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Today was the day. Forged in Arda was coming to Ered Luin. Unbeknownst to Thorin, Dis had auditioned them all for the show months ago by sneaking videos of them at the forge. They wanted to do a special family edition and Thorin, Dwalin, Dis, and Milja would all be on it. Despite finding out by Dis practically squealing in his ear after getting off the phone, Thorin was actually rather excited. Arda Forges was by far one of his favorite competition shows, and he always thought he would be good at it. Now, he would get the chance to compete for twenty-five grand against his own family. The prize was as good as his.
***
Producer: Just look into the camera and give us a little bit about yourself.
Thorin: I’m Thorin, son of Thrain, 135, and I’ve been forge bound for the last ninety years. I taught Dwalin and Dis everything they know. Milja is my cousin’s wife, and while she’s good, I’m not too worried going into this competition.
Dwalin: Dwalin, son of Fundin, and my only goal is to take down Thorin. That’s it. Don’t even care if I win the prize money, but I will be laughing hysterically as he leaves the show.
Dis: I’m Dis, daughter of Fris, single mother of two precious little pebbles, and I want to set an example for them. I’m out to prove that their Uncle Thorin isn’t all that.
Milja: I’m Milja, daughter of Gilla. I have a wonderful husband, and an amazing son, Gimli! I don’t have the legacy in forge crafting that the others do. In fact, my primary medium is gold, not steel or iron. But yeah, I really wouldn’t mind seeing Thorin lose today.
***
The warehouse in the mountain being used as the studio was exactly like Thorin always pictured. There were four forges as well as a table for the judges to sit behind. Thorin inspected the closest one to the judges on the right which is where he would be working. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t as good as his. It was a bit too modern for his tastes, but certainly workable.
Having gone first in his one-on-one with the camera, Thorin was now just waiting around for the others to be finished. He wondered who their judges would be today. Usually there was a master forger, Celebrimor or Narvi. Then a weapons’ expert and that was usually Glorfindel. Then there was the celebrity judge. That one was always different and in Thorin’s opinion, should have the least say considering they didn’t know the craft. He was trying to think if there were any big action movies coming up or anything, but was drawing a blank. Chances were he wouldn’t even know them. Fili would have to be the one to point them out to him later.
Dwalin came out next, taking the back left forge. Thorin smirked over at him, and he merely lifted his chin in challenge. He hoped his cousin didn’t cry when Thorin beat him. A little while later, Dis emerged, and then Milja came out. That’s when the producer explained how things would go from there. They would introduce the judges and then introduce the first challenge. They would be expected to talk and interact with the camera when it came over to their workstation. Narrate the process a bit. Then they would all go back to the one-on-one room where they would do a recap of their thoughts throughout the challenge.
Thorin guessed he never really thought about how they did all the behind the scenes stuff, but it made sense to him. He was just ready to get on with it! It wasn’t long after the producer left that Bard, the host of the show, came out to greet them and shake their hands. Thorin was quite done with the pageantry by this point and was probably a bit curt when he made his way towards him, but he didn’t seem to hold it against Thorin. Besides, he could always count on Dis to gush about how much she loves the show and how he always does a great job. Thorin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sucking up to the host was not going to win it for her.
After making the rounds, Bard took his position up at the front as the camera crew got ready to roll. Thorin could feel his adrenaline spike as he realized this was it. The competition was about to begin. Bard did his little intro to the show and announced the four of them which Thorin knew was where they would plug in their interviews from earlier. He then went into announcing their judges.
“Weapons expert and lore master, Glorfindel.”
The blonde elf gave them a wave before taking the seat furthest from Thorin.
“Forge master, Narvi son of Tavi.”
Thorin actually felt butterflies flutter in his stomach. Narvi was one of the greatest dwarven craftsmen of all time. Just being able to be in the same room as him was a huge honor. It would be the pinnacle of Thorin’s career to impress Narvi with something he created.
“And finally, you may know him from An Unexpected Party and Riddles in the Dark, but here representing the swords’ training he received for his new role in There and Back Again, please welcome our celebrity judge, Bilbo Baggins.”
The little unassuming hobbit gave them a wave and a thousand watt grin as he took the last chair directly in front of Thorin. His jaw didn’t drop, but it was a near thing as his eyes went wide and heart significantly picked up speed. This…could be a problem.
