Work Text:
Two little boys
Met each other on the playground
Alex sprinted as fast as he could away from Oliver.
"You can't catch meeee," he hollered, turning his head to stick his tongue out. His curly chocolate brown hair was bouncing all over the place.
Nick watched Alex carefully, wondering what about him caused everyone to want to be his friend. He turned to scan the playground for someone he could potentially talk to. The next second he was on his side, Alex sprawled out on top of him.
"Sorry!" Alex rolled off Nick and got up quickly, reaching out to help Nick up. He couldn't help but notice how bright Nick's green eyes were and the way his honey blonde hair was sitting perfectly on top of his head.
"It's fine, I didn't get hurt."
Alex was gone in a flash, scrambling up the stairs on the playground.
Just like the rest
Didn't stick out from the crowd
"...you'll have to make a conversation with your partner, and then make a list of ten things you found out about them." Mrs. Hook, their 1st grade teacher, came around handing out pieces of lined paper.
This was the first time Nick and Alex had really talked to each other. Their teacher had made sure to pair up people who weren't friends.
Alex took lead of the conversation, starting off with a simple, "what's your favorite color?"
Ten minutes later, they sat in silence, only the sound of pencils on paper in the air.
Nick and Alex sat next to each other for the rest of the year. Mrs. Hook had seen how well the boys worked together and did everything she could to help them become friends.
Mrs. Hook's efforts had payed off. Nick and Alex were soon inseparable. By 2nd grade, they were being placed on opposite sides of the room.
But between themselves
They knew that they were different
But they pushed it down
'Cause nobody would even listen
Now they were in 6th grade. Alex had come over to Nick's house to work on a science project.
Nick unrolled their poster and used whatever was nearby to keep it from rolling back up. "If we finish this as fast as we can then we can watch something. You can trace this section," he pointed to a part of it that was done in pencil, "while I color this section."
Twenty minutes later, the boys stepped back to admire their hard work before they turned to face each other. Each boy could tell exactly what the other was thinking and without a sound, they turned to sprint down staircase that lead to the basement.
Alex flung himself onto the beige sofa while Nick grabbed the remote. He watched as Nick approached the sofa and sat on his legs without hesitation.
"Move your fat ass," Alex groaned, trying to free his legs.
Nick playfully rolled his eyes and stood up, allowing Alex just enough time to turn and sit up. He turned on the TV, opened up Netflix and hovered over Heartstopper. It was dead silent for a second while they both listened carefully for footsteps upstairs.
A few days ago, when they first agreed to watch Heartstopper, Nick had mentioned that his parents wouldn't like it if they were to find out. So they made sure nobody would walk in before they started it. They were now on episode 4, and completely addicted.
Twenty minutes later, they were both so invested in the show that they didn't hear the footsteps coming down the stairs. Of course Nick's dad had to walk in right when Nick and Charlie were making out on four different parts of the screen.
Their parents always saying
"Boy when you grow up
you're gonna find a nice lady
make sure you act tough
you'll be living a life like Barbie and Ken
now c'mon suck it up
and forget this nonsense"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING," Nick's father's voice boomed.
Nick quickly paused the episode, which turned out to be a bad idea. Now the TV was displaying two boys, lips locked, one laying on top of the other.
Alex froze, too scared to even turn around. Did Nick know this was how his dad would react? Is this why they had to be so careful?
"I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO SUPPORT SINNERS," Nick was staring intently at the coffee table in front of him, flinching at his dad's voice. "DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE ONE TOO," his dad had moved to stand in front of them, blocking the TV from Nick and Alex's view.
Alex could feel his heart beating harder than he had ever felt before. He carefully turned to look at Nick, noticing how he was holding his breath, eyes brimming with tears.
"YOU'RE GOING TO FIND A GIRL AND MARRY HER," Nick's father continued, his face bright red.
Alex saw how Nick was blinking back tears.
