Work Text:
"We have a nice, neutral relationship."
The hesitation in his voice was apparent. He knew that what he'd just said will stir up some noise about Lewis and himself, but what else was he supposed to say? Crofty refused to let the topic go, still asking questions about Nico's relationship with the Brit and how it's holding up after 2016. He has a hard time blaming him for it - from an outsider's perspective it was simply an intriguing topic about an old re- friendship broken up by the unwavering will to win. But for Nico? It was like reopening old wounds, a painful reminder of what he's had in the past, that he will never get back.
Because after all this time he wasn't able to recover from cutting contact with a person he loves so dearly. Any time he looks in the direction of Ferrari's garage he is met with the familiar ache in his heart, telling him that Lewis should be alongside him in Mercedes' gear, getting ready for another spectacular performance.
Nico wishes to reconcile with the Brit, to be able to tell him all the things that linger on his mind. The problem is that Lewis refuses to even look in the German's direction, let alone let himself be vulnerable around him.
To make things worse, they live in the same apartment complex, forcing them into awkward small talks. Usually, they consisted of shy 'hey's, asking about their day. If it was a particularly long elevator ride they'd talk about the weather or Roscoe, who had to be a witness of these meetings when coming back from a walk with Lewis.
Nico sighed. It was a long day, mainly due to the red flag that stopped the race from taking place. He wished to be back home already, sipping on a hot cup of coffee in the warmth of his own apartment. That had to wait though, as his flight was scheduled for the day after the Grand Prix. The German walked into the fancy hotel, heading to the elevator. As he was thinking about which meal to order for his late-night dinner, he saw a familiar figure leaning on the elevator's wall.
"Lewis."
The Brit jerked his head up at the sound of his ex-partner. He looked tired, with eyebags creeping the way under his eyes. His skin looked paler than usual, and it made Nico slightly worried. He tried to brush it off as post-race fatigue, and instead forced himself to smile at the figure in front of him.
"Oh, hey Nico."
"How was the race?" He asked after a while, trying to make things less awkward.
"It was pretty good," Lewis replied. "Just wish we raced in the rain."
"Yeah, you'd have a pretty good shot at getting into the top 5, you're one with the car whenever it's raining."
Lewis smiled at those words. It's true, he has loved racing in the rain ever since he remembers. At times it seems like he drives better in harsh conditions, navigating through the track with ease. He lifted his head up to look at Nico, who was staring right back at him. The Brit tensed up at the sudden eye contact, and tore his sight away. Rosberg's gaze felt almost suffocating at times - as if the blonde could see right through him. It wasn't a bad thing, not when they were close to each other, at least. Right now Lewis waited for the elevator to stop at his floor, the impatience and stress rising with each second passing.
Nico, on the other hand, just couldn't stop analyzing the other man's features. He saw him fiddle with the fabric of his shirt, a thing he does out of habit whenever he's stressed. What also caught the German's attention was the way Lewis' clothes seemed to be looser on him than previously. It could be an oversize fit, Nico thought, but matched with the pale skin, bags under his eyes and the visible lack of energy it pointed to conclusions that made him wince.
He stayed silent for the rest of the ride.
Nico was glad to be back in Monaco once again. He could finally rest after a long, draining weekend spent in Belgium, and he couldn't have been happier about it. He spent most of his day on his couch, watching some movies with a cup of coffee he'd been dreaming of since his visit to Spa. After a few hours Nico opted for a small walk, just to get some fresh air. Sure, doing nothing all day sounds amazing, but it does get boring after a while. He went for a stroll in a nearby park, admiring the vibrant flowers surrounding the pavement and engulfing himself in the sunshine, enjoying the summer heat. He tried not to think too much about a certain someone that used to accompany him on his walks any chance he could. Nico refused to let the longing in his heart ruin his calm evening.
The calmness didn't last long, though.
Nico went back to his apartment complex, and immediately went for the elevator. Because of the size of the building, getting to his floor would require climbing dozens of stairs, and he simply didn't feel like doing so.
Walking into the elevator, he immediately spotted the exact same man he met just a night ago back in Spa. Pretty ironic, he thought to himself.
But just by taking a quick glance at Lewis, he could immediately tell that something's wrong. His face was drained from all color, and he was leaning over the handrail as if it was the only thing holding him up. He seemed to be barely conscious, given that he didn't notice Nico walking up to him.
