Work Text:
"You look like a Barbie."
Hailey laughs as she meets Jay's eyes in the mirror of their bathroom. "Is that a bad thing?"
"No, no, you just…you look like a Barbie."
Hailey smiles to herself and returns to curling her hair. Two days ago, she was picking up new t-shirts at the store when Jay called her and asked if she'd go to his aunt's 70th birthday party with him. It was set to be in a nearby park, so being the beginning of June, she decided she needed something a little brighter than the dresses she owned that she also happened to wear when undercover at work. She wanted to make a good impression on Jay's family; they were getting married, and she wanted them to know that she was serious about being a part of her husband's life.
It helped that she needed a little good in her life right now. With her job in shambles and her friends trying to put their lives back together, going to a birthday party felt like the perfect reason to smile in an afternoon. The temperature was warm, there was a breeze, the sun was shining - everything had come together for this birthday party. It was as if Mother Nature knew Hailey needed this.
The dress she'd chosen was a bright pink - brighter than anything she owned within her closet. She didn't totally hate the color pink, it just wasn't something she gravitated toward. Blues, blacks, greens, even reds felt better suited for her than something as bubbly as hot pink or sunshine yellow. And yet, here she stands in her bathroom, dressed in a bright pink sundress with little bows on the shoulders and ruffles along the skirt. While it was nothing like she owned, she didn't feel like she was putting on an act or being something she wasn't. This was just a different version of her than the Hailey Upton that showed up to work each day. This was Hailey Upton, the fiancée of Jay Halstead. She had a bright future, a reason to smile, and a family to join. She was allowed to wear pink.
"Should I change?" she asks through the mirror, "Do you hate it? Because I don't think that black dress I wore to dinner two weeks ago is appropriate for a 70th birthday party."
"No! Of course not!" Jay assures, coming to stand just a few feet behind her. "I love it. It's just different than anything I've ever seen you in."
Hailey laughs again and sets her curling iron down to grab her hair spray. "Are you sure? You don't look convinced."
Instead of answering her, Jay simply stares at her reflection as she sprays the fresh curls in her hair. His eyes linger over hers and then slide down her back. A part of her wants to tease him again, but then his hands come out to grab at her waist, and any words she had die on her lips.
"You're perfect," he murmurs, "And…god I hope this doesn't come across wrong." He breathes out then leans down to press several slow kisses along the side of her throat and down to her shoulder. "But you get more beautiful every day. Doesn't matter if you're in jeans and a t-shirt at work or sweatpants on your couch or wearing this bubblegum pink dress…you're gorgeous, and I can't wait until you're my wife."
Her eyelids flutter close, and she smiles while tilting her head to the side. Humming, she whispers, "Didn't come out wrong at all. Thank you."
He squeezes her waist and tugs her back into his hips. "I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but do you have any thoughts on what you're going to wear to our wedding?"
"I don't think the groom's supposed to know what the bride wears."
"The bride and groom also aren't supposed to have sex before marriage, but here we are."
Hailey laughs and straightens up in his arms. The truth is that she hasn't given much, if any, thought to what she's going to wear when they get married. They haven't even set a date. There's nothing she wants more in the world than to marry Jay, but her mind has been elsewhere since he got on one knee here in this apartment and asked for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately, work has taken over her mind, and there are few and far between moments when she's not worrying about Kim and Roy Walton and Voight and her life falling apart.
Just the mere thought causes her stomach to drop, and she grabs Jay's arms to steady herself. Taking a deep breath, she tries forcing the smile on her face to remain as she says, "Honestly, I have not considered it. Do you have a preference?"
Jay shakes his head behind her, seemingly not noticing the one moment her thoughts flickered elsewhere, before returning to kiss along her the junction of her throat. "This, your dress blues, a t-shirt, literally nothing…does not matter to me. Whatever you feel comfortable in."
She laughs again and breathes in slowly while letting her eyes close once more. "My dress blues are definitely not comfortable, so that's not happening. Do you want to wear your fatigues?"
"Be serious," Jay chuckles. His tongue teases along her earlobe, and then he clarifies by saying, "I'll be in a tux."
She smiles at the thought of Jay in a tuxedo - so different from his typical jeans or even the pair of khakis he's wearing right now. "I can get behind that."
"Yeah?" Jay asks. He straightens up and sets his chin on her shoulder. Smiling at her through the mirror, he says, "I want you to have the wedding of your dreams, so if you change your mind and want something else, just tell me."
She nods and squeezes his arms. "I know," she says softly, "And I can't wait to plan it with you, but…can I be honest?"
Jay raises an eyebrow and stands up more. "Of course."
Turning in his arms, she looks up at him and breathes in slowly. He sets his hand on the side of her face, and she relaxes with a smile. "My head's just not there right now," she quietly admits, "I'm still thinking about Kim and-and having an unsolved case and just…I want to put my all into our wedding. You deserve that. We deserve that."
