Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Please, won’t you rethink your decision?” Yixing hastily spoke into the phone. “We’re so close to the debut date, I’m sure we can work something—hello? Are you still there? Hello?”

Heaving a dejected sigh, Yixing ran his hand through his hair and resisted the urge to punch something. He slumped against the wall in the hallway and frowned at the phone in his hands.

He was one week away from the scheduled debut date of the band that he had worked so hard with for the past four years. The carefully picked out date had been a source of motivation for him and his bandmates when they were all nearing exhaustion after another late-night practice; Yixing had been over the moon excited for the day to arrive. After all, he had waited four long years in order to perfect the sound he envisioned for his band to achieve. However, after the phone call with who was supposed to be the main vocalist for his band—who was supposed to debut with them in a week—he wasn’t as elated anymore.

Knowing that he couldn’t wallow in self-pity forever, after all he was the leader and dependable older brother of his rock band BLACK PEARL, Yixing picked himself up from where he was slumped against the wall and walked back into the practice room where the rest of the members were gathered.

He spotted Kyungsoo, a man of few words but immense talent in playing the electric bass, perched on a stool, scrolling through his phone with the usual disinterested look on his face. Chanyeol, who was their fiery drummer, was sprawled on the wooden floor, trying to strike up a conversation with Kyungsoo. And lastly, Yixing’s gaze fell onto the youngest and rhythm guitarist of the band. Sehun was also perched on a stool, and he was playing around with his guitar, trying out different combination of chords.

Now, Yixing wasn’t normally the type to get riled up. In fact, he maintained a reputation of being a total softie amongst his bandmates and fans. But right now, Yixing could feel something akin to anger, hot and slowly burning across his entire body.

“Oh Sehun,” Yixing found himself say. “I am going to end you.”

—☆—

“Geez, hyung, I’ve already apologized for like 5 million times,” Sehun grumbled next to Yixing. “I’m really sorry, okay?”

All Yixing could do was sigh.

After a full 20 minutes of yelling and reprimanding, Yixing felt his fury gradually subdue and what was once explosive anger now simmered down into irritation that was softly gnawing at him.

He turned to look at Sehun, who did appear to genuinely look apologetic, and shook his head. Yixing knew couldn’t stay angry at this kid for long.

“Now what,” Kyungsoo spoke up, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “So Sehun couldn’t keep it in his pants and slept with our main vocalist’s girlfriend. And now we don’t have a vocalist. ”

“Look, if I had known she was his girlfriend, I never would have—”

Yixing waved his hand to dismiss Sehun. It was too late for that kind of talk now.

Chanyeol looked worried as well. “We only have a week left before we’re supposed to perform at the showcase…”

Yixing wanted to scream, I know, I know. It seemed like that everything he had worked so hard to achieve for the past several years had instantaneously gone down the drain and it pained him more than anybody else in the room knowing that there was nothing else they could do about it. His words got stuck in his throat and all he could manage was a pained expression on his face.

The atmosphere in the room was thick with tension and uncertainty.

Then Sehun’s mumble cut through the silence.

“She wasn’t even that good.”

All Yixing heard was someone—probably Kyungsoo—shoving Sehun against a wall, as he stepped out of the room to get some fresh air.

He had a week to find another vocalist.

—☆—

Nearly a week later, Yixing found himself on the phone again.

“Yeah, I just got here,” Yixing spoke to the phone, eyeing the building in front of him. “Are you sure this is the place? It’s a church?”

Yixing glanced around. Nobody was around for him to ask, so it looked like he would have to step inside. With one hand still holding his phone against his ear, Yixing pulled open one of the double doors and stepped inside.

“Minseok, was it?” Yixing asked the person on the other end of the call for confirmation. Once he had the name of the person whom he was supposed to look for, Yixing began to walk further into the building, hoping to bump into someone.

“Seriously, Luhan, why couldn’t you have gone to the appliance section of Wal-mart or something, like a normal person, and not buy a toaster off of some stranger from Craigslist?”

Luhan, the person whom Yixing was conversing on the phone with, whined through the receiver and insisted that it wasn’t any ordinary toaster, but a “Dualit 6 Slide Toaster”, strongly emphasizing on the “six slides, Xing, six slides” part.

Yixing shook head, but smiled fondly at his friend’s words nonetheless.

Evidently, the person who intended to buy the appliance, Luhan, got called last minute into work and Yixing had been Luhan’s good buddy since high school and since he “wasn’t doing much these days anyways”, Luhan sort of talked him into meeting up with the owner of the posting on Craigslist instead.

As Luhan chatted excitedly about how convenient it would be to be able to toast 6 slices of bread at once and how lucky he was to be able to find someone selling it online for a fraction of the price you’d get at retailers, Yixing surveyed down the hallway leading him even further into the church. He had hit a stairwell at the end of the long hallway and he still hasn’t seen a single person.

It was early afternoon on a Tuesday after all.

Yixing decided to venture down the stairs into the basement and quickly get this over with. He still had the daunting task of salvaging his band to get to.

“Oh shit,” Luhan’s voice had dropped into a frantic whisper. “Customer. Gotta bounce. I’ll text you.”

Just like that, Luhan was gone and Yixing was faced with the eerie silence of a church basement by himself.

Yixing strolled down the dimly lit and narrow hallway, sighing in relief when he passed by a room with its door wide open, revealing another person sitting at a desk facing the hallway.

“Excuse me?” Yixing stopped at the doorway.

The person at the desk looked up at the sound of Yixing’s voice, peering at him curiously with his almond-shaped eyes.

“I’m looking for a Minseok?” Yixing said hesitantly, “Kim Minseok?”

The person’s eyes lit up and his mouth spread open in a gummy smile. “That would be me.”

“Oh, thank God,” Yixing’s face relaxed into a smile. “I’m here in the place of Luhan. He said he’s already texted you about everything?”

“Oh yes!” Minseok nodded and turned around to pull an enormous tote bag from behind his desk. He handed Yixing the bag and laughed sheepishly. “To be honest, I didn’t think anybody would actually buy it.”

Yixing shook his head.

“There is honestly nothing Luhan wouldn’t buy.”

After paying Minseok the three hundred dollars he had listed for, Yixing bid goodbye to the stranger and stepped out into the hallway again, hauling the gigantic bag with him.

As he was remembering the direction of where he had come from, his senses were captivated by the soft melodies of a piano that resonated down the hall. Curious, Yixing found himself wandering towards the sound and stopped in front of a room with its door slightly ajar.

Someone was singing.

Yixing stood there, bag forgotten on the ground beside him, enamoured. The voice vaguely reminded Yixing of honey – sweet and soothing, invoking a jolt of pleasure down his spine as it slowly warmed up his body.

Yixing listened as the voice broke into a rendition of what Yixing recognized as The Beatles’ “All My Loving’”. Upon closer listening, the voice also somewhat resembled that of their vocalist’s (ex-vocalist now). The tone, the quality, and the steadiness – it fits in perfectly with how Yixing imagined the sound of their band to produce.

No, it was much more than what he imagined. The similarity was there, no doubt about it. But the feeling that it invoked was quite different. Yixing couldn’t exactly place his fingers on what. As the voice ascended in pitch, Yixing found himself smiling at the perfect falsetto.

Drawn to the music, Yixing must have been unconsciously leaning towards the door, as he was suddenly shaken out of his reverie by the squeak of the door as it swung open. Whoever was on the other side of the door must have also heard the noise as the piano playing suddenly stopped.

Cursing inwardly, Yixing quickly straightened up and raised his head to meet the gaze of the person in the room, the owner of the voice that Yixing was close to swooning over.

“Can I help you?”

Yixing cleared his throat. “Uh, yes. What’s your name?”

The occupant of the room seemed skeptical of Yixing, raising one of his perfectly straight eyebrows, but he still answered Yixing anyway.

“Kim Jongdae,” he answered, feline-like eyes fixated on Yixing’s.

Yixing did not imagine the face of the voice to be quite like this, although he couldn’t tell you exactly how he had imagined it to be, as he felt his whole brain had turned into a mush-like substance and couldn’t focus on anything but the prominence of Jongdae’s cheekbones or the curve of his lips at the moment. Yixing could feel his face slowly burning up as he is sure that his face must now be dusted with a good amount of pink. But he was determined. Gathering up his courage, Yixing straightened up even more and walked into the room, stopping right in front of Jongdae, who was still sitting in front of the piano.

“My name is Zhang Yixing,” he introduced himself. “I would like you to join my band.”

Jongdae was staring at Yixing with his brows furrowed. He pursed his lips in contempt and turned back to face the piano again.

“No thanks,”

Yixing was slightly taken aback. He was prepared for any initial hesitations or at least questions regarding his band. He hadn’t expected for such a straight-forwarded rejection to come from the singer right away.

As Yixing was standing there, thinking of ways to persuade him, Jongdae glanced at Yixing with a tilt of his head.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but is that all you wanted to ask?”

Before Yixing could plead some more, his moment with Jongdae was interrupted when someone else entered the room from behind Yixing.

“Whew, sorry I’m late. Had to clean up the music room ‘cause you wouldn’t believe what just happened—oh, hello,” The newcomer stopped in his tracks at the doorway when he spotted Yixing.

Jongdae greeted the stranger and looked at Yixing pointedly.

“He’s just just leaving,”

Taking his cue, Yixing sighed and was ready to admit defeat. For now, at least.

Yixing directed one last look at Jongdae, “Please, think about it.”

Jongdae’s companion looked back and forth between Yixing and Jongdae, confusion evident in his eyes.

“I’ll be back,” Yixing assured before finally stepping out of the room.

And true to his words (as he is a man who always keeps his promises after all), Yixing returned to the church a few days later. This time, catching Jongdae in the midst of practising with what appears to be a choir of the church.

There were a handful of people already occupying the pews in the audience, scattered idly around. Yixing took a seat not too close to the front but not too far where he can’t hear. He observed that the group up front consisted of around 15 people, all appeared to be quite young. They stood in a line, with Jongdae right smack in the middle. Yixing also recognized the person standing next to him to be the same person who interrupted them in the practice room a few days ago. Someone was up front, speaking to the group in a hushed tone, probably giving directions as the group’s attention were all focused on him, some nodding along to whatever he was saying. When he was done speaking, he made his way to the piano that was situated in the corner and began to play, with the group following suit in perfect harmonization.

Yixing recognized the song to be another one of The Beatles. As Yixing listened on to the choir’s version of “All You Need is Love,” even amidst the sea of voices, Jongdae’s voice still managed to stand out from the rest.

Jongdae stepped out to the front as his solo approached. His voice danced freely along to the background vocals, molding so perfectly with the melody. Yixing unconsciously leaned in, sitting closer to the edge of the pew as Jongdae’s voice climbed into another one of his falsettos that always sent Yixing to the edge. Yixing noted that Jongdae’s face wore a soft and barely noticeable smile, but Yixing could tell that at this moment, Jongdae felt truly happy about what he was doing.

When the song was over, the handful of people in the audience broke into an applause, Yixing included. The choir started their next number promptly after with another string of applause after they were done. The process repeated itself for a few times more before they called it a day and people began to trickle out of the room. Yixing did not want to lose another opportunity and quickly grabbed his jacket and made his way to the few people remaining in the choir.

“Oh, it’s you again,” was Jongdae’s greeting upon seeing Yixing. He wasn’t unpleasant about it, as he said it like he was simply stating a fact. But Yixing took his lack of contempt as a sign that maybe today he will be successful.

“Hi,” Yixing started, “you guys sound awesome.”

