Chapter Text
What's need to be said, Nicholas was never in love with anyone. He hardly falls in love. He was told during one of his therapy sessions that he can’t maintain a stable relationship. He seems at first sceptical but as he looked through his love life, he understood it completely. He was always doing everything solo. He was told to survive whatever life could bring him. As his parents divorced he was the only one who could take care of himself. Life wasn’t great all the time and he knew he needed to focus on his mental being, rather than compromise his heart desires. Then he quit thinking about love, daydreaming and even writing short poems about people he had never met. During his college days, he nearly was noticing anything that comes after small interactions between people. It wasn’t that he needed that space but he chose to remain there. Not until one of the students in his group suddenly came closer to him.
"Would you mind if I sit next to you?" - the soft voice echoed into his head. He immediately nodded, not knowing who wanted to sit next to him and why. He agreed because politeness was one of his main advantages.
"I don’t mind it. As long as you won’t be sleeping or asking too many questions during the lecture."
"It’s a promise from me!" - The boy next to him giggles a little then he starts to organise his half of a desk. He unpacks his backpack and puts down all of the essentials. These are eight crayons, single pen and a key ring with a tiny, plushie thing- it's a smiley orange.
"Is it necessary? Orange I mean." - he frowns a little, finally making eye contact with a boy.
"I guess so. Oh and my name is Byun Euijoo. Nice to meet you." - They exchange a soft greeting and when Nicholas is going to say his name, the professor steps out from the door and says “good morning”. This way their conversation is not going to last more. But that's okay for Nicholas, he isn't expecting anything from this.
The main hall of the cafeteria is filled by mixed voices of the students. Between them, they're sitting - Nicholas and his best friend - Harua. Dinner's time is then the only chance when they are able to see each other. During a day, while they're weaving between classes and classrooms, that's their way to take a breath and then keep going. "It could be easier if you look at me when I’m talking." - Harua frowns at Nicholas and digs again into his lunch.
"You know, there is something which troubles me." - Nicholas puts his spoon into air.
"I’m all ears for you." - he encourages him, putting a wide smile on his face.
"Do you think I’m sceptical about love or loving in general?" - he places a spoon into his mouth and sighs a little.
"Uh I don’t know man. Maybe or theoretically yes. I would say so. "
"For real? Ah then I need to change it. " - he shakes his head.
Change it for someone… - Harua initiates raising an eyebrow.
"Don’t go too far with your thoughts, friend. But I think I should listen to you for once. "
"Finally! What’s next?! Nicholas will thank me later?!" - Harua laughs freely.
"You are clearly a fool, Harua. Just a cute guy." - he giggles and starts to pack his belongings.
"See ya!" - he leaves and then goes to the main hall.
Byun Eujioo was never sure about his feelings. He could feel them and analyse them for too long, as a normal person would say. For him it was too important to let go all his thoughts linked to his heart. He could organise them, while creating messy doodles on the back of his notebook. He doesn’t mind if someone look at him and think he is immature. Byun would hide from the big crowds, always sitting at the back of the cafeteria, with pen in his palm. The orange almost a ''talisman'' - was crucial during his therapeutic session. He was all by himself and only with this ''Orange Guy''. Nothing more mattered to him than this precious time all alone with his entangled thoughts.
Doodling starts with only one word: guy. In his mind he returns to the previous class - which was history of literature and the guy he sat next to. He didn’t seem bothered in any possible way when Eujioo came closer. Eujioo couldn’t remember the colour of his eyes, what’s more his gaze or the way he sounded. In this not clear and rather dimming memory he would only remember this boy’s attitude. Was it the only thing that made an impact on Eujioo? - he starts debating. An arrow which comes from the word “boy” is now being surronded by many different lines .
Harua was the type of person to not change that drastically even if he fancy someone. He would try his best to force a smile every time he and this person exchange glances. The whole different story was that inside he would cry from love. He thinks he would never be enough for anyone. Starting from the point of being chosen by someone to finish at the stadium of loving. His low self-esteem would subconsciously make him give up on crushing and start comparing with others. On the top of that with his best friend - Nico. Which was an absurd and he knew that. Instead Harua chose to play hard to get only around his crush. This way he would not feel depressed or abdicated. If for example Euijoo wants to buy him a drink he would kindly refuse and brush it off. Little did he know - it was in fact sign of a yearning. He might not know this yet - but he is going to endure this burning desire.