"Hey, I know," Jay murmurs, "Don't worry about it at all. I don't blame you. You deserve that too." A smile flickers across his face, and he leans down to drop a quick kiss to her lips. "We'll plan this wedding once things calm down a little. Besides, we have other things to do first, like finding an apartment to live in together. I'm looking forward to that."
Hailey's smile grows, and she nods. "Of course. That is exciting. We need a place that's just ours."
Jay hums in agreement then brushes his fingers through her hair. "I'm ready to start my life with you, but I'm not rushing to run down the aisle. We do this on our terms on our time. I trust you, and I love you."
The words sting, but Hailey ignores them as she pushes up on her toes to kiss him again. "I love and trust you too," she murmurs against his lips.
Jay smiles and fits his hand within her lower back. His thumb brushes against her before he straightens up and asks, "Do you want me to hold off on telling people today? I don't want-"
She cuts him off with a shake of her head. "Tell people," she says, "It's your family, and they should know. I want them to know." She smiles and rubs her hands down the front of his chest. "We're going to be married, and I have absolutely no regrets about that. Just maybe heed off any questions on dates and venues."
Jay chuckles and kisses her forehead. "Sounds good." Stepping back, he nods toward the curling iron and asks, "Are you done here then? I think you look gorgeous, but if you need a few more minutes-"
"No, I'm good," she says while stepping around him to turn the curling iron off and unplug it. "We should get going. I need to make this neon dress worth it."
Jay laughs and sets a hand on her back. "It's not neon. Are you sure you want to wear it?"
"Yes," she answers, "It's different, and I do like it. I need different right now."
Jay hums, and the sound causes her to look up at his reflection in the mirror.
"Yes?"
He watches her for a moment then shakes his head and closes the distance between them. Hugging her tightly, he leans down to whisper in her ear, "Things are going to be okay. I promise you."
She squeezes her eyes shut and tangles her fingers in the back of his freshly ironed shirt. She wants to believe him - needs to believe him - but his promise is empty as of now, even if he doesn't know it. There are too many unknowns in her life regarding work and maybe even her friendship with Kim to even imagine things being okay, and yet there is one thing she knows to be true: how much Jay loves her.
She just hopes that doesn't falter as the fallout of her actions eventually comes to light.
"We are Barbies!"
Hailey hasn't worn that pink sundress in years. After the family birthday party she'd first worn it to, it found its place in the back of her closet. Despite never wearing it again, she couldn't find it within herself to get rid of it. Donation bags were filled, suitcases were packed, and yet it still found its way into other closets and apartments and eventually this house.
It would have likely stayed hidden forever had her daughter not chosen to hide in her closet during her latest game of hide and seek. The three year-old managed to tug it from its hanger and came running out of the closet with it trailing behind her, demanding that Hailey put it on so they could match in their pink dresses.
"Barbies, Mama! We're Barbies!"
Hailey turns from her bedroom mirror with a laugh at her daughter's voice.
Chloe Paige is standing in the bedroom door wearing one of her several pink dresses. While Hailey has always stayed away from the color, her little girl cannot seem to do the same. Whenever they go to the store searching for new clothes, Chloe always asks for something bright and bubbly. She loves princesses and glitter and everything Hailey didn't when she was the same age, but she's still Hailey's daughter without a doubt. She also loves visiting the beach and running in the backyard, sunflowers and the zoo, jumping in puddles and eating chocolate, reading books and drawing pictures. For every sequin she insists on wearing, Chloe still reflects Hailey right back at her.
"We really do," Hailey says, "Do you like it?"
"I love it!" Chloe exclaims, running further into the room. She launches herself up onto the big bed and stands on shaky legs on the mattress in an attempt to be eye level with her mother. Brushing her blonde hair out of her face, she smiles and asks, "Do you feel pretty?"
Hailey's heart melts, and she nods as she walks over to grab Chloe's hands. "I do feel pretty, princess. Do you?"
"Gorgeous!" Chloe says happily, and Hailey laughs at the way the big word sounds coming from her little girl's mouth. "We are the prettiest girls ever, just like Barbies. Thank you for wearing pink!"
Hailey smiles and gathers Chloe in her arms to pepper her face with kisses. "Thank you for getting me to put this on. It's fun to match you! You are the stylish one."
Chloe laughs and holds onto Hailey's dress to steady herself while jumping on the bed. "So do we go eat now? We're matching, Mama, we've gotta go show it off."
Hailey laughs with her. "Yes, we can go to the restaurant now, but you do have to put shoes on first."
"Oh, right," Chloe says, immediately stopping her jumps to then leap off the bed to the carpet. Hailey winces at her daughter's actions and wishes she hadn't inherited that fearlessness from her father. "You're wearing flips flops," she observes.