Jongdae responded with a small smile, “Thanks,”

Yixing decided to get to the point. “So, did you think about the offer?”

Jongdae shook his head. “I’m sorry, my answer is still the same.”

Yixing wasn’t ready to give up yet.

“Can I at least ask, ‘why’?”

“There is no ‘why’,” Jongdae shrugged and picked up a few sheets of music from the ground.

“At least give me a chance to persuade you.”

Jongdae bit the bottom of his lips as if he was playing with the idea in his mind.

“And how are you gonna do that?” He ended up challenging.

Yixing dug around his coat pocket until he found a few spares of business cards that Chanyeol had somehow convinced him to make when they established their band. He had reluctantly agreed to the idea, despite thinking how tacky it was. At this moment though, he was certainly glad that he did. On the card was the band’s name, BLACK PEARL, written in bold black ink. Underneath were the members’ names and positions, in addition to their main contact information (Yixing’s cellphone). Also taking a pen from his pocket, Yixing quickly scratched off the Vocalist: Jonghyun before handing the card over to Jongdae.

“Please,” Yixing poured every ounce of sincerity into his words. “This band means a lot to me. A lot to every one of us. I hope – we hope – that you will reconsider.”

Jongdae didn’t say anything but he accepted the card, which Yixing was grateful for.

“I’ll come here every day if I have to,”

“I won’t even be here every day,” Jongdae laughed, a string of melodious sounds that resembled chimes blowing in the wind. “But you’re still welcome to come though. Minseok hyung gets quite lonely here.”

Yixing was about to ask who Minkseok was when he suddenly remembered.

Oh right. Toaster guy.

“Anyway,” Jongdae interrupted Yixing’s thoughts. “I have to go. Thanks for always dropping by to listen, I guess?”

Jongdae turned to leave. Though, before he disappeared into the back room, Yixing cupped his hand around his mouth and belted out, “Everyday!” earning himself a few looks from the people remaining in the room.

Yixing could see Jongdae’s shoulders shake in laughter as he shook his head and disappeared behind the double doors.

Yixing walked out of the church with a newfound feeling of determination.

He took out his phone and dialed the manager of his band.

“Hyung, it’s me Yixing,” he spoke to the phone, “I found ourselves a new vocalist.”

He paused, listening to the manager’s ecstatic response.

“But I’m gonna have to ask you to reschedule our showcase.”

—☆—

“Have you gone insane?”

Yixing knew the news wouldn’t sit well with the rest of the members.

“We can’t reschedule, everything’s already been set.” Kyungsoo crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well, we’re kind of still missing a member, so sooner or later we’re gonna have to reschedule,” was Sehun’s reply.

Kyungsoo glared at the youngest member. “And whose fault was that?”

Sehun surrendered his arm up, defending himself.

“Hey, I thought we were already over that. I said I was sorry, alright?”

Yixing stepped in and placed a hand on Sehun’s shoulder.

“He’s right, we have more important things to worry about.”

Kyungsoo remained silent but it was obvious that he was still feeling sour about the whole turn of events.

“Hyung, why are you so set on rescheduling anyways?” Chanyeol asked.

“I found a vocalist,” Yixing announced to the group, who all immediately went still in shock before Chanyeol broke the silence with a loud and excited “no way!”

“So why reschedule then?” Sehun was confused.

“Well, he hasn’t exactly agreed to it,” Yixing replied sheepishly, earning himself another glare from Kyungsoo.

“So you haven’t found a vocalist then,” Kyungsoo corrected Yixing.

“No, no,” Yixing shook his head, “he will become our vocalist. I’ll make sure he does.”

“What if he never does?” Chanyeol’s brows were down turned in worry. This look really didn’t suit him, Yixing decided, as his face was always molded into a wide smile. He didn’t earn the name Happy Virus from his fans for nothing.

Yixing patted Chanyeol on the back.

“Don’t worry, I will make sure he does,” Yixing then added, “I promise.”

This effectively eliminated any doubts that the rest of the band initially harboured. After all, if Yixing promised that he would do something, you bet your ass that he will do it. That was one of the reasons why the group had developed such deep respect for Yixing over the past few years. Yixing always meant what he said and he will always say what he meant. He will give his all for something once he had his eyes set on a goal. And right now, Yixing was dead set on having Jongdae join the rest of them.

The door to their practice room slid open and their manager stepped in, with a few stacks of papers in his hands.

“Hello, boys,” He entered the room bringing in his perky self.

“Junmyeon hyung!” Chanyeol greeted enthusiastically and the rest of the members each followed suit with their own greetings.

“Well, I did it,” Junmyeon stated, looking at Yixing with a small smile. “I don’t know how, but I’ve managed to move the date of the showcase.”

Yixing could feel relief flood every inch of his body.

“Thank you, hyung,” and he meant it. He’s owed Junmyeon for everything he’s done for him and for that, he was forever grateful.

“But,” Junmyeon’s smile widened, “you guys are going to need to do some damage control in regards to your fans. I’m sure they were all anticipating your debut in a few days.”

They all groaned.

Having been indie and playing in pubs and coffee shops for the past few years, they had acquired quite a fan base. Although it was in no way comparable to the fan clubs of big idol groups, but it was enough to satisfy their drive and keep them going. They had all received comments from fans on the videos they post occasionally on YouTube, all sharing their excitement at their upcoming showcase where they would be formally introduced to the world as BLACK PEARL, as a rock band.

Knowing their excitement, it would no doubt crush some of their hearts having to announce the delay.

Whatever it took for Jongdae to join their band, Yixing decided.

If delaying their much anticipated debut would buy him more time to convey his feelings to Jongdae, then so be it.

“Well,” Yixing faced his bandmates with a wide smile, “who’s going to help me brainstorm for ideas?”

—☆—

“Hey,” Baekhyun whispered from beside Jongdae as they were waiting for the remaining members of the choir to show up for practice. “He’s here again.”

Jongdae didn’t need to look at the audience to know who Baekhyun was referring to. The man, Yixing as he had learned during their first meeting, had frequented his choir practice very much true to his words. He had been skeptical of the strange man at first, because seriously, who goes around asking strangers to join his band? But his dedication had grown on Jongdae and at this point, he was actually kind of flattered that someone was willing to go this far just to recruit him for something.

Or he was actually a serial killer, and he was only baiting Jongdae so he could become his next catch to include in his collection or something.

“Seriously though,” Baekhyun continued on, “he’s been here every time we had practice. Why don’t you listen to what he has to say?”

“Baek, I’m not joining his band.”

“Well, why not?”

“Because,” Jongdae began but found himself not able to give a real reason why. He knew that whatever excuses he give, Baekhyun will be be able to call him out on it. “I’m just not, okay?”

Baekhyun looked at Jongdae, with a hint of pity in his eyes. Jongdae knew that he wasn’t doing it intentionally, but he still hated it whenever Baekhyun looked at Jongdae as if he was looking at a small child.

“Is this about your parents?”

“No, it’s not about my parents,” Jongdae snapped defensively, “I’m not joining his stupid band, end of story.”

Jongdae turned away from his friend and was glad that the choir lead stepped onto the stage to signal the start of practice. The rest of practice went smooth, but Jongdae felt that his entire mood had dampened. He didn’t even stay around for Yixing to approach him, like he always did, and instead briskly walked off to the back to gather his belongings.

When Jongdae arrived home after practice, he found his mother busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. When she heard Jongdae enter the kitchen, she looked up from whatever she was cooking to greet him.

“Jongdae, dear, how was practice?”

“It went well,” Jongdae replied while rummaging the fridge for something cold to drink.

“That’s good to hear,” was his mother’s response and she went back to stirring the pot. “I invited Mrs. Shon and her family to the event at the church, so they will be able to see you perform.”

Jongdae frowned, “you didn’t have to.”

His mother simply waved him off.

“Nonesense, you worked so hard for it, you should be proud to show it off.”

Jongdae did not say anything more.

“Oh yes, I just remembered,” his mother continued on, “I spoke with your father today. He was able to get you a position at his company. You should be able to start in two weeks.”

“Mom, I’ve already told you, I don’t want to work at Dad’s,”

As always, his mother brushed off what Jongdae had to say.

“Jongdae, you’re not a child anymore. You’re a university graduate. Your next step is to secure a stable job and step into society as a respectable adult. It’s time that you start behaving like one.”

Jongdae remained silent. Over the years, he’s learned that it was the best way to handle his parents’ overbearing nature. As he made his way out of the kitchen and upstairs into his room, his mother reminded him that dinner would be ready soon.

In his room, Jongdae settled his bag down on the floor and flopped onto his bed.

He knew he was probably acting like some rebellious teenager, going through angst and complaining how terrible his life was when he’s had everything he wanted in life. But it came at the price of living under his parents’ absolute governance. Ever since he was small, he’s done everything his parents had wanted him to do, from the courses he took in school to the extracurricular activities he’d participate in – whatever his parents deemed to be “acceptable in society” or from what Jongdae saw, “whatever his parents could brag to their friends and neighbours about”.

Hell, he even chose his major in university under the influence (mandate) of his parents. Business and management never interested Jongdae and probably never will. But alas, he’s undergone the gruelling four years of dealing with terms he did not understand and written exams about content he’s already forgotten, only to emerge with a piece of paper declaring that he has a degree for something he has zero passion in.

He was lucky that his interest in singing had coincided with his family’s association with the church, as he was able to join the gospel choir with the support of his parents. But of course, it was just a hobby – or as his Dad had said, “something to build his character”. Their parents would never in a million years support Jongdae’s desire to pursue singing as a career.

As Jongdae was moping around about his uncertainties for his future, his eyes fell onto the piece of paper lying on his nightstand.

It was the business card that Yixing had handed to him many practices ago.

Jongdae reached out and held the card in his hand.

It was so tacky Jongdae wanted to laugh.

But something about Yixing and how sincere he was about his passion made Jongdae still keep the card, despite claiming that he was not interested.

That was a few weeks ago.

Jongdae remembered Yixing at practice today. He had sat in the front, instead of in the middle where he first saw him. Jongdae’ gaze had accidentally fell onto his when they were practising, and Yixing’s eyes were fixated right on Jongdae. The intensity of his stare was strong enough for Jongdae to quickly avert his eyes elsewhere.

Examining the card closely, Jongdae saw that the Vocalist: Jonghyun part was scratched out. It made him wonder what had happened to the band’s previous vocalist and why Yixing was so desperate to recruit another one. And why specifically him.

Whatever the reason was, all Jongdae could think about at the moment was how genuine Yixing was when he pleaded his case to Jongdae and his will to work towards his passion.

Honestly, it kind of pissed Jongdae off.

Or maybe he was envious.

Jongdae turned his body so he was lying flat on his bed. He stared at his ceiling and his mind drifted off to a place where he was free to do whatever he pleased without the consequences of his parents.

His mother’s call for Jongdae to come downstairs for dinner pulled him back to reality, and it reminded him that he was still due to work for his father and probably live the rest of his life under the control of his parents.

Jongdae looked at the business card again and immersed himself in deep thought.

—☆—

“Sehun ah,” Yixing could feel himself growing weary by the minute, “think of something else. We’re not going to film ourselves stripping to Justin Timberlake’s ‘Sexy Back’.”

Sehun pouted but did not argue back.

“Oh, thank God,” Yixing heard Kyungsoo murmur. He was massaging his temples gently, hoping to alleviate the headache he was experiencing. He was making no progress with Jongdae and now he had the impending fiasco regarding their fan base to worry about.

