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“Gojo-sensei.. um.. have you ever been in love with someone?”
Gojo pauses, legs outstretched on the podium in front of him as he reclines in the rickety wooden chair in front of his first year class.
He can feel their inquisitive gazes, knows Yuta’s flustered expression after he had asked and before the young teen can sputter his apologies and retract his question - he responds.
“Yeah, yeah I have.”
His hand instinctively reaches up and a long finger traces the outline of the necklace under his jacket. The thin chain that held your promise rings together.
He still remembers the first time he met you, nearly two decades ago in the middle of winter. Your toothy grin as you stuck your hand out to him and in every finite timeline he could see, you’d say the same thing to him every time.
“I like your big fish eyes!”
Before grabbing his hand and tugging him along to come play with you in the snow.
No fear of what power he had, no awe at his status, just childhood innocence.
You just saw him as that lonely kid with the big bulging blue eyes and decided then and there that he would be your best friend, out of the kindness of your little 8 year old heart.
He remembers the times his eyes stung and instead of making fun of him, your chubby little hands had simply reached up and shielded his eyes so he could rest them.
“It hurts right? It’s okay, I got you.” You’d say quietly to him and the only thing he could think about was how fast his heart was beating.
You got him hooked onto digimon, made him play silly games with you at the park, argued back to any adults that berated either one of you. Helped shape parts of his personality he refuses to change.
That childish defiance and stubbornness that lasted well into your early teens.
He remembers your first kiss together.
Age 14, he remembers the sensation still of when he’d accidentally poked your eye with his nose when he panicked and moved mid-kiss. The grumble of your voice and your eyes as you glared up at him, a hand covering the wounded eye.
“..do-over?” He asked sheepishly and you rolled your eyes at him before you stepped up onto your tippy toes again again to press your lips against his.
His face felt like it was on fire but he didn’t want to pull away first, not when the thing he’d been dreaming about only forever had finally happened. You pull back first and give him a shy smile, making a dumb comment about how you both finally got it over and done with.
Puberty hit him hard first so he was left grinning down at you, towering over you as he pinched your cheeks and started baby-talking you to hide how nervous he was. You’d swatted his hands away and insulted him before the two of you burst into laughter again, the tender moment engraved in his heart.
The friendly bickering never stopped. Not even when Ieiri or Geto entered the picture, instead it was magnetic and brought everyone closer.
He remembers the first time he saw you in your high school uniform. The holler he let out at you trying to adjust the jacket that wouldn’t button up as you complained that the measurements were wrong in the bust area.
“Okay fat ass.” He’d said as you yelled back at him, “Shut up, four eyes!”
“Erm actually, it’s six eyes.”
The pause you both shared before you shoved him and called him an idiot, laughing so hard you snorted and it made him laugh even harder in response.
He remembers during his second year, asking you what you wanted for your birthday and you had actually stopped blabbering for once to really think about it.
“..I want matching promise rings.”
Your voice was so uncharacteristically small, he didn’t know what exactly the rings would mean but he agreed to buy you it. Anything for you in that moment.
It lead to the two of you rocking up to a small jewellery store, the staff member eyeing you both curiously with barely concealed disdain. High schoolers loitering about? Typical.
When he slid over his black card, saying he’d purchase whatever you wanted though? Suddenly the lady was all smiles and overly friendly.
He watched you, like he always did, as you scrutinised each ring on display before you politely asked the jeweller if you could try on a piece.
A small silver band with a little blue gem embedded into it.
You turned to look up at him, hand outstretched with the ring held delicately between your fingers to ask what his thoughts were.
After all, he’d be matching with you.
He didn’t reply to you, instead opting to gently pluck the ring from your grasp and just as gently slipping it onto your ring finger. His gaze softening as he finally let a smile slip onto his face as he eyed the band around your finger.
“Yeah, this is the one.” He said but his eyes weren’t on the ring anymore, he had lifted his gaze to look at your face even though your attention was now focussed on the cool metal on your skin.
