Chapter Text
Mirrors…Mira hated mirrors…they reflected the real person she was. The mirror Mira hated the most was the one in down the hall, right between to Rumi's room and the kitchen…it was their shared bathroom so she couldn't just shatter it, break it, or even cover it. It would raise questions she herself couldn't even answer.
~~~~06:57~~~~
The sun seeped through the thin curtains of her room. Bathing her in soft golden light as she started to shift. A soft reluctant groan left her as she blinked her eyes open. Slowly letting them adjust to the sunlight.
The girls had practice later that day. It was at 1400(2pm) but since she was already up, why not.
She slowly reached over to the nightstand for her glasses. Slipping them on before kicking her sheets off. Not caring where they landed. Something her parents would have hated.
Dragging herself into the bathroom, sitting at the edge of the tub and turning the shower tap on. Testing the water with the tip of her fingers before plugging the bathtub to let the water fill the tub. After making sure the tub was properly plugged she made her way to sink.
Picking up her toothbrush and toothpaste. Not bothering to even look at herself in mirror. It was useless like her anyways.A small missing piece pinning exactly where she had punch it. Cracks blossoming around it like roots of a stubborn tree that simply refuses to be uprooted from the ground.
No one was allowed in her room for a reason.
After brushing her teeth and washing her face she slowly slipped off her clothes. Careful and hesitant like someone was watching…
She quickly slipped into the bathtub. Letting the hot water envelope her like a soft embrace. Letting her muscles relax as much as possible before she have to spend 5 hours on one spot signing posters, taking photos, and smile till her cheeks were permanently stuck there. Maybe that'd be a good thing. She wouldn't have to strain fake smile everytime someone looks her way.
~~~~08:36~~~~
Mira had gotten used to the quiet mornings. Neither or the girls were ever awake before 10:00(Unless they had plans).
It was programmed into her since young. "Wake up early or starve until school ends." Yeah she hated it but she couldn't help it. Once she was awake, she was awake until she took her insomnia pills again.
She liked it though. Not waking up early, never waking up early. She liked making breakfast for her girls. It made her feel useful.
Breakfast was always something light, filling, and nutritional. They're 3 month hiatus was still 2 weeks away. During their "working days" they never had time to have proper meals- not counting breakfast of course -since their always on the move. Always ordering take out or buying microwave meals.
Today was going to be a long day. So? She made Dakjuk. Simple, warm, yet filling.
Soft music playing in the background. She would have played some K/DA but let's be real, it's 8- almost 9, in the morning. She learnt the hard way that if those 2 girls didn't wake up naturally by themselves they'd be fussy all day. Mostly Zoey. The inner workaholic in Rumi won't allow Rumi to be fussy the whole day. Zoey on the other hand…was a story for another time.
(Zoey so real for the. Anyways!- back to the story. :^)
Mira started washing and peeling the vegetables when Sussie and Derpy appeared. They liked visiting Mira in the morning. They always get something to eat. For the bird? It was the peels of the vegetables. Don't ask. It just likes it.
Mira had tried to give it the proper part of the vegetables but that damn bird always looks at her like she had just offered it rubbish.
The tiger? It ate anything as long as it was cooked. Rice, vegetables, meat, chips, and heck- it even eats cereal with milk.
"Aren't cats lactose intolerant?" Yeah but 1, this was a tiger. 2, it's a demon. Their probably dead. Cause nothing they eat has ever affected them.
Even so- how will you explain to the vet why you own a tiger THAT'S BLUE and a bird with 6 eyes? You simply can't.
~~~~09:02~~~~
"Ohhhh…myyyyy…goshhhhh…it smells so good!"
Zoey was first to wake up, and surprisingly not after 10.
The chicken had just finished steaming. Mira now had it on the cutting board. Zoey popped up between her and the counter. In-between Mira's arms.
"Are you making Dakjuk? Can I steal a piece? Just a small piece!"
Mira let out a soft chuckle before grabbing the knife.
"No hands on the counter."
Zoey immediately retracted her hands.
After Mira made sure Zoey wasn't at risk of loosing a finger, she cut a small slice of steamed chicken and fed it to Zoey who giggled like a child. Mira loved her…
"Ohh…so good! Can I get more?!"
"No Zoey. The rest is for the Dakjuk. You can get more along with the actual breakfast after you shower and brush your teeth."
