Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The smooth stone floor beneath you was ice cold. You lay in a heap in the corner of your cell, shivering as you tried to get some sleep. The dungeon of the card castle, as you had recently come to learn, was not a very comfortable place.

Far off down the hall you could hear footsteps approaching. Without looking you knew it must be Rouxls Kaard, the King’s Duke of Puzzles. Every night since you had been brought to the dungeon you had watched as he passed by your cell. The first few nights he barely glanced at you as he passed, but eventually he began acknowledging you with a gentle nod of his head. Having little else to look forwards too, you had come to anticipate Rouxls’ nightly strolls past. Being a prisoner, your contact with others was exceptionally limited, and, pathetic as it was, a small nod from another person was the most fulfilling thing you could currently obtain.

Over the past few weeks in fact, a sort of longing had begun to bloom inside of you. It was silly. You had never even spoken to Rouxls, only having heard his voice a few times when he had spoken to the guards down the hallway from you. And yet the feeling persisted. It was an aching for contact, both physical and emotional.

Although you had only been imprisoned for a few weeks, it felt much, much longer.

Isolation does funny things to the mind. A person’s thoughts begin to twist and warp as the primal desire for socialization eats away at them. You needed to be socialized. You wanted to be spoken to gently. You wanted to be touched. The only other person in your life currently was the enigmatic man outside of your cell door. And today, you had decided, was the day you were finally going to speak to him.

As he neared your cell, you opened your mouth.

“Excuse me...?” Your voice was small and hoarse, as you hadn’t exactly needed to use it much lately.

The Duke jumped slightly, clearly startled by your voice, and turned to face you. His expression seemed curious, which seemed like a good sign to you, since at least he didn’t seem annoyed with your speaking to him. After pausing a moment to collect himself, he spoke.

“Ah. So the little louse finally speaketh.” He chuckled under his breath, pushing a few strands of silvery hair out of his face. “Though art lucky I’m not in the mood to reporteth you to the King. He doest not liketh his prisoners to speak unless they are spoken too.”

You would have to tread carefully if you wanted him to keep talking to you. But you almost didn’t care as you rode the high of Rouxls speaking to you at all.

“I…I meant no offense, um, sir. Y-you have to understand, it’s just been such a long time since anyone has spoken to me and, well, I’m worried I may lose my voice completely if I’m not able to use it.” Now you were just saying nonsense. You had never been very apt when it came to social skills, but especially now, you had just about thrown everything you knew about polite conversation out the window.

From his expression you surmised that Rouxls seemed surprised at your response, though not angry or upset.

“I supposeth that is understandable. One’s voice must be caredst for as well as any parte of the body.”

“Thank you for being so, um, understanding, sir”, you responded.

“The proper term wouldst be, your grace”, Rouxls chided. “As I amst Duke of Puzzles, thou should address me in sucheth a manner.”

“Oh! Well, then, thank you for being so understanding, your grace”, you voiced with a bashful smile.” What a strange conversation this was.

Rouxls started to walk away, and panic began to set in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t take being alone any longer. You didn’t think you would survive.

“Y-your grace! I have a small request before you leave.”

You had been as kind and respectful as you could be. You hoped with all your might that he would hear you out, watching as he tilted his head to the side slightly, a puzzled look painted across his face.

“…Alrighte.”

You took a deep breath. “I know this might seem like a strange request but, could you hold my hand for a moment? And I swear, I swear this is not some kind of trick or, or some method of escaping. I promise you.”

“You wanteth me to holde your hand?” He cautiously approached you. “Thou werest not lying when thou said this was an odd requeste.”

This was the time to suck up, if any. You glanced down at your feet coquettishly and quietly breathed a “please”.

Wether it was out of pity or intrigue, or god forbid, attraction, Rouxls agreed, nodding his head sharply to signal his approval of your strange request. He reached out a gloved hand as you brought yours up to meet it.

And then…contact.

His hand was slender and smooth and the best thing you had ever felt.

You had an idea then. It was probably a bad idea but you decided to go for it. You gingerly brought Rouxls’ hand up to your face, resting it on your cheek and leaning in to it. This, right this moment, was the most contact you had had with another being in weeks. And it felt like heaven.

Finally glancing up at Rouxls, you saw his expression had softened greatly. His confusion had been replaced with something that you couldn’t quite read. He looked peaceful and at ease. He made no attempt to remove his hand.

The two of you stayed like that in silence for several blissful minutes. At a certain point you shut your eyes and just soaked in as much of his touch as you could.

