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Perhaps Kyon's conception of fairy tales was a bit traditionalist, even outdated.
In any case, in his head, when a prince awakened a princess with a kiss, it was because he wanted to...
Well, from that point of view, he couldn't exactly consider himself incorrect.
But it was only because he wanted to.
Not because the princess had chosen him unconsciously and the power of her mind was the law of the universe. Still... that had never been denied, in the tales he had read. In fact, it would have explained a great many things.
Not because it was necessary, otherwise the world would be destroyed and replaced by something much stranger, in which the prince would no longer find his friends, not to mention lesser considerations like his favourite bands or the ramen shop around the corner.
Not because two fairy godmothers gave him an earful about how he had to - well, to be honest, indicated in big, flashing, fluorescent letters. Or rather, in unflashing letters on the keyboard of a computer. And in mysterious words from a rift in time. Well, in short, it was very rare that a prince needed the cumulative metaphorical ass-whooping of an alien and a time traveller in order to kiss a princess.
That wasn't the only difference, of course. In his conception of fairy tales, the princess was sweet and kind, didn't torture those who resisted her, didn't sexually harass other girls or blackmail anyone.
To be honest, in his conception of fairy tales, the prince was handsome, tall, strong, valiant and could handle a sword as well as dance a minuet, which wasn't exactly his case. Not at all. And he was pretty sure his idea didn't make any references to ponytails.
You could add that in his head, once the prince had kissed the princess, everything was resolved immediately, and they'd exit stage left for a life of perfectly boring happiness right away. Which, as a result, was the reason for cutting off the story at that point.
When quite frankly, who said you had to immediately marry a girl because you'd kissed her? Couples bonding this way would be totally shocking, not to mention all those people who would end up as polygamists.
In any case, boring happiness with Haruhi was definitely not an option. Although his traitorous mind sometimes suggested that the “happiness” and “with Haruhi” aspects wouldn't have been all that unpleasant, the “boring” part was unacceptable, for decisive reasons concerning the end of the world. It was up to him to make sure she didn't get bored. Which seemed a little difficult, given his acute awareness of being some kind of poster boy of normalcy.
"Why, yes. You are a valiant prince," Koizumi told him with his insufferable smile. "More than most, I assure you. Faced with such responsibilities, like going out with a God, most would've already run away screaming or nervously collapsed under the immense weight of their responsibilities."
Kyon gave him a dirty look. He was not "going out" with Haruhi! Perhaps he was showing himself as a traditionalist yet again, but he reckoned that the term expressed a deeper, more intimate reality than the fact that they were participating in the same club, she took advantage of him and they kissed once.
And besides, how did he know what he was thinking? Well, okay, there was a storybook on the table within his reach, the silent witness to his ramblings. But still, it could've been Yuki's, and also how did Koizumi know which step he was in his thought process, first of all? Was it true that he only had psychic abilities in closed space? Or had Haruhi modified his power while no one was looking, and now he was telepathic? Gods help him, he wasn't going to be able to think about Asahina-san without making a fool of himself, and... hmm.
Well, to keep it brief, he didn't consider himself valiant at all. In any case, he had no other choice, and what good would it have done to collapse screaming, or the opposite? And then, when he made his way to the club, when waiting to see what else Haruhi would come up with, it wasn't a sense of responsibility that was driving him first and foremost, nor the opportunity to potentially see Asahina-san in a maid outfit, nor even the routine.
No, it was painful to admit it, but Haruhi had undoubtedly contaminated him. There was never a dull moment with her, and that kind of consideration had to count for something. It was the least he could do to make her world even more interesting as far as he could, out of simple familiarity, even apart from all this closed space stuff. He wasn't with her just for that, for valour or anything, okay?
Fairy tales always talk about the first kiss, which saves the princess, ignoring the second, which is given for no reason, to a princess that already woke up, just to make her happy. But perhaps that's the most important.
Suffice it to say that even if Kyon had been in a real, traditional fairy tale, these books would have been no use to him.
He wasn't sure if he wanted to address the Question of the Second Kiss... because it would probably have led to untold complications, and he wasn't a valiant prince at all.
But at the back of the head was a whisper that it was a possibility, that it could happen, that it wouldn't be unpleasant; and on that day, he would have to improvise on the spot, because no preconceived conception about fairy tales would help him.
