Chapter Text
I loved you for so long already. 7 years. 7 years, Kira.
For seven years, Yumeko has been hiding her feelings for her best friend, Kira. Seven years of bittersweet pain; of heartaches; of laughing a little too hard when Kira said something dry and offhand; of regrets — moments where she wanted to confess; to pour her heart out, but couldn’t, because how could she?
She spent weeks trying to soften Kira up when they first met; trying to lower down her walls — that look of indifference that she wears like an armour that Yumeko eventually got through layer by layer.
So no, she didn’t want to fuck it up with Kira, not after everything she’s been through to get through Kira; not after getting close enough to hear Kira’s laugh when she makes a dumb joke, or the way Kira smiles when Yumeko says something insane.
Yumeko loves Kira too much to lose her, and now, Yumeko is four days away from graduating.
Four days ‘till graduation.
“So, Yume, what’re you wearing for the graduation? Have you picked anything out?” Michael asks, as Yumeko takes a bite out of her sandwich.
“Mhm, wait,” She says, as she points to her mouth, still chewing, “Yeah, I think my mum’s more excited than me actually, she even went with me to try the gown on.”
“I think mine’s a little long, like I swear I can feel it dragging,” He says, as Yumeko chuckles.
“Too bad, you—”
Yumeko’s phone starts ringing loudly, as she hurriedly tries to grab it from her bag. She smiles as she sees the contact name. It was a call from Kira.
She picks it up without hesitation.
“Kira-san! What’s up?” She asks, as she takes another bite out of her sandwich.
“Hey, Yumeko. Where are you? It’s an emergency.” Kira replies blandly.
Yumeko stops chewing — her face drops, as she rushes to Kira’s house.
Yumeko is welcomed by Kira’s father, Arkadi, and while Yumeko dislikes him for what he has put Kira through, she tolerates him for Kira.
“So, Yumeko, tell me, are you attending the graduation ceremony?” Arkadi asks pointedly, as he sits on a wingback chair, motioning for Yumeko to sit on the other.
“Of course, my parents are looking forward to it actually.”
“Good for you.” He says, pulling his hands closer, “Kira said she won’t attend, said she’s not yet done with school.”
“Hm?” Yumeko hums in confusion.
“She got into law school, impressive considering she spent all her time doing things she called passion. Looks like she’s finally coming into her senses, following our footsteps, just like the generations before her.”
“Oh.” She says flatly.
She was astounded by what he had just said. Kira? Law school? Why doesn’t she know about this? Why didn’t Kira tell her first? Since when did Kira want to be a lawyer?
She thought that because Kira had already taken up her passion, that maybe Arkadi had finally accepted that she wouldn’t be a lawyer like he wanted her to be, but maybe she was wrong, after all, Kira still chased after her father’s praise and approval.
“… What’s your plan after graduation?” He asks, breaking Yumeko’s thoughts, as she laughs nervously.
“No plans yet — just happy that I’m finally graduating.”
Suddenly, loud footsteps are heard from upstairs, as Kira emerges.
“Yumeko.” Kira calls out, nudging her to follow.
“Excuse me.” Yumeko tells Arkadi, as she follows Kira to her room.
“Close the door.” Kira says, Yumeko pushes the door shut.
“Okay so, what do you think looks better?” Kira asks, holding out a flannel and a utility jacket.
Yumeko stares at her blankly, “Seriously? I went all the way here to pick out jackets and flannels?” She says, annoyed.
“Yes! Yumeko! Come on,” Kira groans, “it’s an important gig! I need to look good!”
“You always look good,” Yumeko adds casually, as she yanks the jacket out of Kira’s hands, throwing it at Kira, “here.”
Yumeko sits down on the floor, leaning her head on Kira’s wardrobe.
“So, where’d you come from?” Kira asks, as she wears the jacket.
“Graduation rehearsal.”
“Rehearsal? Doesn’t that make the graduation, I don’t know, less exciting?”
“We paid for it anyway.”
“You know people just go to graduation for a diploma right? A paper.” Kira chuckles, and Yumeko looks at her, really looks at her, and suddenly she forgot that Kira made her come all the way here for clothes, because all she could think about is Kira, and that damn smile that melts her heart each time.
Damn, Kira does know how to get her.
“I told you, Kira, it’s not just for me, it’s for my parents. They’ve been really excited to see their only daughter graduate college.” Yumeko explains.