You’d beamed up at him before removing the ring and returning it to the jeweller, motions quick but hands light as you grabbed his hand and offered it up for him to get his ring size measured.
Soon enough his card is back in his pocket and he’s holding a little bag with your matching rings inside.
“So what’re these for?” He’d finally asked as he matched his long strides with your smaller steps.
“Promise rings are for promises, duh.” You snarked at him, smug smile on your face when he gave you an unimpressed look.
“Wow.. you’re so insightful.” He drawled, sarcasm dripping heavily.
Your steps pause at the familiar intersection you’d normally break away from each other at, he feels his heart stop for a second as he takes in the sweet expression on your face as you bashfully look up at him.
“It’s a promise that we’ll be together forever, to become the strongest.” You laugh a little to yourself, starting to beat yourself up for your dumb little comment but stop when he abruptly pulls one of the ring boxes out.
You blink owlishly up at him as he fumbles to open the box and you’re frozen as he raises your hand, jittery hands slipping the ring onto your ring finger.
“..thought we already agreed on it without the rings.” He mumbled, but the tinge of red on the tips of his ears was giving away his embarrassment.
You can’t help it when you let out a small shy laugh, reaching into the bag to pull out the box that contained his promise ring. When you’ve managed to fish it out and pry the ring from it’s safe haven, his larger hand is already outstretched to you.
“Y’know, you should at least profess your love to me since you’re putting a ring on it.” He jokes to you, trying to use humour as a shield like he always does.
“Hmm.. I’ll think about it.” You hum out as you slide the matching silver band onto his ring finger, the afternoon sun catching off the light blue gem.
Silence envelopes the two of you, but its comfortable as you toss the boxes back into the bag he’s carrying and you both quietly admire the silver bands.
“..I’ll see you tomorrow?” His voice is soft, void of the confident bravado he usually had.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You responded as you both started to separate and start heading home.
The memory is so vivid, it feels like he’s there right now when he stops walking as he suddenly hears you call out to him.
“Hey Satoru!”
Can feel his body turning as he twists his upper body to look back at you as you shout the words to him.
“I love you, Satoru.”
The smile you gave him as you laughed to yourself, hands covering your face before you turned to run home. The warmth in his chest and the pep in his step as he walked home that day still lingers, he remembers fist pumping in celebration.
Fuck, why did it have to end?
He recalls when he started drifting away from you in his third year.
He was just always so busy taking on mission after mission alone, getting stronger on his own and leaving you behind. Did you miss him? Were you lonely?
Were you scared when you died…?
He’s asking himself these things as he stands over your body, the special grade curse he’d vanquished disintegrating in the background as he blankly stared at the ground.
He wished it wasn’t you. A part of him hoping it was a sick joke but it didn’t take a genius to know.
It was your body on the ground, what left of it remained at least with the residuals of your cursed energy. The glint of light that reflected off the ring that sat dented on your finger.
“You promised…” His voice cracked.
There were no tears as he crouched down to lift your body, no words spoken as he held you close to him as he made his way back to the awaiting car to take him back to school.
The drive was silent, no one daring to utter a word to Gojo as he held your cold body like it was the most fragile thing in the world.
Ieiri and Geto were quiet when they heard the news, not even Yaga had any words to comfort him. Instead they watched him as he clutched your ring in his hand, his shoulders shaking as he forced a smile onto his face.
“Shit happens, right?” He tried to sound convincing, like his voice wasn’t shaking and tears weren’t welling up in his eyes.
He finally lets the tears fall when Geto and Ieiri embrace him, the two of them quietly apologising to him for his loss as he mourned.
“Sensei..?”
He blinks a couple of times, remembering where he currently is.
“Ah, sorry. Was reminiscing.” He grins at his beloved students, pulling up the carefully crafted persona again. Finger still pressed gently over the rings under his jacket.
“To answer your question Yuta, yes I’m in love.”