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Lux finds her in the corner of their apartment, crouched on the floor, surrounded by glitter and hot glue, that definitely smelled like it was burning.
“Jinx,” she says slowly, setting down her bag, “Why does that glitter look… explosive?”
Jinx doesn’t look up. “It was supposed to be a card” she mutters, tongue sticking out slightly in concentration. “Y’know. For you.”
Lux blinks. Her heart does a little flip, even as her eyes scan the chaotic sprawl of half-melted crayons and… were those wires? “That’s really sweet” she says, carefully, like she’s talking to someone holding a live grenade. Which, knowing Jinx, could actually be the case.
Jinx finally looks up, her goggles pushed into her hair, eyes wide and nervous. “I didn’t use any real explosives” she says defensively. “Just a teensy bit of the glitter bomb mix. And that was before I remembered I wasn’t supposed to.” She pauses. “Because of, y’know, therapy or whatever.”
Lux moves closer, stepping over a suspicious wire loop and sitting cross-legged beside her. “You’re really trying, huh?”
Jinx shrugs one shoulder. “You said arts and crafts help people chill. I figured if I couldn’t murder anyone today, I could at least massacre some construction paper.”
She holds up the “card.” It’s lopsided. The front reads “I didn’t explode anyone today :)” in blue glitter glue, with a big pink heart underneath. Inside, there’s a poorly drawn sketch of Lux in her battle armor with more hearts around her head. Jinx has added little speech bubbles. Lux’s says “Wow Jinx you’re so hot and well-adjusted.” Jinx’s says “I know, babe.”
Lux covers her mouth, trying not to giggle. “It’s… amazing.”
“You’re just saying that,” Jinx says, but there’s a soft red on her cheeks. “I know it’s dumb. I’m better with graffiti… just thought I’d try the whole ‘normal’ thing.”
Lux reaches over and gently takes her hand, the one not holding still-hot glue… or at least less of it. “Jinx. You don’t have to be normal. You just have to be you, just channel your creativity into less of the things that are bad for you.”
Jinx stares at their hands for a moment. “But what if me is bad?” she asks, quietly. “What if all the stuff I used to do… what if that’s still who I am?”
“It is still part of you” Lux says honestly, her voice soft but firm. “But so is this. The fact that you’re trying. That you made me this messy, glittery card instead of blowing up the mailbox.”
“I did that yesterday though.” Jinx grumbles.
“You’re learning.” Lux squeezes her fingers. “And I love you. That includes all the messy, loud, dangerous parts. But I also love the parts that sit down on the floor and cutely make me a card.”
Jinx looks at her for a long moment, like she’s trying to figure out if she’s being lied to, tricked, humored. She’s always on guard, even with Lux.
But slowly, her expression cracks.
“Okay,” she says. “but I’m not cute.”
“You so are.” Lux replies, leaning in to kiss the corner of her mouth.
Jinx hums, already reaching for another piece of paper. “Do you think I could make a whole comic? Like, ‘The Amazing Adventures of Boom and Blondie? I’ll draw us blowing up bad guys and smooching in alleyways.”
Lux grins. “I think that sounds like the perfect channeling therapy.”
They sit together like that, Jinx’s thoughts full of pulling Lux into a makeout sesh instead of voices screaming that she’s a murderer. Because today Jinx’s fingers are stained with blue instead of blood.
Then a thought comes to her alongside the giddy thoughts of her girlfriend’s lips, she doesn’t say it out loud, but she thinks it.
The things I do for love. Maybe they’re worth it.