They had just announced on their Facebook page that their showcase would be pushed back until one month later. As expected, many fans expressed their sorrow at the news but promised that they would still support the band. In order to salvage their fan base and undergo “damage control”, as Junmyeon had put it, they announced for the fans to tune in to “something special” in the upcoming weeks prior to their showcase, hoping that it would be enough to still keep the fans interested in the month to come.

The only thing is, they still have no idea what that “something special” is yet.

But the mysterious vibe behind the announcement was keeping the fans speculating and at the very least, still interested in them.

“Oh, I know!” Chanyeol clapped his hand, sending the sound echoing throughout the room.

Yixing directed his attention to Chanyeol, prompting him to continue.

“Why don’t we do a fan meeting of sorts?” Chanyeol suggested, “It doesn’t even need to be big…it could be like a small party even, with our fans?”

Yixing hummed, nodding along to Chanyeol’s idea. It had been the most doable idea tonight.

“Don’t you sort of need to be well-established before doing a fan meeting?” Sehun questioned.

“Well, not necessarily…” Chanyeol replied, “We don’t even need to call it that. Kind of like a meet and greet? Just to have a more intimate connection with the fans before we officially become a thing?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Yixing patted Chanyeol on the shoulder. “Though we will probably need to figure out the logistics for some things…but not a bad idea at all.” Yixing smiled reassuringly at Chanyeol, who beamed back eagerly.

Sehun groaned and rubbed his eyes, “This is all such a pain. We would never be in this position if I didn’t fuck up and scrapped our main vocal.”

Yixing frowned, “Hey, hey. I thought we weren’t bringing that up anymore. It’s a thing of the past now.”

Sehun’s gaze was directed at the floor, “But it’s all my fault –”

Yixing shook his head.

“Sehun, it’s honestly not your fault. You didn’t know. I know I got angry at you in the beginning and I’m sorry. But just remember, it’s not your fault.”

Sehun nodded weakly and didn’t say anything more.

To fill in the silence, Kyungsoo spoke up.

“Speaking of vocalists, how is it going with your mission?”

Hearing this, Yixing sighed.

“I’m still working on it.”

“Why are you so dead set on this person anyways?” Chanyeol frowned, not being able to stand seeing his beloved hyung looking so distressed.

Yixing couldn’t really explain. There was something about Jongdae that just drew him in. Yixing convinced himself that it was his vocals that he was after, but after sitting in on a few of his practices and exchanging friendly conversations later, Yixing was starting to doubt himself and wonder if there was more to Jongdae that attracted Yixing.

“It has to be him,” was Yixing’s reply, which only puzzled the members even more, but they didn’t question him further because they placed the utmost trust in him.

“Anyway, it’s getting late,” Yixing glanced at the clock on the wall. “Get home, get some rest. We’ll figure the rest out tomorrow.”

Everyone got up from their positions on the wooden floor, grabbed their belongings and bid goodbye to Yixing before they headed out the door.

Kyungsoo stopped at the doorway and looked back at Yixing.

“Are you leaving soon, hyung?”

“Yeah, I just gotta do some stuff and I’ll head out soon.”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“Don’t work yourself too hard.”

Yixing smiled fondly at the younger boy.

“Yes, sir.”

When Kyungsoo left, Yixing basked in the silence and retrieved his acoustic guitar from its case. He strummed a few random chords as a warm up and out of habit, found himself playing the intro chords to the song he was currently writing.

He randomly got the inspiration to start composing this song one night, but later found that he could not properly finish it. As Yixing started to hum along to the tune, he cursed his own mediocre vocal range that prohibited him from fully exhibiting the meaning he wanted. He continued to strum along and wrote down the changes that he made and soon he was lost in his own musical world again.

It was only when his phone buzzed and the ringtone notified Yixing of a new text message that he stopped playing and swiped his phone open to check.

It was from an unknown number.

hi this is jongdae. where did you say you guys practice again?

Yixing’s eyes instantly widened and he suddenly felt 100 times more awake.

Intead of replying to Jongdae through text message, Yixing opted to speak to him and pressed the ‘call’ button next to the unknown number.

Jongdae obviously must have not expected for Yixing to be still awake, or at least, call him, as he picked up the phone with slight caution.

“…Hello?”

“Hi, Jongdae? It’s Yixing,” Yixing was grinning now. “I just got your text. So you changed your mind?”

“Well, no,” Jongdae was hesitant. “I – I uh, just, I wanted to see how your band was, if you had a band. I mean, you could have honestly lied about the whole thing and was trying to sell me off to Europe for all I know.” Jongdae rambled on.

But Yixing listened to it with a ridiculously big smile on his face.

“Okay, okay. You’ll come to one of our practice sessions then? Instead of me going to you this time.” Yixing laughed.

“Right,” Jongdae replied. “So, um, when and where?”

“Whatever works best for you,” Yixing said to the receiver. “Pick a date and we’ll be ready for you.”

There was a pause and then Jongdae suggested, “Tuesday afternoon?”

Yixing will probably have to change his shift at the coffee shop that he’s recently started to work in, but it was feasible. He made a mental note to call Yifan about the shift change tomorrow morning.

“Sure, that’s perfect.” Yixing then added, “I’ll text you the address later.”

“This doesn’t mean I’m going to join your band or anything,” Jongdae added in quickly.

“Okay, I understand,” Yixing was still grinning.

“I’m also not agreeing to anything, just to make it clear right now,”

“Yes, that’s fine,”

“Well, okay. See you then, I guess,”

Yixing couldn’t help but feel giddy as he almost sighed into his phone, “See you then, Jongdae. Good night.”

“Good night, Yixing.”

—☆—

Tuesday afternoon, their practice room was buzzing with excitement. Yixing had relayed the news to the rest of the band beforehand, who all became very eager to meet the person that Yixing was so determined to win over.

“He must really be something for Yixing hyung to be so enraptured,” Chanyeol commented when he was setting up his drumming equipment.

Sehun agreed, “Honestly, with the way hyung was praising him, you’d think he was some kind of God or something,”

“He better be worth all the trouble,” Kyungsoo said, not looking up from tuning his bass.

Yixing reassured everyone and they fell into their usual practice routine, with Yixing and Kyungsoo trying their best to fill in the vocal parts.

They were so into the music that they didn’t hear the sound of someone knocking on the door. It was only when the door to the practice room slid open that they stopped playing to look at the intruders.

Yixing’s face automatically lit up in recognition and he walked over to the entranceway.

“Jongdae! You’re here,”

However, the group still had no idea who Jongdae was, as there were two figures, standing close together at the doorway. Their curiosities were soon satisfied when the boy with a darker shade of brown hair smiled uncertainly at Yixing.

“Hi…I brought along Baekhyun, I hope you don’t mind?”

“Not at all! Come on in,” Yixing gestured for the two to step into the room.

Jongdae entered the room, eyes glancing around the room shyly, whereas Baekhyun’s face was scrunched in distaste as his eyes examined the room, no doubt mildly offended at how cramped the room was and the sketchiness of the entire building.

“Guys, this is Jongdae and his friend Baekhyun,” Yixing briefly introduced the two and turned to face Jongdae and Baekhyun, “and this is our band, BLACK PEARL.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jongdae bowed politely, Baekhyun following suit. The band in return also bowed and murmured their greetings, with Chanyeol barely containing in his excitement. Yixing then went ahead to introduce each member and the instruments they play.

“And we’re actually in the middle of practice right now,” Yixing explained, “So make yourselves comfortable and we’ll play a few verse for you guys.”

Jongdae nodded and tugged Baekhyun along to two chairs in the corner of the room.

The bassist, or as Yixing had introduced earlier, Kyungsoo, started the song off with deep and steady rhythms. Yixing freely sang out the intro verse and soon after, Chanyeol joined in to provide the song with structure and to keep it in place. Finally, Sehun jumped in with his guitar, adding more essence to the song as Yixing’s sweet voice filled in the void. Jongdae soon found himself becoming mesmerized by the sounds and nodded along to the rhythm.

When the band finished playing, Jongdae clapped along with Baekhyun.

“What’s the song called?” Jongdae was curious.

Yixing grinned, “Black Pearl,”

Sitting beside Jongdae, Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.

“You named a song…after your band?”

Chanyeol barked out a laugh while Yixing gave an embarrassed chuckle.

“We thought it’d be kind of meaningful, you know?”

Jongdae couldn’t help but laugh at how sheepish Yixing looked.

“So, what do you think?”

“You guys sound good,” And Jongdae meant it.

Yixing bit his lower lip and shook his head. “It’s not quite what we’re looking for yet,” he sighed and lowered his guitar.

“What do you mean?”

“He means it’s still lacking something and we’re not really sure what,” Sehun grumbled and perched himself onto a stool.

“And I can never seem to hit that high note in the bridge,”

Jongdae wasn’t sure of what to say. He thought they had sounded pretty good. More than pretty good. But then again, what does he know.

“Why don’t you try it?” Baekhyun suggested and nudged Jongdae with his elbow.

Yixing perked up at Baekhyun’s proposal.

“Oh, I’m not…” Jongdae began to say but he was quickly interrupted by Baekhyun.

“Come on, Dae, we both know you can slay those high notes,” Baekhyun encouraged Jongdae with a smile. Though Jongdae was hesitant on singing in a roomful of strange people (minus Baekhyun and Yixing), the expectant looks that everyone was giving him right now made it hard for him to turn down the offer without looking like a jerk.

“Fine,” Jongdae sighed and made a move towards Yixing, “do you have the music?”

“Right here,” Kyungsoo spoke up from behind Yixing and handed Jongdae a few sheets of paper, to which Jongdae mumbled a “thanks” before quickly scanning through them.

It didn’t look too hard. He was obviously not going to get it perfectly on his first try, but Jongdae was confident that he could make out the gist of the song at least.

Once he was ready, the band dove right into the song once again. This time, instead of Yixing singing, Jongdae freely ad-libbed the beginning, throwing in notes that he deemed appropriate.

Jongdae followed along with the sheet music as closely as he could, making a few mistakes here and there. He belted out the chorus with practiced ease and as the band continued to play and build up the climax before the bridge, Jongdae prepared himself for the note, unconsciously chewing on the bottom of his lips.

Jongdae could feel himself being submerged in the music as he opened his mouth to unleash the high notes in the bridge, adding in his own colour towards the end, bringing the melodies alive. He had been fully focused on reading the sheet music, he didn’t notice that Yixing’s eyes were fixated on him during the entire song. They finished with a bang – quite literally as Chanyeol took the liberty and improvised the beats for the end, bringing the song to a perfect finale.

Once they were done, Jongdae found himself panting slightly at the exertion. He didn’t realize singing could take so much energy from him. Nevertheless, the remnant of the adrenaline that had built up inside of him during the song was making his head abuzz with excitement and he turned to catch the gaze of Yixing, and they both shared a brief smile.

Baekhyun shot up from his seat and bounced over to Jongdae to lock him in a tight embrace.

“Dude, that was incredible!”

When he pulled back, he looked at Jongdae with his eyes practically sparkling in awe.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,”

“Yeah, that was awesome!” Chanyeol agreed, stepping to clap Jongdae on the shoulder.

Everyone else in the room also seemed to like Jongdae’s performance, as he even spotted Kyungsoo nodding along to the praise that he was receiving. Jongdae felt a little embarrassed at the sudden attention he was receiving. He glanced over to Yixing, who was still standing in his spot but his face was illuminated by a gentle smile, showcasing off his dimple that Jongdae never realized was there.

“Thank you,” Jongdae managed to get out, still feeling a little caught up with the surge in emotions.