You opened your eyes again as the Duke pulled his hand away slowly, and you instantly began to miss the sweet sensation of contact.

“I willst be back tomorrow, little moth.”

***

Over the next few days it became an almost sacred ritual between the two of you. Each night Rouxls would take a walk through the dungeon as usual, but once he got to your cell he would stop and talk with you. And as you soon discovered, he loved to talk.

Most often he talked about his duties as royal puzzle maker or his shop upstairs and the darkners who visited it. The pesky little prince Lancer was another common topic of the Duke’s ramblings. You learned that his father, the Spade King, seemed to be somewhat neglectful of his son, and that it was often up to Rouxls to care for the child. You weren’t sure if you were any good with kids, but you decided you would like to meet him properly one day anyway.

Once it had been just long enough for you to have a good conversation but not so long as to seem suspicious, Rouxls would take your hands in his before walking away into the darkness, leaving you alone once more.

One cold night while lying in your normal sleeping spot in the corner of the cell you heard him whisper to you.

“Dear princess?” Your heart almost skipped a beat as you sat up and shuffled over to the front of the room on your knees. He had taken to calling you that more recently, rather than “worm” or “louse”. You should be used to it by now but it still managed to summon butterflies in your stomach every time he said it. No one had referred to you that way in what felt like a lifetime.

“Hello”, you breathed.

He held out a slender hand. “May I?”

You nodded and Rouxls took your hand in his through the metal bars. He began rubbing small circles into your palm, which made your heart flutter.

I can’t believe this is actually happening…

“I wonder…” Rouxls spoke. “If I mayeth…” He pulled out a set of shiny silver keys from his pants pocket. “You must understandeth, I cannot free thou. But perhaps I could enter?”

You felt your cheeks grow hot. “Oh yes, please.”

The Duke let go of your hand and fiddled with the lock on the cell door for a moment, and then entered. He seemed a bit unsure of how to position himself, as there wasn’t anything to sit on. Eventually he resigned himself to dropping to the floor crosslegged next to the place where you kneeled. He awkwardly clasped his hands together.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you doing this?” You questioned cautiously.

“I suppose I didst not realize just how lonelye you were.” He shuffled uncomfortably on the floor. “It is quite emptyeth in here, isn’t it? Perhaps I couldst get you a mattress or somethingeth.”

“That’s very kind of you, your grace.”

A light smirk danced across his face. “Ah, yes, I amst a most gracious Duke, am I not?” He teased.

“Um, yes, very uh, very gracious, sir.”

There was no going back now. Your entire form was craving to be touched. Not in a sexual manner exactly, just… to be held by another person.

Slowly and gingerly you shuffled closer to Rouxls and placed your hands on his forearms. “Is it okay if I touch you like this?” You asked.

Looking into his eyes, his expression was difficult to read. You had never been particularly gifted when it came to reading people’s emotions, but Rouxls was especially mystifying to you. Though if you had to guess it almost seemed like a look of pity.

“Thou art welcome to touch me. I can telleth it is needed.” He let out a deep sigh as he unclasped his hands and interlocked them with yours. “Believeth it or not, dear princess, I understandeth loneliness. Tis a deep and agonizing pain.” Smiling softly, he continued. “Wouldst thou by any chance desire a hug? Perhaps a cuddle?”

Butterflies flitted around in the pit of your stomach as you fought to contain your joy. You didn’t want to seem like you were coming on too strong. You couldn’t seem to bring yourself to speak and instead simply nodded your head up and down rapidly.

Rouxls hummed and gently wrapped his arms around your lightly trembling form. You stifled a small gasp as your bodies pressed together. You couldn’t remember the last time you had been hugged. You’d been alone in the dungeon for weeks, sure, but even before that…

When the Spade King had come into power you had been one of the darkners he had vowed to lock away, as the princess of the heart cards. But you had run and hidden yourself in the scarlet forest where you had stayed until you were eventually captured and brought here. The forest was a lonely place, scarce with other darkners. It was your home and you had come to love it, but you often missed the hustle and bustle of the Card Castle where you spent your childhood days.

That had to have been the last time you were hugged. All the way back when you were a child living in the castle. Your memories from that time were vague and blurry, distorted by both time and trauma, but if you concentrated hard enough you could just about recall a faded image of someone who cared for you holding you tight.

You sank deeper into Rouxls’ embrace and rested your head on his shoulder. He began rubbing circles on your back which only deepened the blush setting into your cheeks.

“I am sorry we hadst to meet like thisse, dear princess.”

