Archive of Our Own

Jinx cannot begin to describe how dull the night has been. Hours of sitting there waiting for people who never show, wasting the night away balancing books instead of having fun. This is the worst punishment Silco could have given her. So, when a woman walks in soaked to the bone with no fuckin’ shoes and trembling like she’s coming off the worst high of her life or you know, crawled out of a lake like the Creature From The Harlequin Sump, Jinx perks up just a little. Finally, some entertainment!

She’s pretty, even under the miserable kicked puppy look. There’s a wet cloth bundle in her hands that honestly looks like a bed sheet or a blanket. Maybe it’s a fancy towel, or a jacket? Whatever it is, it’s wrapped around what are likely clothes. There’s something dark and red stained on the left cuff of her pants that Jinx knows better than to ask about. Actually when the light hits it, it could be a deep green?

The woman walks almost mechanically over to a machine, dripping the whole way and sets the wet bundle on top with a nasty little splat. She starts patting her pockets down after, expression growing more panicked and defeated by the second. It’s clear she’s coming up empty every time.

Jinx is feeling a teensy bit like a voyeur at this point.

There’s a soft little sniffle as she bows over, head thunking against the machine in what looks like surrender. Jinx isn’t one for acts of kindness, she isn’t one for a good deed, or being nice, but all the same something makes her stand up. Something draws her over to the machine next to the woman with a shark toothed grin.

“Giving up so soon Pinkie?” She jumps like a startled cat, and spins around to face Jinx. Her back is stiff as a board, with eyes wider than the sink hole eating the fissures. “My name’s Lux.” It looks like a cute automatic response, the kind that’s immediately regretted as her expression twists into a minor grimace.

“Sure thing Bubblegum Sundae!” Jinx crows cheerily. Lux’s lips part, but whatever she may have said doesn’t make it past, instead she shivers. There’s an adorable little furrow between her brows. The kind that just screams ‘I’m a lost wet lamb.’ Lux turns back to the washing machine, her shoulders fall not soon after.

Jinx leans into Lux’s space and Lux turns to her quickly, seems to realize how close they are and then leans back, just a little. Her bubblegum pink eyes widen, dashing about Jinx’s face as red dust her cheeks. Jinx’s grin twitches wider as she slides a golden hex into the slot to activate the machine. “Lux, Luxie, Luxie-poo, Bubblegum Sundae, Sunshine, Saturated Sea-maiden, Cotton Candy kitty cat, -” Lux stutters out a startled laugh, squeaky and high pitched, rising and lowering wildly. It’s absolutely awful, Jinx kinda loves it.

Jinx’s rictus grin turns sly as her gaze slides meaningfully towards the machine, then back to Lux who is staring just a little intensely at her face. “Better start putting your suspect looking clothes in before it times out.” Lux makes a soft little ‘Oh’ as she quickly unties the bundle and shoving what looks like some sort of uniform into it.

Looks a bit kinky really, skirt, big bow, stockings all with suspicious weirdly colored stains, Jinx’s eyes slide away from the clothes back to Lux who has started talking as she readies the machine. “Thank you for this, I- I didn’t catch your name?”

Jinx chuckles. “That’s ‘cuz I never gave it, Sweetheart. Names Jinx, stands for Jinx.” Lux’s mouth moves soundlessly, as if tasting it, or saying it to herself.

“Well Jinx, you have my sincerest gratitude. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Jinx snickers, her grin turning lopsided. Seriously, who talks like this?

“Don’t gotta worry about that Bubblegum Sundae, you chose the best machine in the joint.” Jinx playfully slaps the top of it, watching Lux casually as ever twist the dials and turn the machine on. As the machine rumbles to life, Jinx hears that beautiful clink-clink-clink as the golden hex falls down the machine.

Lux turns to look at her, genuine curiosity shining in her pink eyes. “Why is it the best?” Jinx reaches behind the machine grabbing a long wooden stick with a magnet taped madly onto it. She flashes a wide playful smile and bends over, shoving the stick under till she hears the satisfying clink of the magnet snatching onto the golden hex.

She pulls the stick out from under the machine and blows the dust off with a shit eating grin. Jinx then offers the golden hex end of the stick to Lux. “It’s free, Sunshine.” Lux laughs, clearly delighted with Jinx’s shenanigans. Jinx wiggles the stick enticingly. “C’mooon. You know you wanna, free washes.”

