Chapter Text
Eric had always been a burden.
He had known that since he was a child, when his mom sent him and Serena to stay with Blair while she went on her “rebound trip.” Serena was thrilled, of course—she got to run off and play with her friend while Eric watched from the sidelines. Eventually, Serena would realize Eric was alone and invite him to join, despite Blair’s quiet protests.
Their mom would come back from her trip, and Serena and Eric would return home. She’d make an effort for about a week to connect with her kids before introducing a new boyfriend who would consume all her attention—until they broke up, and she left again.
Eric didn’t mind his mom’s crazy cycle. If he was honest, she wasn’t that good of a mom even when she was around. But he always had Serena. She would tuck him in at night and walk him to school.
Sometimes she got caught up in her own world—forgot to come home for a few days or turned off her phone and disappeared for hours—but she always came back.
So when she didn’t come home after the Shepherd wedding, he shrugged it off. She probably had a few too many drinks and ran into a few too many guys. But then she didn’t come home the next day, and all her calls went to voicemail. Still, maybe she was just at Blair’s, avoiding drama. On the third day, he brought it up to his mom.
“And instead of handling it like a mature adult, she makes a huge fuss about her husband having an affair at my benefit! The audacity of that woman!” his mom loudly ranted at the breakfast table, nibbling on a white egg omelet and waving her fork around
“That’s crazy, Mom... but, um, have you seen Serena?” he mumbled, picking at his own omelet, not in the mood to hear more of his mom’s complaints.
“She didn’t tell you?” his mom replied, surprised. “She decided to go to boarding school to get her act together. She left the morning after the Shepherd wedding. It’s a great thing if you ask me. She’s finally—”
Eric didn’t stick around to hear the rest. He excused himself and then ran to his room and called Serena.
“Hey, you’ve reached Serena. I can’t answer the phone right now, but leave a message at the beep.”
“Hey Serena... Mom told me you went to boarding school? It’s just crazy—I don’t remember you telling me about this major life decision. Call me back.”
He hovered over the screen, then ended the voicemail without sending it.
Sometimes, he wonders what would have happened if he did.
Maybe Serena would’ve called him back, and they’d talk.
Maybe she’d check in every week.
Maybe he’d feel less alone.
Maybe he would’ve talked about how he felt instead of letting everything boil up inside.
Then maybe he wouldn’t be here— in a tiny hotel room lookalike that smells like antiseptic, with two fading lines on his wrist, and a sister who feels burdened to come back to New York for him.
Because isn’t that what he is?
A burden.