“You have to sing for us, Jongdae hyung,” Sehun said to Jongdae, with an earnest expression that surprised even Yixing.

Jongdae on the other hand was feeling slightly flustered.

“I-I don’t know,” Jongdae stammered, unsure of what to say. He could tell that these guys were one-hundred percent serious about what they do. He didn’t want to agree to join something out of a whim when he is not full committed to it.

Yixing sensed Jongdae’s hesitance and stepped into the conversation.

“You don’t have to decide right away, but please think about it,”

Jongdae stared at Yixing and nodded, the gears in his brain spinning away rapidly. So much has happened all at once. He needed time to think.

In the end, Jongdae and Baekhyun left the practice room much to the chagrin of the band members. Chanyeol had groaned loudly from his position at the drums, complaining that they were “so close!” to which Kyungsoo shook his head and reprimanded him for.

“Nothing is definitive yet. Don’t lose hope so early.”

Kyungsoo then glanced at Yixing, who was left staring at the door and appeared to be lost in thought.

“What happened to ‘making sure he joins the band at all costs’?” Kyungsoo was curious.

Yixing could only shake his head at Kyungsoo’s question.

“He’s experienced the band firsthand for himself. I’ve done all I could do,” Yixing took off the guitar strap that was wrapped around his neck and placed his guitar in its case. “What’s next is up to him.”

Kyungsoo nodded, satisfied with his answer.

“There are things that even I cannot control,” Yixing laughed, but it sounded bitter in Kyungsoo’s ears.

—☆—

Jongdae was conflicted.

The date in which he was supposed to become the newest employee of his father’s company was fast approaching, but all that his mind could focus on was the exhilaration he felt singing with Yixing’s band. Ever since he left the dingy practice room with Baekhyun, Jongdae’s mind would always wander back to the music and he would try to recreate the same feeling he felt on that day. He would also catch himself humming unconsciously along to the tune of ‘Black Pearl’ at times.

He would lay in bed at night, wide awake, thinking about the ‘what if’s and creating scenarios in his mind in which he became a rock star and gained his own groupies.

It was like an obsession.

Or, at least that’s what Baekhyun told him. And Jongdae scoffed at the idea because Kim Jongdae does not become obsessed.

Regardless, Jongdae was caught in between the fantasy world where he was free to express himself through singing, and the reality of having to live under his parents’ totalitarian governance. He’s been debating with himself for the past few days on the two options.

Option one would be to work at his Dad’s, get paid a decent amount of money, and earn enough so he could move out into his own place. He would eventually work his way up in ranks at the company, get married (to some girl his parents picked out no doubt), have kids, and live a fairly normal life. Boring, yes, but stable.

And the riskier option, was to join Yixing’s band, maybe make it big in the industry and most likely face the consequences of his parents’ disownment.

The logical side of Jongdae was screaming at him to pick option one. And he somewhat agreed with his logical side because it seemed like the smart thing to do.

But another side of Jongdae, his perhaps rebellious and somewhat still stuck in his teenage years side was itching to join Yixing’s band because when had he ever chosen something for himself?

This back-and-forth debate and internal monologue has been keeping Jongdae occupied for the past few days and he hasn’t contacted Yixing ever since. He knew he was putting things off and he had to make a decision soon. His time to deliberate on the two options were cut short however, when his father came home for dinner one night.

Now, his father was a busy man, with being an executive director at an advertising agency he hardly had time to sit down for dinner with his family. Usually, dinner time consisted of just Jongdae and his mom, since his older brother now lived with his wife at another city.

So it was a rare site for Jongdae when he saw his father present at the dinner table one night.

“Jongdae,” his father greeted him when he took a seat opposite of him at the table.

“Hi Dad, you’re home today,” Jongdae stated, surprise evident in his voice.

His dad laughed.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you, I was worried you wouldn’t recognize me,” His Dad joked.

Jongdae’s mom placed the last dish onto the table and chided, “Of course he won’t forget you, dear,”

They soon fell into a conversation over dinner. Jongdae’s Dad briefly shared some details over his work and the clients they have signed with recently. Jongdae kept silent, only nodding along to the conversation.

His Dad inevitably brought up a topic that Jongdae had been dreading to hear. 

“So, I spoke with H.R. today,” his Dad said over a mouthful of rice, “all the paperwork’s been filled and you can report to reception on Monday, ready for your first day.”

Jongdae chewed on his food and only nodded.

His Mom gushed from beside his Dad, “Isn’t that wonderful, Jongdae?”

Both of his parents went on to remark their excitement at Jongdae’s new chapter in life, not noticing his lack of enthusiasm.

When dinner was over and his Mom was washing the dishes, Jongdae sat with his Dad on the couch in the living room, for some ‘bonding time between father and son’ at the suggestion of his Mom.

The 8 o’ clock news was on TV and the two of them sat in silence, faces glued to the screen.

When the commercial break was on, Jongdae decided to chance it with his Dad.

“Hey Dad,” Jongdae began, carefully choosing his next words.

“Yeah?” His father replied, not taking his eyes off the television.

“What if…what if I were to say, only hypothetically speaking of course, that I…wanted to become a singer?”

His father turned to look at him, face wrinkled in confusion, which can’t be a good sign really.

“What brings this up?”

“Nothing, I’m just…wondering, I guess,” Jongdae quickly added.

His father paused and continued to look at Jongdae in the eyes.

“Jongdae, are you unhappy with the decision of you working at my company?”

“What? No, no, of course not…” Jongdae trailed off, “I mean–”

“Son, I only want what’s the best for you,” his Dad stated, looking very serious all of a sudden.

“I know,” was all Jongdae said. He was beginning to regret bringing this up now. “I just thought that maybe I wanted to try doing something…I don’t know…something that I like doing.”

“You don’t like business?”

“Well, it’s okay, it’s just not something I’m passionate about,”

His Dad laughed.

“Passion isn’t going to pay the bills,”

When Jongdae was silent, his Dad continued on to give him the whole lecture of the importance of a secure and stable job in this economy.

“Not everybody is as lucky as you are, Jongdae, having this opportunity presented to you right after university. Do you know how many young and qualified university graduates are out there right now, who still can’t find jobs?” His Dad shook his head, “You’re in a position where so many other people would love to be in.”

Jongdae muttered, “Maybe you should give it to them then, I’m sure they’d appreciate it more,”

His Dad frowned.

“What’s the matter with you, suddenly being all like this?”

“I’m just saying, maybe I wanted to go out there and make a name for myself. Maybe I wanted to for once pursue something that I’m passionate about.”

“Oh, and what exactly is that?”

Jongdae hesitated for a bit, contemplating on whether or not to tell his dad.

“I was…I was scouted to join a band,”

His father scoffed but Jongdae continued to go on.

“I really like to sing, and – and I’m really good at it, too.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,”

And there it was again. The condescending tone that his parents used whenever they would brush him off when he presented with an idea that went against their own. Jongdae balled his hands into fists and could feel his whole body stiffen as the anger was slowly building up.

“Kids these days are too naïve; thinking that they could drop everything to chase a dream based on something they’re slightly good at, only to change their minds once they become penniless and starving on the streets. I’m telling you this now: the arts is an unreliable field. The chances of you making it big is only so small. I’m just looking out for you, son.”

The image of Yixing’s band appeared in Jongdae’s mind. They were around Jongdae’s age and just a bunch of kids as well, all throwing their entire lives into building something together. No doubt they had to make a lot of sacrifices to get to where they were today, and definitely even more sacrifices in the future. But they had looked so happy. Maybe Jongdae wanted to try what that was like. Call him naïve, idealistic or even just pure stupid, but Jongdae wanted to break free for once and truly experience what it was like to live.

Apprently his Dad still hasn’t had enough and took Jongdae’s silence as a sign to continue on.

“Anyway, what’s gotten in to you recently? Has that Baekhyun kid been giving you ideas?”

Hearing his friend’s name, Jongdae became defensive and sprang up from his seat.

“Leave him out of this,” Jongdae said through gritted teeth.

He words must have come out a bit harsher than he intended to as his Dad also stood up from his seat on the couch, “Don’t speak to me in that tone,”

“What’s going on?”

His Mom stepped into the living room, wearing a concerned look on her face.

His Dad shook his head dismissively.

All of a sudden, the emotions he’d be suppressing for all these years poured over the brim and he exploded at his parents with the fury he didn’t realize he had.

“I just want to, for once, for you guys to take me seriously,” Jongdae started, eyes stinging with tears that were threatening to emerge. “You always tell me to ‘grow up’ and ‘be an adult’, but how can I do that when you are practically spoon feeding me every step of the way and forcing me into your definition of success.”

His parents looked like they wanted to say something, especially his Mom, who was looking like she didn’t recognize him. But he wasn’t done yet.

“I’m not going to work for Dad’s at a job I know I will hate for the rest of my life,”

With that, Jongdae brushed past by his parents and headed towards the front door.

“I’m done. I’m done playing the puppet.”

He stormed out of the house, with his father yelling incoherent words after him.

Once he was outside in the cold November air, Jongdae could feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

Well, he’s done it.

The words he’d been holding back ever since he was old enough to understand what his parents were doing. And as awful as he was feeling at the moment, it was also somewhat liberating. Like a huge load was off his shoulder now.

He kept on walking, with the cool air brushing his face and keeping his head cool. Until he realized he didn’t have his phone on him (or a jacket), but at least he still had his wallet in his jean pocket. He didn’t want to bother Baekhyun, whom he knew had an exam first thing in the morning, but he didn’t know where else to go.

Without much choice, Jongdae decided to walk towards the subway station and take his chance.

—☆—

It was another practice session that lasted well into the night.

Yixing decided it was time to call it a night but when he was met with protests from his bandmates, he sighed in defeat and announced for a 20-minute break instead. So now he was standing outside of the building in which their little practice room was in, leaning against the brick wall and breathing in the crisp night air. He was about to light up the cigarette in his hand when he looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching him.

“Jongdae?”

And sure enough, underneath the dim streetlight and standing before him was Jongdae, without a jacket and looking quite uncertain.

“Hi,” was all he said.

Yixing’s eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had nowhere else to go,” Jongdae shrugged, “I guess I just ended up here.”

“Nowhere else to go?” Yixing echoed, concern filling in him by the minute. “What happened?”

Jongdae sighed miserably, “It’s a long story.”

Even under the dim lighting, Yixing could tell that the brim around Jongdae’s eyes were red and slightly puffy. He looked so small standing there in the cold, shivering slightly in his thin sweater. Yixing wanted to give Jongdae a big hug, but he didn’t want to scare him away by violating his personal space when they’ve only just met.

Instead of asking for more, Yixing took off his own jacket and handed it to Jongdae. Jongdae just looked at Yixing and made no move to take it.

“But you’re going to be cold,”

Not taking Jongdae’s protests as an answer, Yixing stepped closer to Jongdae and draped the jacket over his shoulders.

“It’s quite chilly at night, don’t want you to catch a cold.” Yixing smiled at Jongdae, who remained silent and eased into the warmth of Yixing’s jacket.

“Thank you,”

“Don’t mention it,” Yixing said as he tucked away his cigarette and lighter into his back pocket. It just seemed rude to be smoking when it was clear Jongdae had a story to tell. And he didn’t want to inflict any second-hand smoking on him.

“Are you okay though?” Yixing tried instead, knowing that Jongdae might not be ready to tell him everything yet.

Jongdae nodded.

After a pause, Jongdae spoke up.

“I want to join your band,”

Yixing’s eyes widened at the announcement.

“You’re serious? You’re not playing me right?”

