Chapter Text
Dreams remain the biggest enigma of the human life cycle, right next to death.
Some people have the most vivid dreams--dreams that they can remember down to the last detail every time, for every sight, sound, and sensation. Some people's dreams repeat, usually in nightmare form, and those that are able can piece together the circumstances of the waking and sleeping worlds to figure out what they mean and become better for it. Some people have absurd dreams nightly and still remember enough of them to write them down upon waking, only to have a laugh about it later.
Yeah, fuck those guys.
I'd never had a lucid, or even vivid dream in my life until a few months before I was supposed to turn eighteen; every dream before was always at random, fleeting, and very easily forgotten. I'd thought about it often, of course: how great would it be to finally enter a construct of your mind where you finally knew what was going on? Maybe even control what happened? Those teenage years are so fragile and so confusing that even some semblance of internal sanctuary would have been a literal dream come true, and yet I never found it. Still, it was a concept that tugged at my heartstrings nightly and, I'll admit, sometimes daily.
So to say I was a little surprised after going to bed one late summer night--or more accurately, one very, very early summer morning--the next time I opened my eyes, it was to literal outer space... well, it was the mildest of understatements.
Literally. I stood on some invisible surface amidst a sea of darkness and stars, watching the occasional comet streak past from seemingly nowhere and disappear back into whence it came for several moments before realizing that I was, for all intents and purposes, aware. I turned on my heel, body responding just as it would if I were awake. A hollow laugh escaped my throat--who'd have thought? This was a dream. This was a sanctuary.
"Oh, believe me, it'd be so great if I could let you go on thinking that."
I stiffened at the voice behind me, watching another comet speed by; this one only raced inches from my side, and yet all I felt was a rush of air. Before I could turn around, a burst of flames sprang into existence before my eyes, billowing and lifting higher and higher until it was twice my height--then dispelled, leaving a woman with literally glowing, bronze-tanned skin. Her hair was tied back into a high ponytail of a deep, deep red, lifting about a foot behind her and twisting into more floating flames and trails of smoke that twisted and chained all around. Her eyes weren't quite amber, but rather golden with flecks of orange that almost resembled lightning, and her eyebrows quirked sharply--along with the sharp curve of her lips, painted the same red as her hair. Golden bangles jingled and clanked together at her wrist as she extended a hand toward me, teeth bared in what I assumed was meant to be a dazzling smile but somehow came out more... unearthly. Almost threatening.
Who was I kidding? She was made of fire. Her hair was, at any rate.
"Benefits of being a god, you know? Divine beauty and all. But nothing that looks pretty has a practical purpose anymore--real shame." The woman shook her head, sparks falling from her lips as she spoke and drifting away to join the stars. "Wow, watching you humans gawk never gets old. I should do this more often."
My elation all but forgotten, I tried to find my voice. My throat had gone dry the moment she--the goddess had appeared. Strange, how I'd never seen someone like this in my life and yet she was... almost familiar.
"... What's going on?" I asked, my voice barely a rasp.
"Mm. Could've done worse for a first question, I'll give you that." She retracted her hand, looking somehow a mix of disappointed and a bit irritated as she raised her fingers to delicately lay her own cheek in them. "Shouldn't you know, little starshine? After all, this is your dream."
"This is a dream." I echoed, still trying to take the goddess's appearance in. From the silken, flowing white dress wrapped around her body to the diamond-shaped tattoo hanging below her bangs, I knew there was something I was forgetting and needed to remember. I knew of her. I just didn't know... her.
"... All right, you're not getting it. Let me make this easy for you."
She grabbed my hand in both of hers, lifting it up above my head to stretch toward... whatever could be considered the sky, I guessed. Something burned on the back of my hand, first only a warm pulsing and then like a blazing sting--but her grip was like iron, even when she took away one of her hands to do the same. As if she had made a silent call, a ring of stars darted from their places in the sky and circled around us--bursts of white flame the size of beach balls, trailing wisps of bright smoke and bobbing up and down as they revolved.
"Such a wish you have," she breathed, and though the corners of her lips turned up in amusement her stare was harsh as stone. "And such a pathetic life you think you live. Not that I'm disagreeing with you." Both of her hands dropped, but no matter how I tried mine stayed outstretched. The burning was unbearable now; I could see the back of my hand turning pink, then red, then--I tore my eyes away to stare back at the goddess.
"What do you want?" I tried not to snap, but I couldn't help it--I was confused, my hand was on fire, and she kept speaking in circles. She shrugged, the smirk never leaving her face as she took a step back; her legs lifted to cross, allowing her to sit in what would be midair if there were any sort of ground. "I mean--what are you doing? Who are you?"
"You really don't remember my name." The smirk finally dropped, and her mouth drew into a thin line--something flashed across her eyes almost like lightning, but a shadow instead of brightness. I flinched back as best as I could while being frozen in place. "Funny; I thought you were the human in this world that thought you knew me the best. Well, sweetie, maybe this will jog your memory. For good."
She snapped her fingers, watching a shower of sparks erupt around her hand, and the pain in mine finally subsided. I lowered it, trying to feel some kind of grateful--but my heart leapt into my throat as I stared at the golden lines etched into it. They weren't filled in, but there was still no mistaking the points where they crossed and ended, neither was there mistaking the shape they formed.
