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"Mommy and I have Identical Scars, Isn’t that Cool?”

Summary:

People think starting over is the brave part.

But brave was leaving him in the middle of the night with my baby in my arms and blood in my mouth.

It’s been two months. I have a new job. A new apartment. A daughter who still flinches in her sleep and clings to me like I’m the only solid ground.

I won't talk about what he did. I don’t tell my new coworkers that I’m a mom. And I definitely don’t tell anyone I’m still scared.
But secrets don’t stay buried, and men like him don’t let go.

 

Two months after leaving the man who broke her heart, her body, and nearly her spirit, Detective Lucy Chen is starting over — on paper, at least. A new precinct, a new badge number, and a new version of herself: composed, respected, unreadable.

But at home, her three-year-old daughter Liora still wakes up crying in the dark. Still crawls into Lucy’s arms like safety is something she has to relearn. Still needs blood sugar checks at 3AM. (Though this will never change) And Lucy? She hasn’t told a soul at the station that she’s a mother — or that she’s running from the kind of past that leaves marks no one can see.

Notes:

Information to know before reading:

Amorcito means Sweetheart
Carino means Dear

Mentions of Domestic Abuse (Past)
Mentions of Child Abuse (Past)
Mentions of Toddler with T1D
Mentions of a Drug Bust

If any of the previous subjects make you uncomfortable, you do not have to read, and I will see you next time. If you are coming along for the ride, be warned bc it can get a little bumpy.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 1: Blue Button-Ups and Baby Bows.

Chapter Text

Lucy’s Pov:

Muffled whimpers wake me up from the room across the hall; the sounds of my crying daughter are my alarm clock for the day.

Walking into the room, I can see her tear-stained face peaking out from between the bars of her crib. Her pacifier bobbles in her mouth, and her hands are reaching up, begging for comfort.

I pick her up and sit down in the rocking chair, rocking her back and forth. I check her levels to see if that is the problem but her blood sugar is at 130 which is normal for her.

“What has gotten my baby so upset?” I ask her. She doesn’t answer, instead burying her face into my neck.

I wait a few minutes before asking again. This time, she answered.

“Wan Mommy.”

It takes me a second to realize what she wants, but once I do, I start to move instantly.

I pick her up and walk her to my room before tucking us both into bed. I unsnap my bra and wait until she latches. Once she does, I start running my fingers through her hair, luring her to sleep.

Even though Liora is three I still breastfeed her. It is the only thing that will calm her down sometimes.

When Liora is back asleep, I shift her off of me, and get up to start getting ready for the day. First I get up and go into my closet, picking out a simple silky blue button up and a pair of black slacks and laying them at the bottom of my bed along with some underwear and a new bra, before I go into the bathroom to take a quick shower. I leave the door open to listen out for Liora while I wash.

Once I am done, I quickly dry off and lotion before stepping back into my bedroom and putting my clothes on. I slightly coiled the front strands of my wet hair before making my way across the hallway into Li’s room and picking out something she could wear to day care.

I end up going with a cute baby bubble pairing it with a pink bow.

Liora has a ton of hair for someone her age so I do that first. I brush all of the tangles out before throwing it into a side ponytail.

I successfully get her dressed while she is still sleeping and grab her lunch and bag before I put her in her carseat so we can head out.

I get to Liora’s daycare fairly fast. The sun is still hidden behind the moon. I walk inside with her, her limp form is a dead give away that she is deep into dreamland. I gently lay her down onto her assigned cot before walking out and heading to work.

The drive from the daycare to the station is short but it feels way too long.

When I pull into the parking lot, I only notice one other car in here with me. I can only imagine it belongs to the Captain. I think about pulling into the garage like everyone else but the carseat in my backseat makes me decide against it.

I am not going to keep Liora a secret forever but I want to get settled first. I want them to know that I am a great cop before all of the assumptions start coming in.

I gather all of my stuff, including my gym bag for later before I head into the station.

The station looks nothing like my old one. It is lit up by windows and almost all the walls are glass.

I look up the steps to see the lights on in the Captain’s office. I walk up and knock three times. Waiting for her to wave me in before I open the door and enter.

“Hello, Captain Anderson. I am Detective Lucy Chen.”

She takes her glasses off and looks up from her computer before nodding.
“Yes, hello detective. I’ve heard very highly and can not wait for you to start with us.”

Some fear washes from my face when she said that.

“Your locker is 2332 and you will get all of the rest of the information you need from Sargent Grey after roll call, which you are expected to attend everyday.”

I nod in understanding before I leave to put my stuff in my locker.

As soon as I open the locker room door, two sets of eyes land on me. They quickly look at each other before going back to their respective duties. I put my bags into my locker quickly, making sure to keep the little bag with the things for my desk before I leave the locker room.

Angela’s Pov:

Nyla and I are in the locker room getting changed for the day when the door swings open. We quickly glimpse at the door to see a new face. We look at each other for a second before going back to what we were doing seconds prior.

We both finish getting dressed while the new girl puts her stuff into her locker. She leaves as quickly as she came.

I look at Nyla, waiting for her to look back at me before I begin speaking.

“I didn’t know we were getting new rookies.”

Nyla looks at me with that same amount of confusion on her face.

“I had no clue. Which is weird because we usually know this kind of thing.”

Me and Nyla walk out of the locker room just as everyone is floating into roll call. We quickly get in there before it starts.

Lucy’s Pov:
As everyone is filtering into the roll call room I get told by who I am assuming is Sargent Grey to sit in the front row on the left. So I do as I’m told.

In the row aside from me I see the rookies, telling by their long sleeves. Celina and West.

After everyone was seated, Sargent Grey went up into the front to start roll call. He started with leftover cases from nightshift but when he finished he called me up to the front.

As soon as I was in the front my eyes connected with the two women from earlier. They are the only other two that aren’t in uniform so I suspect I will be working closely with them.

“Hello,” I wave to the small crowd. “I am Detective Lucy Chen badge number 28537.”

I looked at Grey to see if that was all I needed to say, once he nodded I made it back to my seat.

He finishes roll call quickly after that and soon we are all dismissed.