"NO SON OF MINE WILL END UP IN HELL WITH THOSE... THINGS!" He seethed.
Alex saw how Nick's fists were clenched.
"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!"
Alex saw how after one tear fell, the rest followed.
"YOU WERE NEVER GOOD AT SPORTS!"
Alex saw how once Nick let go of his breath, his breathing became shallow. Rapid.
"ALWAYS WITH YOUR HEAD IN A FUCKING BOOK!" Now Nick's dad was foaming at the mouth.
Alex saw how Nick was biting his lip, hard, trying to stop the tears.
"YOU ARE NOT MY SON!"
Alex saw Nick close his eyes and try to control his breathing.
"YOU ARE NOT THE BOY I RAISED!" His eyes were furious.
Nick's dad grabbed Nick harshly by the shoulder.
"LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU," Alex could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears as Nick looked up, "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING."
What if he wants Ken not Barbie?
Why should he have to say sorry?
Tell me are you even listening
to all the dumb shit your slippin'
It had been a year since the incident. Alex had tried talking to Nick about it, asking if his dad had done anything else, but Nick always changed the subject or straight up ignored him. Was Nick gay? But why did it matter? He was still Alex's best friend.
Alex hadn't been invited back to Nick's house. The one time he had tried, a month after the incident, Nick's raw emotions had stopped him.
"I can walk home with you. I'm planning to go to 7-11," he had lied.
"Okay."
Once they reached his house, Alex had made an excuse to get inside.
"I haven't seen your sister in a while. Is she home?"
Nick hadn't bought it. His eyes immediately filled with panic and worry when he realized what Alex was trying to do.
"No. You should leave," Nick's voice cracked.
"Oh... wait, didn't you guys renovate the basement? Can I see it?"
"Alex, you need to go," Nick had tears in his eyes, "Thank you, but I'm fine."
"WHO IS THAT!" Alex could never forget that voice.
"Nick-" the door was slammed in his face.
We can love who we want to
Don't say he's not supposed to
If he loves Ken not Barbie
He doesn't have to say sorry
They were 17 now. To Nick, it felt like the incident had happened forever ago. But Alex never let him forget it.
Nick hated the way Alex didn't stop trying. He hated the way he couldn't stop thinking about Alex. But most of all, he hated his father. Nick was gay. He had realized that the day Alex had tried to come inside, using his stupid lame excuses and with that stupid expression on his face. He had realized that he liked Alex. Fuck that, he loved Alex.
He loved his stupid smile. His stupid laugh. His stupid jokes that he would make and the way they could always make Nick laugh. He loved how much Alex cared and worried about him. He loved the way Alex never gave up. The way he was always there for Nick. He never asked questions. He never pushed too hard.
Nick's parents were not the best. He knew that. He knew they would never accept him for who he is. Even his mom had yelled at him because he wasn't being 'manly enough,' whatever the hell that meant.
But today he didn't give a fuck what the world thought. His life couldn't get any worse than this. He had read a million romance books and they all said the same thing. Just tell the person you love that you love them. Everything always worked out in the end. So that was exactly what Nick was going to do.
No, not to you
Not to me
Not to anyone, anyone, anyone
Not to you
Not to me
Not to anyone, anyone, anyone
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Nick's dad yelled, making Nick flinch.
Nick ran upstairs and quickly shoved some clothes and a toothbrush into a backpack, leaving without another word. He didn't even think about where he was going, but his feet carried him to Alex's house.
He hesitated for a second, hand hovering over the doorbell, and then told himself This is my only option. I don't have a choice. He pressed the doorbell.
Ding-dong!
Nick waited for a long ten seconds before he heard footsteps and the door swung open. Alex was standing in the doorway, staring at Nick in shock.
"Hi...?" Nick's voice was barely above a whisper.
"What are you doing here? Did something happen?" Alex spoke in an increasingly urgent tone, "did your dad do something?"
