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Black Raisin Cookie was breaking all of the vows she had made to herself only a few years ago.
When she had seen all of the Cookies with gold and crystals to their name refuse to lend a hand to those suffering, she had vowed to never trust a Cookie like them again. When she had faced Dark Enchantress Cookie, she promised to never ally with her Cookies again.
She was now both a prominent figure in Strawberry Crepe Cookie's life and... something with Golden Cheese Cookie.
After the Vanilla Kingdom was restored, Strawberry Crepe Cookie had finally began working truly for themself. Eventually, when the Council had commenced, they began to allow in more Cookies than just Black Raisin Cookie and occasionally a Raisin Villager or two. They had spent the entire time the kingdom had guests pretty much hiding in the Wafflebot Hangar; they avoided the Dark Cacao Tents like the plague in particular.
Black Raisin Cookie knew the pain of being forgotten by the rest of the world, just as Strawberry Crepe Cookie had felt. Espresso Cookie, being from the Lower City of the Crème Republic, also knew this feeling all too well. Maybe this was what created the bond between Strawberry Crepe Cookie and Espresso Cookie.
Madeleine Cookie was a different story altogether. Strawberry Crepe Cookie and Black Raisin Cookie had initially thought of Madeleine Cookie as an arrogant airhead, just as Espresso Cookie did, until Strawberry Crepe Cookie had noticed how much Espresso Cookie brought up Madeleine Cookie unprompted.
For a Cookie who swore to hate Madeleine Cookie, he certainly spent a lot of time thinking about him.
Eventually (and thankfully for Strawberry Crepe Cookie) those two Cookies had worked themselves out. Black Raisin Cookie, however, wasn't as fortunate.
Upon her return to the Vanilla Kingdom, while Pure Vanilla Cookie was preparing to depart for Beast-Yeast, she had spent many hours thinking of what she could only describe as a walking contradiction of a Cookie. At first, the honorific "her Radiance" didn't make much sense to Black Raisin Cookie, but it truly was the only word that could come close to defining the presence that Golden Cheese Cookie held. She wasn't merely excellent or majestic; she was undoubtedly radiant.
These thoughts, which would go on to become a plague that took up everything from her dreams to distractions while she had work to do. After months of this, combined with her reluctance to burden Pure Vanilla Cookie with a single thing more than the work he had done healing the children of her village for years after the war, she finally decided to ask him for his services. Even if he couldn't help, surely he would know a Cookie who could.
-- ★ --
Black Raisin Cookie entered the White Lily Greenhouse through its small door, taking in the strong scent that was contained behind the door. Pure Vanilla Cookie sat in a gazebo in the center of the greenhouse, sipping on some tea. He turned as he heard the door close behind Black Raisin Cookie.
She made a last minute wish to whatever power was above, below, or beside her that she wasn't going to hear something that she couldn't make sense of. She wanted a clean-cut answer.
"Black Raisin Cookie," Pure Vanilla Cookie said, setting his teacup down on its saucer. "What brings you here?"
"I seek your advice," she muttered, already regretting the words. Pure Vanilla Cookie nodded, beckoning her towards the structure he sat within.
Black Raisin Cookie walked through the greenhouse, petals of White Lilies brushing against her right side. As she stepped into the gazebo, she could faintly smell the comforting aroma of the tea Pure Vanilla Cookie was enjoying; the strongest scents were warm, like ginger and cinnamon.
"What troubles you?" he asked, his voice softer now that the other Cookie was closer.
"It's a matter of..." Black Raisin Cookie mumbled, "another Cookie."
Pure Vanilla Cookie smiled, gesturing to encourage her to keep speaking. She sighed, taking a yellowing leaf off of a nearby lily bush. She picked at it gently, creating little cuts that gave it texture.
"I just can't get the thought of them out of my head," she began, her careful dissection of the leaf speeding up. "It's gone from a simple thought once a week to multiple times a day. I can't focus properly."
Pure Vanilla Cookie looked across Black Raisin Cookie's face, searching for any sign of deceit or mischief. She was genuinely confused.
"What is it you think of?" Pure Vanilla Cookie questioned, Black Raisin Cookie stammering.
"Well, it's just..." Black Raisin Cookie tried to explain, her pride getting in the way. "I suppose it's good things. Memories I have with them, things they've said to me... their eyes, too. Their eyes that could crumble the strongest Cookies with just a powerful enough glance."
Black Raisin Cookie glanced at the leaf she had been picking at. Strangely, with all of the tears she had made in the leaf, it almost looked like a feather. She quickly threw the leaf into the nearby bushes, Pure Vanilla Cookie looking at her with an unreadable expression.
"So...?" she asked, though it sounded more like pleading. "What's wrong?"