“But it’s also my birthday,” Kira argues, “next year, you’ll remember your graduation instead of my birthday!”
“What the hell are you even talking about?” Yumeko asks bitterly, “Next year, you’ll be celebrating with your law friends anyway,” she says, as Kira looks away.
“You didn’t even tell me you were planning to continue the family legacy, attorney.” Yumeko adds, feeling irritated again.
They were silent for a couple of seconds, before Kira decided to speak up again.
“Actually, I wanted you to hear my new song that I’ve been working on,” Kira says, grabbing her guitar, “Of course, I need your opinion on it, as a friend.”
“As a friend.” Yumeko thinks, chuckling silently to herself, letting Kira deflect. She’s used to it by now. If Kira wanted to tell her, she would, but she wouldn’t force her just because she wanted to know.
Kira gently strummed her guitar, as she sings softly:
“Supposedly a lifetime”
Yumeko stares at her, softly; full of longing. A look that silently says “I really wish that you knew how long I’ve been loving you.”
“Supposedly ‘till the end
The road’s still long
Are we really getting off here?”
“Something like that,” Kira says, “I’m still working on it,” looking back at Yumeko who’s still lost in her thoughts — not to the song, but to Kira.
“It’s… nice,” Yumeko says as she snaps back into reality, “are you sad, attorney?” She asks, in a joking manner.
Kira stares at her blankly, as she fixes her things, saying nothing in response.
“Oh? I see. So you are sad, huh?” Yumeko chuckles lightly, smirking.
Kira rolls her eyes, “come on, let’s go.”
Kira stops the car in front of a convenience store.
“I’ll just stay here,” Yumeko says.
“Alright. How many bottles do you want?” Kira asks, as she turns slightly to face her, one hand still on the steering wheel.
“Two,” Yumeko replies, raising two fingers.
“Okay, boss.” Kira says, as she leaves the car.
Yumeko watches Kira across the parking lot, the back of her jacket flipping gently in the breeze.
Her jacket’s a little too big for her, and Yumeko knows this because it used to be hers. Kira asked to “borrow” it for a rainy open mic gig, and never gave it back.
“It looks better on her anyway,” Yumeko thinks, smiling like an idiot, as she rests her head on the window.
This is what it’s been like. For seven years. Seven years of loving Kira quietly, constantly, in moments like these.
She watches Kira greet the cashier with a dry smile.
She should tell her.
Right now.
Just… get out of the car, walk into the store, and just say it.
But then what?
Kira might laugh; she might not. She might say thank you, or sorry, or why now?, or sorry I don’t feel that way, or worse — she might pity her.
No, Yumeko could live with rejection, but not pity.
Kira interrupts Yumeko’s thoughts as she enters the car, carrying a bag containing 4 bottles, and crisps.
“Wait, did you get me butterballs?”
“Of course,” Kira says with a smile, holding up a bag of butterballs for the other.
“Here, two bottles for Yumeko,” Kira jokingly says, as she hands them to her.
Yumeko chuckles in response, as she opens the first bottle, putting the other in the glove box.
They’re now at the bar — Kira in front of the stage, strumming her guitar slowly.
“Just to let you guys know, this is going to be my last song, as a student,” Kira says, with a smile, as the audience applauds and cheers.
“I dedicate this song to all graduating students, especially to my best friend who’s graduating in four days!” Kira says, as she scans the room looking for Yumeko.
“Yumeko! I love you!” Kira says, as she meets Yumeko’s gaze across the room.
Yumeko freezes at this, is this really real? Or did she have too much to drink?
For years, she’s been waiting for this moment.
No. No, Kira says I love you all the time, but she’s never said it — not like this. Not with a spotlight; not into a mic; and especially not with people watching.
“I love you, bro!” Kira adds, with a smile.
Oh.
Oh.
Yumeko bitterly raises her beer bottle, giving a slight nod to Kira, as Kira performs her last song.
Yumeko takes a sip out of her drink, as if her heart didn’t hit the floor, roll under the table, and disappear.
Of course, bro.
She should’ve known.
And Yumeko, the idiot she is, still lets herself believe that, just for a second, maybe this time’s different.
She watches Kira up on the stage, as if nothing happened — like Kira didn’t just hand her a match, and walked away before it caught into flames.