A shiver rolls through Lux and she rubs her arms against the chill. “C’mon Sunshine, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Hands still rubbing her arms Lux raises an eyebrow in what appears to be an equally playful manner. “I get arrested?”

Jinx scoffs softly. “Please, the owners of this joint are softies.” She wiggles the stick one more time. Finally, Lux caves with a soft sigh and plucks the golden hex off the end of the stick. Jinx tosses the stick back into its rightful place.

“That’s a good girl.”

Lux sputters in response face redder than a mutated sump lobster. It’s really cute. Pinkie is way too fun to tease.

“Well Cotton Candy Kitty Cat, I’m going to go get you some abandoned clean clothes to wear so you stop making the floor a free slip and slide.” With a quick turn of her heel she heads into the employee only room. Though she is not technically an employee and just watching the place as a favor, and technically a punishment but shh that's a secret, Jinx has full access to every room an employee does.

She also knows there are a good deal of comfy clothes people left and never came back for. New clothes that had their tags still on them to be precise. Jinx has no doubt they were originally stolen, but some of them have been here for years.

Jinx already snagged the ones in her style, what remains are the rejects she wouldn't be caught dead in. Pinkie might like them though. She grabs the whole bag and starts to kick the bucket with the wet floor sign hanging off it out of the room as well.

With one last hard shove it flies into motion, wheels screaming as it rolls out of the room like a shot, slams into one of the machines and then slowly meanders over the puddle where it comes to a rest. Sometime during that, Lux had shouted in surprise and honestly looked five seconds away from throwing hands.

She just grins at Lux’s startled look and waves the bag of clothes at her. “Pick whatever, there’s a towel in there too. They’re all new so you don’t have to worry and the bathrooms right there-” Jinx jerks a thumb over her shoulder at the door to the far right of the entire laundromat. “Don’t take too long or I might think you fell in.” Lux walks over a smile curving her lips as she takes the bag from Jinx. “Thank you again for this Jinx.” Like how Jinx got into her space earlier Lux returns the favor, leaning close on her tip toes, her bright pink eyes catch onto Jinx’s own gaze as she murmurs. “You somehow made the worst day the best, I think it might be that smile.” Jinx blinks, which is crazy if you know her, she never blinks. Right now? Doing her best at it, like an Olympic sport for stunned blinking.

“Uhh.” Ahh, brilliant. This is how you get the girls Jinx, astounding rizz. Luckily Lux is already walking away before she can properly reboot Jinx.exe and embarrass herself further. Rubbing the back of her neck Jinx turns back towards the bucket and wet floor sign and gets to work.

At least she isn’t bored anymore. The first thing she does is snap the sign open and drop it onto the floor. Which she may or may not have altered to have the person slipping onto a bag of dicks or questionably pointed objects. (She needs plausible deniability ok) When she gets the mop onto the wet floor, it's clear that this mop sucks. With a capital S. Absolute garbage piece of equipment.

Jinx doesn't feel bad at all about throwing it onto the floor and leaving to grab something better. Like the fucking towels that have been sitting around for ages in the back room. They make the job way easier, and she’s already in a laundromat so she can clean them before she leaves.

Jinx tosses the wet towels into a machine, puts the mop back, pours a generous amount of detergent, and uses the same trick she showed Lux. It’s around that time that Lux exits the bathroom. She immediately starts looking around the laundromat, something like longing in her eyes, but when she spots Jinx her eyes light up.

“Hey Raspberry rose, all dry?” Jinx notes the phone in Lux’s hand, and the giddy skip to her steps. Maybe a boyfriend or something messaged her? She kind of hates how that thought sends a spike of jealousy through her, she’s known Lux for less than an hour.

“Yes, I have to ask, where do you come up with these nicknames?”

“Depends on the muse Sunshine.”

Lux shakes her head smiling softly as she moves back to the rumbling washer. “Well, how do you come up with the ones for me?”

Jinx laugh’s. “Easy. Cute nicknames for a cute girl. Or the stupidest shit I could think of because I’m hilarious.”

Lux snorts softly, looking over her shoulder as she questions Jinx. “Which is which?”

“That’s the neat part sweetheart! Both, or neither, I'll see what sticks and come up with new nicknames regardless. Sometimes I treat it like I'm mixing a drink.”

