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Nicholas likes to think it’s impossible to feel lonely when you are living together with 8 people. Every morning would be filled with the smell of coffee pot brewing and laughter coming from the living room. It’s good. It’s enough. Back in his home, it would be with his sister. The jokes that are to lame to share, yet Nicholas would laugh nevertheless. So, living with &team couldn’t be lonely right? It’s basically triple the amount of chaos.
But, no. Nicholas still feels the unexplainable nagging inside of his chest. It’s probably homesick, he thinks. Because like any normal person, Nicholas still longs for the familiar air that he only feels back at home. They have been busy with the Tokyo tour lately, making him have to shove the idea of coming back home further in his head.
Nicholas always finds his way to figure it out. Even when the figure-it-out in question is him sleeping off his problem. Then, so be it. Nicholas will talk about it, sure. Just.. Not now.
When his chest feels tight and the member's chatter becomes a white noise in his head, Nicholas takes it as his cue to sleep early that night. Euijoo immediately raises his eyebrow when Nicholas bids them goodbye in the living room.
“We have nothing to do tomorrow,” explains Euijoo. “We are about to start the movie night.”
Nicholas gives Euijoo a faint smile. “I know. I'm just tired, Juju.” Euijoo gives him an acknowledged smile in return, “get a good sleep.” Nicholas leaves the living room, not without teasingly ruffled Taki's hair on his way out. “Don't even think about watching horror movies, kid,” he jokes. “Hey! That was Yuma-kun’ idea.” His smile rises over the memories of tricking their youngest line to watch a horror movie. That night, they ended up huddled in Fuma and Yudai’s shared bed room.
Back in his room, Nicholas mindlessly scrolls his Tiktok. Saving a few videos here and there to recreate another day with the members. He laughs a bit. When the video is too funny for his own liking.
Until the for you page gets a little bit too personal with his situations. The homesick-nuance video keeps popping off after a few scrolls. Feeling enough of it, Nicholas chose to charge his phone instead. He stares at the top ceiling, watching a faint creak on the white plaster. He is not sure when his mind starts to play random memories in his head, soothing him to sleep.
Nicholas wakes up with the feeling of a body warmth snuggling deeper on his shoulder. Harua. The younger male always associated with a rabbit. Though looking at him now, Harua resembles a cat more than a rabbit. The way his brows scrunched in his sleep, legs tucked on his chest. They don’t have a permanent room mate. Well, they tried once, when they first arrived in the dorm. Only for them eventually having too often sleepover in different rooms. Their shared blanket ends up hunched under Harua’s chin and his small shoulder.
Cute.
It’s not usual Harua would sneak up late at night, bringing his own pillow set and shaking Nicholas’s shoulder to wake him up.
“Nicholas-nii,”
Nicholas heard the door being opened quietly. The hallway lamp seeps over the small gap behind Harua’s body. It’s dim, almost yellowish white. Nicholas stayed silent, trying to comprehend his surroundings. Making sure that his ears aren't playing tricks on him.
The footsteps get even closer, stopping right on the edge of his bed. “Nicholas, are you awake?” Harua repeated in hushed tones. His finger tapped his shoulders softly.
Nicholas feels consciousness starts to come back in his body. His mind is still fuzzy, but he can picture Harua’s silhouette. Without saying any words, Nicholas half-lidded open his blanket, allowing the smaller man to get closer to cuddle him. It is a tight fit, the bed obviously doesn't support two grown men despite Harua being smaller.
“Are you okay?” Nicholas asked after Harua positioned himself on the bed. He chose the wall side, always. The English slipped naturally which responded with Harua's quiet hum. “Yeah. Just can't sleep.”
Nicholas nods, even he doubts Harua could see him clearly in the dark room that is only illuminated from the bed lamp on the drawer. “Bad dreams?” — “Eung,” hummed Harua. He tucked himself under the heavy blanket. Almost covering his whole face with it. “I got it too, especially when I'm tired. Do you want to talk about it?” tried Nicholas.
“It's about us. I don't remember how it exactly went but I woke up scared. Like something unfamiliar is coming. I don't know what it is..” whispered Harua. His voice went even smaller without him noticing.
