Chapter Text
THE LAND OF STORIES INTERKINGDOM COURT
RIGH. EMERELDA STONE, JUDGE
THE LAND OF STORIES
VERSUS
LLOYD LUCILLE EVERGREEN 19 August, 1797
TRANSCRIPT BY FEATHER;
Reviewed by Lord Timothy Hoth, Lady Desdemona, and Sir Lionel.
21 August, 1797
PAGES {1} THROUGH {14}
APPEARANCES:
JUDGE’S COUNCIL: EMERELDA STONE
ALONSO BENEDICTINE
RED RIDING HOOD
RAPUNZEL
ULI GRANT
THOMAS-CHESTER LAMPTON
For Charmingdom:
MICHAEL GARISH
For Centre Kingdom:
THEODORE BARNUM
For Corner Kingdom:
TAVISH BENJAMIN
For Eastern Kingdom:
VIRTUE THE FOURTH
For Fairy Kingdom:
XANTHOUS HAYFIELD
For Northern Kingdom:
VETIS BIRCH
PLAINTIFF ELECT: LORD GREGOR THOMPSON
WITNESSES: CINDERELLA CHARMING
CHANCE CHARMING
CHASE CHARMING
CHANDLER CHARMING
CHARLIE CHARMING
THOMAS-CHESTER LAMPTON
DAHLIA OF HOUSE ROTH
WILONA
SY
JOHANN
ALEX BAILEY
CONNER BAILEY
BREE CAMPBELL [W]
EMMERICH HIMMELSBACH [W]
CHARLOTTE BAILEY [W]
CORA
VIOLETTA VEE
SKYLENE LAVENDERS
TANGERINA TURKIN
ROSETTE MEADOWS
EMERELDA STONE
XANTHOUS HAYFIELD
ULI GRANT
SNOW WHITE
ALICE
BEAUTY THE SECOND
FARMER ROBINS
GLORY
JACK
GOLDILOCKS
RED RIDING HOOD
BARON RAFTERS
ELVINA ALDERWOOD
ALVIN TREELEGS
TROLLBELLA
MURCH
DAISY
RAPUNZEL
JUNE WILLIAM
TRAVIS
SEAFRETT
GRETEL
ALFONZ REMBERT
HAGETTA
Seafrett, Enchanter
Official Council of the Interkingdom Court
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
In the Crooked Father’s eyes and under the Blue Fairy’s stars, this court is called into session. Let the record show that the trial of Lloyd Evergreen began at eight in the morning in the Chrimson Courthouse in Charmingdom.
SEAFRETT:
The record shows, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you. For the record, could the assembled council verbally acknowledge their presence in the courtroom when their name and position is called?
SIR BENEDICTINE:
Aye.
REP. BIRCH:
Seconded, for the record.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Emerelda Stone, presiding judge of the court?
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Alonso Benedictine, councilman?
SIR BENEDICTINE:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Red Riding Hood, councilman?
QUEEN RED:
Councilwoman. Present. SCRATCH
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Scratch that from the record. Ask again.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Scratched. Red Riding Hood, councilman?
QUEEN RED:
…Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Rapunzel, councilman?
QUEEN RAPUNZEL:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Uli Grant, councilman?
SIR GRANT:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Thomas-Chester Lampton, councilman and arresting officer?
SIR LAMPTON:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Michael Garish, representative of Charmingdom?
REP. GARISH:
Present, ma’am.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Theodore Barnum, representative of the Centre Kingdom?
REP. BARNUM:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Tavish Benjamin, representative of the Corner Kingdom?
REP. BENJAMIN:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Virtue the Fourth, representative of the Eastern Kingdom?
REP. VIRTUE:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Xanthous Hayfield, representative of the Fairy Kingdom?
REP. HAYFIELD:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Vetis Birch, representative of the Northern Kingdom?
REP. BIRCH:
Present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. That is all.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Let the record show that all members of the assembled council are present.
MS. SEAFRETT:
The record shows, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you. The council will now review the charges against Lloyd Evergreen, as summarised by Ms. Seafrett and Lord Timothy Hoth, who are both present in the courtroom. For the record, Representative Hayfield will read the charges aloud.
REP. HAYFIELD:
Thank you, Righteous Judge Stone. The charges against Mr. Evergreen are as follows:
Attempted robbery of the Fairy Godmother;
Escape from prison;
Aiding and abetting a criminal in sieging the Land of Stories;
Accessory to kidnapping;
The murder of former Queen Bo Peep;
Robbery of the Fairy Godmother;
Robbery of Prince Charlie Charming;
Assault of Conner Bailey;
Conspiring with a wanted criminal;
Assisting in the escape of six hundred and nineteen criminals from Pinocchio Prison;
Declaring war on the Land of Stories;
Destruction of Charmingdom, the Centre Kingdom, the Corner Kingdom, the Eastern Kingdom, the Fairy Kingdom, the Northern Kingdom, the Troll and Goblin territories, and the Elf Empire;
Kidnapping;
Attempted murder;
and Direct responsibility for the deaths of two thousand people and counting.