“Stupidly cute nicknames huh?” The machine comes to a stop with a loud buzz before Lux can continue. “Do you-” She trails off hand on top of the washing machine, right on the dent and expression pensive. Lux shakes her head instead of continuing opening the lid of the washer and then looking at the dryer.

Jinx cocks her head to the side, curiosity prickling at her, wondering what she was going to ask. But- She doesn’t press the issue, instead she makes her way towards the dryer and hops onto the machine next to it. “Same trick Sunshine, put the golden hex in, but you kick it where the dent is after it starts. Give it a good wallop. Just pretend it’s someone who pissed ya off recently.” Jinx leans back, hands laced behind her head with a cheeky grin.

“When the robots rise up these ones will be on the front lines against humanity.” Lux says it so solemnly, perfectly mimicking that stupid scene in PROJECT: Praetorian that Jinx couldn’t stop the cackle even if she wanted to. She’s laughing so hard that she hits her head on the cabinet behind her and just keeps laughing even as she rubs the sore spot.

When she manages to get her laughter under control Lux’s hand is on the machine next to her leg, the other half reaching out to her, stopping just before she touches. The worry is clear in her eyes. “Jinx! Are you ok?”

It makes her chest feel just a little warm. A little weird. She can count on one hand the amount of people that actually care about her. “Yeah Luxie, I’m fine. No cabinet is going to beat me. Now hurry and put your clothes in the dryer, you don’t wanna be stuck here all night. Trust me it’s boring in this joint.”

Lux does return to putting her clothes in the machine, but there's a cute little smile on her face, like she has a secret. “I don’t think it’s boring, not if you're here.” And really, how unfair, truly nefarious. Some cute stranger, saying all these sweet things to her. Someone she’s never met before in her life but it feels like she’s known lifetimes more. Clearing her throat she steadfastly ignores the blush on her face.

“You talk to every girl like that bright eyes?”

“Nope, just the cute ones!” Lux practically chirps in response.

“Alright, now I know you’re doing this on purpose.” Jinx points accusingly, she’s still embarrassed but there’s also euphoria. It bubbles up like sweet champagne and warms her chest. There’s something indescribable about gender affirming acknowledgement. She can’t put it into words.

Tears prick her eyes, and Jinx does her best to pretend it’s definitely from hitting her head earlier and not being emotionally overwhelmed. Or from the creeping dark thoughts trying to leave her cold.

They slink in, thoughts like razor blades, whispering her darkest fears. Turning euphoria into misery. If she knew she wouldn’t- She feels a thigh press against her own, Jolting her from her thoughts to watch as Lux settles beside her. “Jinx, where did you go? You looked a million miles away from here.”

Jinx rubs her face, glad to feel no tears had slipped free during her distraction. “Nowhere important, bright eyes.” Upon looking up, she’s startled to find just how close Lux’s face is to her own. Which makes sense if she were thinking, Lux is sitting beside her, thigh pressed against her own for contact.

“Did I-” She seems to gather her courage, and offers a small unsure, if concerned smile. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

Jinx is already shaking her head before Lux can finish. “No I just-” Trailing off Jinx twirls her finger in a slowly descending circle.

“Do you work here every night?” Owlishly blinking Jinx glances sidelong at Lux.

“No, I don’t technically work here at all. I’m watching the place as a punishment.”

“A punishment?” The way it’s said holds a hint of disappointment, Lux’s lips part as if to add more, instead they twist, purse and then release a sigh. Jinx looks away upon realizing that she’s staring a bit intensely at her mouth.

“Yeah, my dad knows the owners and I uhhhh- Maybe did something that upset him. He’s got me watching this place for the night. Why-” Jinx gives a cheeky grin, masking her nerves with bravado. “Hoping to see me here again?”

“Yes. I was.” Lux gives her a bashful grin. “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you Jinx. Could I- have your number? So we can talk?” A surprisingly old phone is offered to her, the stand out thing is an old scuffed sticker of what looks like a mechanical shark. “You don’t have to of course-” Lux keeps talking, but Jinx has lost the plot.

The sticker, it tickles like something long forgotten, a fog where there should be memory. It has claws and teeth sharpened on grief digging into the soft wrinkly meat of her brain, someone lost forever.

Someone who was never real.

She went to therapy for this.

She’s on medication for this.