***
Dis: (almost falling out of her seat cackling) Bilbo Baggins?! Thorin has THE BIGGEST crush on him. Oh Mahal, he’s going to completely freeze and I CAN’T WAIT!
***
Thorin couldn’t peel his eyes away, and he swore his breath caught when Bilbo looked over at him and gave him a bright smile and a nod. Thorin was barely even listening to Bard now. His entire attention was taken up with the magnificent being before him. An Unexpected Party was the buddy comedy that was his debut film, but then he shocked everyone by starring in the horror movie: Riddles in the Dark. Thorin didn’t even like horror movies but he went with Frerin, Dwalin, and Nori to see that one.
He just had such an expressive face, and the kind of eyes that could get you to believe what he was trying to convey. In fact, Thorin may have spent hours trying to figure out just what color those eyes were and was stuck somewhere between a navy blue and hazel. Even this close, Thorin still couldn’t tell. He wondered if he would get a chance to speak to him? Oh wait! He was in a competition! He needed to focus.
“The dagger is known for being a fighting knife with a sharp point and two sharp edges on both the top and bottom. Your dagger must be thirty and forty centimeters in length. Otherwise, you can make it in whatever design and whatever technique you want so long as it adheres to the definition of a dagger.”
That was good and fairly standard so Thorin wondered what the twist was?
“As for the materials you have to work with…”
***
Dwalin: Sheet metal?! Do you know how hard it is to take a fifth of a centimeter and turn it into a blade? If I pull this off, I’m going to gift the blade to my boyfriend, Nori.
***
Thorin took a deep breath. Working with sheet metal was certainly going to be a challenge. The only way he could think to do it was to cut the metal into strips, stack it on top of each other, and then try to weld a blade that way. It just made it easier for delaminations, and on a three hour time limit, not enough time to restart if it did happen.
“Your time begins…NOW!”
Everyone ran up to where the sheet metal lay to grab a piece for themselves. As soon as Thorin got back to his station, he used a hair tie to pull his mass of curls into a messy bun on top of his head, one of his braids hanging loose by his chin, and stripped off his outer layers until he was in just a vest and jeans. He put on his safety glasses, his gloves, and his apron, and realized he must look completely ridiculous now. His eyes cut up to Bilbo Baggins whose mouth dropped open slightly as he stared unabashedly at Thorin.
Thorin felt warm as a small pleased smile curled on his face. Was he checking Thorin out? Did he find Thorin attractive as well? Or maybe Thorin was reading it wrong. Maybe Bilbo was appalled by how Thorin looked. Shyly, he lifted his eyes just enough to see Bilbo once more. The hobbit was trying to engage in conversation with Narvi, but every once in awhile, his eyes would cut to Thorin, and his cheeks would pink. Thorin couldn’t believe it. Bilbo Baggins thought he was attractive.
“Two hours and thirty minutes remaining, Blacksmiths!”
Thorin cursed under his breath as he looked down at his measly pile of metal in despair. Thirty minutes have already come and gone, and Thorin hadn’t even put anything in the forge yet. He wouldn’t let himself get distracted anymore. He finished cutting up the sheet metal, making an even stack before carefully easing it into the forge.
Thorin was used to his bigger open flame forge, but made do with what he had as he watched the metal glow red. He heard the sound of a power tool behind him, and spun around to see Dis using the electric press to hammer her metal into shape. Thorin rolled his eyes.
***
Thorin: Sellout. (snort) I’m going to be doing this the way I know best. The old fashioned way.
***
Thorin pulled out his lump of metal with his tongs, grabbed his hammer, and started banging away at it on the anvil. When the metal started to cool, he put it back into the forge, and restarted the process. He lost himself to the rhythm of the act, so much so, that he didn’t even realize anyone was in front of him until they introduced themselves.
“Hello, there.”
Thorin jumped and just about dropped his metal on the ground if it wasn’t for his quick reflexes.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” The voice laughed lightly.
Thorin didn’t know what to do. He was absolutely frozen. Bilbo Baggins was talking to him directly. The hobbit didn’t seem offput by his continued silence as he just smiled brightly at him. Thorin knew he was taller than Bilbo (he may have looked up a couple of times just how much taller), but the stark height difference was squeezing something in his chest that just wanted to pull the hobbit into a tight hug and not let go.