His incredulous face must have been quite entertaining as it earned a soft chuckle from Jongdae. Yixing could feel his own face soften into a smile as he was observing Jongdae’s laughing face. He decided he liked Jongdae much better like this.

“I’m one-hundred percent serious,” Jongdae confirmed.

Yixing made a show to pinch his arm.

“Ow!” When the pain radiated down his limb, Yixing was sure he was not dreaming this time.

Because, yes, he had dreamed about this moment as ashamed as he would admit.

Jongdae laughed louder this time, shoulders shaking as the sounds escaped his mouth.

Yixing really liked his laugh.

“Not that I’m being unappreciative or anything – trust me, this is the best news I’ve heard in a while – but why the change of heart?”

Jongdae sighed and decided to tell Yixing an abridged version of the story regarding his disagreement with his father and pretty much the events that led up to it. Yixing stood there facing Jongdae, taking in everything that Jongdae said.

After Jongdae was all done, Yixing nodded, “Maybe your Dad is right,”

Jongdae stared at Yixing incredulously.

“Aren’t you supposed to give me the whole talk about ‘working hard to chase your dreams’ and ‘living life bound by passion’, or something?”

Yixing laughed, “Jongdae, you know yourself better than anybody else. I’m in no position to be telling you what to do.”

When Jongdae was about to say something in response to that, a head poked out of the front door, calling for Yixing.

“Hyung, you said 20 minutes so I – oh, Jongdae is that you?”

Chanyeol’s usual smile was replaced by a frown as he looked at Jongdae in confusion.

“Hi Chanyeol,” Jongdae greeted him.

“Oh has it been 20 minutes already?” Yixing then glanced at Jongdae, “Let’s go in, it’s cold outside.”

So they climbed a flight of narrow and rickety stairs to reach their usual practice room on the second floor. Once inside, Jongdae saw that it was occupied by the rest of the band members and a new face in which Jongdae did not recognize.

The looks of surprise on Kyungsoo and Sehun’s faces when Jongdae also entered the room along with Yixing and Chanyeol were so well synchronized that it was kind of remarkable.

“Jongdae?”

“Jongdae hyung?”

“Hi,” Jongdae greeted lamely.

“You must be Jongdae then,” The person Jongdae didn’t recognize stepped in front of him and extended his hand towards him. “I’m Junmyeon, the band’s manager. It’s very nice to meet you finally.”

Jongdae took Junmyeon’s hand and also bowed politely in response.

“So what brings you here so late, Jongdae hyung?”

Jongdae glanced at Yixing, who smiled and nodded at him in encouragement, and shared the news.

“I’ve decided to join you guys,” Jongdae began, “I want to join BLACK PEARL.”

For a minute, the room was silent as the occupants all stared at Jongdae in awe. Jongdae wished he had his phone with him because he could’ve taken a picture of their reactions and it would’ve made great stories for the future.

Junmyeon was first to break the silence and congratulated the band with a blinding smile, “That’s wonderful news!”

Chanyeol then bounced along towards Jongdae, engulfing him in a bone-crushing hug. When he pulled back he looked at Jongdae with practically stars in his eyes. Jongdae could almost make out the ears and the wagging tail.

“Welcome to the family!”

Chanyeol brought Jongdae in for another hug, this time also bringing Yixing in, which left Jongdae sandwiched between the two. He could feel warmth surround him as Yixing brought his arms over Jongdae and onto Chanyeol, completing the hug.

“Woohooo!”

Sehun then joined in on the group hug, adding onto the weight.

“Come on, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae heard Yixing say.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo then begrudgingly walked over and placed his arms over Chanyeol and Sehun.

“Hyung, you too,”

Junmyeon laughed and encircled the group.

Inside of it all, Jongdae was warm and protected.

When they all dispersed from the embrace, Junmyeon grabbed his jacket and bag.

“Alright, let’s go celebrate! Dinner’s on me,”

“Hyung you’re the best!”

Beside him, Yixing laughed. Jongdae, feeling weightless, looked at Yixing and laughed too.

Over dinner, which was at a hole-in-the-wall establishment that still catered to hungry customers at this time, the band chatted animatedly about their future as BLACK PEARL. Jongdae listened on with enthusiasm, feeling, for the first time, excitement for his future.

They discussed what to do for the upcoming pre-showcase broadcast, which was basically going to be a video introducing Jongdae as the new member and vocalist of the group. A new practice schedule was also devised to include Jongdae. He was also going to need to learn all of their existing songs.

When dinner was over, the group went their separate ways. Soon, it was just Yixing and Jongdae standing in front of the restaurant out on the empty street.

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Yixing asked.

Jongdae looked down at the pavement, “I don’t want to go back home yet,”

“I see,”

“But I don’t have anywhere else I could go,” Jongdae sighed and after a pause, “Maybe I should go back.”

“You can stay over at my place,” Yixing offered.

“Really? A-are you sure? Because I don’t want to be a bother…” he trailed off.

Yixing looked at Jongdae in the eyes and smiled, “Jongdae, you’ll never be a bother to me,”

Jongdae smiled back and the two walked toward Yixing’s apartment, which was conveniently located only 10-minute away. Jongdae felt bad for still wearing Yixing’s jacket, which he had insisted on Jongdae take, stating that he had a thick top on and didn’t need it.

Soon they reached Yixing’s apartment building, which had probably seen better days.

“It’s not the greatest to look at, but it gets the job done,” Yixing grinned at him.

“It’s perfect,” Jongdae sighed as he stepped into the warmth.

Yixing then insisted Jongdae take a shower first and lent him some of his clothes as pajamas and gave him a towel to use.

Jongdae groaned as he took all of the stuff from Yixing, “Seriously, Yixing, you’re too good to me,”

Yixing laughed and shooed him into the bathroom.

Standing underneath the hot water, Jongdae scrubbed himself clean and reflected on the events that took place today. So much had happened. Less than 24 hours ago he was still in the comfort of his own home, playing the part of a perfect son to his parents. Now, he was vocalist of an up-and-coming rock band, showering at the house of a person he’s met less than a month ago, and pretty much on the brim of disownment by his parents.

The absurdity was almost laughable.

Jongdae stepped out of the bathroom feeling fresh and wearing Yixing’s clothes with a towel over his damp hair.

And Yixing was nowhere to be seen. Jongdae checked his bedroom, which was empty, and the kitchen, also empty. The apartment was only so big.

When he walked into the living room, he noticed that the sliding door leading to the balcony was open slightly ajar and decided to check it out.

Looking closely through the glass, Jongdae could make out Yixing’s figure in the darkness, hunched over the railing. He approached him, pausing at the doorway to admire Yixing’s back a little bit more before stepping into the chilly air.

Yixing turned around to face Jongdae at the sound of the sliding door opening. He made a move to put out his cigarette but Jongdae stopped him.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,”

Yixing looked like he was about to protest but he listened to Jongdae and took a drag of the cigarette, inhaling in the smoke before letting out a puff dispersing into the air.

They stood there in the silence, with the bustling sound of the city in the distance. It was a cloudless night and Jongdae could see the half-crescent moon hanging over them with a handful of stars he could make out amidst the light pollution, scattered across the sky.

He wanted to start a conversation with Yixing, but he wasn’t sure of what to say.

Yixing finished his smoke and put down the cigarette butt in an ashtray he kept on the balcony. He turned to look at Jongdae and frowned.

“You shouldn’t be out here, you’ll catch a cold,”

Before Jongdae could reassure Yixing that he would be fine, Yixing reached over and used the towel on around Jongdae’s neck to dry his hair for him.

“Let’s go back inside,”

Once they were back inside, Yixing told Jongdae to take his bed for the night.

“What about you?”

Yixing grabbed some spare bedding from the closet and set them on the couch.

“I’ll be fine here tonight,”

“But–“

“No buts,” Yixing said as he started to spread the sheets over the couch.

Jongdae watched as Yixing laid out his temporary bed for the night.

“I should go home tomorrow,”

Yixing stopped what he was doing to look at Jongdae.

“Will your parents be worried?”

His parents.

Suddenly Jongdae felt guilty for storming out of the house without any further contact. He wondered what his parents were doing right now, since they obviously couldn’t reach him through his cellphone. Amidst all the anger and blame, they were still his parents and Jongdae still cared for them.

Jongdae nodded glumly.

Yixing walked over to Jongdae and led him to his bedroom.

“Here, rest,” Yixing said as he sat Jongdae down on his bed. “A lot has happened today, you need to catch up with some sleep.”

Jongdae climbed under Yixing’s covers and peered up at Yixing through the sheets.

“Thank you, Yixing,”

Yixing smiled, dimple showing again, “You’re always welcome, Jongdae.”

—☆—

Yixing woke up on the couch in his living room.

He vaguely recalled last night as he blinked and stretched, making his way to the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of water and checked his fridge.

It was near empty.

Now, Yixing wasn’t a breakfast person, and when did decide to eat, he ate at the café he worked part-time at. But he had Jongdae over and it didn’t seem appropriate to be leaving him in his house with no food to eat. Glancing at the clock and noting that he had 15 minutes to get ready, Yixing quickly wrote Jongdae a note with an explanation and directions to the café, along with a spare key so he could lock up later.

Yixing quickly got ready and made it out the door in a record of 10 minutes, silently hoping that Jongdae did not get woken up by his bustling around the apartment. As he was walking down the stairs, Yixing shrugged on his jacket, which still smelled faintly like Jongdae, and braced himself for another busy day ahead.

Today was no practice day, and it was collectively agreed upon by the members that they would have a few of these days scattered across the week as it gave them some time to work at part-time jobs, since their band hasn’t officially taken off yet and they still needed money to support their living.

When Yixing stepped into Café Galaxy, a quaint little coffeehouse founded by its equally charming owner, the bells hanging on the doorway chimed and he was greeted by the strong aroma of coffee beans and breakfast bagels.

“Good morning, Yixing!” A head poked out of the kitchen to greet him.

“Morning, Luhan,” Yixing replied cheerily and stepped behind the counter. As he was tying his apron on, Luhan fully emerged from the kitchen with a tray of warm pastries and slid them into the display case.

Yes, the same Luhan who bought a toaster from a stranger online. Also the same Luhan who managed to get Yixing this part-time job.

“Oh, that smells divine,” Yixing’s mouth was starting to water.

Luhan laughed, “Yifan saved a few of your favourites for you,”

“He truly is a blessing to all of us,”

As if on cue, Yifan emerged from the kitchen with more batches of pastries.

“Oh, hey Yixing. Do you mind putting the sign out? It’s almost time,”

“Sure thing,” And he grabbed the little chalkboard sign that described today’s daily special, along with a really cute (but lame) coffee pun and some drawings of unrecognizable creatures. Yixing laughed at the ‘Haven’t had your daily brew yet? Better latte than never!’

He stepped back into the shop and prepared for the customers that were due to come in soon.

Other than the occasional difficult clients they would get, Yixing rather enjoyed working there. His coworkers were nice and his boss, Yifan, was more than accommodating for his constant shift changes. He also really liked chatting with the customers about his band and inviting them to attend his shows.

The first batch of customers arrived right after they opened and Yixing was soon swept along by the busy wave of serving these early-risers. As Yixing was wiping down a table after a customer had left, the chimes jingled to alert him that another customer had entered the shop. He knew Luhan was covering for him at the cash register, so he continued to do what he was doing and busied himself with keeping the table clean.

“Hi, welcome to Café Galaxy,” he heard Luhan say, “What can I get you?”

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Yixing?”