Jinx has spent years of her life being told that she never had a friend as a child. That she always played alone, that she was just so fucking lonely and so fucking pathetic she made up an entire person to be her friend to cope with being different, to cope with her family life.

That she’s never known a little girl with a smile like the sun that made Jinx feel less alone. That the girl was just a figment of her imagination. It clicks into place, why she’s felt at home around this woman who calls herself ‘Lux’. She’s what that little girl would have looked like all grown up.

Awareness comes back all at once, like a punch in the face. Toilet paper is pressed frantically against her nose and wide pink eyes are filled with terror and so, so much guilt. Lux’s mouth moves, pink tongue to teeth, pretty lips forming words and sounds Jinx doesn’t have the presence of mind to comprehend.

Strangely enough, she does hear a soft little chirp crystal clear against the haze of words. Did an animal break in?

A warm hand presses to her cheek. Jinx flinches back, head smacking against the cabinets again. The pain is a dull throb, one she ignores to curl into herself and bury her face into her knees.

“You’re not real.”

There’s a sharp inhale. “Jinx.” The softest utterance of her name she’s ever heard. “Please look at me. And if you can’t please- Just listen.” A deep wavering breath.

“When I was younger, I had the bestest friend in the world. Kind, fun, brought adventure with every laugh and knew how to get me out of my shell-” She trails off to sniffle. “But my friend was afraid, hiding something from me, and so I was afraid too-. I wanted to help but I didn’t know how, and he was shutting me out.”

Silence for a moment. “He was finding out who he was. I wanted so badly to help but I never- I never got to meet that person. The one my best friend was always meant to be. I never-”

Jinx’s hands fall from their brace around her hand, extending out over her knees as she stares listlessly at the wall. Her skin is crawling, prickling, ants bite-bite-biting at exposed wounds and far off memories buried under therapy and repetition. But she listens all the same.

“I was offered an opportunity-” Lux sniffles and from the corner of her eye she watches Lux rub her hand across her face and fall silent.

Tick-tick-tock.

“I always wanted to be more than I was. I was a stupid rich kid with only one real friend and wanting freedom from her preordained life. Instead-” Lux sounds terribly bitter as she talks.

“I wanted to protect the world like one of those old cartoon or anime heroes. My friend knew that, my friend was always- always there for me. Always by my side and when I needed him-” Lux pauses expression twisting. “I’d get everything, everything my stupid kid self wanted. But I’d lose the only person who mattered. The magic- It would make my best friend forget me. I wanted to talk to him before-”

One sentence cannibalizes itself, an unfinished thought being consumed by another. “There was an attack by those creatures the same day the same moment I was given the offer. They were attacking the carnival my friend was at with- with his older sister.” Lux trails off, tears streaking like glittering stars down her face as she weeps. “I couldn’t let him get hurt, and I wasn’t thinking. So I-” A hitching sob. “I accepted and took the vow. By the time I could go looking for him again, my best friend was gone.”

It sounds crazy. Jinx knows a thing or two about crazy, she also knows she took her medication this morning and every morning before. And if she’s honest, some part of her had always fiercely believed her childhood best friend was real. Not just a figment of her imagination. Her tongue feels heavy in her mouth.

Tongue to teeth, jaw clenched tight, Jinx swallows every vicious word clawing at her throat. What she does choose to say might be razors anyway. “I never forgot you.” Her gaze drifts down, to the bloodied toilet paper bunched in her lap, and slipping from between her legs. She grabs one and rubs the snot and blood from under her nose away.

“That first night, I looked for you everywhere. Every place I could remember. All my memories were so foggy. Fuzzy. Like lookin’ at something through a smudged lens. I couldn’t find you. I looked through pictures I remember us taking together and I was alone in every single one.” Jinx knows she must look a little wild eyed.

“Photos, drawings- I tried calling the fucking number on my sisters shitty little flip phone and it was an out of service number, with a Pizza joint name. It was my own handwriting on the drawings we did. The gifts she made me were all gone. I went to her house-” She sucks in a breath.

“They had no idea who I was talking about. People told me I was fuckin’ crazy. That I never had a friend, that I always played alone, and then I was put in a fuckin’ institution until they could get me medicated enough to accept that you were all in my head.”

Panic, restlessness- She doesn’t know, whatever the urge it makes her move, makes her slide from the washing machine, one hand fisted into her hair and tugging in distress. When her feet hit the ground she stumbles and when she's steady she starts pacing. She feels like an animal locked in a cage.