"Lewis, what's going on?" The man asked, not hiding his distress. He was already grabbing the Brit by his side, steadying him on his feet.
"It's nothing," he slurred out. "I'm fine."
"Geez, you haven't changed one bit," Nico replied. "Just let me help you."
Lewis sighed at that, but didn't protest. He was too fatigued to protect his pride, and instead leaned on his ex-partner. He could hear Nico ask him all sorts of questions, but he couldn't make out much of them. His head was spinning, and he could feel his grip tightening around the blonde's chest.
Nico guided Lewis to his bedroom, helping him lay down. The German was horrified by the state of his past lover, and felt almost helpless. He ran to the kitchen, scrambling around to get Lewis a glass of water, a snack, and some medicine. It ended up being a difficult task - each cabinet he opened was almost fully empty. He frowned at the sight of empty shelves everywhere and settled for just water and vitamins, alongside some painkillers. He went back to the man quickly, placing the now full glass next to his bedstand, alongside the pills he was able to find.
"Doing any better?" Nico asked, sitting down at the edge of the bed.
Lewis just groaned in response, not being able to muster up any energy.
"Look, I brought you some medicine, you gotta take it. It will help you," He added, after hesitating.
Nico saw the other man nod weakly and went to help him sit up. He kneeled down on the floor next to his bed, and held Lewis' shoulders while he was struggling with taking the pills. He put the glass back to its place and let Nico guide him back to the bed, barely holding his eyes open. The other man wore a worried expression, not being able to tear his gaze away, but also staying silent.
"I better go now, you need to rest-"
"Stay," Lewis murmured quietly.
Nico froze in his tracks. It felt like a fever dream, honestly. Just yesterday they weren't able to hold a conversation, but now he was in Lewis' bedroom, asked to stay in for the night. He wanted to refuse, to go back to his own apartament, to scream at the other man, to tell him that he has lost his mind - but he couldn't. He loved him too much.
"...Okay," he replied, the shock evident in his voice.
He cradled up onto the bed, getting comfortable under the thin sheets. Nico could see the other man looking at him with glossy eyes, a mixture of relief and longing behind them. Nico didn't want to push it, afraid of what Lewis might say after he wakes up tomorrow. The Brit took the matter into his own hands though, leaning into his past lover's chest.
They stayed silent, dozing off under the satin sheets.
Nico woke up to a sudden noise coming from the bathroom. He noticed that Lewis was nowhere to be seen, and scrambled up onto his feet, heading to the man. He knocked on the door, and hearing no response made him anxious. He repeated the action, and after being met with silence yet again, he opened the door.
Lewis was slouching on the cold tiles, leaning heavily on the toilet in front of him. His face was wet with tears, and he looked at Nico silently.
"Hey, it's alright," Nico said, sitting right by the other man. "Wanna talk about it?"
"I'm so sorry, so so sorry, I swore I'd never-"
"Shhh, calm down, I'm here," He cut off, hugging Lewis tightly.
The Brit started crying at that, gripping Nico as if he was about to disappear from his life again. They sat like this for what felt like hours, refusing to let each other go. Once Lewis calmed down he rested his head on Nico's shoulder, still holding his waist tightly. The German, on the other hand, started playing with the other man's hair, gently swirling his dark locks in between his fingers.
"Lewis," Nico started after a long silence. "You know that you can always come to me if you're struggling right? I know our relationship's been rocky, but I still care about you. I hate seeing you like this."
The silence Nico was met with was suffocating. He started regretting saying these words, afraid that he pushed the trembling man too far, until he heard a soft voice mumble something that left him breathless.
"...Thank you. I love you, Nico."
Lewis lifted his head to look at the other man. He looked almost desperate, the tears he suppressed earlier were threatening to spill. His face was full of raw emotions that made Nico's heart ache.
They were just centimeters away from each other, their breath hot on their skin. Nico couldn't wait any longer, and dove in to close the distance between them. Their kiss was hesitant at first, reminding both men of their first ever intimate moment. Lewis quickly melted into the embrace, reciprocating the feeling. The kiss tasted salty from the tears, but was able to lift the stone of both men's hearts. There were so many things between them that still remained unsaid, but that could wait. For now they enjoyed each other's warmth as if they were teenagers again.