Especially not the pink glow that still remained inside the top triangle.
"Din." My mouth was impossibly dry, and my voice came out as nothing but a croak. "The goddess of power. But that's..."
"Impossible, improbable, every word in your little mental dictionary that you're so fond of vomiting up will suffice. Save me the lecture." Din planted her hands on her hips, eyebrows quirked upwards again. "You want to believe there's so much more truth to fiction than there already is. You want to make everything so much closer to reality. That's how I made it in here, you know. You believed in me."
I shuddered under the imaginary weight of her gaze. "You're not real. You're literally a work of fiction."
"Kind of an ugly word for it, don't you think?" She stepped forward, swerving to the side at the last second to pace quick circles around me. "Fiction. Not real. Gods hear that term a lot, you know. But you--you believe in myths, in legends, in little fairy rings and--" she paused, laying a hand on my cheek as she stopped in front of me again. Her touch scalded like hot water, and I flinched back--for real this time. "--surprisingly, everything but the monster under your bed."
"What do you want." I choked out again, wrenching away from the goddess before she could touch me again. I bumped into one of the stars, expecting to feel more burning but instead meeting some kind of soft barrier that pushed me gently back to my feet. Din stood motionless, arms crossed and seemingly sizing me up with another stare.
"Well, I didn't come to talk about myself. I'm flattered, though." She tossed a stray coil of flames out of her face and back over her shoulder, baring her teeth again in that strange smile. "I came to talk about what you want. More specifically, these wishes and dreams that are waiting around us to come to fruition."
At my baffled expression, she huffed. "I am a literal wish granter. Take advantage of the situation while you can, will you? I didn't lose my rights to the earth I created to let a human stop me from making all the fun I ever get because she doesn't know how to make a single wish. I can see all of your desires plain as day from here--so can anyone with eyes."
With that, she vanished in a flurry of sparks. I twisted my head, trying to locate the goddess, but she refused to reappear. Instead, her voice reverberated from each of the stars in their circle.
"You're afraid of never accomplishing anything in your life. Understandable, since you're so... plain. And young. You haven't seen anything outside of a classroom." Din's disembodied words half-taunted. "And your mind is hardwired to not want to be the center of attention, but you lust after fantasies where that's all you are. You want to be a hero. Shall we say... a legend."
"No."
"Pardon?" She materialized in front of me again, eyebrows sharply curved and eyes narrowed.
"I know what you want me to ask you. I'm saying no." My voice shook--I shook--but I held my ground. Sky. ... Space. "You want me to ask you to whisk me away to the world you made on some insane adventure. Where I'll get killed in moments. ... God, you're the patron to the antagonist there. Why do you want this out of me? It's... it's cliché."
"If anything's cliché, it's your attitude." She tutted, sighing and raising her hands in a shrug. "I didn't want to play this card, starshine, but I will. I see all your little dreams, and they tell me what you do. You slip yourself into other worlds from the safety of your head, and when all's said and done and you've had your fun hanging around people who don't even know you--and you don't want them to know, you shy little thing--you can't get yourself out. Your dreams are trapped in waking in worlds that you don't want to be stuck in while trying to live a boring little life on your precious earth." She reached out and grabbed one of the stars from the circle, holding it up and practically caressing it with one hand. "But just think of the possibilities. One little wish, and I can make it all real. You'll have control over your twisted little brain for once, and your body can follow suit. You're just not... suited for the ordinary life. That's how you feel, isn't it?"
I gawked, trying to keep my mouth from hanging open. The words weren't untrue, but-- "But that's what I'm afraid of!" I snapped before I could stop myself. "The dangers of some unknown world where anything can happen! Where anyone can take advantage of how weak-minded you are and--"
I clapped my hands over my mouth, knowing it was worthless. Din could see into all of my insecurities, and she obviously wasn't leaving until she got what she wanted.
"... Why do you want me to do this so badly?" I asked softly, lowering my hands to grip my shoulders. The mark she had made on my left hand still throbbed dully. "What's in it for you?"
"Fulfillment. Feeling like a good person. Moral support for the underdog." Din shrugged, though she finally looked interested again. "I'll cut to the point. You make your wish--whatever you want in my power, I'll grant it to you--and I set you on a little quest to find yourself. If you can prove yourself worthy of what it is you want, it's all yours."
"That is the most backwards bullshit I have ever--"
I shut my mouth again.
"... How does the contract work?"
The goddess grinned, waving her hands and sending each star she had summoned off into the abyss. "I just explained the terms. Make your wish, then seal the deal by giving me your name."
"... You don't know my name?"
"Your real name. You're going to give it to me, one of the most powerful things about any existing being, for safekeeping. Really, it's all you have to give." Her tone was light and airy at this point. "Give me your name, your wish, and I choose a quest for you. Don't worry, you little shut-in starlet, I'll try to make it one that you know so well."
Every nerve in my body was screaming at me to say no, but something in my heart ached. What was the thing that I wished for so badly that I would risk my life in such a contract? That was easy--the alleviation of fear. The same fear she'd just talked about, but also the crippling anxiety that kept me all but chained to the back walls and in my bed when I could have done more with my life--so much more.
I looked up.
"You have a deal."