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The ceremony is already starting, and Penelope and Colin are grinning, holding back their laughs as they see their families’ shocked faces.
In the first two rows, the Bridgerton siblings look like they’ve collectively swallowed a lemon. Eloise’s mouth is open, unmoving. Benedict’s brow is furrowed so hard, it might stay that way permanently. Gregory has frozen in place, one eye twitching. Hyacinth’s hand is on Daphne’s arm, nails digging in. And Anthony? He looks ready to walk up the aisle and demand a do-over.
Because standing at the altar, Penelope is glowing in soft periwinkle, her hair curled down just so, the exact way Daphne had said suited her best. And Colin, looking smug and flushed with joy, beside her in a crisp suit and a freshly cut head of hair (Gregory’s recommendation), is the groom.
“Are we hallucinating?” Hyacinth whispers, blinking furiously.
“No,” Eloise murmurs. “No, because why would we hallucinate the same thing?”
“Someone say something,” Gregory says flatly. “Anyone. Please. I feel like my brain just crashed.”
Daphne whispers, “ She said she was getting married, and we really had no clue it was going to be him.”
Eloise hisses, “And we thought our brother was spiralling.”
“He asked me about wine. Expensive ones by the way.” Anthony mutters. “I thought he was planning to drink through it.”
“He asked me about photographers!” Benedict says, eyes wide. “I thought he was only going to ask about camera upgrades!”
“I picked that dress colour,” Hyacinth breathes, scandalized. “Okay damn, she wasn’t lying when she said I was going to see it.”
Francesca just groans. “I made her an entire playlist with dreamy songs for a walk in the park like she asked! But she really meant the walk in the aisle.”
“Oh my god.” Eloise slowly turns toward her siblings. “We helped plan their wedding and didn’t even know it.”
“I think I’m just glad he didn’t go for the buzz cut,” Gregory added.
From the other side of the aisle, Violet Bridgerton dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief, beaming proudly. She leans toward Agatha and murmurs, “They tried so hard to keep it from the siblings, didn’t they?”
Agatha Danbury chuckles. “Three words. About. Damn. Time.”
Back up front, the officiant clears their throat.
“Dearly beloved…”
Colin and Penelope lock eyes, still trying not to laugh. Her fingers curl around his.
No one in the room hears the next line.
Because in their seats, all seven Bridgerton continue to silently implode as for weeks they have been worrying about Penelope and Colin, while they are positively glowing and definitely enjoying their reactions at the altar.
They’ve never looked happier than ever. Or more triumphant.
The reception is in full swing with fairy lights twinkle above, the champagne is flowing, and the playlist (curated by a very unknowing Francesca) is setting the perfect dreamy romantic tone.
Penelope and Colin step up to the mic in front of the crowd, glowing, hand-in-hand, as if they didn’t just pull off the greatest Bridgerton heist of the century.
Colin grins, tapping the microphone. “Hello, everyone. We just wanted to thank you for coming to this very lowkey, totally predictable event—”
“—with zero drama , no shock factor, and definitely no emotional betrayal involved,” Penelope adds sweetly.
The guests chuckle. The seven Bridgerton siblings, however, do not (all of them still being happy for the newlyweds). They are seated at two tables, accompanied by their own partners, looking like they've just been publicly mugged by their brother and his new wife.
“Before we get back to the cake and dancing,” Colin continues, “we’d like to give a few special thank-yous.”
Penelope nods. “...to the people who unknowingly helped us pull this off with maximum stealth and minimum shame . ”
Penelope raises her glass high. “To the best group of unwitting wedding planners we could ever ask for. You’re all adorable . And you’ll never live this down.”
“Cheers,” Colin grins. “We love you.”
And with that, they clink glasses and head off the stage as they leave behind a table of seven utterly stunned Bridgerton siblings, blinking like they just sat through a live-action conspiracy documentary. Anthony shakes his head slowly. “I should’ve pushed Colin off a cliff when I had the chance.” And earning a smack on the chest from his wife, Kate, and a laugh from Simon.
Exactly one hour later, Penelope and Colin are ambushed behind the dessert table like criminals cornered by the crown.
All seven siblings close in around them. There’s no way out. It’s a full ambush. Eloise is blocking the left. Anthony is blocking the right. Daphne and Francesca are flanking. Gregory is muttering something that might be Latin.
Hyacinth is already yelling. “YOU ASKED ME TO HELP YOU CHOOSE A DRESS COLOR WITHOUT CONTEXT AND I SAID PINK BUSH—”
“—I SHOULD’VE ASKED MORE QUESTIONS.”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAVING A BREAKDOWN,” Anthony shouts. “YOU BOUGHT EXPENSIVE BOTTLES OF WINE FOR JUST WANTING A DRINK.”
Colin shrugs calmly. “For a very nice occasion, by the way.”
“I GAVE YOU A PLAYLIST!” Francesca screeches. “THERE WERE STRINGS. THERE WAS STRING VERSIONS OF THE SONGS YOU LIKED. I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR A WALK IN THE PARK! ”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEAVING THE COUNTRY AGAIN AND LONGER THIS TIME,” Benedict says, deeply wounded. “You were cryptic! ”
“You always get cryptic before a sabbatical!” Gregory shouts. “The haircut! The silence! The vague answers! ”
Eloise is pacing now. “You two—... You monsters —... WE have spent WEEKS letting us believe you were broken up, miserable, spiralling—while you were planning the wedding of the century behind our backs.”
“Okay, we actually broke up! Then, when we got back together, we were engaged right away. We were just planning it quietly. Colin suggested it if you want to blame someone.” Penelope says innocently. Colin looked at her, jokingly offended when she exposed him to them. “Hey! You agreed without any question.”
Daphne crosses her arms. “And what exactly made you think this was a good idea?”
Penelope and Colin exchange a look.
“Chaos,” they say in unison.
“We had to do something fun,” Colin adds. “You lot are dramatic. You plan surprise interventions like normal people plan brunch.”
“But honestly, it’s mostly to take off the pressure,” Penelope points out.
There’s a long beat of silence. Then Hyacinth mutters, “Okay. Fair.”
Gregory raises a hand. “Serious question. Is this a prank? Like an extremely elaborate, legally binding prank?”
Colin raises his left hand and wiggles his wedding ring.
Gregory lowers his. “Okay. It’s real. Cool. That’s cool. I’m fine. I need a chair.”
Gregory sighs. “Still. You could’ve at least told me .” Colin raises an eyebrow. “You’re literally the one who said I should ‘rebrand’ after heartbreak. You told me to get new shoes and go silent on Instagram.”
“I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU COPE! ” Gregory wails.
Eloise flops dramatically into a chair. “I need therapy. And possibly a nap.”
“Just wait until Mum finds out,” Benedict says darkly. “She already knows,” Penelope chirps.
“Mum helped with the guest list,” Colin grins.
“She even picked the napkin holders,” Penelope adds.
Anthony groans. “Oh, brilliant. Even Mum was in on it.”
They all start bickering again, voices rising, fingers pointing, someone grabbing the wine bottle straight from the bar. The chaos is glorious.
In the middle of it all, Penelope leans into Colin’s side.
“Still think we should’ve told them earlier?” she murmurs. He wraps an arm around her, looking over the group of very dramatic, very stunned siblings.
“Nope,” he grins. “This is way more fun.”