“And if you aren’t- If you’re just all in my head-” It’s a little unhinged, her laugh, she knows it is. She’s seconds from weeping but she isn’t entirely convinced that Lux is real anyway and no one walks into this place without an invitation except apparently potential hallucinations so she doesn’t feel particularly bad about it.

“If I’m having another psychotic break and just imagining you again I think I’m honestly going to just blow my brains out because I just-” Jinx spins on her heel, taking in the disheveled, devastated look in Lux’s eyes. “I can't do this again.” Her voice breaks. “I can’t lose you, not again.”

She chokes on a sob. “I loved you and I knew you would never love me back. And I was okay with that because you were with me. And when I started to question everything about myself I felt like I was so fucking filthy and I was so scared.”

Jinx sucks in a stuttering breath. “I thought that's why you left at first. That you could just tell how fucking disgusting I was.” Jinx has never seen an expressive face more devastated than the one she’s looking at now. Lux’s face has crumpled, lashes clumped together with tears, snot and tears mixing on her lip. She’s still unfairly pretty. “That you could see how much I wanted you, how much I loved you, that I wanted so badly to be a girl-” She laughs again and feels no joy. “And then it was like you just never fucking existed. That I just made you up so I could cope with being a freak. I can’t-”

She covers her face fighting the ugly sobs that stutter her chest and failing. “How am I supposed to know you're real?”

There’s that same strange squeaky chirp like noise. All the hairs on Jinx’s arm raise, the air prickling with something like static, there’s a smell in the air of something she can only describe as stardust, the taste of it thick on her tongue. It tastes like long lonely nights. It tastes like longing.

Soft satin gloved fingers gently pry her hands from her face and then cup her cheeks like she's a precious treasure. Her clothes are changed, from the ones lent to her to ones much like what Lux had tossed into the machines to clean.

“I don’t know.” One of Lux’s hands brushes away Jinx’s tears and then slides down her neck, down her shoulder, and makes a path down to the small of her back where it presses in and pulls Jinx against her into a hug. She’s warm, she smells like sunlight and childhood memories.

But it’s hard to look at her. She desperately wants to, but something like a headache throbs in her skull, and her vision doubles, triples, quadruples like she’s drunker than a skunk and on the worst trip of her life. Jinx closes her eyes and it abates.

Their foreheads are pressed together now, almost every inch of their bodies are touching in this embrace but Jinx still feels like Lux might slip through her fingers again, no matter how desperately she clings to her. As the anxiety climbs, she hears that soft little chirrup again. The sound is strangely soothing.

“I’m sorry, after all this time I’m still so selfish, Jinx. I saw you in here and I just- I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t stop to think how it would have affected you, I just thought it made you forget me. My unfortunate dip into the lake is the push that made me come in but I’ve been trying to find the courage to do it since that first night I saw you here. I missed you so much.” Her voice is soft, a trembling whispered confession between them.

“I wanted to protect you, from myself and the very real monsters of the world. But I hurt you instead, deeper than any other.” Lux sniffles. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never thought you were disgusting, I thought you were the most beautiful soul I ever met. You made me so happy and I missed you with every breath. I thought you would be happier without me. There were so many nights I wished I never took that stupid oath and so many more nights I deluded myself into thinking you must be happier without me.”

The shitty fluorescent lights of the laundromat catch the tears clumping Lux’s lashes in their sickly light, then they catch the brilliant pink of her eyes as she looks up and meets Jinx’s own gaze. “If this is a dream-” Lux takes a shaky breath and offers the sweetest smile of the night. “Then I’ll sleep for eternity if it means I stay with you. I don’t want to lose you again either.”

It seems ten years did nothing to stifle the longing she’s felt for Lux. It did nothing to deter how much she loves her, how much she wants her company. Every repressed feeling is roaring back to life. “Be real.” Jinx begs, pleads so softly, with all her heart. “Please be real.” Her tears are brushed away with all the tenderness in the world.

“I’m real, as real as you are.” Lux’s voice is soft, nervous and yet- it’s determined. Jinx closes her eyes and listens to the timber of her voice. “Do you think you can ever forgive me?”

“Are you going to stay?” She bites her lip, worrying it between her teeth.

“Yes, if you’ll let me.” The words are said in a breath, the hand on Jinx’s back trembling. Jinx squeezes Lux in a desperately tight hug, trying to say everything she can in the only language she’s ever been truly fluent in.