"Awww…come one Mir…pleasssseee!"
"Nope."
"Ehh…I tried…"
Zoey reluctantly left to shower. Not without stealing another small piece of chicken when Mira wasn't looking though.
Mira saw it out of the corner of her eye of course. She didn't say anything of course. It made Zoey happy. If Zoey was happy, so was she. Plus, it was just a small piece of chicken. Nothing to fuss over other then the fact it was gross anyone would eat before brushing.
~~~~09:27~~~~
The sound of a door creaking open could be heard. They really needed to get those doors fixed. Or oiled at the very least.
Mira expected her sweet maknae to appear. Only to be greeted by her Unnie. Not that she was complaining.
"Morning Mir…what cha cooking?"
"Morning Ru. I'm making Dakjuk."
Rumi was wearing one of Mira's silk pajamas. She didn't have any proper sleep wear due to her past of constantly hiding her patterns.
Mira wasn't complaining though. Rumi looked beautiful in mornings. Hair down and her patterns slightly golden like streaks of sunlight glowing on a lake in the morning …Rumi was her sunlight…Zoey was her sun…they were her warmth…Mira loved them so much…
"Nice…"
"Want to help me taste test?"
"Sure."
Mira grabbed a spoon, scooping a spoonful before carefully blowing on it. With a steady hand, she fed Rumi. Who immediately became wide and alert.
"MNNN!"
"Too hot? Did it burn you?! Do you need water?! Ice?! Sorry! I thoug-"
"No. No. No. I mean- It good! Like- really good."
Mira sighed in relief. She thought she hadn't blown on it enough and had fed Rumi a spoon of lava.
"Oh. That's good. I thought I cooked your tongue."
Rumi let out a light airy laugh.
"You have never let that happen. But actually though. It's really good."
"Thanks Ru."
That's when their maknae came skipping in.
"Oh- morning Rumi!"
"Morning Zy" (Its pronounce Zi :D)
"Have you tried the Dakjuk Mira made? It's so good."
"No I haven't. I try the chicken it's though. Don't know how you do it Mira. Its doesn't taste like regular steamed chicken."
As they chatted, Mira had already cooled down a spoonful of Dakjuk for Zoey.
"I have my ways. Here."
She fed Zoey and got an almost if not a bigger reaction.
"Oh my honmoon! I need me the whole pot! Now!"
"That good huh? You can't have the whole pot Zoey. If there's leftovers you can have it alright? But first. Let's start with NORMAL portions."
"Man…"
~~~~09:42~~~~
They sat in the living room. Rumi on the couch, hair in a simple ponytail. Zoey sitting on Rumi's left on the floor. Her bowl was…big…to say the least.
Mira sat on Rumi's right, also on the floor with a smaller bowl…she never ate much in the morning. Claiming she never had a big appetite in the mornings. They didn't quite buy it at first but when it started becoming a regular thing they let it go.
Mira wasn't use to people's care and concern…she simply couldn't process how someone that wasn't linked to her by blood could show her such…affection…
You don't deserve them.
You're nothing compared to them.
You raised your weapon at Rumi.
You pushed Zoey away.
You don't deserve lov-
"Mira?…"
"Huh? Yeah? Sorry. Spaced out for a while. What did you say?"
"Mira…are you okay?…you've been spacing out alot since…-Gwi-Ma's death. Since you raised your weapon at Rumi. Since you pushed me away.-"
You don't deserve their care.
They have every right to hate you.
They don't really care.
Your replaceable.
"Y-yeah! Yeah…I'm fine…"
"You sure?…is it about the choreography? We swear it's great Mira."
"Mhm."
"N-no. It's not that. Just tired…insomnia acting up last night. I'm fine."
"Alright…don't push yourself okay?"
"Zoey's right. We can always postpone practice and do it another day."
"Your health is more important to us, to the fans, the Honmoon, and mostly yourself."
Mira just nodded quietly. A soft smile that seemed genuine but didn't quite reach her eyes.
~~~~14:00~~~~
"Alright. Stretch girls, stretch those muscles! I just want to practice to flow like water! Cramps are preventable so let's do that!"
Bobby instructed, standing right next to Mira's custom greyish-blue JBL speaker.