Pure Vanilla Cookie frowned a bit, shaking his head sadly. Black Raisin Cookie felt her heart sink.
"I can't lie to you and tell you such a feeling has an easy fix," Pure Vanilla Cookie sighed.
He looked her in the eyes, and whether by some magical force or just her own doubt, it dawned on her exactly what was going on. What had probably been going on since the moment she saw Golden Cheese Cookie when they were both vulnerable in one way or another.
She had never expected this level of obliviousness from herself of all the Cookies she knew. To be fair, she never expected to fall in love throughout her lifetime, despite the fact she wasn't even halfway through it yet. She just stared back at Pure Vanilla Cookie, who had watched her connect the dots.
"You understand now that the only Cookie who can fix this is you," Pure Vanilla Cookie remarked.
"I could plant myself a greenhouse," Black Raisin Cookie said, Pure Vanilla Cookie giggling.
"I'd say switching the Raisin Crows for Cheesebirds would be more fitting," Pure Vanilla Cookie replied, Black Raisin Cookie sputtering. "Did you think I wouldn't know you describing a Cookie who I fought alongside during the greatest conflict in the history of Earthbread?"
"Okay, okay," Black Raisin Cookie conceded. "You win, I take it back..."
As she got up to leave the greenhouse, Pure Vanilla Cookie called after her. She turned back towards him.
"Her favorite flowers are carnations," Pure Vanilla Cookie added before going back to his tea.
-- ★ --
Black Raisin Cookie and Healer Cookie had been close, but once he had heard the Light of Truth again, Pure Vanilla Cookie had practically become her brother. They knew a fair bit about each other that most Cookies on Earthbread would never come close to knowing. This is why, when Black Raisin Cookie found a packet of carnation seeds and a few soil-filled pots at the front of the inn the next day, there wasn't much of a reaction.
Since then, things with the flowers had gone alright. She wasn't able to achieve an entire greenhouse filled to the brim with carnations, but she had managed a few pots that could survive a day or two inside if it snowed. The Vanilla Kingdom wasn't known for frigid winters nor humid summers nor extreme temperatures and droughts, so they were a fairly easy plant to take care of with the help of Madeleine Cookie. Black Raisin Cookie decided not to question where he'd learned so much about gardening; as long as his advice worked, it could come from anywhere.
The crows had initially been particularly keen on sabotaging her garden project, however, one unfortunate bee sting quickly got the word around that the flowers were not to be approached. With the two weeks Black Raisin Cookie had to prepare, she was especially careful with her flowers. If she had any intention of gifting them to Golden Cheese Cookie, they had to be perfect.
Perfect deserves perfect, after all.
While she wanted to be close to Golden Cheese Cookie, she also had her worries. Black Raisin Cookie knew that the other Cookie would live beyond her, as she had for years before. She couldn't begin to think of what would happen to Golden Cheese Cookie when she inevitably gave into the life of a Cookie. Would the Light of Abundance continue to shine for the queen? Would she turn to destruction as those before her had? Would she create a delusion for herself where Black Raisin Cookie would live forever?
After all of this, Black Raisin Cookie felt selfish for wanting what she could truly never have. They would have maybe half a century together before she would crumble in her old age, and that was without considering the possibility of the war that loomed over all of Earthbread.
This was why Black Raisin Cookie had made the vow to keep the Cookies she trusted to a minimum. Not simply because they could hurt her, but because if she became attached, it would hurt more. Crows held grudges against those who wronged them, much as Black Raisin Cookie held them against those who even resembled her past enemies. They shared something in common, though: they had far too short a life to be holding grudges against others who could make the time they had left far better.
It wasn't like Black Raisin Cookie had never experienced loss herself; grief had followed her every day since the Dark Flour War. She had barely been old enough to wander the village after dark when it was brought into shambles, left with nothing but the crows she fed stale bread to and the doughy little Cookies that hadn't even seen the world before the war.
Left with nothing but birds and the promise of a future civilization in the ruins of what once was her home. That was the first vow she had made, before the vows against trust and fortune: the younger villagers would see a life far better than she had so far. Healer Cookie had helped with that from the very first time they crossed paths. He had a talent for healing unlike anything she'd ever seen, which now clearly had been possible due to whatever remained from the Light of Truth.
She'd fought to make sure, even after all their troubles as friends, that Pure Vanilla Cookie would be there to continue helping others. It made him happy, after all. Black Raisin Cookie knew her place. During the council, she only intervened when the Soul Jams were in danger of being taken into the wrong hands. She had gone to find one of his closest friends. She owed him her life, and that debt could never be repaid, so she would work towards getting even halfway there.
Black Raisin Cookie made a new vow going to sleep about ten days before all of the guests would arrive: she would try, even just a bit, to do something for herself.