Yixing looked up at the mention of his name and saw Jongdae standing in front of the counter. He quickly dropped what he was doing and walked over.

“Here I am!”

Jongdae turned around at the sound of his face and his expression of uncertainty was replaced by a relieved smile.

“Good, you found your way here alright,”

Jongdae nodded, “Yep, the map you drew was very informative,” he then laughed and handed Yixing his spare key. “Thanks for your hospitality last night, I really appreciate it. I must get going now,”

Yixing shook his head and mentioned for Jongdae to sit down at one of the tables.

“You haven’t eaten anything yet right?”

Jongdae nodded and was tugged away by Yixing to sit at one of the tables.

“You drink coffee right?”

Jongdae nodded again.

“Okay, be right back,”

Before Jongdae could protest, Yixing made a gesture for him to stay and walked briskly back to the counter.

“Where are the pastries that Yifan saved for me?”

Luhan smirked at Yixing with a knowing look on his face but he didn’t say more and pointed towards the kitchen.

“They’re laid out right by the sink,”

“Thanks,”

And Yixing was set in a whirlwind of movements as he retrieved the baked goods from the kitchen, which included an assortment of a bagel, scones, and blueberry muffins, and poured a cup of freshly brewed coffee and made his way back to Jongdae.

“Eat up,” Yixing smiled at Jongdae, who looked back at him with a grateful smile.

Yixing continued to busy himself with helping customers and cleaning up messes. Luhan looked like he wanted to ask Yixing something, but they were both swamped with work and could only spare a few words to each other here and there.

After the morning rush died down and only a handful of customers lingered around the store, Yixing finally had the time to take a breather and sit himself on a stool behind the counter.

“Ugh I’m pooped,” Luhan groaned as he leaned against the counter, “Yifan should seriously consider hiring another person, especially during our busy hours,”

Yixing agreed. Considering the fact that Luhan had to step in and out of the kitchen to help Yifan with baking, which left Yixing to man the front all by himself, the store was in need of another employee if they wanted to make through the rush hours alive.

“Hey,” Jongdae had walked up to the counter, “Thanks for the food. I don’t have my wallet with my right now but I’ll pay you back later.”

Yixing stood up from his seat, “It’s on me,”

Jongdae frowned, “You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t keep on taking from you.”

“Jongdae, you’ve done more than you could’ve imagined by joining us.”

Beside him, Yixing could hear Luhan mumble a quiet “oh” under his breath and his face lit up as if he’d just realized something important.

“But…”

Luhan joined in on the conversation as he perched himself right on the counter space by Yixing.

“Oh don’t worry about him, Jongdae. He doesn’t mind one bit,” and grinned at Jongdae cheekily.

Yixing swiftly stepped on Luhan’s toe under the counter, ignoring Luhan’s yelps of pain and smiled at Jongdae.

“Really, don’t worry about it okay? You should probably get going before your parents do something drastic,” He then added, “If you need a place to stay again, just let me know.”

Jongdae nodded his head after some time of deliberation, and bid the duo goodbye.

When he left the store with the sounds of the bell chime, Luhan turned to look at Yixing with his signature shit-eating grin.

“Oh, Jongdae~” Luhan said dramatically, folding both of his hands together and batting his eyelashes at Yixing.

“Shut up,” Yixing could feel his face glow red in embarrassment.

Luhan’s smile only grew wider.

“So how come you didn’t tell me he decided to join you guys?”

Yixing preoccupied himself with wiping down the counter space.

“It just happened yesterday,”

“You really did it this time, huh?”

Yixing looked at Luhan in confusion, “What?”

“You caught yourself a cute one,”

“I don’t know what you mean,”

“Oh come on Xing, don’t play dumb. I know you know he’s one gorgeous piece of –”

Yixing threw the towel on Luhan’s face. “Don’t be gross Luhan,” but the image of Jongdae’s kittenish lips and his long lashes wandered into his mind.

“Rude,” Luhan mumbled as he grabbed the towel off of his face.

“Excuse me, can I have another fork please?” A customer asked from the other side of the counter.

Yixing and Luhan quickly straightened up.

“Here you go,” Yixing grabbed a clean fork from one of the drawers and handed it over to the customer.

When the customer went back to his table, Luhan turned to Yixing and continued with his teasing.

“So what happened last night, huh?”

Yixing was determined not to look at Luhan’s face, which was probably morphed into a perverted look, with eyebrows wagging and all.

“Nothing. He needed a place to stay so he slept over at mine,” Yixing said, matter-of-factly.

“Che, I was hoping for some juicy details,”

Yixing shook his head, “Sorry to disappoint, but there’s not gonna be any,”

Luhan whined, but Yixing wasn’t having any of it.

“Is that Yifan for calling you? I think Yifan is calling you,”

Pouting, Luhan whacked Yixing with the towel he threw at him earlier.

“Ugh, you can be so stubborn sometimes,”

Yixing playfully batted his eyelashes at him, “It’s a part of my charms,”

Luhan later gave up, knowing that he wasn’t going to pull out any answers from Yixing today, and left to go help Yifan in the kitchen, leaving Yixing alone with his lingering thoughts on Jongdae and his smile.

—☆—

When Jongdae reached home, he found that the front door wasn’t locked, so he carefully entered and listened for sounds of his mother being home. The house was silent as Jongdae trudged through the foyer and up the stairs to his room. Just as he was about to go up the stairs, his mother stepped out of the kitchen, almost giving Jongdae a heart attack with the sudden noise.

“Jongdae?”

Jongdae stopped in his tracks and took in a deep breath before turning around to face his mother.

“Hi mom,”

“Oh thank goodness, I was going to call the police soon,” His mother cried out as she reached forward to wrap her arms around Jongdae in a tight embrace.

Jongdae grimaced at the sudden contact and also at how guilty he was feeling for making his mom worry. After barraging Jongdae with questions (“Where did you go last night? Who were you with? Did you eat?”), and Jongdae insisting he was okay and properly fed, they finally settled themselves around the kitchen table.

“Your father’s worried too you know,” His mother finally said. “Even if he doesn’t show it sometimes.”

Jongdae’s brows furrowed.

His mother continued on, “I’ll go heat up the soup from last night, we can talk more later.”

“Mom, I’ve made a decision and I’m not going to go back on my words,”

The look on his mother’s face just about broke Jongdae, but he was determined to follow the path he had chosen for himself.

“Jongdae,” His mother began, but seeing the determination in her son’s face, she didn’t say anything more.

Upstairs in his room, Jongdae swiped open his phone to find 15 unread messages and about a dozen of missed calls, all from Baekhyun.

He quickly sent him a text message, telling him that he was okay and had not fallen into the clutches of serial killer Yixing and became a part of his trophy collection.

Not even a minute later, his ringtone blared out from his phone, screen showing Baekhyun’s name and face.

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck were you?!?” Was Baekhyun’s frantic voice that greeted Jongdae’s ears.

“Sorry, Baek,” Jongdae apologized, “Long story but I forgot to bring my phone.”

“You weren’t replying to my texts last night but I thought, whatever, and I dropped by your house this morning after my exam and your mom said you went out last night and never came back?!”

Huh, his mom never mentioned Baekhyun visiting this morning.

“Shit, I was so worried,”

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae apologized again, really meaning it. “Everything sort of just all happened at once…”

He then proceeded to fill him in with every detail of the eventful night, leading up all the way to staying at Yixing’s and eating breakfast at the coffee shop he worked at. When he was done, Baekhyun was silent, which was unusual for his chatterbox friend.

“Holy shit balls,”

Jongdae laughed into the receiver.

Holy shit balls was right.

“Come stay at my place,” Baekhyun told Jongdae, almost as if he was sensing his unease with being at home again. “For as long as you want, hell, stay forever.”

Jongdae flopped onto his bed and snuggled into his sheets.

“Baek, I can’t stay forever,”

“Okay fine, until you find a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever, and move in with them,” Baekhyun paused, “No offence to your parents, they’re nice people and all, but they’ve got to loosen up a bit man. I can’t imagine your home to be a good environment for you. At least, not right now.”

Baekhyun was right. Jongdae needed some time away from his parents and definitely a change of environment. Ever since he’d agreed to join Yixing’s band, he felt like he was a new person and wanted to live life anew. Thinking back to his parents’ words, he was definitely about to start a new chapter in his life, but it not exactly the kind that they had in mind.

“Thank you, Baekhyun,” Jongdae said and felt an immense amount of love and gratitude for his friend.

“Pack up your stuff now, I’ll be home in like 10 min so I’ll see you soon, okay?”

After hanging up, Jongdae grabbed his large duffle bag from his closet and threw in some clothes and necessities. He did a quick onceover of his room and when he decided he’s had everything he needed for a little while in his bag, he closed the door to his room behind him and walked down the stairs.

And of course, he ran into his mother on his way to the entrance, who saw the bag in Jongdae’s hand and immediately wore a face of apprehension.

“Jongdae? What are you–?”

Jongdae engulfed his mom in a hug, relishing the moment. He pulled back and looked at his mom in the eyes.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the son you wanted me to become,”

“Don’t be silly,” His mom held onto his arms, “Stay, we can talk this out together with your Dad, we can work something out together–“

“Mom, don’t you see? I don’t want us to work something out together anymore. I want to do this.”

Seeing that there was no stopping him, his mom reluctantly let go of his arms, but she still wore a face of worry.

“It’ll be fine, I’m staying with Baekhyun for a little bit and there are still things I have to figure out.” Jongdae continued on, “But please have faith in me,”

And he was out the door.

Jongdae was hit with a familiar feeling of Déjà vu as he once again walked out of the front door of his house. However, this time, he had a newfound sense of purpose and he was determined to become successful without the involvement of his parents.

—☆—

“Can someone get that for me please?” Yixing’s voice carried across his small apartment building as he was head deep into his supply closet trying to dig out his spare bowls and plates.

“I got it,” was Sehun’s reply as he sauntered over and swung open Yixing’s front door.

Standing at the entrance was Jongdae with Baekhyun in tow.

“Jongdae hyung and friend is here!” Sehun announced as he stepped back to let the duo inside.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and scoffed, but entered the apartment nonetheless.

It’s been around two weeks since Jongdae had settled in with the crew and his new life, and two weeks since both himself and Baekhyun had become acquainted with the rest of the band, and Sehun was still referring to Baekhyun as “Jongdae hyung’s friend” – probably to irk the older boy and he knew it was working.

“We brought sustenance!” Jongdae declared as he held up the plastic bag containing bags of assorted snacks.

Chanyeol, who was sprawled on Yixing’s couch, perked up at the mention of food and latched onto Jongdae’s side to peek at what was inside the bag.

Yixing waltzed into the living room carrying a stack of paper plates and cups, “Come in, come in,”

Jongdae, with his arms free now that Chanyeol had hijacked the bag he was carrying, walked over to Yixing.

“Need some help?”

Yixing smiled, “I’m good, actually. The pizza should arrive any moment now, I just need help with devouring them later.”

“That, I’m excellent in,”

Yixing’s living room was soon enveloped in a warm atmosphere as the group eased into friendly banter, all crowded around the small coffee table. Yixing passed around plates and poured drinks. It had been a while since it was this lively in his home.

When the pizza arrived, the scene became even livelier as they picked their own slices, fighting for the last piece, chattering and laughing.

Yixing settled himself next to Jongdae on the couch.

“How’s everything going?”

Jongdae’s cheeks were slightly puffed out as he was stuffing his face with pizza and Yixing waited for him to finish chewing with an amused smile on his face.