“D-don’t leave me again.” Jinx begs.

There’s that little chirrup sound again, then suddenly something impossibly soft is brushing against her throat. A small body presses into her neck, and then a little face nuzzles against her cheek. She hears that squeaky little noise again, feels it vibrate against her neck.

Jinx’s eyes snap open to soft pink fur and the feeling of something tickling her ear. Suddenly her vision is filled with bright purple eyes and a sweet smile on a fuzzy, fluffy critter. “Uhm. Hi?” Behind the creature she sees the absolutely gob smacked look on Lux’s face, who must have leaned back just a bit.

“Mimi?” Lux’s voice comes out choked and watery, but more than that it comes out saturated with disbelief.

Mimi makes a bouncy little noise, almost like a laugh, and she twirls in place floating in front of her. For almost all her life, since she’s lost Lux there has been a hollow place in her aching chest. Mimi presses against her again, wrapping a long fluffy tail around her neck. That ache withers and that hollow place is filled with warmth.

Haltingly she reaches up cradling the smaller creature in her hands and pulling her gently closer as she looks to Lux. Lux who had stepped fully away as if in shock, as she still looks as if she had her world turned upside down and twirled all around. And well, welcome to the party.

She feels a stuttering rumble against her ear almost like the purring of a cat. “So uh-” She clears her throat hoping she isn’t getting any tears or snot on the admittedly adorable critters fur. “Why do you look like it’s the second coming of Janna?”

Lux startles out of whatever funk she fell into, wide pink eyes snapping into focus. “J-Janna?!”

Jinx blinks a little owlishly, fingers playing with Mimi’s ears as she wriggles happily against her. “Yeah Luxie, the goddess of Zaun? I know I told you some of the stories when we were kids.”

“Oh, right right-” Lux is rapidly blinking, still staring at the weird pink friend Jinx has seemingly made as if she’s trying to make sense of something. “It’s Mimi, she doesn’t-” White satin gloved hands gesture to the creature, and Jinx realizes that it no longer hurts to try and look at Lux like this.

“She doesn’t ever come out of the staff, she’s shy and I-” A loud buzz startles the both of them, making them both startle. Mimi on the other hand doesn’t even flinch against Jinx, just presses against her more tightly, that stuttery rumble picking up in volume.

It takes a moment before Jinx realizes that Mimi has been comforting her this whole time even before she appeared, and it’s worked. Lux looks visibly torn between staying right where she is and taking care of the laundry. Her pink lips are half parted but she seems to come to a conclusion or a decision and swallow it down.

Lux turns around heading towards the dryer and opening it and then slamming it closed immediately without taking her laundry out.

“Uhh, Luxie you know you have to get your clothes out right?” Lux hunches forward shoulders rising to the level of her ears and a tickle of suspicion wriggles at the back of her mind. Mimi titters against her throat, soft puffs of air hitting her neck as she does so. For all that Lux is different, she’s still very much the same as she was years ago. And this? This is guilty Lux to a T.

That starts to solidify her thoughts. “Mimi-” She murmurs in a soft whisper, making sure she’s just loud enough for Lux to hear. “Could Luxie have just magicked her clothes clean this entire time?” That same bouncy little noise, fully unleashed as Mimi giggles nodding against her throat. Jinx joins in her laughter feeling lighter than ever.

“Lux- Come here.” Lux turns, cheeks flushed and face still covered in drying snot and tears.

Even now she’s breathtaking.

Mimi shifts, soft fur sliding against her skin as the pink creature moves to settle on her shoulder, still pressing as close as physically possible.

Lux stops in front of her, wringing her hands as she looks up into Jinx’s eyes and won’t you look at that. She used to be so much shorter and now- Jinx reaches up, cupping Lux’s tacky cheek with a gentle hand as she searches Lux’s expression. Thoughts rush like rapid waters through her mind, so many thoughts, so many things to say and to tell her.

“I’m still in love with you.” So of course her brain decides that the one thing to blurt out is the one thing she should keep locked up. But Lux doesn’t flinch away from her confession, and if she thinks about it, she’s pretty sure she accidentally confessed during her rant anyway.