Nick couldn't hold it in anymore. He stumbled into Alex's arms, his body wracking with sobs.
Alex didn't say a word, leading Nick to his room and throwing his mom a meaningful glance. He helped Nick sit down on the edge of his bed and hugged him until his crying slowed down. He rubbed circles on Nick's back and whispered into his ear.
"You're okay, you're with me, you're safe. Take a deep breath in... And out..." he repeated that until Nick's breathing was closer to normal.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Nick nodded furiously but couldn't seem to get out the words. He started crying harder.
"Maybe you could write it down?" Alex was lost and scared, trying to figure out how to help the boy he loved. Wait... that can't be right.
But it is... This made Alex even more scared, just wanting to make Nick feel better.
Nick pulled out his phone and started typing.
My dad started yelling at me again. But for no reason! and he told me to leave
"Oh..." Alex was at loss for words.
I just packed some stuff and left. I didn't know where else to go. More tears fell.
"You can stay here of you want. I'm sure my mom will be fine with it, plus we don't have school tomorrow."
"Thank you," Nick croaked out.
"You shouldn't have to thank me," Alex tried to hide his blush, "any reasonable person would have done the same."
"Can I sleep now?" Nick asked cautiously.
"Of course! Is it okay if we share my bed?" By now Alex was the same color as a tomato, "My sleeping bag is somewhere up in the attic."
"Yeah," Nick was already half asleep.
"Okay, then," Alex whispered.
He went to turn off the light and by the time he had gotten in bed, Nick was out like a light.
Alex woke up with the sun shining directly onto his face. When he turned around he froze, mesmerized by the sleeping boy next to him. Nick's honey blonde hair glowed in the early morning sunlight and the dried tears on his face somehow made him more beautiful. Alex tried to get out of the bed without waking Nick, but failed miserably when he tripped over his own feet and went crashing to the floor.
Nick immediately shot up, looking at Alex with wide eyes.
"Sorry," Alex grimaced.
But Nick was distracted. He couldn't help but notice how Alex's hair was a perfect shade of brown in the sunlight and the way his eyes looked more hazel than their usual brown.
Alex was beginning to get uncomfortable under the other boy's stare.
"You're beautiful," Nick blurted out, unable to stop himself. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! He scolded himself.
Alex was shocked.
"What...?"
"Um... I said you're beautiful," Nick was blushing so hard his ears were turning red.
"You really think that?" Alex's mouth was moving on it's own now. He took a cautious step forward, then another, until he was standing right in front of Nick.
Nick stood up, his eyes drifting all around the room before landing back on Alex.
"I... like you" Nick said, "fuck what you think or what my parents think," The confidence in Nick's voice was unmistakable, "I fucking love you."
Alex hesitated, a million things running through his head, before blurting, "can I kiss you?"
Nick studied Alex's face for a moment. Then his face broke into a massive smile.
"Yes."
Alex's lips were on his faster than he could blink. Nick threw his arms around Alex's neck, his hands playing with Alex's messy, curly hair. Alex placed his hands around Nick's waist and pulled him impossibly closer.
When they broke apart, Nick was sure his brain would never work again.
"I love you too," Alex said, pulling him in for another kiss.
17 years old
Feeling like a stranger at home
Keeping his head down low
Hideaway so that nobody will know
Avoiding mom and dad
When their asking "who's you girlfriend?"
'Cause lord forbid they see
His true identity
"I know you're dating Alex," Nick's younger sister, Sam, said, "you need to tell mom and dad you're gay."
"What!?" Nick didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell their parents! They would hate him.
"You tell mom and dad you're gay or I will."
Then she promptly left, not realizing how big a deal this was.
When dinner started, everyone sitting around the table, Sam shot Nick a look.
"So," their mother started, "do you have a girlfriend yet, Nick?"
His parents always saying "boy, when will you see?
You'll be happy, I know,
It's just a woman you need.
