Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

By all accounts, J should have died.

Siding with an angry Robo-Satan seemed like an immoral choice, but a safe one. At least she would almost certainly live - if that was worth anything anymore. With Tessa gone, life drew grimmer with each passing hour, until all that remained were memories left like wooden boxes of cat ashes in a corner of a living room.

In fact, to her, that was the most apt description. Tessa, despite her skin being on the Antichrist of the entire universe (with no able contenders, man or beast they might be), was completely unreconstructable. Her skin was stretched and cut, not to mention scarred, to the point where it was unrecognizable as a human’s, let alone her former lover (not that she would ever tell you that).

Even then, things were looking quite bad.

After failing to get anyone else on her side, she watched as Uzi, N, and V fought back against her and Miss-Destroyer-Of-Everything-Good-In-This-Universe, all while a song was playing off the speakers coming from an iPod. A metalcore, butt-rock, divorced-dad song that she could hear Pat Finnery in her mind making a video about it in real time. And then, a slash of the blade from N later, she fell down a hole.

One loud crack later and she saw nothing. She could have just landed really hard, or she could have been impaled on some steel structure. Whatever it was, it was possibly the end of her life.

J woke up about ten to fifteen hours later, or at least that was her best guess. It could have been a year for all she knew. She didn't wake up in that hole however, which surprised her. Someone cared enough to get her out of that hole. Or maybe it wasn't a hole. Who knows. What did matter was trying to live in a place that kinda hated her.

The room she was in was barely furnished, with a plain bed and a side table, with a lamp and clock on top of it. She looked at the clock, seeing that it was 7:43 AM – meaning she barely slept at all, or had slept for an entire day. Robo-jesus I'm late again...

She pushed herself out the door, almost like she didn't want to go back to the outside world. Maybe she wanted to dream and see Tessa again – like so long ago. Whatever she wanted to do, she went outside what may or may not be her new home, passing by a couple other rooms, and walked along a hallway.

The hallway stretched for a long while, like a giant hotel, with many rooms that were home to the drones of the colony of Outpost-3. It still carried the steel walls of most of the outpost, and the entire planet, as much as J has seen of it, of course. It was playing music from a worn speaker. Not like backing music meant to fill a room, actual music. J had no idea what the song was, but it reminded her of High Voltage, except it was in Spanish. What station the radio was playing would be of interest of her, but she had other things in mind. She preferred more low-energy music anyway.

Suddenly, the music started to clash, as if someone else was playing their own music very, very loudly. The source opened the door on itself, revealing itself to be a worker drone – around the same age as Uzi – so around 20.

“Would you please turn that down?”, asked J, in her ever-so-corporate tone.

The drone stood there, shocked. He'd never seen J in person, although he had seen the other disassembly drones and had heard of J. But he was right in front of her, and he knew the stories of the people who came face to face with them – they usually end up as scrap.

He turned the volume down, without saying a word, just hoping he wouldn't be her next meal.

“Hey, also, how long did I sleep?”, asked J.

“I'm not sure. I last heard that you got put here around a week ago.” said the drone, not being calm whatsoever.

A week, she thought to herself. What could have happened in that week she missed? All she knew was Tessa was gone and that Cyn may have or may have not been defeated. Well people were alive and the planet was there – so she almost certainly lost.

Now what? Try and go back knowing people would see you as a traitor? And live with grief weighing you down like your feet being tied to the Empire State Building?

Well, it wouldn't hurt to try.

Chapter Text

J walked out of the hallway and down a stairwell. She could have probably used an elevator, but she didn't want to bother looking for it. In this somewhat quiet moment, she took the time to think about what her life had become.

It had become a joke. A dumb, depressing joke, to be exact. She lost a battle she thought she was sure to win (why else would she try and get V on her side?), and now she was left with not much more than herself. She was lucky to be in that room she was earlier – some people would have just left her in that pit.

And above all else, Cyn had played a cruel joke – pretending to be Tessa, just to manipulate a couple people. If she was just trying to make J happy, maybe she would have accepted it. Yes, it would still be utterly disgusting. But it would have good intentions.

J walked out of the bunker arrangement, or whatever it was. She never really knew Outpost-3, outside of the small glimpses she got when she stalked the place as a worm that one time. Her main goal was to go out and see what Copper-9 even had for her – or if getting off it was the best option at this point. Unfortunately, the world had other plans for her: interaction with other individuals.

“Oh, hi Traitor Woman.”, said a familiar voice.

“My name is J, former employee.”, J told the familiar voice, in a tone that was between either recognizing the last statement was a joke or was an actual insult.

“Well, my name's V, but I think you remember that, don't you? Unless you forgot everything when you fell down that hole.”

“So, old friend, why did you bother starting a conversation with me of all drones?”, J spoke.

“I don't actually know. Anyways, how's life... I guess?”, V spoke, deciding to continue the conversation for reasons she didn't know.

“You asked the wrong drone that question, as I have literally been asleep for the last week.”

“Huh. Should have thought of that.”, replied V.