“So I notice you aren’t using the automated tools like the others. Care to explain your process to a novice?”
Thorin watched as Bilbo’s eyes jumped to his flexed bicep before almost sheepishly making eye contact again.
“You know…for the show?” He added softly.
It was at that point that Thorin remembered that there were other people in the room including several TV cameras who were no doubt watching his continued tongue-tied silence. Thorin cleared his throat as he put the metal back into the forge.
“This is the way I’ve learned and have always done it. It was the way taught to me by my father and his father and his father before him.”
Bilbo hummed appreciatively as his pupils dilated.
“A family tradition then. That’s lovely, and very hobbitish if you don’t mind me saying so. Although, our traditions are usually a family recipe or a gardening technique.”
Thorin wanted to ask him at that point what got him into acting then. Bilbo had frequently cited his mother’s adventuring spirit as being the thing to give him the push to go to his first audition, but why do it in the first place? Of course, Thorin couldn’t get a single word out before Bilbo pressed with his next question.
“So can you explain the process to me?”
This was something Thorin definitely could do seeing as he often gave lessons to young up and coming blacksmiths. He took a deep breath, his voice wavering a bit at the beginning before falling into a rhythm he had done hundreds of times. The fact that it was Bilbo Baggins fell away as he became immersed in the sheer joy of his craft and the sharing of it with others. In fact, he hadn’t even realized how much time had passed until he and Bilbo were both startled by Glorfindel’s soft but commanding voice.
“Mister Baggins, would you care to rejoin us?”
They both looked up to see the other judges had already returned to the table and only thirty minutes remained on the clock. Bilbo muttered a quick ‘good luck’ to Thorin before beating a hasty retreat back to his post. Thorin let a shy smile cross his lips before focusing back on his work. Luckily, the conversation with Bilbo had gotten him through most of the shaping process. He was now ready to quench. Using his tongs, he dipped the hot metal into the vat of oil where it went up in a great flame before pulling it back out.
Thorin did a quick examination of the blade, and was actually quite pleased with it. He took out a file and started smoothing out the rough patches as well as giving the blade the beginnings of an edge. When time was called, he was feeling very confident in moving on to the next round.
***
Thorin: No delams, no warps, I’m already thinking about the handle I want to put on my blade for the next round.
Milja: Thank goodness that is over! I think considering the fact that we had to make it from sheet metal I did alright.
Dwalin: This was the worst thing ever! Why did I think going with a canister would be the best way to make this blade. I just know that Thorin is going to be laughing at me.
Dis: I’m looking down at my blade with visible delams and I’m honestly praying to Mahal that I’m not going home first.
***
Thorin eyed the other blades as they were brought up to the judges’ table, trying not to wince at Dwalin’s and Dis’. Clearly, they did not have as easy a time as Thorin did. He even heard them say that Dwalin used a canister to make his! He smirked over at his cousin with a raised eyebrow as the other dwarf scowled back. It was clear to Thorin that one of those two would be leaving this round.
Thorin, on the other hand, received high praise for his blade. Narvi even complimented his even strikes when shaping by hand rather than machine. Thorin could feel the others’ eyes glowering at him, and he soaked it up like sunshine. If Narvi’s comment made Thorin’s day, then Bilbo Baggins’ assessment sent him over the edge.
“I may not know a lot about blade smithing, but I can tell from looking at it as well as our conversation that a lot of love and pride went into crafting it. I would be honored to wield such a blade on set.”
Accompanied with the soft smile he sent down to Thorin, and he thought his heart might just burst from his chest. They were sent out of the room shortly after for the judges to confer. Thorin immediately pounced on Dwalin once they were alone about the canister.
“Bilbo Baggins.” He growled back.
Thorin bristled. “What about him?”
Dwalin laughed, shaking his head. “Could you be more smitten? I almost expect literal hearts to appear in your eyes when he talks to you.”
Thorin felt warm, shooting a glance over to the camera in the corner before glaring at Dwalin.
“I am not smitten. ” He growled.