For the record, that is all.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you, Representative Hayfield. Does anyone on the council have objections to any of these charges?
SIR LAMPTON:
Uh, yes, Your Righteousness. The first, fifth and ninth charges, I believe. The first, Mr. Evergreen was–
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Councilman Lampton, could you clarify which charges are the first, fifth and ninth, respectively, for the record and the council?
SIR LAMPTON:
Yes, Your Righteousness. The first is “attempted robbery of the Fairy Godmother”, the fifth– apologies. Does the record show that the first is “attempted robbery of the Fairy Godmother”?
MS. SEAFRETT:
Yes, Councilman Lampton, the record shows.
SIR LAMPTON:
Excellent. The fifth is “the murder of former Queen Bo Peep”.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded.
SIR LAMPTON:
And the ninth is “conspiring with a wanted criminal”. Does that–
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded. Apologies, Councilman Lampton.
SIR LAMPTON:
It’s alright, my own fault. Does that suffice, Righteous Judge Stone and council?
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Yes. You may proceed.
SIR LAMPTON:
Thank you, Your Righteousness. The first Mr Evergreen was already charged for eleven years ago in Fairy Godmother versus the Masked Man and is not a current offence. The fifth-
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Hold, councilman. I’d like to request that the court records from Fairy Godmother versus the Masked Man are brought to the council for review. Lady Desdemonda?
LADY DESDEMONA:
Yes, Your Righteousness?
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Please retrieve the aforementioned records from my study.
LADY DESDEMONA:
Yes, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Let the record show that Lady Desdemona has left the room.
MS. SEAFRETT:
The record shows, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you, Ms. Seafrett. Councilman Lampton, you may continue.
SIR LAMPTON:
Thank you, Your Righteousness. As I was saying, there is no evidence to suggest that Mr. Evergreen killed former Queen Bo Peep. From multiple witness accounts, he never touched her and had not been physically in her presence for over a decade. From the Cadre’s own investigations and the investigations of the Interkingdom Law Enforcement Alliance, there was also no indication that former Queen Bo Peep had been harmed by magical means or was enchanted.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Are the records of these investigations in the court’s possession?
SIR LAMPTON:
Yes, Your Righteousness. I gave copies of both to Ms. Seafrett.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you. Ms. Seafrett, when Lady Desdemona returns I’d like to review those copies.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Yes, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you. Continue, Councilman Lampton.
SIR LAMPTON:
To conclude on charge five, it’s unlikely that Mr. Evergreen killed former Queen Bo Peep based on these–
QUEEN RED:
Oh, come off it! Objection!
SIR LAMPTON:
Excuse me?
QUEEN RED:
You heard me! I don’t need to see any of your fancy investigation records to know that that little scumbag was spelling her– SCRATCH
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Councilman Red Riding Hood, please refrain from emotional outbursts in the courtroom. Scratch that from the record.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Scratched.
QUEEN RED:
Sorry, Your Righteousness. I only meant to say that if you looked at the investigation records that as- er, Councilman Lampton referenced, both found indications of love potions in Little Bo’s blood or whatever.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Councilman Lampton, is this true?
SIR LAMPTON:
It is, Your Righteousness. I would like to note, however, that there is no evidence Mr. Evergreen was the one who drugged former Queen Bo Peep and that that is not a charge Mr. Evergreen is facing, so it should not be entertained. Am I correct in my observation?
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
That is correct. Let the record show that Councilman Red Riding Hood’s objection is overruled.
MS. SEAFRETT:
The record shows, Your Righteousness.
SIR LAMPTON:
May I continue, Your Righteousness?
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Yes, you may, Councilman Lampton.
SIR LAMPTON:
Thank you. Concluding charge five, I move to charge nine with similar complaints. This is purely speculation. There are no witness accounts of Mr. Evergreen and Morina speaking–
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Hold. I’d like to confirm something. Is Morina the criminal referenced in charge nine? On another note, it would benefit the council if the official charges are numbered.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Yes, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
On which, Ms. Seafrett?
MS. SEAFRETT:
On both, Your Righteousness. Morina is the criminal referenced and the official charges will be numbered.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you, Ms. Seafrett. Apologies, councilman. Proceed.
SIR LAMPTON:
Thank you. No one has ever witnessed them speaking and I doubt you could find anyone alive who would be willing to testify that Mr. Evergreen and Morina met. It would not benefit the council to consider this further when there are already many… many other, more serious, charges.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Is that all?
