… saw parts of… your house collapsing… I was so… so worried… Mera, I’m so glad you’re alive!”
A shiver went through Merascylla’s spine. For just a moment she didn’t care if it killed her, she sat up and swung her arms around the crying girl’s body. If this was how she died so be it.
“I l…ove you!”, she cried out - partly because of the pain, partly because she had to get that off her chest as long as she was able to.
Her body ached and pleaded for rest, instead her back felt as if it were burning again through the bandages when Deldrey hugged her back. Slowly, softly, in order not to hurt her - that didn’t work well. Even though her mouth rested right beneath Merascylla’s right ear she almost didn’t hear it.
“I love you too…!”
Relief made her fall back into the hospital bed and hot tears that burned up her face left the corners of her eyes.
She was so stupid. She put her arms over her face in order to hide her tears.
So, so stupid. Deldrey loved her and there she was thinking about her being “free” when she died. Thinking she deserved to die. Thinking Deldrey didn’t care for her.
For the first time she felt really alive. It didn’t matter that her body was half-dead, no matter the pain, she felt alive and she was happy to be alive.
“Th…ank you”, she whispered.
Just in case, she thought to herself before drifting into a light sleep again, I’ll stop the bullying. I’ll change, I promise.