“Of course you are.” Dis snorted. “But who would have expected the flirting back? I mean ‘I would love to wield your blade.’ What was that about?”
Thorin crossed his arms and grit his teeth together to keep from snapping at his laughing family members. He would think they would be more worried about this elimination than anything that may or may not be going on between him and Bilbo Baggins. Luckily, before he had to endure any more, they were called back into the other room.
Bard announced the judges had come to a decision, and as Thorin feared, Dwalin and Dis were singled out for their blades. The tension was hyped up making them squirm in place when it was announced that Dwalin would be leaving the competition at this time.
***
Dwalin: Whelp, that didn’t go how I wanted it to. Guess it’s up to Dis and Milja now to take down the lover boy. Nori, amrâlimê (my love), I’m bringing you back not money, but a really crappy dagger. I hope you enjoy.
***
They didn’t have long to linger on Dwalin’s absence before Bard was already announcing the next stage of the competition. They would have one hour to clean their blades up, sharpen, and make a handle for them before Glorfindel would test their effectiveness. Thorin already knew the kind of handle he wanted to make and the moment Bard gave them the okay, Thorin was rushing back to his station cutting out more squares of metal from his remaining sheet. It was risky, forging a handle instead of just using wood or polyurethane. However, Thorin knew it was a risk that would pay off.
While his materials were in the forge, Thorin started grinding away to smooth the blade and give it the edges at the end. He would periodically pause to hammer away at his forming hilt before going back to work with the grinder. This was perhaps the fastest he’s ever worked on a blade, and he could feel the sweat building up on his forehead as he rushed back and forth.
Slowly, his hilt was taking shape, but there was only about twenty minutes left. Thorin quenched the hilt, and while it was still hot, used thick metal wire to twist around the handle to give it a good, comfortable grip. He spent the remainder of his time welding it to the tang of his blade, just barely finishing before Bard called time.
“Please present your blades for testing.” Bard instructed.
As they set their blades down at the front, Thorin looked back and forth between them and smirked.
***
Thorin: Wood and polyurethane. Unless I just made a crucial mistake, which I didn’t, I’m definitely moving on to the final round.
Dis: Thorin is a smug bastard, and I hate him right now.
Milja: I had just a little trouble getting the polyurethane to fit over the tang, and I’m really hoping it holds up under the test.
***
Glorfindel stepped up at this point, explaining exactly what he was going to do with the daggers. He was first going to test their edges against a strip of burlap, and then was going to test their ability to penetrate the gel dummy. Thorin was up first. Glorfindel immediately expressed his awe at the weight and handle of Thorin’s design.
“It’s well crafted, and fits my hand really well. Taking the time to forge it was a smart move.”
Thorin shot Dis a knowing grin to which she just scoffed and rolled her eyes. Glorfindel used the blade to slice through the burlap, cutting it completely in two with very little effort. He then moved over to the gel dummy where Thorin’s blade penetrated deep into its guts. Thorin heard soft applause and turned to see Bilbo Baggins was clapping for him all until Narvi raised an eyebrow at him.
“This is definitely a blade that would kill. Well done, Thorin.”
Thorin felt his chest swell with pride. He supposed Dis and Milja could earn the same praise, but he was well assured he was going on to the finals. Milja was up next and her blade seemed to have a little bit of trouble going through the burlap. However, once it got to the gel dummy, it snapped completely at the hilt.
***
Milja: My heart just sunk and I knew immediately at that moment that I was going home. It’s a shame, but honestly I feel bad for everyone on set who now has to stand between that sibling rivalry.
***
Thorin winced, feeling bad for Milja. He hates that she lost out in this way. Although Dis’ could break too, and then it would between the two on the merit of their blades. It didn’t though. Dis’ blade survived the tests although hers certainly didn’t penetrate as deep as Thorin’s much to his satisfaction.
“Milja, I’m sorry, but you will have to leave the forge at this time.” Bard explained.
“I understand. Thank you everyone! Dis, honey, good luck. ”
“Well, looks like we’re left with a bit of a sibling rivalry.” Bard announced after she left. “We will now explain the last challenge. You will have three days to go home to your own forges to complete the task, and then we’ll meet back up here for testing. The final challenge is…creating a Third Age battle axe!”
“YES!” Thorin immediately cheered.
