Work Text:
Spring 4, 8:28 AM
I awoke this morning filled with a determination the likes of which I've not felt in many weeks. It is not that my manuscript is no longer a plague upon my desk. Quite the opposite, in fact! I have been so wracked with frustrations and dead-end solutions that I can scarcely eat. I can scarcely sleep! Something must be done, and as my most trusted university advisor always said, an uncluttered writing space is the most important ingredient for an uncluttered mind. Thus, this is certainly the right time — nay, it is the only time — to embark on this most accursed of missions. I cannot go on with my work until every last grain of sand has been banished from these four walls.
This cellular phone normally does nothing but vex and distract me, but it's occurred to me that for today, it could be a valuable asset. Did the great writers of the past not record their thoughts for later reflection? Perhaps if I chronicle this miserable, endless procedure, it will be easier to access those same emotions in the future, to cast them upon my characters and, in the process, build a richer story. Perhaps I will revisit these "voice memos" and be reinvigorated by my victory. And it will be a victory, for I refuse to let the sand defeat me. Now that I’ve spent a full year in this shack, I am sure that my methods for sweeping and scrubbing are more than sufficient. There will be nary a granule in this humble abode by the time I'm finished, and surely I will be rewarded with words that flow from my mind effortlessly onto the pages.
My day shall begin in the kitchenette. What better place to start than the back-most part of my home? As my outdoor shoes rarely make it that far into the space, it will surely be the cleanest. It will therefore provide me with an easy success, a jolt to the system that will invigorate me through the afternoon. And with that, Cellular Phone, I will leave you for now.
9:31 AM
Well, that was… ghastly. I will never understand how so many of these diabolical little grains found their way onto that particular floor, but no matter. They have been tamed into the neatest of piles and discarded, resting atop the trash in the bin as a warning to their brethren. I will have to return with the vacuum cleaner for the dastardly bits that remain trapped in the cracks and crevices, but that will be best saved for the end of this journey. It will be most satisfying to run the vacuum without the constant clacking. I will endeavor to tolerate some clacking in the interest of a thorough job.
Oh, and I would be remiss, Cellular Phone, if I did not recount my battle with the fridge! Moving the massive thing was an ordeal in its own right, and then the sheer volume of sand that emerged from beneath it! Has a feline intruder been breaking in without my knowledge, batting sand under the appliances for its amusement? Has the crab that so often nestles in my shirt pockets been gathering it for some nefarious purpose?
…No, no, there is hardly any need to become hysterical. One area has been cleaned, and it took no more than an hour. I do believe that is excellent progress!
10:07 AM
I have done the most foolish thing, Cellular Phone. It must have set my progress back by hours, if not days. And to think, it was all for the sake of efficiency! You see, I had hoped to speed up the sweeping process in the dining and living areas by propping my front door open. I had expected a twofold success: both easy access to the sand’s natural habitat, and a gentle spring breeze to further motivate me.
Perhaps you already know what’s coming, my digital companion, for my buffoonery indicates that you are the more intelligent person in this relationship. Yes, as you have no doubt guessed, the most ferocious gust of wind blew in through my doorway, carrying a frightful amount of sand along with it. Of course I dashed to the door and closed it immediately, but it was far too late.
With a heavy heart, I bid you adieu once more. I must apologize to the dustpan for my most heinous betrayal in abandoning it. An even more heinous miscalculation, truly, to cast an ally almost literally to the wind!
11:53 AM
Cellular Phone, I cannot begin to properly articulate the mess I have made for myself by opening that blasted door. The sand just kept emerging! Every time I believed to have sorted out a corner, more sand seemed to crunch under my feet, mocking me at every turn. Nearly two hours since my last recording! I expect to have new calluses from the broom on my palms to rival those from my pen when I finally wake from this nightmare.
There is still much more to tackle of the sitting area. Both chairs need to be moved, of course, and the piano must come away from the wall. However, I find myself in dire need of a rest for recalibration. It is far too early for wine, unfortunately, but perhaps a cup of tea will soothe my fraying nerves. I shall even take an early lunch for more energy. I’ll return to the kitchenette, very carefully, so as not to drag more sand into my only clean space, and come back to you a renewed man.