“Hey, you are okay. Nothing bad is going to happen, alright?” replied Nicholas in a softer tone, the tone that he got reserved only for Harua. “I won't let that happen to you. Promise.”
Harua looked him in the eyes. Big and teary. Nicholas sometimes wonders how it feels like to see the world from Harua's eyes. The one who always sparks brighter, like there's thousand fireflies nested in his eyes. “Okay.” Harua smiled. It is still weak, quiet, not the full blown laugh that he always pulled in the daylight, but still Nicholas’ favorite.
Nicholas smiled in return. “Do you want to watch something? It could help you go back to sleep.”
“Yeah. Something boring, I don't know, anything would be good,” joked Harua. “Aye-aye, captain.”
Nicholas unplugged his phone that he left charged on the drawer. He scrolled the YouTube app with one hand. Harua's back is now meeting his chest. Making him scroll through the app with Harua’s soft hair as a distraction. A very, very cute distraction.
“Do you use my shampoo again?” asked Nicholas after smelling the faint smell of strawberry. “Yeah, Taki diluted the shampoo again. Have to use yours now,” mumbles Harua. His cheek flattened on Nicholas's pillow.
“Silly.”
“You love me though.”
“You're right. I do.” Nicholas finally settled on a video that he thinks they both like. A deep ocean documentary. The one that makes his stomach tingle uncomfortably due how deep it is, yet still makes him intrigued.
The narrator's soft tone lulls both of them to slumber. Nicholas feels his eyelids got heavier with minutes passed, but not asleep yet. Same with Harua. Nicholas’ left arm tucked that held the phone sideways tucked comfortably under his neck. Eyes blinking heavily with how the narrator explained the Twilight Zone.
Nicholas isn't sure when he falls asleep. Like he just did before Harua entered the room. But rather only comforted by the scent of warm bedding, now it’s accompanied with a weak scent of strawberry shampoo.
Harua is warm on his chest. It feels like hugging a ray of sunshine. Nicholas laughs a little, he must be tired if his mind keeps supplying a weird analogy. If Harua is a ray of sunshine and Nicholas is hugging him, he must be burned by it, no?
But he isn’t. Hugging Harua doesn't hurt, or burn. And it makes perfect sense in his sleepy head.
“Good night, Nicholas.”
Yeah, a good night indeed.
Nicholas smiles over the memories. He grows sentimental over years with the members. He quickly fixes the blanket that draped over their body. He moves his head a little, keeping his body still. Not wanting to wake Harua awake. His fingers run on Harua’s soft hair. The one that smells like strawberry. He keeps petting Harua’s hair, massaging it. Until Nicholas feels maybe he isn’t fully awake after all. More sleep, Nichol, he thinks.
“Is everyone here?” asks Yudai, he already busied himself with setting the plate on the dining table. Today is a day off. The oldest member agreed to allow them to wake up a little bit later than usual. Fuma mentally counted the members who already shuffled to the cramped kitchen. “Yeah, wait, I don't see Nicholas,” says Fuma. “Harua isn't here either,” adds Taki.
“Nicholas is probably still asleep. I will check on him after this.” Euijoo moves by carefully placing the cooked egg on the plate. “Check on Harua too, Euijoo-kun!” yells Yudai when Euijoo is already in the hallway.
Nicholas's room is located far from the living room. When he arrives in front of the bedroom, Euijoo knocks. “Nichol, are you awake?” — Silent. Not even a sound of bed rustling or blanket tossed around. “I’m going inside. You can’t miss breakfast again, you know,” he says. Euijoo smiles when he looks at the bed. Warmth filled inside of his chest. Harua, somehow, makes his half body lie on top of Nicholas' torso. Cheek lays flat in steady breathing of Nicholas’ chest. The navy blue blanket ended up tangled on their waist together.
“Alright. We can always reheat the breakfast,” mumbles Euijoo. His heart couldn't even bear the idea of disturbing their sleep. Both of them already work very hard. A little bit more sleep won't hurt anybody.
Fifteen minutes.
Euijoo will check on them again in fifteen minutes. And let's take it from there.