***
Thorin: I have won the battle axe forging competition at the Ered Luin Ren Fair five years in a row. Needless to say, I’m very familiar with the style. Three days will be the quickest I’ve ever made one, but I’m not worried in the slightest.
Dis: Kill me now.
***
Thorin was working out in his forge on creating the head of his axe. The cameras had been out there earlier when he was creating the design for it and explaining how he was going to make it in his open-air forge. He was hammering out the blade side of the axe when someone poked their head in.
“Hello, Thorin. Do you mind if I steal a few moments of your time?”
Thorin’s swing completely missed the metal, banging rather painfully on the anvil as he looked up, eyes wide. Bilbo Baggins stood there with a bright grin, smartly dressed in a white button-down and dark green slacks. Thorin’s brain stuttered to a stop for a long moment as he tried to compute Bilbo Baggins being in his forge. It was like he was in one of his fantasies.
“Uh, Thorin?” Bilbo asked, raising an eyebrow as the silence carried on too long.
“Right.” Thorin answered, shaking his head as he dropped his tools, wiping his hands on his apron. “How can I help you?”
“Well, I admit I was supposed to do this earlier when the cameras were here, but I wanted to ask how you were coming along?”
Thorin looked over at the half-finished head of his axe.
“No, everything’s going well.” He assured.
“That’s good.” Bilbo nodded.
He stuffed his hands into his pockets, ducking his head as he gave Thorin a shy smile.
“Actually, I would love to hear more about your projects. You have such a passion for smithing. It’s really…captivated me. Do you think you would have time to go out for a cup of coffee with me?”
Okay, Thorin was definitely dreaming now. That was the only explanation for Bilbo Baggins asking him out. When was the last time he washed his hair? Despite the strong temptation, he didn’t dare lift up his arm to smell his pit. He already knew it wouldn’t pass the test after spending hours out here next to the fire.
“Is that…a no?” Bilbo asked hesitantly.
Thorin immediately shook his head wildly. “No! I mean, it’s not a no. Uhhh, will you give me a little bit of time to clean up?”
“Of course!” Bilbo grinned brightly. “I’ll just meet you at the cafe. Here, let me give you my number and you can text me when you’re ready.”
Thorin thought his head was going to explode with the amount of blood flooding through his face. Bilbo Baggins was giving him his personal number. Bilbo Baggins was giving him permission to call and text him. It was through numb fingers that he was able to fumble with his phone out of his back pocket and type in the digits offered. He immediately texted him so Bilbo would have his number as well.
“Great! I’ll see you soon.”
“Y-Yeah. See you soon.” Thorin repeated stupidly as Bilbo gave him a big smile and wave before leaving.
Thorin was still standing there unmoving even after Bilbo was completely out of sight. A date. He was going on a date with Bilbo Baggins. Did this technically count as a date? Was it just for the show? The show…
Thorin’s attention turned back towards his unfinished axehead. That’s right. He really needs to be working today. He was technically on a time crunch. A time crunch of three days. If he worked well into the night tomorrow, there’s no reason why he couldn’t take the rest of today off.
He didn’t need to convince himself much further than that. Cleaning up and shutting down the forge as fast as he could, he raced into the house to shower before meeting Bilbo.
***
Producer: Do you regret the amount of time you spent on the axe?
Thorin: Of course not. I completed the challenge, did I not?
Producer: You only spent twenty of your seventy-two hours on it.
Thorin: Which I guess just shows how much I didn’t need it.
***
Thorin presented his axe to the judges where they gathered around, each taking a turn handling it.
“I really like the balance of this weapon, and the grips molded into the handle are a good touch.” Narvi started.
“Agreed.” Glorfindel nodded. “The head is a little smaller than anticipated, but it definitely fits the criteria of a Third Age battle axe.”
Thorin released a small sigh of relief at that. Honestly, it really wasn’t his best work, but he wasn’t disappointed by it either. Bilbo merely smiled at him having been there through every step of the process himself.
“Let’s see how it holds up in testing.” Bard directed.
