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Aziraphale realizes that he has been a good person and helped many, and it is still not good enough for God. He spent his existence firm in his belief finding strength in his faith n God. and now, it seems that it was for nothing and all because of who he loved. His husband. Theirs was honest love, and they both did their best to communicate and love and be truthful, even when it was impossible and they went to bed angry, they always came back to the table and spoke. They had many lovely decades together and as Aziraphale stood before God, he was judged and found wanting.
Now what? His husband had been right all along. Always questioning, never begrudging him his faith, but always posing thoughtful and curious questions. Aziraphale always answered from the only font of knowledge he had, his faith, and Crowley accepted the answers mostly, even when he disagreed. There was always one he could never answer, “What if you’re wrong? What if you get up there and the only way in is to beg forgiveness for this ……. For us? Would you be able to do that? To take our love and dismiss it as a sin?”
He never had a response for that, surely God would not see their love in that light. They were faithful to one another, they were honest, cared for each other, and even raised a lovely boy who grew to be a wonderful young man who found a lovely woman and they made solid parents to their three children, and we were doting grandparents. Surely nothing was sinful about that.
Aziraphale had lived a full and long life, his husband and children and grandchildren by his side as he looked to them all with love and closed his eyes for the last time. But now he stood in the bright light of heaven, wondering if he had been wrong the entire time? Finding himself filled to bursting with questions he was taught he shouldn’t have, but here, now, faced with God he had nothing BUT questions.
He must have taken too long to think because he heard a clearing of a throat and his name spoken as a question.
“Aziraphale, what is it to be? Admission of your sins and prayers for absolution? Or not.” God didn’t care, it was business, not emotion. This was wrong, this couldn’t be right…..
Straightening himself, he adjusted his jumper, folded his hands in front of him and spoke
“I will not pray for absolution for there has been no sin. Love doesn’t deserve to be casually dismissed, and it most certainly is not to be called a sin, to be washed away. I will keep the mark on my soul for my love was every good and hard thing in my life, and that is worth more than whatever you call heaven.”
He didn’t waver, he would not lose courage at this moment, no matter what the outcome. He loved his life and those who were in it more than a faith that taught him that if it didn’t follow a prescribed path to a t, then it was a sin, an abomination to be purged.
“If Crowley is what you chose, then Crowley is all you will ever have. From now on, the two of you shall never perish, never age, and no matter what separation you attempt, you will find each other again, and again. Are you sure that is what he would want? For your decision affects him as well.” She waited, a cold look on her face.
He closed his eyes and felt nothing but warmth fill his chest at the thoughts of his life with Crowley and the love they shared, and how they had secretly wished it never ended, that they could find themselves trapped, time frozen so they could explore all the ways they could love that no one had come up with yet.
“Yes. I can imagine no better place than with my love, even when it is hard, it is always worth it.”
And that is how the humans Crowley and Aziraphale came to be lovers through the ages. Some decades drifting apart only to find each other again and spending time deepening their love, some decades sitting alone together weathering storms that saw humans destroying themselves. Their orbits forever locked together God thought they would eventually see what a hell this kind of purgatory could be, but it never happened, they always found love in the other, no matter what happened, or how long it took, they would always answer to other’s call in the end.