Hailey softens and wiggles her foot at her. "Flip flops, Chlo. Do you want to wear yours too?"
"Yeah!" Chloe answers as she straightens up, "But I don't know if mine are black too."
"No, yours are purple, but that's okay," Hailey assures. She holds her hand out and says, "Come on, let's go find your shoes."
"Even though they're not black?" Chloe asks, "Cause maybe you drive me to the store and we buy black flips flops for me."
"Your purple ones will be perfect for tonight," Hailey says while leading Chloe to her own bedroom, "But maybe we can buy you a black pair of your own next time we shop for clothes."
Chloe nods quickly and says, "I'd like that."
Smiling down at her, Hailey can't believe the little girl is her own. She was such a drop of sunshine in her usual day-to-day life that sometimes she forgot what she did without her. Before, she'd had moments of happiness, but never anything like today where she was putting on a pink sundress in the middle of September and going to a Greek restaurant just because her daughter thought it'd be fun.
Chloe crawls into her closet in search of her purple flip flops. They're having one last heat wave throughout Chicago, but Hailey still reaches up for her daughter's jean jacket to dress her in after they eat.
"Do you think Daddy's gonna miss us?" Chloe asks as she comes out of the closet. She uses both hands to place her flip flops on her feet and looks up at Hailey with expectant eyes.
"Obviously."
Hailey and Chloe turn to see Jay standing in the doorway with a bundle of blankets in his arms. He winks at Hailey and leans against the door jamb.
"Lucas!" Chloe screams, not even bothering to place her second shoe on before running over to her dad and brother.
"Shh, you don't need to scream," Jay gently corrects while squatting down so she can get a better look at the baby.
"Sorry," Chloe whispers. She reaches into the blankets to pat Lucas's stomach. "Did you have a good nap, Lucas? Did you have happy dreams?"
"I'm sure he did," Jay assures, "And I'm sure he'll miss you too while you and Mommy have your night out, but he's happy you're going to have fun."
Chloe smiles at him and nods. "It's important for us to have Mommy/Chloe time, just like it's important for you boys to have Daddy/Lucas time."
"Exactly," Hailey says, walking over to stand next to them. She smiles down at her two month-old son barely stirring in Jay's hold. His blue eyes are fluttering open, and she can so clearly remember when Chloe looked just like him. Now, her daughter's eyes have turned a brighter green to match Jay's, and it makes Hailey wonder if the same will happen to Lucas.
"Go get your other shoe on, princess, and then we'll get going," she says, reaching a hand down to lightly twirl a lock of Chloe's hair.
Chloe nods quickly and hurries to run back to her closet, but not before dropping a haste kiss on Lucas's forehead.
Jay straightens once they're given just that second of privacy and says, "Well, she's clearly excited."
Hailey laughs and nods. "She is. She said we both look like Barbies."
"You do," Jay chuckles. He unhooks a hand from Lucas to set it on her waist. "You look beautiful. Feeling okay?"
Hailey hums her answer and turns to watch Chloe struggle with the strap at the back of her flip flop. Leaning her head against Jay's chest, she murmurs, "I can't believe this is our life. It feels a bit like a Barbie dream."
Jay laughs and kisses the top of her head. "It's perfect. A bit louder than I'd imagine Barbie's dream house being run, but then again, did Barbie have a toddler and a baby?"
"I think so," Hailey says, "I know she had a little sister. Doesn't Chlo have one?"
"She has so many toys."
"And soon Lucas's will be everywhere too."
"Lord help us."
Hailey laughs and gently hits his chest as she straightens up. "You ready, Chloe?"
"Mhmm!" Chloe jumps up and attempts to smooth out her dress. "Time for us to go eat Greeks!"
Jay laughs loudly and shakes his head. "You're going to eat Greek food, silly, not Greek people."
"I said that," Chloe sighs. She walks past them and mumbles, "You need listening ears, Daddy."
Jay meets Hailey's eyes and smirks. "She really is your daughter."
"Pretty sure you also gave her an attitude," Hailey bites back with a laugh. She leans down to kiss Lucas's head one last time, whispers, "Mommy loves you," then straightens up and adds, "Good luck, you two, and have fun."
"We always do," Jay assures. He pecks Hailey's lips then nods to the stairs. "Go, we'll be fine, and-"
"Mommy! Let's go be Barbies together!"
"Our daughter's waiting," Jay finishes with a laugh.
Hailey laughs with him and shakes her head. "Coming!" she yells out. Taking a deep breath, she shoots one last smile at Jay before hurrying down the stairs toward her daughter.
She was nearly certain that Barbies weren't supposed to wear clothes stained with baby formula or work jobs that required running through downtown Chicago. Maybe she didn't see herself as some picture perfect doll, yet at least two people in her life believed her to be one, and that had to be enough. She was happy, and that had to have been what Barbie was all about - it's what she was all about, in the end.