“So? You like the song? Or the singer?” Someone jokingly asks from behind.
“Fuck you, Mary.” Yumeko says, as Mary stands beside her.
Mary’s the only person who knew about Yumeko’s feelings toward Kira. There were nights where Yumeko would knock on her door, drunkenly sobbing — all because of a certain person.
She knew how bad Yumeko had it for Kira.
As Kira finishes her song, she slowly approaches the both of them.
“Oh, hey Mary. You’re here.”
“Well, duh, this is your last gig,” Mary replies, smirking, as Kira offers a faint smile in return.
“Ah huh, anyway, Yume, are you still staying over at Mary’s?” Kira randomly asks.
“Yeah, why?” Yumeko asks, confused, as she takes another sip of her drink.
“Let’s go to Bruce County.”
“Huh? What’re we gonna do there?”
“Well, beach obviously, but also Riri told me there’s this music festival there,” Kira says ecstatically, as if trying to convince them to come, “it starts tomorrow, ‘till Sunday.”
“Are you crazy? I have a graduation to attend! Unlike you.” Yumeko frowns.
“No, obviously, we’ll go home by Saturday,” Kira chuckles, nudging Yumeko’s hand. “Come on, I promise we’ll be back before your graduation.”
“Okay, okay!” Yumeko defeatedly says, as Mary smirks beside her.
“Mary, you’re coming with us too!” Kira says, “I’m just gonna use the restroom.”
“I have work!” Mary yells back, but Kira was already leaving.
Mary faces Yumeko, deadpan. “I have work tomorrow actually.”
“Oh my god, Mary! You’re my best friend right? You have to come with me! You have to be a supportive friend right now!” Yumeko exclaims with a pout, as she clings onto Mary.
“A while ago you didn’t even want to go!” Mary teases, “Now, you wanna go?”
“Come on, Mary. Did you see what she did right here? Did you see her face? She was pouting! Who would say no to that!” Yumeko argues, as Mary snorts.
“You’re so fucking down bad. You are a lost cause.”
“Please, Mary! You have to come with me! What if there’re a lot of cute girls there!” Yumeko tries, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Okay! Fine! I’ll go! Jesus!” Mary rolls her eyes, as she raises both of her hands in surrender.
“I swear to god, if we don’t get back before Sunday, I’m committing homicide.” Mary mutters, packing her clothes.
“Mhm,” Yumeko hums, lying down, staring at the ceiling.
“Yumeko, this will cost me alright, so it better not disappoint, or I’m going to beat you up.”
“Kira is so annoying!” Yumeko suddenly exclaims, eyebrows furrowed, as she throws a pillow on her face.
“I mean, it was almost perfect! She said it! She said I love you! Why did she have to add bro?” Yumeko groans, as Mary snorts, removing the pillow from Yumeko’s face.
“Because she’s allergic to clarity.” Mary says, folding her shirt and shoving it into her bag, “Because the universe hates you. Because she’s a disaster with feelings, and has probably never processed a single one in her life.”
Yumeko groans again, dragging her hands down to her face, “She looked right at me, Mary! Like, straight at me! I thought that this time, maybe she meant it. Like maybe, she finally saw me the way I saw her.”
Mary pauses, biting the insides of her cheek, “I mean, she did mean it — just not the way you want her to mean it.” She shrugs.
“Okay, but do you think I have a chance? With her?” Yumeko stares at the ceiling, like maybe the answers were there, etched into it.
Mary didn’t respond right away. She zips her bag slowly, as she finally says, “I don’t know, but seven years, man, probably not. Even hope packed its bags and left you already.”
Yumeko throws a pillow at her, as she lets out an incredulous laugh, “Wow. Thanks. That was so helpful. Really uplifting. Aren’t you supposed to be my best friend?”
“Yeah, and aren’t best friends supposed to tell you the truth?” Mary smirks, tossing the pillow right back at her.
“Fine! I’m leaving.” Yumeko says, getting ready to leave.
Mary raises a brow, “Wow, aren’t you the one asking for a favour?”
“Fine!” She groans dramatically, plopping down the bed.
Mary stifles a laugh, as she crosses her arms, “You guys really need to figure shit out before you graduate on Sunday.”
“I will.” Yumeko mutters, voice low, like it’s a promise; or a lie that she’s trying to believe.