The second meeting of Nicholas and Eujioo was during leisure time between classes. They happened to meet inside the council room. Here they were also Harua and Maki.
"Guys I think I have an idea what to do." - Maki says with a mischievous smile in the corners of his lips.
"Go on!" - orders Nicholas and laughs. Eyes of Euijoo are focused only on Nicholas. Nicholas isn’t affected by this in any way, he feels it but he tries to act like he’s not bothered by it. He just hocks.
"I think this game can kill our time. Is everyone alright with it?" - asks Maki, holding a board game. What about we divide into teams? I would be with Harua and you two together." - he adds.
"Yes, but what are we in fact doing?"- asks quietly Euijoo, who was quiet for some time. "I did blanked out for a while." - He is trying to awaken himself by asking.
" No problem, bro I'll tell you once again! I thought about this board game where you must score a point by hitting the ball."
"Yes." Everyone answers and begins to form into groups also deciding who will go first.
Not long after that Nicholas glances at Eujioo with a smile.
"Do you want to be a pair? - Nicholas turns his head toward EJ. "Since nobody is asking me - sure." - Euijoo agrees happy. "Then who is going to be scoring first?" "You can - I'm not that good at this kind of thing." - EJ tells, nervously shaking his head. "As you wish. I hope I will score us a point or two!" - Nicholas winks at him. "Are you guys ready there?" - navigates Maki trying to gain their's attention.
"Absolutely!" - they both laugh and make more space between their chairs.
"Okay great!"
"It’s time for the game to begin!"The game brings them so much joy. It's suprising that small moments like this can lower their level of stress. Nicholas is focused on the game more than anything right now. He makes a move and perfectly scores a goal. While he does that all of his body weight is being placed onto Euijoo. It indeed feels natural - he thinks while smirking in secret. EJ who is in disbelief for a short time and then proceeds to laugh it off. He doesn’t know it yet but from this very first moment he will be falling in love too rapidly, not aware of his heart..
After game ends, Nicholas checks his watch and takes his bag. He is heading for the evening class.
"Do you want to join me?" - Nicholas gives soft look to EJ.
"Me?" - asks EJ, not sure whether this question is really for him.
"And who is standing next to me if not you." - he jokes playfully, blinking twice.
"Oh sure, wait for me"! - just a second later he grabs Nico’s shoulder.
It's nearly time for a class to begin and clear footsteps are approaching them behind the door.
"Alright everyone I will check attendance!" - proffesor indicates students while taking a look at the list.
"Does anyone want to start with their presentation?"Day at the university comes to an end. Everyone is tired, craving any warm food that can help boost their life spirit. Maki makes a ‘’bye-bye’’ sign and heads to the entrance, smiling behind the glass doors. As soon as he leaves, Nicholas gets closer to Eijoo.
"What's the matter Nicholas?" - stops EJ. "You must tell me. "- words from Nicholas sound rather demanding than polite. The next thing is that Nicholas is under Eujioo's presence. In a way that, they both react emotionally. Coldness of Nicholas' hands is now placed onto Euijoo's back. It’s not a desire, it's a sign of loneliness which was buried deep down in Nicholas’ heart. That has happened right after his dad left him and his mother. Nicholas is trying to remains here - in this embrace. Sadly it’s not enough. This gesture needs to be repeated at least couple of times. Then Nicholas can finally experience this. Or find comfort maybe for a short grasp of time. Eventually be comforted by that touch. Just like Euijoo had an ability to read a boy's mind he is not doing anything more than just being in front of Nicholas. Which is enough for now. Shared silence is giving them room to breath. There might a slight flame of hope. "You just need to be there for me." - these simple words make EJ tear up. He sees someone who is needy for a love. Nicholas for Euijoo is the boy who is seeking for even the smallest imprint of care.