“Mm”, you mumbled into the fabric of his shirt. He was so soft and his body radiated such a pleasant warmth…you thought you could fall asleep right then and there. Rouxls seemed to notice this as he brushed your hair out of your face and whispered, “Art thou struggling to stayeth awake?”

You nodded into his shoulder.

“I thoughteth as such.”

You looked up into his deep, glittering eyes. “I want you to stay with me.”

“It wouldst be my pleasure, little moth, although we…I…thou knoweth that is not possible, as deeply as it paineth me to say it.” You could tell from the way his voice cracked that he was being sincere. And you knew deep down that he was right and that there was no way he could stay with you, but that didn’t make his words sting any less.

Since you had been brought to the dungeon you had made a considerable effort not to cry. The first few nights were horrible as your body racked with despaired sobs. But after you started getting used to your new surroundings, your main objective became to suppress your emotions.

Now that suppression was catching up to you. You knew that the dam was about to break as you felt water building up in your eyes. You tightly gripped the fabric of Rouxls’ shirt as the tears began to spill out.

“I can’t take it anymore”, you sniffed. “I just can’t do it. I’m so alone.”

Rouxls deepened his embrace. “Husheth now, sweet moth. I willst remain here for a while longer.” He brought a gloved hand to your face and gently brushed away your tears. In a soft voice, almost a whisper, he continued. “If I mayeth, I hath somethinge which may be a help. As you knowe, I amst given the somewhat unofficial role of guardian to prince Lancer. He can be quite troublesome, especiallyeth when he is lackinge in sleep, and so I often must sing lullabies for him, and it doeseth wonders to calm him down. Mayeth I sing for thee?”

A firm nod of the head was your only response as you tried desperately to stop the tears from flowing.

Rouxls began to warble out a quiet, calming melody. You couldn’t be sure exactly, but you thought that maybe, just maybe, you had heard it before when you were young, from someone who loved you.

Your eyelids began to grow heavier and heavier as Rouxls serenaded you there on the cold floor. What a strange night this had been. Shutting your eyes, you willed yourself to take in this moment. You knew that soon Rouxls would be gone and you would be all alone in the darkness again, but for now, no matter how brief a time it may be, you were safe and cared for. You sighed deeply as his honeyed voice carried you into the abyss of sleep.

Chapter Text

The next day when you woke you were alone again.

The floor was impossibly cold against your skin as you rolled over onto your back and willed yourself to sit up. The fabric of your torn clothing had begun to wear thin and the cool morning air sent a chill spiraling through your body.

You watched the little droplets of water drip down from the ceiling to the floor into a small puddle. Your favorite corner of the room happened to be the driest, hence why you had chosen it as your sleeping spot.

As the seconds became minutes and eventually hours, you found yourself anticipating your nightly rendezvous with Rouxls more than you ever had before. You might just go insane if you had to wait much longer. There was nothing to do in the cell. Quite literally, nothing. Unless you happened to count sleeping, eating, at least when the guards remembered to bring you food, or watching droplets of water race down the walls. Well, that wasn’t entirely all there was to do.

You could always fantasize about the Duke.

Eventually, after what seemed a lifetime of waiting, he came for you.

“Dear princess?” came the soft voice you had come to cherish so from the darkness outside. He was finally here. Your expression twisted into a somewhat bashful grin as you pulled yourself up off the floor and approached the bars.

“Hi”, you breathed, not sure of what else to say.

“May I enter?” he whispered.

“Of course”, you murmured in response, and Rouxls unlocked the cell door, stepping inside.

Unable to hold yourself back, you practically jumped on top of him, wrapping your arms tightly around his thin frame.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come back. After… after I asked you to stay with me.” You looked down at the floor, embarrassed. “I really wouldn’t blame you if you hadn’t come, though. I know you must be risking a lot by coming here. By being around me.”

You almost jumped as you felt Rouxls press his gloved hand to your chin and tilt your head up slightly so you were looking at him. He looked guilty.

“You meaneth a great deal to me.”

“I do, your grace?”

Rouxls sighed. “It is rare, you knowe, that I have someone whomst I can confideth in, such as you.” He continued. “And, really, although I am expectedeth to treat prisoners in a certain manner, I do not thinketh you deserve this treatment. Not at all…” He trailed off as he noticed the tears forming in your eyes. You gingerly moved your hand to rest it on his shoulder as the water droplets began to drip down your cheeks. It was a strange reflex. Tears came to you so easily now, a side effect, you assumed, of holding them in so tightly for the past few weeks. Now any quick rush of emotion, negative, positive, or a mix between the two, almost always caused you to tear up no matter how much you tried to stop it.