SIR LAMPTON:
That is all, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you, Councilman Lampton. Having heard–
LADY DESDEMONA:
Your Righteousness–
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Let the record show that Lady Desdemona has returned to the courtroom, with Fairy Godmother versus the Masked Man, I presume?
LADY DESDEMONA:
Yes.
MS. SEAFRETT:
The record shows, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Approach the bench, both of you. Let the record show that I have received both the records from Fairy Godmother versus the Masked Man and the investigations into former Queen Bo Peep’s death and will now review them.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Oh, one moment. Um, the record shows, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you, Ms. Seafrett. The court will adjourn until 10:30. Let the record show that the court is adjourning at 10:13 so the council may finalise the charges.
MS. SEAFRETT:
The record shows, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Court adjourned.
MS. SEAFRETT:
Recorded.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Let the record show that the council has moved to a private location to discuss Mr. Evergreen’s charges. Ms. Seafrett is no longer with us and it is 10:15.
REP. BIRCH:
You make it sound like she’s dead.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Let’s make this quick, council. Having reviewed Fairy Godmother versus the Masked Man and the investigations into Bo Peep’s death, I believe that Sir Lampton’s complaints may have some merit.
QUEEN RED:
Are you kidding me?
QUEEN RAPUNZEL:
With all due respect, Your Righteousness-
REP. HAYFIELD:
Emerelda, you can’t possibly be thinking of entertaining this.
SIR LAMPTON:
Entertaining? Do you think I’m trying to get him off?
REP. BENJAMIN:
Poor choice of words.
SIR LAMPTON
Shut up, Chancellor. There are, what? Fifteen charges on this list? I think we could do without those three, most of which we have no witnesses or evidence for. Removing them would save us time and resources.
SIR BENEDICTINE:
That is some horse shit, Lampton, and you know it.
SIR LAMPTON:
No, I don’t. Feel free to educate me, though do try to do it without sounding like a–
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
I call this council to order! If you’re done bickering like children, I’d like to proceed with my decision.
SIR LAMPTON:
Yes, Your Righteousness.
SIR BENEDICTINE:
Yes, Your Righteousness.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
At 10:21 let charges one (1), five (5), and nine (9) be dropped from the official list of charges against Mr. Evergreen.
REP. HAYFIELD:
As you wish, Righteous Judge Stone.
QUEEN RED:
Unbelievable. What has happened to our legal system? We’re just going to let some farmboy bully us into dropping this?
SIR LAMPTON:
Look who’s talking.
QUEEN RED:
Excuse you?
REP. VIRTUE:
I should think you two could be more mature about this–
REP. GARISH:
But, she has a point. Do the removed charges even matter in the grand scheme of things? The more we have on this man, the better, damnit!
SIR GRANT:
I believe that this is Sir Lampton’s point exactly, if I may. The charges that he requested be removed are miniscule in comparison to, as you said, the “grand scheme of things”.
QUEEN RED:
Oh, is the death of a queen miniscule to you, George? Perhaps we should call your employer in here and you can tell her that to her face.
SIR GRANT:
What did she call me?
SIR LAMPTON:
Don’t– don’t worry about it. Your Majesty, Sir Grant only meant to imply that, comparatively, the other charges hold much more weight and that the council’s sentencing most likely won’t change in their absence.
REP. HAYFIELD:
Why remove them at all, then? If our sentencing won’t change.
SIR LAMPTON:
I hoped we wouldn’t have to get into this. I suppose no one here remembers or has heard of Charmingdom versus Chester Charming ?
REP. HAYFIELD:
Gods, I can’t believe you’re bringing that up.
SIR LAMPTON:
Oh, so someone is familiar with this case. Care to give everyone else a rundown of what happened, Xanthous?
QUEEN RAPUNZEL:
Chester Charming was on trial for neglecting the welfare of his subjects— really, it should have been an open and shut case. But the judge’s council had no witnesses and insufficient evidence to back the charges. The arresting officer tore them apart. He managed to turn the judge and Charming only got a slap on the wrist.
SIR LAMPTON:
Well put, Your Majesty. You can’t be caught with holes, council. They’re so easy to exploit.
REP. HAYFIELD:
Emerelda, are you listening to him?
QUEEN RED:
Uh, I think we’re all forgetting a very important detail here– this ass is the arresting officer! If the moral of that lovely story wasn’t “don’t trust the arresting officer” then I don’t know what it was!
SIR LAMPTON:
Well, that much was obvious.
QUEEN RED:
Oh! How dare you–
REP. BARNUM:
I hate to interrupt this erm, conversation, but, Your Righteousness, it’s 10:29.
RIGH. JUDGE STONE:
Thank you, Representative Barnum. My decision is final and I do not expect the council to agree with it. Let the record show that the council is going back to the courtroom at 10:29.