“Pretty good,” Jongdae nodded along, “Baekhyun isn’t all that bad to live with, contrary to what you might think,”

Laughing, Yixing said, “I’m sure he is,”

“It’s been…fun,” Jongdae contemplated, “Living with Baekhyun. Playing with you guys. It’s been fun.”

“I’m glad,” Yixing was genuine in his answer and Jongdae must have also felt his sincerity as the curls of his lips grew into a smile.

Yixing really liked watching Jongdae smile.

“And I’ll be taking a seat here, thank you very much,” Baekhyun said as he squeezed in between the two, much to the disappointment of Yixing.

“So what are we watching?” Baekhyun asked, oblivious to the moment they had going on.

“Um, I’m not sure. It’s something Sehun picked.”

Sehun, who was in the middle of tinkering with Yixing’s old DVD player, turned around at the sound of his name.

“We’re watching Kingsman,”

“Oh, I heard it wa a gud moo-e,” Chanyeol said mid-bite, which earned him a light shove from Kyungsoo sitting beside him.

“Finish chewing first,”

“Yeah, Junmyeon hyung recommended it,” Sehun laid back on his cushion at the foot of the couch, “Alright, it’s starting!”

The lights dimmed as the movie began, and the chatter subsided into occasional whispers or comments about the scene.

Yixing tried to pay attention to the movie, but it was difficult to focus on the spy gadgets Harry Hart was showing Eggsy when he could hear the audible gasps and giggle that was traveling his way from Jongdae.

He discreetly glanced over to Jongdae, whose face was illuminated by the light from the TV screen, only to have his field of vision blocked by Baekhyun’s face, as he gave Yixing a grin that eerily resembled Luhan’s own signature shit-eating grin.

Yixing sighed, which earned a curious glance from Jongdae.

Shaking his head ‘never mind’, Yixing returned back to face the screen, still aware of Baekhyun’s knowing smile plastered against his side.

—☆—

Time flew by faster than Jongdae could keep up.

The showcase was a complete success and fans took to Jongdae like fish to water.

It was hard not to like him; his boyish charms in combination with his heavenly voice, the fans had no chance.

At least, that was what Jongdae convinced himself to be the case.

Nonetheless, he was more than happy to receive such warmth and his previous doubts of the situation were slowly being washed away with every loving comment that was being left on his SNS. Yixing and the others were also easy to work with and soon he was able to fit right in with the dynamics of the band and felt like he was truly contributing to a cause.

After the showcase performance, Jongdae was standing on the stage, facing the room full of audience. The spotlight blinded his vision and all he could see was the blaring white light, but the screams for encore from the fans below ignited a new fire within him and it was then he decided he really did belong on the stage.

And now fast forward to one month later, Jongdae was getting ready for bed in Baekhyun’s room. Baekhyun had so graciously set up a temporary cot for him in the corner of his bedroom and even though it wasn’t a viable option in the long run, Jongdae was happy where he was today.

As Jongdae was lying in bed, scrolling through his Twitter feed, Baekhyun entered his room, fresh out of the shower.

“Hey,”

“Yo,” Jongdae didn’t look up from his phone.

Baekhyun was ruffling his hair dry while he plopped onto his own bed.

“Oh yeah, I got someone to cover for me on Friday,”

Jongdae looked up at Baekhyun.

“So I’m all yours for the evening,” Baekhyun was grinning.

Jongdae whined, “Baek, you’re too good to me,”

“Hey, I wouldn’t miss seeing you on stage all decked out in rock gear for the world,”

His grin turned teasing.

“Even if you do wear copious amounts of eyeliner,”

“Hey, one day you will change your mind about it and I will make you eat your words,”

Baekhyun waved him off, “Yeah, yeah,”

Jongdae directed his attention back to his phone screen and Baekhyun climbed into his bed.

“So who did you end up blackmailing this time?”

Baekhyun pouted, “That was one time,” but he went on to answer Jongdae’s question nevertheless, “Tao,”

“The poor kid,”

Really, he had no chance against Baekhyun.

“Kid’s gotta learn how to fend for himself,”

“He knows martial arts, I’m pretty sure he knows how to fend for himself,”

“It’s all about the wits my friend,” Baekhyun yawned, “Someone has to teach him not to be so nice all the time,”

“What’s wrong with being nice?”

Baekhyun smirked at Jongdae, “Speaking of being nice, Yixing is a nice guy, huh,”

“Where did that come from?”

“Nowhere, just a simple observation,”

“Knowing you, there is no such thing as just simple observation for you,”

Baekhyun sighed, “Fine, you got me. I was nosy and trying pry into your personal relationships,”

“That’s the Baek I know,”

“You’re not answering my question,”

“I didn’t realize you asked one,”

Rolling over onto his stomach, Baekhyun faced Jongdae.

“So what’s the deal between you guys?”

Jongdae put down his phone and raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“I don’t know, we’re just bandmates? Friends?”

“Oh don’t play dumb, don’t think I don’t catch these things,” Baekhyun went on, “I notice the looks you two share, the ones where you two both look like you are in your own little world,”

“Looks?” Jongdae blinked at Baekhyun, “We do?”

“I notice these things man,”

“Okay, enlighten me, what do you notice?”

“I don’t know, you guys just seem so happy? Genuine? When you look at each other.”

Jongdae furrowed his brows but he remained silent. He was processing Baekhyun’s words.

“And…it’s just…it’s been a while since I’ve seen you look like that,”

“I’m just happy to be finally doing something that I love,”

“I guess…”

Jongdae shook his head, “You’re thinking too much into this. Yixing and I both found what we were looking for – his vocalist and my freedom. I guess we’re both happy we found each other.”

Baekhyun looked deep into Jongdae’s eyes, searching.

“Okay,” was all he said.

“Okay?”

“I’m just glad you’re happy, Jongdae,”

“I’m glad, too,”

—☆—

Jongdae was panting slightly as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead.

The venue was packed, like usual, and the heat radiating from the audience was suffocating. But all Jongdae could feel was the exhilaration pulsating through his veins.

Jongdae took a moment to catch his breath.

He really did thrive on this feeling.

“Thank you, everyone!” Yixing’s voice boomed through the microphone.

“Thank you!”

Everyone else took their turns to express their gratitude to their fans.

“Safe return home!”

“I love you guys!”

Yixing slung an arm over Jongdae as they made their way backstage.

“Good work today,”

Up close, Jongdae could see the glimmer in Yixing’s eyes and the single dimple adorning his face when he smiled at him.

“Thanks, you too!” Jongdae returned the smile.

In their little dressing room, the members all collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion.

“The real deal is just not the same,” Sehun groaned, flexing his fingers, “playing 3 shows consecutively is more tiring than I thought,”

“Worth it though,” Chanyeol said through closed eyes as he laid back on the couch.

Yawning, Jongdae voiced his agreement.

Beside him on the couch, Yixing was looking a little worn out as well, the dark circles under his eyes still managed to seep through the layers of makeup.

“Doesn’t look like we have anything booked for a little while, so I think we all deserve a break,”

Sehun raised both of his arms up in the air in celebration, but the rest of his body was too exhausted to follow through.

“Hey, let’s all go somewhere together! It’ll be like a weekend getaway as a group,”

“I think we’ve seen plenty of each other already,” Kyungsoo said as he entered the dressing room.

Yixing scooted over to Jongdae to make room for Kyungsoo on the couch, the side of his body pressed against Jongdae’s. Jongdae did his best to stay nonchalant as Yixing’s body heat was radiating against his own through clothing.

Before anybody could say anything else, the door to the room swung open and a middle aged couple burst through the entrance, bringing in newfound energy to the group.

Sehun lit up as soon as he saw who they were.

“Mom, Dad!”

“Hey Sehunnie!”

And soon the room was engulfed in booming laughter as Sehun’s parents congratulated the band on another successful show.

Sehun’s Dad was patting Sehun on the back while his Mom doted on him lovingly.

“I’m so proud of you, son,”

Jongdae could only look on at the sideline.

—☆—

“Hey,”

Yixing looked up at the sound of Jongdae’s voice.

“Jongdae?” Yixing looked at him in surprise, “I thought I told you guys we’re taking a break? What are you doing here?”

Jongdae shrugged, “I was bored at home, so I guess I just ended up coming here.”

“You somehow always end up here,” Yixing said with an amused smile, referring to the incident where Jongdae first showed up at the practice studio, shivering without a jacket. It seemed to be so long ago.

“It’s become a safe haven or sorts to me, I guess,”

Jongdae walked over to where Yixing was sitting, cross legged on the ground, acoustic guitar in hand

“And you? What are you doing here?”

Yixing patted the ground next to him, mentioning for Jongdae to sit.

“It’s too quiet at home,”

Jongdae slumped onto the ground next to Yixing. He recalled Yixing’s small apartment and lack of roommate.

“How about friends? Family?” Jongdae questioned. He realized he knew next to nothing about Yixing, except his name and occupation. That was it.

Yixing laughed.

“Most of my friends are busy, working probably.”

Jongdae nodded.

“And as for family…” Yixing trailed off, something flickering in his eyes.

“I don’t have any family left,”

“Oh,” was all Jongdae could say.

“My parents passed away in a car accident when I was 11,” Yixing said, fingers tinkering lightly with the strings on the guitar, “my grandma took care of me after, but she’d passed away a few years ago as well.”

“I’m sorry,”

Yixing broke into a carefree laugh.

“It’s not something you need to be sorry for,”

Jongdae swallowed a lump in his throat.

Yixing, happy and smiling Yixing, was the Yixing he’d always known.

Yixing, the hardworking and passionate Yixing, was carrying the loneliness by himself all these years.

It made Jongdae suddenly very aware of his own privileges and the things he’d taken for granted.

Yixing playfully punched Jongdae on the shoulder.

“Hey, while you’re here, you can help me out with this,”

“Sure, what is it?”

Yixing strummed the guitar.

“I’ve been trying to write this one song for a while now, and I’m a little stumped,”

“Play me what you have so far?”

Yixing complied and played out the chords for Jongdae while humming out the melody of the song.

“The lyrics are still kind of under construction,” Yixing said sheepishly.

“It’s a beautiful song,”

Yixing lit up at Jongdae’s compliment.

“You really think so?”

Jongdae nodded.

“It’s a song I’ve been meaning to write for the fans, actually,” Yixing frowned, “but I’ve scrapped the lyrics so many times, I just can’t seem to get it right,”

“What kind of message are you thinking of sending?”

“Something like…something like a heartfelt letter, expressing our love and gratitude for the fans, but I can’t seem to do it without it sounding overly cheesy and cringe worthy,”

Jongdae laughed, “I can see how that’s hard,”

“You see my dilemma now?” Yixing pouted in a way that Jongdae shouldn’t be thinking it was cute.

Jongdae shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Do you have some pens and paper? Let’s write some lyrics,”

And so the afternoon was spent in a frenzy of brainstorming and frantically scribbling down ideas. Jongdae sang out the parts of what they had and adjustments were made accordingly.

It was only when Jongdae’s stomach growled, signalling that it was close to dinner time, did the two look up from their work.

“Wow, how is it 5 already,” Jongdae glanced down at his phone.

Yixing raised his arms up in a stretch and yawn lazily.

“Let’s stop for today,”

Jongdae agreed and the two spent the next few minutes cleaning up the scrap pieces of paper that accumulated over the creative writing session. Yixing put away his guitar, and after gathering up their belongings and locking up the door, they were making their way down the street.

“Let’s go get dinner,” Jongdae suggested, “my treat this time,”

Yixing grinned, “Alright, I know just the place to go,”

—☆—

“Jooooooooongdae, come one, the presents aren’t going to buy themselves you know!”