“Also, I know I may not be the best person to ask about this... but...

Could we talk a little bit about what you might have been going through?”

Yeah, maybe I do need it. But also...

“No thanks.” said J, starting to run away.

“Well, I tried.”, said V to herself.

J decided to walk out of the bunker, avoiding eye contact with anyone, and being oblivious to the world around her. That didn't really matter right now. A couple people looked at her with some awe. One drone tried to attack her, in likely a vain attempt to be some kind of “hero”. But J meant no harm to anyone, although she would like to go back to the days she was feared among Copper-9. Finally, she made her way to the doors.

It was quite interesting to see them again, after N managed to get through them and kill a couple workers or whatever. He also befriended a purple worker drone that blew her head off one time, although she never bothered to remember her name. Well, she did, but she’d rather not. 

“Hey there! What are you doing?”, yelled a voice coming from near the doors.

“I’m leaving the outpost.”, replied J.

“After we gave you the grace to help you out of the hole even after siding with the thing that almost destroyed our planet, you decide to leave us? How ungrateful of you.”

“I’m coming back, don’t worry.”

“Well don’t expect a warm welcome back then!”

“What I meant was I was going outside the outpost to do something.”, replied J with an annoyed expression. Some people just don’t understand conversation, or words in general.

“Oh. So this is a big misunderstanding. Well, have fun I guess.”, said the drone as he opened the door.

J walked out of the doors and into the vast expansion of Copper-9. She stopped to remind herself that this giant wreck of a place used to be a bustling cityscape, and it was gone in an instant one day. She could imagine walking down a street, perhaps holding hands with Tessa…

That thought made her cry inside… and perhaps a bit outside as well.

After getting herself together, she decided that her main goal for now would be trying to find that helmet that Fake Tessa wore. She thought it would be a nice way to try to remember her, and possibly a nice room decoration if nothing else. The real question was where it was. She thought it would likely be in that cathedral, but that explosion that happened could mean it could be on the other side of the planet for all she knew.

Oh good, she would have to ask someone. Interacting with other drones. Fun.

As she walked back to the doors, she looked at the giant corpse spire.

“I contributed to that.” J said to herself. “Maybe I am a bad person. Maybe I deserve this life. Losing my love and being beaten by everyone. Maybe it’s just my destiny.”

J sat down.

“But also, Cyn manipulated me. Made me think I was doing this for a cause. She made me think she was unbeatable. I was a victim, just as my friends were.”

J’s thoughts were interrupted by her seeing a branded pen. Those always made her happy. She decided to pick it up.

It’s like being promoted, J thought to herself. She then decided to go back to the outpost for some help.

“Oh hey, you’re back.”, said the same drone behind the glass. “Coming back in?”

“Yeah, turns out the thing I wanted to do, I needed some help to do.”, replied J, more friendly than last time.

“That happens often enough that it goes from not being funny to being funny again. Just ask me.”, replied the drone, so casually you’d think he was best friends with J.

“Well, I guess I understand. Now let me in.”, said J.

“Okay!”, said the drone.

As J walked in, she noticed that he was reading a book. It took her a couple minutes to make out what the title said.

The Book Of The Solver. Huh.

“Oh yeah, about the book you’re reading… you know what, never mind.”, said J while both trying to make eye contact and avoiding it at the same time.

As she walked through the halls of the outpost, she suddenly ran into a female worker drone. She had blonde hair, was wearing a cheerleader outfit, and had cat ears on her helmet. The both of them kinda recognized each other, but at the same time didn’t really know each other. Maybe because when they met, they were about to fight each other. And there was a railgun as well, so that complicates things a lot.

“Oh… sorry I guess.”, said J.

“Well, you’re lucky. I think V said that she was going to kill you, and she was going to do it for me.”

“Well that’s nice.”, said J, obviously sarcastic.

“Anyways, I was going to ask you a question.

Do you know where that helmet is?”

“Actually, I do. I got it when I got someone to recover Doll’s body.”

“Could I have it?”

“Yes, but under one condition. There’s a graduation party in two days. I want you to come and interact with people. I’ll give you the helmet then.”

J would have fought this idea, but she really was tired of caring at this point. 

“Yes.”, J said unhappily.

“Okay! See you there!”, replied Lizzy. “You’ll look wonderful.” 

J wasn’t excited at the prospect of having to go to the party, but it might be worth it just to get that helmet. Now comes all that planning, dressing, and other stuff-

She randomly got a message from a person called “Tessa”.

J (and most normal drones) would usually brush this off as a wrong ID number or some kind of scam. However, J still had an interest in what it even said. Maybe it would be the best thing to ever happen in her life. Maybe Tessa was alive… don’t be silly.

She opened up the message. 

Tessa: Hi J! Haven’t talked to you in a while? How are you doing? Love you.

J decided to sit down for a bit to take this all in. 

By crying, of course.

After that, she went back to her room, and decided to make the ultimate decision: reply.

J: I’m doing fine, I guess.