Work Text:
It was quite difficult for Mutsuki to pinpoint the exact moment he fell for Urie Kuki.
He doubted that it was when Urie was going through his independent stage of not socializing with everyone and not caring for anyone. In fact, Mutsuki thought that he may have been going through something personal, and decided not to pursue in asking him what was wrong.
He also doubted that it was when Urie would constantly ignore him, or call him unpleasant names. Mutsuki was aware that Urie would mutter these vile names under his breath, but Mutsuki was to nervous to call him out on it.
Maybe it started when he screamed of pain and sorrow, confessing his hatred to everyone and bursting his arm through Mutsuki's stomach. Ok, so maybe that sounded a bit out of context, but it was the moment that Mutsuki saw how broken and lonely Urie was. It might have actually been pity that Mutsuki was feeling, and it was quite understandable to think that way, but when Mutsuki finally unleashed his Kagune and covered the both of them, he couldn't help but feel more.
Maybe it was when Urie asked Mutsuki to train with him. At first he was shocked of course, confused on why Urie would ask when he's never bothered to before, but when he noticed Urie slight stutter, his lack of eye contact and the small redness increasing on his cheeks, Mutsuki found it difficult to say no.
Maybe it was when Mutsuki found Urie a sleep with his headphones in. For a while, the boy was curious to know what exactly Urie was listening to, so when he inched closer to him, he was surprised to hear what sounded like opera music, lulling the stressed boy to sleep.
Maybe it was when the odd pair were going over their plan for their next mission. Urie had instructed Mutsuki to stay close to him so he knew that he would have someone he trusted close to him.
Maybe it was when Urie actually bought Mutsuki a present for his birthday. It wasn't anything too big and expensive, instead, it was a book titled 'The Lost Prince' which told the tale of a prince named Rosuto and his trusted Knight, Moru, as they set out to find a cure for their monster like abilities, that they were both cursed with. Mutsuki of course thanked Urie for the present, to which he looked away mumbling "You're welcome." beneath his breath.
Maybe it was when Mutsuki actually got the chance to read the book. Of course he instantly related to the Prince of the story, who also enjoyed reading tons of books, as well as having certain moments where they would begin to feel conflicted with themselves. When Mutsuki finally finished the book, he felt as if a weight had been lifted from him. This book showed that he wasn't alone and no matter what happens, someone is always going to be there to accept him, just like the princes knight, Moru. For a moment, Mutsuki thought that maybe Urie carefully picked this book, especially for him. The idea itself made his stomach flutter.
Maybe it was when Urie barged into Mutsuki's room when he heard him screaming. The green haired boy apologized a lot, saying that it was just a nightmare and he didn't mean to wake him. Urie just stood there for a moment, possibly processing what had happened. Although he was trying to keep his cool, Mutsuki noticed just how concerned Urie was for him.
Now that he thinks about it, it might have been when Urie told Mutsuki is feelings for him. It was right after a mission that resulted in Mutsuki going to the infirmary after saving Urie from a bunch of ghouls. Mutsuki woke up to find Urie at the edge of his bed with his hand on top of his. When Urie had noticed that Mutsuki woke up, he asked how he was feeling, before lecturing him on how he shouldn't have put his life in danger to save him. This eventually lead to Urie accidentally confessed his feeling to him, and before Mutsuki could respond, Urie abruptly left the room.
Or maybe, it was when Mutsuki saw Urie looking directly into his eyes as he was hovering over his body. A small amount of adrenaline was continuing to pound at his heart. The tint of crimson surrounding their cheeks was more then enough to show how embarrassed they both were in this situation. As much as Mutsuki wanted to hold Urie close to him and show him how much he cared for him, he knew that he wasn't ready to do anything more with him. He internally wanted Urie to stop, but he wasn't able to bring himself to tell him. Urie began to notice how much Mutsuki kept his eyes closed and how he had went completely still. The next thing Mutsuki felt, was Urie getting off of him and asking if he was ok. Mutsuki felt slightly overwhelmed.
Not because of the act that they were almost about to do, but because Urie had backed away checking to see if he was ok.
"I...I'm not ready." Mutsuki eventually said, facing Urie with guilt in his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologise." Urie responded, gently taking Mutsuki's hand in his. "I'd rather have your consent, then do something that could hurt you."
Mutsuki let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and began to breathe at a more steady pace. He's never had this type of treatment before, and he didn't know if he was allowed it.
After a moment of silence, Mutsuki simply nodded. As much as he tried to stop the tears he could feel welling up, Urie took notice of a small line of tears falling down to Mutsuki's cheek.
"H-hey," Urie stuttered, not quite sure on what to do in the situation. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Mutsuki gave a weak smile, "I'm just... I'm really happy."
Urie then placed his hand on top of Mutsuki's cheek and wiped the tear with his thumb. This was something that Mutsuki didn't know he would every get. Genuine love from another.
"Do you want me to stay here with you tonight, and we can just... well... cuddle?" Urie said.
The sentence itself sounded so foreign to Mutsuki, as he never exactly imagined Urie would ever say that. Nonetheless, Mutsuki gave a small smile to Urie before replying.
"That sounds nice."
It was quite difficult for Mutsuki to pinpoint the exact moment he fell for Urie Kuki. Maybe he'll never be able to notice what was the deal breaker or what simply made it hard for him to imagine his life without Urie in it. But all that mattered for right now, in this moment, was that he loved him with all his heart, and would never want this new found comfort taken away from him.