Jongdae dragged his feet along as he struggled to follow his overly excited friend.

It should be illegal to be this energetic before 9am, he decided.

Honestly, he felt like death. He was awake well into the night, skype calling with Yixing, still working on the lyrics to their song. They’ve been working on it so often that they’ve affectionately dubbed it as their song now.

And when he finally went to bed, it felt like his head had just hit the pillow before Baekhyun just about yanked him out of bed, chattering excitedly about some last minute Christmas shopping.

Jongdae yawned for the umpteenth time and mumbled, “Baek, can’t this wait until another time,”

“Christmas is on Friday! That’s one week away! I can’t show up without a gift,”

Jongdae rubbed his eyes, “I’m sure he won’t mind. The kid’s whipped, I tell ya,”

“Tao is not whipped,” Baekhyun protested, “he’s just very considerate of my wellbeing, thank you very much,”

“Whipped,” Jongdae muttered under his breath.

Baekhyun went on, pretending not to hear him, “It’s our first Christmas together, and I want it to be special,”

“I still don’t know how you two ended up together. He must’ve not learned his lesson about looking out for himself,” Shaking his head, Jongdae digged around in his pocket for change. He needed some coffee. Fast.

Baekhyun huffed and puffed.

“You should be grateful I dragged you along, you still haven’t gotten Yixing anything yet, right?”

Jongdae was silent.

He had contemplated on getting Yixing something, but he hadn’t been able to find something that he was sure Yixing would like.

The band had agreed to a small gathering on Christmas Eve, celebrating the progress they’ve made as a band. Sehun was going to bring his new girlfriend and Kyungsoo was also bringing a friend. Jongdae had bought presents for the members already and they were all sitting in Baekhyun’s room, all wrapped up and labeled. Every member except for Yixing.

He wasn’t going to half ass it.

It had to be something meaningful and at the same time, something that Yixing will love and treasure.

That was what Jongdae told himself as he scavenged through the stores, scanning through every item that he was sure Yixing would be interested in.

But there he was, a week before Christmas and he had come up with nothing.

After buying the much needed cup of coffee, he trailed along behind Baekhyun as they breezed through the mall.

Four hours later and shopping bags in hand, the two decided that it was enough shopping for the day and headed for the exit.

“Whew, that was rough,”

Jongdae sighed miserably, “You’re telling me…”

Inside the only shopping bag he was carrying was a winter scarf that he had finally picked for Yixing. He can’t believe his super special and meaningful gift turned out to be a generic fluffy scarf.

Baekhyun patted him sympathetically on the back.

“I’m sure he will love it,”

Feeling thoroughly dejected, he nodded and wanted nothing more than to end the day and go back to bed.

—☆—

“At this rate, I think we’ll have the song ready for our 10th year anniversary,” Yixing said while he sipped his latte.

Sitting across from him, Jongdae shook his head.

“You know what, I’m starting to think the same,”

Outside the café where they were nesting in, dusk had settled in and basked the atmosphere in a pale orange glow. The idle chatter floated in the background and soft jazzy music played through the speakers.

“Ahhh,” Yixing sighed out while he leaned back onto his chair, the exasperation evident. “You’re not going to abandon me on this, right?”

“Never,”

“I don’t think I could do this myself,”

“This song is just as much yours, as it is mine at this point, really,”

“But do you promise to never do it?”

Jongdae laughed while he stirred his coffee.

“I promise.”

—☆—

“Shit, I’m gonna be late,” Jongdae groaned to himself as he quickly scrambled to throw on some decent clothing and look presentable.

He had lost track of time while putting together the finishing touches to Yixing’s present. The late night epiphany he had regarding the meaningful present he had wanted to give Yixing led him to dash out of bed and straight to Baekhyun’s dining table, where he laid his work out. He had worked through the night, only realizing it was dawn when Baekhyun’s startled yelp at the entrance of the kitchen pulled him out of the zone.

He had decided to take a nap and catch up with some sleep before the Christmas gathering that was happening tonight. Only, he underestimated his exhaustion and slept through his alarms. When he had woken up, it was an hour before he was to get to Yixing’s.

Baekhyun had left earlier for Tao’s and left him a note, once again expressing his dismay of not being able to go with him to their gathering and wished him an early Christmas. Beside the note were the presents he had gotten for his bandmates, all packed together in a recyclable bag, including Yixing’s scarf.

Jongdae felt a wave of appreciation for his friend and spent a good minute or two being emotional by himself.

Making sure to send a quick text to Yixing, explaining that he would be a tad bit late, Jongdae grabbed everything, double-checking that Yixing’s present, part 2, was included in his bag, and darted out the door.

When he had finally made it to the front steps of Yixing’s apartment, he could hear the muffled sound of the party from the outside. He juggled the bags in his hand to knock on the door, waiting patiently for someone to let him in.

Sehun greeted him from the other side when the door swung open.

“Jongdae hyung!!”

With the way his words were slightly slurred, Jongdae questioned the amount of alcohol he had consumed already.

Once inside, Jongdae was greeted with the regular crew, Junmyeon included, and a few unfamiliar faces. Sehun eagerly introduced Jongdae to his girlfriend, a pretty and shy girl named Seulgi. He also learned that Kyungsoo’s friend that he brought along was Jongin.

Jongdae hung up his jacket and set the presents under the tree, making sure to take out the present he had been working on for Yixing out and keeping it on himself.

He didn’t want to give it to Yixing in front of this many people.

“Everything alright?” Yixing came up to him and asked.

Jongdae flashed him his thumbs up and a grin.

Once everyone had become acquainted, the party really took off and everyone was able to loosen up and enjoy themselves.

Even Kyungsoo, who had a questionable amount of alcohol in his system, was beginning to lose his usual direct line of thinking.

“You know, I’m sic—sick of you people…another year…another Christmas spent with you all…”

Chanyeol looped his arm over Kyungsoo’s small frame.

“Aw, I know you love us, Soo!”

“Get offa me,”

Jongdae laughed at the sight of Kyungsoo trying to pry off the giant that was Chanyeol.

Things settled down a little bit as they all sat in front of Yixing’s Christmas tree and exchanged presents.

As expected, Yixing’s face expressed delight as he tore open Jongdae’s gift, gushing that he’d always wanted a fluffy scarf to keep himself warm during winter.

Jongdae could feel his face turn red as Yixing smiled sweetly at him, cradling the scarf in his arms.

Yixing had sheepishly confessed that his present to Jongdae had run into an unforeseen problem so it was going to be a little bit late. Jongdae reassured him that it was fine, although he was curious as to what it could be.

It was close to be around 1:30 in the morning when the party died down.

Jongdae’s face was flushed red as the aftermath and he just knew he was going to get a killer hangover tomorrow.

“Okay, is everybody safe to go?” Yixing called out when everybody had decided to call it a night.

“I got Sehun,” Seulgi reassured as she was holding onto his arm to keep him steady. “We can take a cab back,”

“And I’m driving Kyungsoo and Jongin back, since they’re on the way,” Junmyeon said as he put on his jacket, as he was the only person who stayed off the drinks tonight.

“Somebody had to stay sober to make sure you kids stay out of trouble,” Junmyeon had laughed.

Yixing looked at Jongdae.

“You came here yourself right?”

Jongdae nodded.

“Why don’t you stay the night?”

Jongdae thought about the long commute home and the empty apartment he’d return to, as Baekhyun was spending Christmas with Tao.

“Thanks,”

Chanyeol yawned as he was getting ready to plop on the couch, “Can I stay, too?”

Kyungsoo grabbed Chanyeol by the arm, holding him in place, and turned to face Junmyeon.

“Hyung, you have space for one more in your car, right?”

Looking back and forth between the look Kyungsoo was shooting him and at Yixing, Junmyeon’s face lit up in understanding and chuckled.

“Come on Chanyeollie, let’s get you home.”

And so Chanyeol was dragged away and forced to put on his jacket, much to his protest and confusion. As the party goers all filed out of Yixing’s place one by one, Jongdae and Yixing found themselves quickly surrounded by peaceful silence, which was a great contrast to the noise that was abuzz just a while ago.

“Let’s call it a night as well,” Yixing said, mentioning for Jongdae to leave the mess. “We’ll clean up tomorrow. I’m sure you’re tired as well.”

“Go wash up, I just gotta put the leftover cake in the fridge,”

Jongdae was too tired to say anything otherwise, so he trudged to Yixing’s bathroom.

Having gone to Yixing’s house several times now, he had familiarized himself with the layout and where everything was. As he was splashing himself with some cold water, he suddenly remembered that he hadn’t given the other part of Yixing’s gift to him yet. Quickly, he dried his face with the spare towel he knew Yixing kept in the cupboard, and made his way back to the living room.

A sense of nostalgia hit Jongdae as he found the living room to be empty, and the screen door that led to the balcony was open slightly ajar. Yixing’s back was facing him as he stepped foot onto the balcony and into the cold air.

“Hey,”

Yixing turned around, eyes glimmering under the moonlight, as if he was thinking the same thing as Jongdae.

“Hey,”

“I forgot to tell you that there was a continuation to your gift,”

“Continuation?” Yixing repeated, eyes widened with curiosity.

“Yeah,” Jongdae was starting to feel embarrassed as he pulled something out of his pocket. “Sorry it got a little crumbled.”

Yixing took the sheet of paper from Jongdae’s hand and unfolded it, his eyes glancing down the page, absorbing the words that were imprinted.

“Jongdae…” Yixing started, at a loss of words. “You…”

Jongdae smiled uncertainly at the reaction.

He had stayed up all night, finishing the lyrics to their song, and he was confident that he did a good job, finding the perfect balance between what both of them were looking for. But seeing that Yixing was struggling to find the right words to say, Jongdae wasn’t as confident anymore.

“You finished our song?” Yixing finally said.

“I promised, didn’t I?”

Yixing’s face melted into a wide smile.

“This is exactly it,” Yixing said, destroying any doubt that Jongdae had. “Thank you. This had been the best Christmas present for the best Christmas.”

Now Jongdae was sure he was red all over. But thank goodness for the poor lighting on Yixing’s balcony that he hoped would hide his embarrassment.

Jongdae tried to laugh it off.

“It would be the perfect Christmas if it snowed though,” Jongdae glanced at the bare streets below.

“Wouldn’t it be like something straight out of a movie if it were to start snowing now?” Yixing mused.

“Isn’t it usually in dramas where the couple would be out celebrating Christmas and then snow would all of a sudden start floating down the sky, creating that soft romantic mood?”

Yixing smiled softly at Jongdae.

“But real life is different, I guess,”

“Yeah,” Jongdae agreed, locking eyes with Yixing.

They spent what felt like eternity to Jongdae, gazing into each other’s eyes.

Jongdae could feel the heat radiating from Yixing as he leaned against him. He was feeling self-conscious under Yixing’s unyielding gaze and his heart rate sped up as he realized Yixing’s glance directed downward to his lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Yixing asked, finally breaking the silence.

Jongdae leaned his face upward as the response, and met his own lips with Yixing’s in a soft and tender kiss. They broke apart and Jongdae was practically shivering from the cold and the exhilaration. Yixing unconsciously licked his lips and pulled Jongdae into another kiss.

This time, the intensity increased and Jongdae found himself melting into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Yixing’s neck and pressed his body against Yixing’s.

They pulled apart when they felt something cold touch their skin. Looking up, they saw flurries of white petals dancing down the sky.

“The fuck…” Jongdae whispered in disbelief.

Yixing laughed and laughed.