Rumi led the warm up. Making sure they did it well and did it right. She didn't want her girls to get a cramp mid practice.
She learned from personal experience that cramps were weird and painful. You could see the muscles moving and cramping under the skin. It just gave her the worst icks.
"Alright, left arm over right. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 8. Switch. 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8"
~~~~14:12~~~~
Mira lead their choreography. She made it so it was obvious.
She stood in the center. Her moments intense, sharp yet graceful, her expression seemed focus but a million thoughts were running through her head.
Whenever her mind was in distress, she always used dancing as a way to let out tension. She'd dance till her muscles were sore, till her heart ached from racing so face, till her face was flushed red, till she couldn't remember why she started dancing. Distract her from reality, but being disconnected from reality meant she felt no pain…no tension…no thoughts…just her, the music, and her girls…it made her stoic…cold…harsh…
"Rumi, you hesitated. Zoey, you missed your step. Sharpen up."
Rumi and Zoey were use to it. They knew Mira didn't like fooling around when it can to their practice. But today…no- not just today. Ever since the idol award, something changed…something so deep they couldn't dig out…they didn't know if it was them…or Mira…but practice felt more…intense.
Whenever they confronted Mira about it the taller would brush it off as being prepared for the worse.
They tried to understand, they really did. They wanted to believe that was the case but they just couldn't. They knew it ran deeper then that. Knowing Mira, they didn't want to push. If they pushed too far she would retreat to her shell…they didn't want that. Not after they spent 3 years just to get Mira comfortable with them.
Practice was intense. Every small flaw was quickly pointed out by Mira's sharp eyes.
"Off beat. Again. From the top."
Mira moved like she had a battery charged off their sweat.
~~~~15:57~~~~
"Alright girls. Let's do this smooth one last time. Just a quick buff up and go to that new ramyeon restaurant that just opened!"
Rumi and Zoey immediately sprung up. New found energy coursing through them.
"Okay Bobby!"
Mira didn't respond. She should be happy…ecstatic even…she loves ramyeon…but she didn't…she didn't know what was wrong with her…maybe it was their intense practice…
"Mira?"
Her maknae called out. A gentle hand on the small of Mira's back. The touch sent sharp and cold needles up her spine, making her tense.
"You've been…off…lately…is something wrong? What's going on…you know you can tell us anything, right?"
"Yeah, I know…just…"
Just because you say I can tell you everything doesn't make it any easier for me to tell you anything. It doesn't make it easier for me to tell you I can't sleep without pills, I can't get Gwi-Ma's voice and my parents' voices out of my head, I can't get the sight of Rumi on that stage and before my raised blade out of my head, I can't get Rumi's scarred voice out of my head, I can't stop thinking about how I pushed you away, how I let Gwi-ma control me and let him get to my head.
"Mira. Mira? Mira!"
Mira's world went blurry. Time was speeding past her too fast. The room started spinning. Her heartrate elevated on Bobby's tablet. Tears falling, body swaying as her body started to tremble, knees giving out from under her, her mind spiraling into the deep abyss of her mind.
Zoey caught Mira in her arms. Despite her small statue, she was strong. Holding Mira up as she slowly lowered her to the ground. Making Mira sit on the ground, legs stretched out just incase blood circulation was the problem. She knelt by the taller woman's side. Letting Mira rest her head in the crook of her neck, letting her cling on like a lifeline as Mira trembled and gasped for air.
Rumi was going over lyrics with Bobby when she noticed Mira's spiked heart rate on Bobby's tablet. Rumi's head quickly snapped to Mira and Zoey. Her eyes blowing wide.
Mira was strong, like a dam. It was obvious. Like, the sky is blue, water is a liquid, sugar is sweet, Mira was strong. So seeing Mira cry was like watching a sturdy dam crack after years of holding water back.
"Mira…Oh Mira…"
Rumi quickly settled herself on Mira's free side. Carefully taking Mira away from Zoey. No words needed as Mira moved and cling to her. One arm wrapped Mira's shoulder from infront, the other arm wrapping around Mira's waist as she pulled the younger woman into her embrace.
Mira couldn't bare the guilt. She hurt them…she pushed them away…why were they comforting her? Why were they here? Mira couldn't comprehend their care as she kept spiraling.
"I'm s-sorry…sorry…so sorry…I'm sorry…sorry…sorry…"