You'll be such a good Ken,
just gotta find your Barbie
Make sure you act like a man
It's what you were born to be."
"Oh c'mon," their father groaned, "he'll only be able to get a girl if he acts like a real man, which," he pointed out, "is never gonna happen."
"No, I'm sure the right girl will come along one day," their mom smiled lovingly.
"NICK'S GAY!" Sam blurted out, giving Nick a pointed look.
Nick was too scared to even glance at his dad. His mom's smile immediately dropped. The dead silence was somehow even worse than the yelling. Then his dad exploded.
"YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE," his dad fumed, his face red, "YOU WILL BURN IN HELL," he stood up with such force that his chair flew backwards, "GO PACK YOUR FUCKING THINGS AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE."
Nick ran to his room, shoving whatever he could into his backpack. His mom hovered in the doorway.
"You can get the rest of your stuff later," she snarled.
Nick slipped on his shoes and was out the door faster than a bullet. He ran all the way to Alex's house, hot tears streaming down his face.
What if he wants Ken not Barbie?
Why should he have to say sorry?
Tell me are you even listening
to all the dumb shit your slipping.
We can love who we want to
Don't say he's not supposed to
If he loves Ken not Barbie
He doesn't have to say sorry
Alex had been watching Wednesday when the doorbell rang.
"Alex, can you get that?" His mother yelled from somewhere in the house.
"Yeah," he yelled back, pausing the episode and dragging himself to the door.
When he opened it, Nick was standing there, his hair messy and his eyes bloodshot. He was holding his backpack again. Without saying a word, Alex pulled Nick into a tight hug and they stood there, Nick soaking in all of Alex's love and Alex's shirt soaking in all of Nick's tears.
When Nick had calmed down a little, Alex guided him into his bedroom. He did the same thing he had done mere weeks ago, bringing Nick to sit down on his bed, rubbing circles on his back, and whispering about how much he loved Nick, helping him take deep breaths.
Alex pressed a kiss to Nick's forehead and continued while Nick's breathing slowed down and his tears almost stopped.
"Do you want something to eat?" Alex asked, the love and worry evident in his voice.
"Yes, please," Nick's voice was shaking.
No, not to you
Not to me
Not to anyone, anyone, anyone
Not to you
Not to me
Not to anyone, anyone, anyo-o-one
No, No
He doesn't have to say sorry
No, No
He's never gonna say sorry
Nick had spoken as little as he could have last night, eating and going to bed early. Now he was sitting up in Alex's bed, watching his chest move up and down. Nick was relaxed. He was in a safe place, with the boy he loved.
Alex shifted a little before opening his eyes, finding Nick staring right at him. He blinked a few times and forced himself to sit up.
"You know what I realized," Nick said, looking awfully calm, with a small smile on his face.
"What?"
Nick smiled bigger. "My parents were always shit," now he sounded almost hysterical, "even when we were young."
Alex nodded, pushing Nick to continue.
"I was never happy with them. Only with you."
He always wanted Ken not Barbie
He never ever has to say sorry
And nobody is gonna listen
To all the dumb shit you're slippin'
We can love who we want to
Don't say he's not supposed to
He'll always love Ken not Barbie
And he doesn't have to say sorry
To you
Nick was happy. He was content. He didn't have to even think about his parents anymore, now that he was living with Alex. Nick had always felt like Alex's house was a second home. Now, it was his only one. But he didn't mind. Alex's parents accepted them for who they were, even loved them for it. Something that Nick knew his parents could never do.
And then there was Alex. His amazing, perfect, beautiful boyfriend. Alex was always there now. Nick could kiss him whenever he felt like it. For his 18th birthday, Alex got him a rainbow flag, which was now proudly hanging in their room.
They were finally done with high school. Now, they were off to college. Their lives would be so different, and it should have been scary. But they weren't afraid. Not even a little. Because they had each other.
And that was all that mattered.