This time, Rouxls was the one to pull you into a tight embrace. He mumbled something under his breathe that you couldn’t completely make out, but it sounded something like, “I’ll make those tears go away, I swear it.”

This just about pushed you over the edge and your silent tears gave way to some slight hiccups and whimpering. You wanted to speak. To say what you so desperately needed to convey. “P-p…” A hiccup cut you off.

Rouxls gently rubbed your back. “Taketh thine time, dear silk worm.”

Jeez, his pet names were getting stranger and stranger. You were absolutely not complaining about this, though. If he wanted to call you a silk worm you were prepared to let him.

Between hiccups you were just about able to make out what you needed to say, although perhaps not in the most coherent way possible. “Please… I want to go.”

After a period of silence which in reality must have been about fifteen seconds though in your mind felt like hours, Rouxls finallyspoke. “Thou wisheth to leave here, yes?”

“I do”, you whimpered into his shoulder. “I really, really do. More than you can imagine.”

“Wouldst thou wish to sleep in my room tonighte?”

A warm feeling blossomed from your cheeks. “Oh, Rouxls, I… I would love that more than anything.” With a jolt you realized you had accidentally called him by his given name rather than his preferred title of ‘your grace’. You hoped he didn’t mind too much.

“Ah. Good.” He shifted his position awkwardly, clearly nervous, maybe even more than you were, though not seeming to mind your disregard for proper honorifics. “We must be quieteth as mice.” You nodded as he took your hand from his shoulder and placed it in his. “If thou wouldst follow me…”

The castle was like a maze to you, and you were in awe of how Rouxls was able to find his way around so effortlessly. The two of you weaved in and out of dark corridors and through large rooms, his soft hand gripping yours tightly all the while. Only once did you run into another darkner, a small Rudinn who almost seemed to pop out of nowhere. Clearly having thought it through ahead of time, Rouxls quickly retracted his grip and placed both hands on your shoulders before the Rudinn took notice of you. Rouxls gave them a curt nod as he steered you past.

“This prisoner tried to escapeth”, he said. “Luckily for you and the other incompetent guards, t’was easyeth for me to aprehendeth her.” He let out a roguish cackle which seemed to be convincing enough for the Rudinn to lose interest and turn away. You hoped they hadn’t been paying enough attention to notice that you were heading in the exact opposite direction of the dungeon.

The moment you had reached the next room, Rouxls loosened his grip and patted your shoulder. “Sorry abouteth that.”

Eventually you reached a grandiosely decorated door which you took to be the entrance to his room.

The room was large and dark and almost everything seemed to be decorated with shades of blue and silver. You noticed it was significantly warmer here than in the rest of the castle, a pleasant feeling.

“Maketh yourself at home.” Rouxls began removing his jacket, revealing a cotton button up shirt underneath, as a shock of warmth permeated your cheeks. You mentally scolded yourself.

“Thou may wishe to clean thoustself upeth a bit before sleep”, he continued, as he removed his boots.

Suddenly, you found yourself becoming hyper aware of the way you looked. Your clothes were dirty and torn, your hair was a mess, and you generally hadn’t had much chance to clean yourself up recently excepting the few minutes each week you had been allowed soap and a bucket of water.

“I haveth a bathtub if thou carest to use it.” His gloves were next. Your face was so red now that your gaze instinctively dropped to the carpet beneath your feet.

“I-I think I will”, you spluttered. Rouxls nodded and ushered you into the adjoining bathroom. He showed you how to use the tap and poured some bubble soap in, which you were particularly excited about. Just as he was leaving the room, completely against your better judgment, you blurted out a nervous, “Could you stay?”

Rouxls seemed surprised, though not negatively. A small smirk crossed his lips and he chuckled dryly.

“Thou art clingy, dear princess.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been alone so long and now finally I’m not anymore and… I just…”

He cut you off as he stepped closer and knelt down beside the bath, gesturing you forwards. “Think nothing of it. I jest.” He turned towards the wall then, and covered his eyes with his ungloved hand. “I won’t looketh.”

As quickly as possible you removed your clothes and plunged yourself into the bath. It was warm and soft and comforting beyond belief. Once the water was high enough and bubbly enough that you were covered from the chest down, you tapped Rouxls on the shoulder, signaling to him that he could look.