There were three tests. The gel body test, the wooden wall test, and the shield test. Glorfindel took a hold of the axe and made five swings at the gel body. Each swing cut deep, and the final swing took the head right from the body. Thorin was given much approval and was beaming proudly after the test. The next one had Narvi taking five swings to the wooden wall. There were a couple of beams that split and cracked, but it definitely wasn’t the kind of damage Thorin was hoping for.
The last test saw Thorin’s axe placed in a machine that would swing it down onto a dwarven shield five times. It would test how well his blade head held up against the pressure. Five times it came down upon the shield, and the last time it actually managed to land a dent. Narvi carefully pulled the axe away to look at the sharpened edge.
“There’s no signs of warp or splits, and the edge is still sharp. Well done, Thorin. This is a very skilled axe.”
Thorin felt his chest puff up as he looked over at his sister and raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes as she shoved at his shoulder.
***
Dis: We haven’t even tested mine, and the great lummox can’t help but gloat. (Dis groans and pulls at her hair.) Mahal, I want to beat him so badly.
***
Dis’ axe had a bigger head with a curved blade and a much simpler wooden shaft. It was a good axe, and the judges made sure to tell her so, but Thorin knew it wouldn’t have the same sort of power that his did. They went through the same process as Glorfindel tested it on the gel body. Due to the heft and size of the head, he couldn’t get as deep in his cuts as he did with Thorin’s own. Narvi took over next, and the result was much the same as it was with Thorin’s axe. It would all come down to this last test, and Thorin could practically taste victory.
His eyes landed on Bilbo who looked back at him and smiled. When this was over, Thorin was going to ask him out on a real date. Their gazes reluctantly moved back to the shield test after the axe was loaded into the machine. Same as before, the axe was brought down on the shield in five swings. Each one had Dis fidgeting until the last swing. On the last swing of the blade, the shield split in two.
Everyone stood there, staring at the split shield in amazement. Even Thorin was stunned. Narvi walked over to the blade, noting the same as Thorin that the blade remained intact and sharp. For the first time, Thorin actually felt his confidence waver in this competition. The siblings were dismissed as the judges conferred over the winner.
***
Thorin: I can’t say I wasn’t impressed, but I still have faith in my axe and my abilities.
Dis: That was fantastic! That was incredible! Did you see Thorin’s face? That was almost worth it right there. But will it be enough to win me the title?
***
Thorin and Dis returned to the judges’ table, both of their axes laid out in front of them.
“This was perhaps the closest competition all season.” Bard announced. “The judges were back and forth noting the strength and craft of both weapons. But there can only be one Forged in Arda champion. And that is…”
Thorin didn’t fidget even as the prolonged suspense began to grate on his nerves.
“DIS!”
Thorin felt his jaw drop as his sister gave a whoop of excitement from beside him.
“I DID IT! I BEAT THAT ARROGANT ASSHOLE!” She cheered.
***
“Was that really necessary?” Thorin growled, gesturing towards the TV screen as Dis proceeded to dance around him shouting ‘loser, loser, loser’.
“It wasn’t necessary, but it was hilarious.” Dwalin cackled from his place on the floor.
“Amad (mother) is funny!” Fili giggled as Kili started to take up the chant of ‘loser’.
Dis grabbed them both, cuddling them up against her on the couch as they giggled.
“Amad is funny and more importantly, she’s a winner. Don’t you two ever forget that Amad is better than Uncle Thorin.”
Thorin crossed his arms and rolled his eyes as he sunk deeper into the loveseat. At least until a small hand began to rub up and down his arm.
“Cheer up, Love.” Bilbo hummed with a kiss to his cheek. “You may not have won the competition, but you won my heart.”
Thorin smiled down at his hobbit. “Better than any prize they could have given me.”
“BOO!” The room erupted, throwing popcorn and pretzels at the both of them.
Bilbo squawked, not used to dwarven food throwing yet as Thorin did his best to shield him.
“Actually, let’s watch that part again.” Dwalin smirked as he rewound the episode to where Thorin first laid eyes on Bilbo.
The crew had obscured the background to generic pink floating hearts as Careless Whisper played while Thorin’s face reacted in slow motion. Thorin jumped to his feet mumbling about needing a beer as he marched out of the room, the rest of his family laughing. He hoped they enjoyed it while they could. Because Thorin just signed them up for Dwarven Warrior, and he was going to enjoy wiping the floor with them.