Mimi makes a happy little noise, bouncing on her shoulder, tail slapping against her hair, back, and neck seemingly in excitement. Lux on the other hand looks terribly sad, and so terribly full of hope at the same time. “I’m still in love with you too-” Lux cup’s Jinx’s tear tacky face, pulling her closer as she goes onto her tiptoes.

They meet each other partway. It’s honestly disgusting, the salt of tears and snot, the wet tacky slick of both, but Jinx wouldn’t change this honest moment for the world. They both laugh softly into each other's mouths, the kiss breaking as they press their foreheads together once again.

“So can you just magic us clean?” Lux laughs wetly, shaking her head in the negative.

“It doesn’t work like that Jinx.” Jinx feels oddly settled, her emotions have whiplashed all over the place. Highs, lows, lower than lows- But right now, there’s contentment.

Hope.

“If you’re a hallucination-” Soft lips press against her own, cutting her off. Still gross, still wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I’m not and you aren’t either. You’re the sweetest dream Jinx, but this moment is real. Mimi’s my familiar, a part of my soul given form-” Lux takes a deep breath and Jinx wonders why she’s telling her this. “Would you like her to stay with you? No one else can see her unless they’re a guardian and I’m- I’m not sure why you can.”

Jinx reaches towards Mimi, gentle fingers stroking through soft fur as Mimi chirrups and squeaks. “Honestly I think she might follow you home anyway.”

Jinx bites her lips, half opened eyes searching Lux’s expression desperately. “Will I be able to see her when you aren’t around?”

Lux breathes in deeply. “I’m not sure, but I think she would fight the First Star if that happened. I think she will make sure of it through sheer force of will.” Mimi puffs out her chest a firm nod and a noise of agreement confirming what Lux said.

Jinx huffs a laugh, feeling terribly exhausted and wrung out from the trial tonight. “So- Could you magic yourself clean?” Lux’s fingers wind into Jinx’s shirt.

“Yes.”

“And you could have this whole time?”

Lux’s lip twitches. “Yes.”

Jinx nods slowly, a sly easy grin pulling at her lips. “So you wanted a gross messy kiss?” Lux huffs a muffled laugh as she buries her face into Jinx’s chest. Jinx’s arms wrap around Lux in return.

“Do you like them? I grew them myself! Well, with the help of my fairy titmother.”

It starts as laughter that quickly dissolves into sobbing, Lux clinging onto her like the only lifeline in the world. Initially it startles her, but Jinx gets it. The whiplash of repressed emotion, the joy of their connection anew, and the upset at its severing long ago. Even though Lux made the choice, Jinx understands.

She may have made the same one from what it sounds like. If Lux was in danger she would have done anything to protect her. Her arms wind tight around Lux grounding her to the moment.

Jinx begins to hum, wiping her hand on her own shirt before sliding careful hands through Lux’s hair. Mimi begins her stuttering purr again. Lux’s incoherent blubbering turns into words. “I missed so much of your life I’ll never get to walk beside you for Jinx, I’m sorry, I'm sorry how can you forgive me-?”

“I would have done the same.” Jinx sighs softly, cradling Lux. “Listen, Luxie. If there is one thing all the therapy, doctors, and crashouts have taught me- It’s that life isn’t perfect, it’s not predictable. Trying to if yourself into a better past will never work. Ya can’t change what ya did, who ya were, the choice ya made. We can only move forward.”

She pushes Lux’s hair behind her ear. “Not that I’m always the best at taking that advice but you were always better at listening to good advice than I am. I forgive you bright eyes, but you gotta forgive yourself too ya know?”

Jinx feels her shirt pull against her neck as Lux tightens her grip.

“I don’t know if I can.”

Jinx rubs against Lux’s back in a mirror of the way Lux used to comfort her when they were children. “That’s alright Sunshine, Mimi and I will help ya find it. Maybe we can find mine too while we're at it.” A grin soft and gentle curls her lips as she holds Lux tight.

“An adventure you and me-” Mimi makes an attention-grabbing squeaky chirp as if to remind them she’s here too. “And Mimi of course, maybe we can convince my lazy ass cats to come too. You’d love em Lux- Absolute terrors, but somehow super sweet. You’ll come meet them, won't you?”

She feels a nod against her chest and returns to humming softly.

New beginnings, just like the old. An unexpected meeting at an unexpected time. It won’t be easy, but it will be perfect in all its sweet pain and joy.

She just hopes it’s not a dream.

Mimi harmonizes with her.