Not sure what to do next, you awkwardly waved at him as if to say, “hello there!” Although you didn’t intend it to be funny, he clearly seemed to find it so, as he burst out laughing a moment later. There was something about the sheer absurdity of the moment combined with your very tired attention deprived brain that made you start to laugh along with him. It was a joyful feeling, as well as almost definitely the most open you had felt with him since you had met.

“I can assisteth if thou wouldst like.”

“Oh!”, you almost gasped, the warmth creeping its way back into your cheeks. “I-I…you…yes…? Yes. Yes!”

Rouxls chuckled as he wetted a cloth and began to gently lather soap onto your body. Shutting your eyes and laying back your head, you silently thanked whatever powers might exist in the universe that you had him with you. Being treated like a princess was something you hadn’t experienced in ages, but god, did it feel good.

Once you were clean Rouxls handed you a soft towel which you wrapped around your shivering body as you stepped out of the bath. Once dry you were given a fluffy robe to wear.

He sat on the side of the bed. “Wouldst thou likest me to comb thou’r hair?” He lightly patted the space next to him.

“That’s very sweet of you”, you smiled shyly, as you sat down.

You forced yourself to remain as still as possible as he slowly passed the comb through your knotted hair, clearly trying to be as gentle as possible. Whenever he hit a tangle he would spend extra time delicately going over the area so as not to hurt you. Neither of you said much while he worked.

“Your hair”, Rouxls wondered aloud. “Mayeth I braid it?” You nodded and he gently began picking up stands and crossing them overtop of each other in a delicate pattern. Damn, he was really good at this. You assumed he must have had some practice on his own luscious hair. It looked absolutely prime for braiding, you could tell, even though you weren’t particularly skilled at braiding.

The braiding felt strangely intimate. It was almost rhythmic the way he crossed the ropes of hair over and over again to create his intricate pattern, pulling oh so gently so as not to hurt you. A distant memory tickled at the back of your mind of someone braiding your hair a lifetime ago, and you began to feel very tired.

Once he had finished, Rouxls stood up briskly and stated, “I willst sleepeth on yonder floor.” He dropped to the ground in a heap and you could almost swear you heard a faint ‘splat’ noise echoing from where he landed. “The bed is yours.”

No. You didn’t want to be alone.

“After all this I’m not going to let you sleep on the floor.”

Rouxls sat upright. “Thou wish to shareth the bed?” He pursed his lips. “How scandalous. How improper!” He pulled himself up from the floor, bounded across the room, and flopped onto the bedspread. “I accepteth.”

You snorted and scooted yourself onto the bed. The fluffy blankets were incredibly soft on your skin as you tucked yourself in next to your darling duke.

“Doest thou wish to keepeth the lights on or off?”

“On please”, you quickly responded. “It’s always so very dark in the dungeon. Sometimes I wake up in the dead of night and I can’t see anything at all. I’m sorry, I know it’s childish, but…”

“Nonsenseth. The lights wille be on, then. Do not giveth it anothere thought, my sweet papillon.”

“I want you to hold me”, you spoke matter-of-factly.”

Rouxls smiled softly and scooted closer to you. As he started to wrap his arms around you, your heart beat faster and faster. After a few moments of fidgeting you were able to find the perfect position. His arms around your upper body, your head pressed against his chest, and your arms wrapped around his sides.

“I hopeth thou doest not snore.”

“Hah.”

You lay there, eyes shut, trying to think of something interesting to say. Were you even supposed to talk in a situation like this? What did this situation even qualify as? There was certainly a lot of tension between the two of you, but neither of you had outright made a move. For all you knew, Rouxls could be treating you well only out of pity and guilt. There was no guarantee he felt for you what you felt for him. In your mind you fantasized darkly about being rejected by him. Perhaps he was holding you in the way one holds a hungry stray cat or an injured bird rather than the way one holds a lover.

“Can I ask you something?” you whispered.

“Anythinge.”

Should you confess your feelings? You wanted to so badly but fear of rejection shadowed your every decision. You couldn’t do it, you decided. You couldn’t risk the pain. Quickly, you thought up something else to ask. Something you just so happened to have been dying to know.

“Can you bring me here again?”

The next few moments of silence were nothing short of torture to your heart and mind. Eventually Rouxls spoke.

“I wanteth you to listen to me most closely. I refuse to alloweth such a gentle creature as thyself to rot in the nethers of the castle for any longre. Doest thou understandeth me?”

It took you a moment to process what he had just said. Your first reaction was to squeeze him tightly, almost vibrating with joy. “You’re so kind”, was all you could manage to say.

In your mind however, your response was a simple, “I love you.”