12:01 PM
The sink! I don’t understand how I could have forgotten the sink! One could practically hold a sandcastle competition in the space underneath it, and there are always a few stubborn grains nestling behind the basin. My teatime will have to wait. I could not possibly stomach a meal knowing that I have been so neglectful in my efforts!
2:16 PM
I’ve just emerged from quite a daze, halted only by the growling of my stomach. Once the sink was properly cleaned, a number of stragglers caught my eye in the corner nearest to it. That sent me right back into the sitting area, checking along the baseboards for any stealthier granules. Of course, I then had to overturn the whole dining area, and moved the piano after that, and then the rest of the furniture… Dustpan appears to have forgiven my transgressions, at least, and Broom has remained a trusted ally. Alas, we are only an army of three against millions! I must do away with silly notions of rest and nourishment. A singular focus is necessary if I intend to conquer this battle today, and I must remain a steadfast general in this battle of wits.
Wait… wait, what is… Cellular Phone, please excuse me a moment.
2:18 PM
How could there possibly be more under the fridge?! If I catch that damned crab in the act, the wretched creature will never again know the safety and warmth of my shirt pocket! Let it try to clasp my fingers betwixt its claws as I fling it into the ocean! He shall be lucky that I banish him to his natural habitat rather than crushing him beneath my feet!
…I apologize sincerely for that outburst, Cellular Phone. I am not typically a violent man. In fact, I detest what this sand has made of me! I must express my anger toward the correct target, lest I lose sight of this most important of missions.
2:52 PM
Alright, the fridge has been moved again, and I have done a thorough check of the kitchenette again. I have also held Broom and Dustpan out of an open window, to shake them clean and prevent any grains of sand from clinging to them — waiting until my back is turned to strike, no doubt! I am certain that this brief period of wind has undone my efforts in the sitting area again, but… but no matter. A slight change of scenery would serve me well, I think. The bedroom will be my next target. I am already breathing more easily at the mere thought of entering my sanctuary.
3:15 PM
Of all the miserable, vile events that have ever taken place in this home! I could simply strangle my past self for his carelessness in how the furniture was arranged. And don't think for one second, Cellular Phone, that Dustpan was not also at fault, for that traitor has played a significant role! Stumbling over the leg of the bed frame would not be nearly so horrific if Dustpan was not so inept at its sole job in this cruel, uncaring world. Was this your plan all along, you vicious, unforgiving disgrace?! Was I not punished enough for trusting the doorway already?
Oh, don’t give me that look, Broom, I can see right through that masquerade costume of pity. We both know that you’ve been colluding with the sand all along. What a fool I was to think that merely shaking you out of a window would be enough to sever your alliance! Were I not feeling so lightheaded with rage, I would march right outside and throw you into the sea with your little crab friend! Let Poseidon handle the lot of you! And I hope he will be a harsh judge and jury, for there is no mortal punishment fitting enough!
I am… I am perhaps lightheaded with more than rage, this tirade has taken quite a lot out of me. A splash of cold water on my face would work wonders.
3:18 PM
THE SAND IS INSIDE THE PIPES! I have rubbed it on my skin as if inviting it to become a part of my very soul! It laughs as it scratches me! It guffaws as it scatters itself in the basin! Who allowed this horrid shack to be built? Nay, it is not even a shack, it is a monument to my torment! It is an offering to a deity who knows no mercy, no compassion, knows nothing but SAND!
3:57 PM
I lie on my unclean floor a broken man, a shell of the vibrant soul who once believed in life’s gentle goodness. Should anyone find me after I am finally ended for good, I hope that they remember all that I was before this moment. I hope that when my very flesh is devoured and my bones are polished by this endless sea of sand, that the god who has broken me deems me worthy of a peaceful afterlife. Adieu, Cellular Phone, my one true companion in this madness, for one final time.
———————————
Leah was just diving into her regular order from the Stardrop Saloon when Willy approached her table, face deeply serious. “Lass, have ye spoken with Elliott today?”
“No, why?” she asked, head cocked with curiosity.
“I overheard some… troublin’ things while I was fishing this afternoon.”
Leah sighed as she dropped her fork, familiar with that phrasing from Willy by now. “He tried to clean the shack again?”
“Aye.”
She pushed her chair back, downed the rest of her glass of wine in one gulp, and stopped at the bar to buy a whole bottle before she left the saloon. It wouldn’t be nearly enough, but it would at least take the edge off of what was sure to be an interesting night.